Tag: coaching

  • How to Make a Tough Career Decision

    How to Make a Tough Career Decision

    Figuring out where to go next on your career path is rarely an easy decision.

    It often keeps people up at night, tossing and turning, wondering what their next best move might be.

    How to make a tough career decisionWhen considering an opportunity, sometimes it’s a clear “hell no!” or “heck yeah!” But more often than not, folks find themselves grappling in the gray — not knowing which way to go.

    We’ve all been there.

    You make a list of pros and cons.
    You ask everyone you know for their input.
    You’ll even start flipping coins if you’re desperate enough.

    But if you really want to find the best answer, here’s what you need to know —

    When you’re nervous about making a career decision, there’s a good chance your brain is working against your best interests.

    Your gut is trying to steer you right.

    The small voice inside that we refer to as instinct or intuition is pretty spot on. If the idea of pursuing the opportunity feels exciting and lights you up, that’s a big hint that you’re onto something.

    But then the fear starts to kick in.

    You’ll recognize it when you hear yourself saying, “yeah, but…”

    Here’s a tip I learned a long time ago from a career counselor:

    “The number of ‘yeah, buts’ you say is in direct correlation to the depth of your fear.” – Adele Scheely

    Your fear is simply trying to put on the brakes to keep you safe, but it can keep you stuck if you let it.

    ‘Yeah, but’ is your logical thinking flexing its muscles.

    Let it help you anticipate the obstacles you may face and chart a clear path forward, but don’t let it stop you.

    Discernment is important because there’s often another tricky conspirator attempting to push you forward while further clouding your decision-making — your emotional needs.

    Are you really excited about this career move because it’s the right thing for you? Or are you doing it in an attempt to fulfill some unmet emotional need — seeking approval, recognition, or validation, for example?

    Your emotional needs are aching to be fulfilled, trying to get your attention because you didn’t get enough of whatever it is as a kid.

    It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but it is something to be mindful of. Don’t let the need to feel loved, heard, or appreciated override good sense.

    See what I mean? Not easy.

    Career decisions come with real consequences.

    Without the ability to work out the decision from a place of awareness and confidence, you can find yourself miles down the wrong path, wondering how you got there.

    You may even find yourself walking in circles or hesitant to take the next step because you are already lost. This is especially true if you’ve made poor decisions in the past that got you to a place where you didn’t want to be.

    You may have lost some trust in decision-making. So let’s work on that.

    In my experience as a coach, I’ve found the best way to reach a healthy decision is to feel your way through it. If you’ve lost touch (or trust) with your gut instincts and intuition, you can learn to tune back in again.

    So if you’re grappling with a big decision and want some guidance feeling your way through it, join us over in the Career Clarity and Direction Community on Facebook.
  • Career Lessons Learned from the Royal Family

    We just witnessed the end of an era.

    After a lifetime of service to her country, the reign of Queen Elizabeth II came to an end — a sad day for so many worldwide.

    We also witnessed a new beginning, as the man we’ve always known as Prince Charles transitioned into his role as King Charles III.

    Career lessons learned from the royal familyAt nearly 74 years old, he’s stepping into a job he’s been planning and training for since childhood. Talk about succession planning!

    As a career coach, I can’t help but find this fascinating.

    While most of us set out to land a job that best suits us, we often make compromises that land us where we never expected to be. We don’t always get to follow the plan we charted from the start.

    When Queen Elizabeth took the throne at age 26, she declared that no matter how long or short her life was, she was committed to being of service.

    If you’ve ever been in survival mode, you might find yourself muttering “must be nice.” Being of service is a whole lot easier if paying the bills isn’t at the forefront of your mind. But hear me out…

    If you’re finding yourself in a career conundrum right now, with no idea where to turn next, you’ll find your answer in their story.

    I know, I know — it might not seem relatable.

    But like Charles, you’ve been preparing for something all these years too. Like Elizabeth, you can answer the call to service too. Sure, you don’t have the royal family’s coffers behind you, but we’re all human, and we all have the ability to make the most of our lot in life.

    Think about it. Ask yourself:

    • What do I have? What are my skills? What is my training?
    • Where are the places I’ve been fortunate enough to be that have prepared me to be of service?
    • What are the experiences that have built my career and life to this point?

    Here’s a hint: The answers aren’t in your resume.

    Think about the big picture. Consider what you’ve overcome. Reflect on the things that made you who you are on a deeper level. This isn’t about job titles or tasks completed; it’s about who you’ve become in the process.

