Looking to a new and improved future??
Sometimes it’s hard to believe, but it IS possible to turn your passion into a career. Here’s some evidence in the form of six very successful people who did just that!
Layoffs, downsizing, and “rightsizing” are a common occurrence these days, and often they happen without rhyme nor reason.
by Nancy Friedberg, Now What? Facilitator
We’re living in an age of perpetual motion—so much so that we forget to take a moment to press the pause button, collect ourselves, and breathe. Proof is everywhere. While recently purchasing an Apple Watch, I discovered a new Apple App called Breathe. Oddly enough, this genius app detects an elevated stress level and heart rate and reminds you to BREATHE with an alarm signal to your wrist.
I have seen countless clients who end up “burned out” from overload and find their careers and personal lives come to a grinding halt. They are often left with three choices: 1) quit their job 2) obtain approval for a sabbatical from work or 3) request a medical leave of absence. But what if these options simply don’t feel plausible?
Try this instead: Give yourself permission to take what I call a “mental sabbatical.” I define this new concept as a structured time out from life—a chance to free your mind—devoid of all the should’s and have to’s rattling around your head. A period to simply feel mentally free to explore without any added pressure of having to do something, make any forced decisions, or take any impulsive fear-based actions.
Think about what’s Not Working
Consider any and all unnecessary clutter in your life, be it physical, mental, or emotional. Unless you spark a change, you’re likely to become burned out at work. Explore all the parts of your life that are draining and no longer serve you. Make a list of all the intolerances and irritants—people, places, and things. Then eliminate each energy drain one by one.
One dramatic example of this simple exploration led one of my clients on a de-cluttering frenzy in her home. The result? She decided after 4 months that a radical career/life change was in order. She left her corporate career of 25 years and a marriage of 15 years and moved from NYC to upstate New York, forging a whole new professional and personal life.
Examine Your Identity
Evaluate your primary role and how it impacts your identity. Are you a full time caretaker for your children or aging parent, a leader on a mission, or a tireless volunteer? Dig deep and discover the other parts of your identity you may have lost touch with. Identify any losses you’ve endured without overdoing it in this primary role.
In May 2010, I gave myself permission to take a 4-month full-time sabbatical from my primary role as Career Coach. The clarity I sought came right to me—in the white space I discovered a deeper craving for greater connection and more quality time with my two teenage sons. Following my leave, I transformed how I worked and played so I could be more fully present for both my sons and my husband while at home and my clients while at work. Today, 7 years later in my new role as “empty nester,” I can say it was the best choice I ever made.
While you might feel out of control, as though you’ve lost your authentic nature, a mental sabbatical can help you find your way, once again.
Look At Limitations
Consider your limiting beliefs and write them down. Think about the stories and messages you received from long ago that no longer serve you. By encouraging productive thinking and creating new possibilities, you’ll create excitement that embodies more of who you are. For instance, is your line of work limiting? Or, are you more risk adverse? Be honest: According to research at Pepperdine University School of Management, authenticity and vulnerability are linked, so don’t shy away from acknowledging flaws or limitations.
Explore Your Life Story
Take this time to separate the happy, healthy parts of your “story” from the unhealthy ones that may have led to fatigue and burnout. You can also start your day on a positive note with morning motivational mantras from Now What?® Coaching to encourage mental change. At Now What?® Coaching, those suffering burnout or who are desensitized to their dreaming mechanism are also encouraged to engage in “hobby by crisis.” Once you’ve identified negative patterns in your life story, use your intuition to create new ideas.
For instance, engage in a new hobby that can bring joy. View life as an experimental laboratory, rather than a prison where you feel enslaved. Here’s an example: One client realized it was time to reignite his sense of humor. What started out as simply a fun improvisation class turned into a moonlighting side career, performing at comedy clubs around NYC.
Find Your Purpose
Enthusiastically search out the qualities that absolutely no one on this planet has that only you can offer. Ask others for feedback on what they come to you for and how you have enriched their lives. These unique gifts will help you define your purpose. For instance, a study at Florida Atlantic University found that people who lack meaning have higher risk of depression, anxiety, and substance abuse, but by encouraging participants’ creative talents, such as writing and meditation, risk decreased.
