Now What?® Coaching

Category: Acknowledgements

How to Quiet Your Anxiety So it Doesn’t Get the Best of You

Over the past few years, you may have noticed anxiety is at an all-time high.

Dealing with our everyday responsibilities amidst the milieu of a global pandemic, political unrest, economic uncertainty, wars, mass shootings, natural disasters — you name it — isn’t exactly calming to the nervous system.

But hiding under a rock isn’t the answer. So what do you do?

As a coach, it’s my job to help clients navigate their career and business moves. The catch is, none of those moves happen in a vacuum.

If nothing else were going on — to throw a wrench in your plans, impede your decisions, and add stress to the mix — my job would be a piece of cake. But the reality is we’re always going to deal with challenges in our work and life, and the rising prevalence of anxiety has been a big one lately.

To get a handle on your anxiety so it doesn’t get the best of you, here’s what I suggest —

1. Remember, you can only control the things you can control. When you can’t control what’s happening, you only have control over your reaction to it.

2. Do things proactively to calm your nervous system. Exercising, meditating, spending time in nature, and hugging the people you love.

3. Monitor your thoughts. Keep in mind, fear is protective, but it’s not always accurate. Ask yourself if your fears are actually False Evidence Appearing Real. If so, make an effort to stick to the facts.

4. Know that all worry is about a future that’s not here yet. Why are you projecting the worst that can happen when you really have no clue how it will turn out?

5. Take action on the things that matter to you. Do one thing instead of nothing. Even if you make a tiny impact, you’ve made the only difference you can make.

I want you to know you are enough.
You can only do the best you can.

I’ll leave you with this: Namaste 🙏

If you’re unfamiliar with this Hindu term, it means “the divine in me greets the divine in you.”

When we come from the place of seeing the divine in the people we interact with, seeing the better part of everyone, we will bring about peace in ourselves, in our communities, and spread goodwill.

The more we focus on what we can control in ourselves and the more we greet the best in others, the more we keep anxiety at bay.

November 5, 2023
Do You Have a Business or a Hobby?
Almost everyone seems to have entrepreneurial dreams these days.

With remote work becoming the norm, self-employment soaring, and the barrier to entry shrinking, more people are hanging their shingle, claiming to be open for business.

But just because it’s easier to start a business doesn’t mean it’s easy to find success. All too often, people underestimate the level of commitment it takes.

You can approach this one of two ways: as a hobbyist or as an actual business owner. You’re either taking this thing seriously or you’re not.

Are you sincere about building something lucrative and sustainable, or are you just dabbling in a non-committal way?

The answer may surprise you . . .

Because you can claim you’re in it to win, but if your results are showing otherwise, it’s time to get honest with yourself.

Here’s how to tell if your business is really more of a hobby —
1. You avoid talking to people. Rather than having a conversation with a potential client, you’d rather hide behind a website or steer clear of networking opportunities.
2. You don’t follow up. Instead of pursuing business, you leave it to luck.
3. You keep giving discounts. You’re so worried the prospect will say no (and you’ll have to go out and look for another one) that you won’t stand in your value.
4. You’re doing it all. Refusing to hire help, you remain chief cook and bottle washer.
5. You’re inconsistent. You try a little of this and a little of that, but you’re not sticking with anything long enough to make any meaningful progress.
Hobbies are great, but treating your business like a hobby is no way to reach your goals.

Here’s what to do instead —
1. Own it. Put your stake in the ground. Claim it and mean it: “I am a business owner.”
2. Make it clear. You need to get clear on your value, your offer, and your agreements.
3. Know your numbers. Reverse engineer your business to determine exactly what it takes to get the results you are targeting.
4. Identify your SS (your “Special Sauce”). What makes you unique? Know exactly how the value you offer is different from what everyone else is doing.
If you want to keep tinkering and tiddling around, be my guest. But if you want to own your business, make it work for you, and experience success, you’ll have to take a different approach.
October 29, 2023
Business Lessons My Latest Hobby Taught Me
Earlier this year, I discovered a new hobby: Furniture Flipping.

In case you’ve missed this trend all over social media, it’s when people take tired old vintage, antique, or boring mass-produced furniture and freshen it up with paint, refinishing, and other creative ways to give it some oomph.

When I was clearing out some of my mom’s things, I found that people weren’t interested in buying outdated pieces — no matter the quality. The reality is, without some sprucing up, too many unloved items end up in the dump.

Once I started noticing what was hot on the market, I began looking around at my own things with a new perspective. Let’s just say there was room for improvement. I got to work on an antique dresser and fell in love with the results … and the process.

It turns out, furniture flipping is relaxing, fun, and fulfilling!

Before I knew it, I’d restored, upcycled, or modernized — and sold! — nine pieces.

Don’t worry, I’m not shutting down my coaching practice to flip furniture full-time, but I’m having a ton of fun and learning a lot along the way.

Here are the lessons I’ve picked up so far from this new hobby.
1. Everything takes longer than you think it will. 
  Whether it’s stripping furniture stains or building a new website for your business, you have to be willing to stick it out and see it through to the end to get the results you want.
  
  2. Mistakes are a skill builder. 
  You could be aiming to deliver a perfectly smooth finish on a furniture piece or to deliver a perfectly polished conference talk. In either case, there’s probably room for improvement. Learn from where you went wrong and do better next time. Start reframing mistakes as skill builders, and you’ll benefit from every brush stroke.
  
  3. Being flexible is a must. 
  Things don’t always go as planned. When an antique piece you’d hoped to restore turns out to be too damaged to salvage, you may have to pivot, paint it instead, and give it a new life. The same goes for your business. That course you wanted to launch could be more profitable as a one-on-one offer. Being too precious about the original plan could end up costing you.
  