    We opened up registration for our new and improved (and sweetly priced) Now What?® Experience, where participants will do the “soul search” before the job search with our guidance and support. We close registration Tuesday at midnight eastern. You can still join us there!

  • Start With Dessert

    Start With Dessert

    We save the “best for last.” We “treat” ourselves with the satisfying pleasure of tantalizing sweets at the end of the meal. That finishing touch.

    How does our propensity for dessert relate to knowing what’s right for our lives or career?

    Dessert just feels so good as a taste sensation. Career and life satisfaction feels so good too, and we expect it to be the reward of hard work or a good decision. We experience it as a result.

    What if, instead, we interpret that sensation as a guide? What feels good is a sign to keep going in that direction.

    When clients pay handsome dollars to gain clarity by working with me, they want to go right into their analytical thinking, measuring if I can possibly be smart enough to know what they are built to do with their lives. How do I know? What will I do with them that will make them know too?

    Oof. It’s exhausting.

    There is little that is analytical about my process. It’s a process to get you to FEEL again. No deep breathing exercises, no meditation assignments nor long journaling assignments.

    Nothing wrong with those methods, but I support my clients to feel their way out of the lack of clarity through a set of questions. Then, I measure the level of BS in the answers based on how it feels to me and to them. Sound crazy? Maybe, but it works.

    You can start paying attention to how things feel for you right now. Feels good? Proceed. Feels wrong? Nothing will change that and the longer you ignore it, the worse it will get.

    Now for the murky territory: Fear. Fear feels bad. Fear can be a reaction to something that feels good too!

    It feels good to be creative (let’s just say), but fear kicks in right away that it’s not sustainable, or people will not like what you create, or you can’t make time for something not related to your current job.

    In my recent work with a very unhappy career salesperson in their 40’s, he was sure he was ready for a change until he landed on what felt right as a future direction.

    He knew it was right, the exercises we did confirmed it, his financial situation presented no obstacles to the change, BUT he was terrified. What if he failed? What if he wanted to get his job back and couldn’t? What if, what if, what if?

    Dessert was ruined by the fear of gaining weight!

    Nooooooo! Enjoy the dessert. Follow the feeling. Decide by how it feels.

    DISCLAIMER: NO GLUTTONY
  • Tips, Tricks and Truths to Working from Home

    Tips, Tricks and Truths to Working from Home

    Tips, Tricks and Truths to Working from HomeSummer is winding down as school, work and life tries to find normalcy in a changed world. As someone who has worked from home since the 90’s evolving from a sliver of space in my bedroom in the apartment I shared with my boyfriend (now 27-year husband) to having the bigger of our two home offices with three college-age kids under our roof, I’m devoting this issue to those of you who might be in varied stages of sharing your space.

    I can relate to your pain, but we have to cope and find our way.

    Here are some TRUTHS to remember:

    • Distractions are REAL and CONVENIENT (choose wisely).
    • HOME chores can wait (don’t use them to procrastinate, extra points for multi-tasking that doesn’t disrupt your work).
    • COMPROMISE will have to become your middle name.
    • WORK will take over your life like THE BLOB (make rules and set boundaries).
    • CHILDREN will take over your life like THE BLOB (they are capable of more than you ask of them).
    • PEOPLE WHO HOMESCHOOL (pre-COVID), do not do so six hours a day. 2-3 hours tops! (don’t stress and know that distance learning for six hours is unrealistic for most kids but especially elementary school and middle school).
    • LIFE IS NOT FAIR (just a reminder).
    Here are some TIPS to consider:
    • DO what you DREAD MOST first (do the hardest thing first).
    • ASK for meeting agendas (or provide them) so your time is not wasted.
    • CREATE a space for each worker/student in your home (even if you are just in separate corners).
    • DETERMINE DAILY SCHEDULES in concert with all household member (even young kids) There is less conflict when everyone knows in advance what is going on.
    • DETERMINE who needs one-on-one time to perform best and who doesn’t (your team members or kids).
    • GET ALONE time for a few minutes a day even if it means waking earlier.
    Here are some TRICKS to try:
    • AUTOMATE what you can (grocery delivery, workflow, use your technology)
    • Have kids EARN screen time or other privileges that used to be a given (delegate those chores!)
    • INCLUDE younger kids in your work (can they make copies, write a legal argument or presentation? (just to keep them busy, not for reals, silly! My daughter wrote a book when she was six while I was writing mine—gave me gaps of time to work!)
    • MULTI-TASK your down time. Yes, we all deserve to just turn off and do nothing or watch TV, but we can also fold laundry, sew on a button, pay bills or some of the other chores that don’t need to happen during the workday.