These gifts of purpose can also be quite simple, such as making someone laugh easily, being the voice of reason, inspiring wonder in others, or serving as the calm force in a crisis. Find ways to live from your purpose every day during your mental sabbatical.
Put yourself first to nourish the soul and regain authenticity. Whatever your path may be, approach it with excitement, openness, and curiosity—and you will see the healing it provides for health and happiness, long-term.
Originally published on Nancy Friedberg’s Linkedin articles
If you read my last installment, you are aware that I’m running for office in NJ at the state level. It’s a full-time addition to an already full-time business and a full-time position as chief operating officer of a household with teenagers. This is not unlike what many of you are facing as you search for a new job or build bridges to your next career move.
PREPARE: Realize that what you are about to embark on will require taking back hours of your day. Clear the way to make that happen. Get out of unnecessary commitments and begin lining up people who can help you.
LIGHTEN YOUR LOAD: Please don’t tell me you can’t. You either have to ask for help or hire it. Rely on friends to drive your kids or take over volunteer responsibilities. Let your household responsibilities wait, or if you can afford to, hire out the pieces you will no longer have time for. My husband has taken over shopping and preparing meals, which had been my exclusive responsibility.
USE YOUR TIME WISELY: Make your new effort a top priority daily. What MUST get done today to move it forward? You can and should do more than the one thing, but you must have one FAIL PROOF item that WILL happen every day for your new direction or query.
BE CHOOSY: Along the lines of valuing your time, be sure that you are focusing on priorities in the rest of your life too. However, be very choosy. It’s OK to say no to things that will derail or distract your efforts right now. You have to be a bit selfish for a while. “No” to everyone who wants to meet for coffee, “no” to meetings with no agenda, “no” to even your workout some days. (OK I’m talking about myself on that last one)
KEEP A MASTER LIST: Keep a longer-term list of things that have to be done in separate parts of your life. (Current job, future project, home life) and constantly re-prioritize. Delegate to get the most important things taken care of first while keeping your eye on the next thing coming up. (I’ve often said my years as a waitress made me very good at this—but I know that may not be that helpful for you!)
RUN TO WIN! —Yes, that’s political campaign lexicon, but when you are working towards a new job or a career change, you don’t do it to lose. You do it to win. Assume the win and behave accordingly!
IF you hold on to the vision of what you are trying to bring into your life by changing jobs or careers, I would expect you to be inspired. That inspiration needs to fuel you as you keep up your life as a double agent. Fully living the life you’re in and the one you are growing towards.
You can do this! Let us know if we can help.
When you’re willing to begin where you are, go with what you know, take steps to build a following, and commit to a project, it can take off and fill a need not only for your followers, but also for you.
Is there a project you’ve been thinking about? Where might you begin?
No one wants to get laid off, and it can feel like a disaster when it hits home. But at times, these unexpected turns in your career, lead to a brighter path.
It’s happened twice now.
I heard the call. I wavered – looking for a way out, really hoping I’d find one. Then I committed and pieces began falling into place without my even trying.
The truth is this has happened multiple times but none as clearly as the first and second. First, was back in 1991 when I entered into the unknown profession of personal coaching. The second is now: I am running for NJ State Assembly in the 26th district.
I never could have predicted either one.
What was consistent in both instances was I listened to my gut – my intuition – and followed it despite holding absolutely no vision of an outcome or guarantee.
I would love to make this “teachable,” but unfortunately, there is no step-by-step instruction. I’m hoping the story will help. It’s one of determination, doubt, and political shenanigans.
My father was lying in hospice in the hospital the day after the November elections. That morning, I woke up and heard the notion in my head that I was going to run for office. That was 100% laughable but felt very, very real in my body and mind. By real I mean, it registered as truth. Despite my inner critic having a field day with that idea, I filed it away and went on with the business of caring for my father and being with all the family who had gathered to wait for the inevitable.
Fast forward to January. Not too long after the New Year, I had to make a decision about an annual conference that I emcee each spring. The organizers needed to confirm that I’d be back for their event. I knew that I could not do it. I was very, very firm in my conviction even though I could not give very solid reasons or arguments as to why I needed to step down. The thought of disappointing friends was very difficult, but thinking of moving ahead out of obligation or to avoid upsetting people was more torture than just saying no. So, I said no. This opened up months of room in my schedule.
