HOW DID I GET HERE?

by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

It’s like waking up in the middle of a bad dream.  You abruptly realize you have no idea where you are and how you got there.  Am I in a  hotel? Am I home? Where is the usual light under my door?  It’s unsettling, confusing and spooky until your brain resets itself and reality aligns.

Realizing you are at a job you can’t tolerate another day longer is similar. “How did I get here?”, you might exclaim.  “What am I doing??”

You got there by doing all the right things.  Sending out a resume, doing a good interview (or a few), meeting the expectations of your employers and family members, cashing your paychecks, building a life and finally, ignoring all the signs along the way that told you you were headed for an implosion.

It’s not your fault.  We have not been trained to respect our inner voice and we ignore the tsunami of our identity crisis until it’s too late to flee with good results.

“HOW DID I GET HERE?” is probably not as important at this point as “HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE?”.

Take a deep breath and follow the guide set out below:

RECLAIM YOURSELF

Get out of the panic and misery by shaking it off. Get a hold of yourself.  You are not trapped.  You will find a way back to job satisfaction.  Just calm down.

ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE

You’ve probably been complaining for a while about your work situation.  Stop talking about it.  Start focusing on what you DO want instead of what you DON’T want and can’t stand.  The more you talk about what’s possible in a new situation the more likely it’ll be that you’ll recognize opportunities as they come by.

RETRACE THE MISSED MESSAGES

Go back and review where you missed the signs that things were headed to an implosion.  What signs did you ignore?  What promptings from your gut did you not obey?  How many times did you stop yourself from saying something or doing something that could have improved your situation?

MINE THE GOLD

Study the missed messages and see what you can cull from them to give you clarity.  What hints are in there as to what you want or might do next? 

LISTEN CAREFULLY

As you study and decipher the nuggets you culled in the last step, listen carefully to your body’s reaction to what you’ve found.  If it scares you to consider what the whispers are saying, it’s a good sign to keep going in that direction as unrealistic as it may sound. 

START TAKING SMALL STEPS

Everyday do something that moves you out of your current scenario, even if you are not leaving your job or company.  Talk to new people, research new opportunities, take one of those nuggets from the steps above and act on them, in earnest.  Don’t let another day go by spent in misery, fear or hair-splitting frustration. 

Before long, you’ll have caused some change.  The better it gets, the more you’ll want to keep shaking things up until you’ve created a scenario you are really happy with.

Let us know how we can help.