    This is no picnic but how soon we’ll be back to “normal” is anybody’s guess. We may find some new ways of working and doing school that will transcend COVID time and become a good thing in the long run.

    I have no doubt you are creative and resourceful. I hope these ideas help.

    P.S. I’ve avoided suggesting too many things that require high costs. I know there are people hiring their own teacher in a pod or paying for all in-home services or deliveries. Not all have those avenues available. Where can you join forces with someone who could use more help? How do we find solutions that work for everybody?

  • This Will Be the Year I Enjoy the Holidays

    Every year, I set out in mid-November to “enjoy the holiday season.” To me, that means not rushing, stressing, and feeling pulled to complete so many obligations. Instead, I imagine watching as many corny Christmas movies as I want, wrapping gifts with time to spare, being done with shopping before the stores swell with holiday shoppers, and really relishing the time with friends and family. Well, hahahaha (or should I say Ho Ho Ho?) It never happens.

    BUT…

    This year, I’m on track to really do this.

    Running for office left me with a very open calendar in November and December because I didn’t know if I’d be training for taking office, finding staff for a January inauguration, and setting up my life for this new honored position. With the results not being what I’d hoped, I had November and December available to me like never before.

    It seems so obvious, but what was wrong all those other times, (and even what was wrong with my coaching advice for years) was that being concrete about where one could say “no” is just not enough. It’s enough to help enjoy the holi-DAY, a special event here or there, but not enough to create a season that is really fun and joyful.

    This Will Be The Year I Enjoy the Holidays by Laura Berman FortgangShopping early enough to avoid crowds, taking my time with all the things that used to be last minute, really indulging in connecting with people who want to get together before the year is out, and having the time to plan and strategize the new year has been like pressing “pause” on the usual holiday chaos. It’s truly a pleasure.

    This year’s schedule was an unintended bonus, and I now know what it feels like to have the holiday season I’ve always intended. Once we feel it, we have sense memory. Our body remembers, and so will our cognitive memory. We can’t unknow what we now know!

    So, if I were to make this repeatable and shareable so you can do it too, I’d say:

    • Move a lot of your business planning to early fall.
    • Keep your days light in November and December (allows for spontaneity).
    • Take advantage of stores being open very early (before work or right after school drop off!)
    • Bake your goodies early and freeze them.
    • On any night that you cook, make double so you’ve saved yourself time another night.
    • Decorate early too. It feels like holiday longer!
    • Chill. Just ratchet down the holiday hysteria and give up perfection … it ain’t happening!

    I hope there’s still time to put this in place for the last two weeks of the year, but if not, start planning for the next. It takes that much intentionality. I promise it’s worth it.

    And while you’re at it, planning your new year should include our Now What? Home Study Kit if you are up for a career shift.

  • I Need to Make a Change, But I Don’t Have Time

    par·a·dox
    /ˈperəˌdäks/
    noun
    noun: paradox; plural noun: paradoxes
    1. a seemingly absurd or self-contradictory statement or proposition that when investigated or explained may prove to be well founded or true.

    Change can’t happen without attention. Unless you just want to be on the receiving end of change . . . the stuff you can’t do anything to control. If you want to be navigating your own career, you’ll have to give time to the development of strategy and the execution.

    I Need to Make a Change, But I Don't Have Time

    Life is overwhelming. Careers demand more and more of our being. And still, if you don’t like how it’s going, you have to MAKE the time to go back to the drawing board.

    How to make time:

    • Wake up thirty minutes early
    • Take one night a week that is sacred and cannot be scheduled
    • Drop one obligation that you’ve been meaning to give up anyway
    • Say no to one unnecessary meeting a week
    • Cook enough food for two meals every time so you can save nights of cooking
    • Outsource or delegate one household chore

    What to do with that time:

    • Research options you’ve been considering
    • Make phone calls to network/meet up with people you’ve been meaning to sit with
    • Increase your exposure in your industry
    • Read a book that will guide you to decide what’s next (hint, hint: Now What? 90 Days to a New Life Direction)
    • Redraft your resume
    • Send out said resume
    • Start the business you’ve been dreaming about as a side hustle
    • Test the viability of an idea you’ve had

    Please don’t tell me you need a change, but you don’t have time. You’ve got time for what you want to have time for. Now, you just have to want a change more.

    Let us know how we can help.