A couple of weeks later, two or three people put the Women’s Campaign School at Yale in front of me as something I should check out. I remembered that one of my clients had attended and a few phone calls later, I was applying to the program. Thanks to many online and grassroots programs, I started diving into immediate training at the same time. As these things lined up, I began to develop what felt like a reasonable plan. I’ll learn the campaigning process, I’ll volunteer on campaigns, and some day when the timing is right, I’ll run for office. That sounded good and reasonable. I could do that.
Ha! So much for that!
During the three weeks it took to get two letters of recommendation to complete my campaign school application, I was sitting with a small group of women at a kitchen table in my town brainstorming how to become more active in the political process in our area. A fast-growing group was already covering our 11th congressional district NJ11th for Change, so we decided to focus on our state legislative district- the 26th.
Oh, my God! What a nightmare that revealed!
We quickly learned how gerrymandered our district is and how our voices have not been heard within it for decades. Our group grew from five at the kitchen table to 30 at our first community meeting and then quickly to over 200 on our Facebook Group (NJ26th for Change). Our group kept wondering who would be running against the incumbents, and I kept my mouth shut. We did discover that some perennials who run year after year were going to run again. And one new person who had been in town government some decades prior was entering the race. Plans were being made to meet them.
Still I was quiet. Until a woman in our extended group, an experienced field director for Hillary Clinton’s campaign impressed me with her knowledge. I approached her to understand what it would mean to run for office. In that moment the ‘tsunami’ began brewing way out at sea.
Meetings with political operators were followed by an offer from Robin, the field director, to be my campaign manager, some sleepless nights, a weekend intensive on women’s campaigns at Rutgers University, conversations with my family and after much angst, a candidate was born. The waves were growing.
Getting the lay of the land as quickly possible meant also getting to know the establishment. In other words, the Chairmen (no women in my district) of the party committees in my district. To make a long story short, as wonderful as it was for them to meet a viable candidate, the wheels were in motion and other candidates (mentioned above) were already being put forth with their blessing. I was not to be one of them. And that, ladies and gentlemen, should have been the end of it. The tsunami could have faded away.
You don’t know me, do you? Nor did they. That was not the end! I already had the campaign website, the campaign bank account, the donation software, the Facebook and Twitter accounts, and the team underway. I hadn’t made any announcements so I could have easily and silently gone back to my life and no one need ever know. However, my memoir (should I ever write one) won’t be called “Motivated by NO” for no reason.
One Chairman could not/would not change his ballots for his convention despite three week’s notice and the other county’s Chairman was perplexed as to why he couldn’t nor why there wouldn’t be a the chance for a write-in. Chairman two gave me his blessing and was putting me on his line, but took it away after speaking to the first Chairman in order to keep the peace. And me? I had nothing at stake other than to tell the truth, so I did.
The campaign went live and press releases to the media after we informed every municipal chair and county chair in the district that I was sent away with a pat on the head and an invitation to come back in two years, but I was running anyway. I was not satisfied with the party choosing one man who (bless his courage) had lost three times and another who was never vetted (his own admission). Furthermore, the first Chairman kept saying his committee would be very upset if they knew there was someone else. We helped him out with that. That doesn’t make one popular.
I now have to win a primary against these two gentlemen on June 6th. I’ve ruffled feathers and even caused some embarrassment to the powers that be. Ultimately, the people of NJ 26th deserve to choose their candidates, not have them chosen for them with very little thought or effort. I am exercising my right to run and support is coming in from around the country through donations and volunteer commitments.
As I reflect on this as a coach, what are the lessons to draw from here? This story is an example of following your intuition, fighting for what’s right, even if it goes against the grain, and exercising our right to have a voice in our government.
I help people exercise their courage every day to do what they dream of and what they must do, whether it feels comfortable or not. I have to walk my talk. Those of you that know me know that this is not out of character, but this time it’s a doozie!
I’m not giving up my day job. (NJ Assembly is considered a part time paid position), but I look forward to seeing where this goes, and I hope you’ll support this adventure. No matter what happens, it’ll only make me better equipped to serve you as readers, clients, or constituents!
Live your truth! I am living mine!