  4. Find the joy.
  Sometimes, even with the best intentions, you get in over your head. Maybe you took on a whole bedroom set before noticing the intricate carving and details, or maybe you took on a massive project with unexpected obstacles. You want the outcome, but the work is dragging you down. Stop, take a deep breath, look around, and find the joy again — the peace, fun, satisfaction, or fulfillment. What is it that brought you to this moment and how can you savor it?
I’m passionate about this hobby and plan to keep it going. As always, I’m growing, evolving, and finding lessons to share with you in everything I do.
October 15, 2023
How to Deal with Difficult People

Let’s face it; people can be difficult.

Even if you consider yourself a people person, dealing with various needs, personalities, priorities, and quirks can be challenging.

There’s always going to be conflict.

Whether it’s a tough client, boss, or coworker, your overall success and happiness ultimately depend on how well you’re able to navigate that relationship.

The good news – it’s not as hard as you might think — as long as you keep these three tips in mind:

Tip #1: In any given situation, you have two realities:

1. The facts and 2. The interpretation of the facts.
We are not always going to agree on the interpretation. Here is an example:

Person A: This stinks! I was planning to go to an arts festival; my day is ruined!

Person B: How wonderful! My lawn needed this, and now I can curl up with a good book.

We all view facts differently. When you’re dealing with a difficult person or situation, you have to remember — there’s what happened, and there’s what each person thinks about what happened. Once you’ve considered this, it’s easier to resolve any friction.

Tip #2: Follow Stephen Covey’s advice to begin with the end in mind. (That’s habit #2 in his blockbuster book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.)

People don’t like drama because they’re afraid they’ll get stuck in whatever nastiness ensues.

When you find yourself in conflict, focus on what you want to get out of it. What’s your goal? What do you want to resolve? Keep your eye on the prize, and stay focused on moving forward.

Tip#3: Avoid the word “you” unless it’s used in a positive light.

Saying “you” in the heat of conflict triggers an inflammatory response. People feel blamed and berated, and they don’t like it one bit.

Instead, frame the conversation with the word “I.” I hear you, understand, see we have a difference of opinion, and I want you to know I want to resolve this to your satisfaction.

This keeps the other person off the defensive and out of “fight or flight” mode. It allows for a reasonable conversation and coming to a resolution.

These three tips will make a big difference, and the more you use them, the more you’re able to build rapport and trust, even with the most difficult people. The next time a conflict arises, you can build on the successful outcome you created the last time. Before you know it, that person no longer ruffles your feathers because you know how to deal with them.

Remember: The customer isn’t always right. Your boss isn’t always right. And that overbearing coworker isn’t always right.

You don’t have to let difficult people walk all over you. It’s okay to disappoint people, agree to disagree, and move on. You’ll have more respect for yourself, garner more respect, and win in the end.

September 10, 2023
A Message For These Times

It’s hard to believe another year is coming to a close, but here we are.

As we wrap a bow on 2022 and celebrate the winter holidays, I want to thank you. I’m grateful for the gift of having you in my world this year and so glad you’re here.

Some didn’t make it to see this season through. If you’re missing loved ones or experiencing grief, my heartfelt condolences to you.

If you are suffering from the weight of other difficulties, my heart goes out to you.

Something you may not know about me is that not only am I a master credentialed coach, but I’m also an ordained interfaith minister. And I want to share a bit with you about ministering…

Don’t worry; this isn’t a religious message…

As a coach, my job is to get you unstuck and seek solutions. I listen for an opening and encourage clients to shift their perspective.

As a minister, on the other hand, my job is to be a witness. I’m there to be fully present and hold space. This training and experience has given me insight into human suffering.

What could we do differently for those who are in pain? *

You don’t have to DO anything, you have to BE. You can’t take the pain away, but you can ease it by BEing present. As we gather with family (or “chosen family”) this holiday season, remember that these aren’t happy times for everyone. Maybe they aren’t happy times for you. Perhaps you’ll be entering toxic spaces with toxic people.

Ministering (as a verb) can turn this around for you…

Here’s a quote that I included in my book, The Little Book on Meaning:

“Our true destiny is not to be ministered unto but to minister to ourselves and to our fellow men.” — Franklin D. Roosevelt

To minister, to witness, to BE, to be present, to love, and to hold a container of wholeness for somebody even if they don’t see themselves as whole…

To bring forth patience and love and understanding, even when we don’t understand…

That we just witness, and we witness someone’s pain, and witness their struggle…

Can make all the difference.

I think it’s safe to say we’ve all been through some tough times recently.

So please accept this prayer, regardless of religion or tradition, to think higher, to think better, and to be aligned with goodness.

Energy of all things (God, spirit, higher self),
Allow me the blessing of a full heart,
That I may have more than enough of myself to share,
to another who needs it.
May I be a blessing to anyone that comes my way.
May I have the patience to care and the strength to lend.
May I see the light of life in all who are put in my path.
Help me to see it, embrace it, and give it.
May I serve as it is called for.
Thank you.
And so it is.
Again, I thank you.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Until next year,
Laura

*(Trigger Warning: Suicide) First, it’s important to note that should a loved one or friend makes the choice to end their life, it’s not your fault. Depression is not rational; it’s a disease that doesn’t allow people to see their value. If you are in the position to take action because someone has made you privy to that level of despair, get help. Have them call 988 or you call for guidance if they won’t.

December 25, 2022
#QuotesToLiveBy: Strength Inside Yourself

April 10, 2017