Now What?® Coaching

Category: Job Change

How to Start a Network from Scratch

When I started my coaching practice, I didn’t have a network.

I was an actress and a waitress with friends in the theater world, but I didn’t know anyone in business — nobody whatsoever to pay me for what I was trained to do.

In other words, I started from scratch. Maybe you can relate.

Things were tougher back then without social media, but there was also less noise. Even today, building a following isn’t the same as building a network you can tap into.

So what did I do? And what do I recommend my clients do now — whether starting a business or navigating a career?

1. Get out there!

Hiding behind your screen won’t cut it. You need to get to know people, look them in the eye, and spend some time together. (Introverts, this includes you!)
Meet people in person. Join industry groups, clubs, masterminds, or religious and civic organizations. Attend events, conferences, or workshops. The goal is to get face-to-face and let them get to know you.

2. Don’t just show up; really show up.

Be a giver. Contribute your time and skills.
Volunteer, serve on committees, and sign up to be a speaker. Find opportunities to be seen, interact with people, and make it known that you’re reliable, trustworthy, and have something valuable to offer.

3. Connect wisely.

Use social media strategically. On LinkedIn, focus on building connections with people who could benefit from your expertise and whose knowledge can help you grow.

Will these tips immediately lead to clients or job offers? Probably not. But everyone knows somebody, and this is how you get started.

It’s never too late, and you’re never too old. But the sooner you begin, the better prepared you’ll be when you need a network.

It’s not about who you know; it’s about who knows you. Get out there and make it happen.

January 23, 2025
The Great Post-Holiday Reset
We’ve all hit the ground running this week, back to work, ready to take on the new year with gusto … right? Okay, maybe not.

The holidays are a welcome break from business as usual. But let’s face it, the season’s festivities rarely offer much respite. Even if you had a chance to do a little hibernating, rolling out of bed and into the swing of things can be tough.

With the merriment over and the downtime behind us, you may even find yourself with a case of the post-holiday blues.

But we have stuff to do — obstacles to tackle, dreams to chase, and goals to achieve in 2025. It’s time to go after what you’re here to do!

We can’t let the winter doldrums sabotage our plans.

Here’s what I don’t recommend: New Year’s resolutions. As a coach, I can tell you they don’t work. Artificial fluff. Temporary distractions.

Instead, I suggest you do this:
1. 1. Pick a “back to normal” date. Accept that being back to work doesn’t mean being back to normal. When are you really going to kick things off? Be honest (and gentle) with yourself.
  2. Keep the party going. Add some festivities for this month. Gather with friends, go see a show, or take a little day trip. Give yourself something to look forward to in January.
  3. Face your finances. Did the holiday magic go over budget or add some debt? Don’t let it weigh on you; put a plan in place to tackle it.
  4. Get some sun. Even if it’s cold outside, the Vitamin D will do you good. Pick up an artificial sunlight lamp if you have to. I keep mine right on my desk.
  5. Move your body. You don’t need to hit the overcrowded gym this month or do anything extreme. Make it fun.
  6. Connect with people. Loneliness can get the best of us in the winter if we let it, but we’re social animals (even you introverts!) Make the effort to get together with friends and loved ones and meet new people.
  7. Give yourself grace. Acknowledge the post-holiday winter blues if you have them, and remember that this is temporary. Spring will be here before you know it.
In other words, the key to a good post-holiday reset is good self-care. You’ve got this! I look forward to seeing what you accomplish this year.
January 12, 2025
The Joy of Strategic Laziness

Why Dropping Your Resolutions Might Be Your Best Move.

The statistics are in: most New Year’s resolutions have already fallen by the wayside or will do so by next week. And I’m here to tell you that’s not just okay – it might be exactly what you need.

Why? Because resolutions often stem from external pressures and “shoulds” rather than genuine personal motivation. We pile on ambitious goals simply because January demands it, creating a recipe for frustration and disappointment. But what if your apparent “laziness” is actually your internal wisdom speaking?

Consider this: humans are naturally efficiency-seeking creatures. What we label as laziness often reflects our brain’s intuitive drive to conserve energy and focus on what truly matters. When we fight against this natural tendency, we waste precious mental and emotional resources on goals that may not align with our authentic desires.

The problem isn’t your reluctance to wake up at 5 AM for that workout program you hate. The problem is forcing yourself to follow someone else’s blueprint for success. True motivation emerges when we align our actions with our genuine interests and values.

Take Sarah, a client who beat herself up for years about not maintaining a rigid morning routine. When she finally gave herself permission to “be lazy,” something unexpected happened. She stopped forcing herself to be a morning person and discovered she did her best work in the evening. Her productivity soared once she worked with her natural rhythms instead of against them.

By embracing your so-called laziness, you might initially find yourself doing less. That’s normal. Think of it as a detox period from the constant pressure to optimize every moment of your life. As you shed the weight of external expectations, you create space to discover what genuinely energizes you.

The magic happens when you start distinguishing between activities that drain you and those that light you up. That’s when authentic motivation emerges – not from shoulds, but from genuine desire.

Ready to harness the power of strategic laziness? Here are five action steps to get started:

1. Conduct a “Should Audit”: List all your current goals and obligations. For each item, ask: “Would I do this if no one else cared?” Delete or delegate anything that doesn’t align with your authentic desires.

2. Embrace Strategic Procrastination: Before tackling a task, wait 24 hours. Often, the urgency fades, revealing whether it truly matters. Sometimes, problems solve themselves when we don’t rush to fix them.

3. Design Your Minimum Viable Day: Instead of an overwhelming to-do list, identify the 2-3 activities that truly move the needle in your life. Focus your energy there and let the rest go.

4. Schedule “Lazy Time”: Block out periods for intentional idleness. Use this time to daydream, nap, or simply exist without purpose. Watch how your creativity and clarity improve.

5. Follow Your Energy: Track when you naturally feel most productive and motivated. Build your schedule around these peaks instead of forcing yourself into someone else’s ideal routine.

Remember, the goal isn’t to become permanently inactive. It’s about releasing the guilt around rest and recognizing that your natural inclinations often point toward what’s truly important in your life.

When you stop fighting your lazy tendencies and start working with them, you’ll likely find yourself more productive in the areas that genuinely matter to you. The key is distinguishing between mindless procrastination and your inner wisdom telling you to redirect your energy.

So this year, instead of battling your nature, try embracing it. Your laziness might just be the compass pointing you toward a more authentic and fulfilling life.

January 5, 2025
You Can Change for Good
If you’ve been in my orbit awhile, you might know I’m a musical theater nerd.

Broadway was my background before becoming a coach, and the bright lights still bring me joy and inspiration, even when the production is a movie adaptation, like the new Wicked I just saw this week.

As you can imagine, I love a good show tune! There’s one in Wicked (saved for Part Two of the movie) where the two witches of Oz acknowledge the transformational power of their friendship by singing, “Because I knew you, I have been changed for good…”

Changed for the better. Changed forever.

It speaks to the magic and possibility of bringing about change in ourselves and the world around us, at any given moment.

We all have the opportunity to use our lives for good.

Change is happening, and we’re heading into the unknown. But we’re still in charge of where our focus goes for good, for the better and forever.

When things feel outside your control, you can always choose good — to be good, to do good, to create good, and to feel good.
You can:
- Be good to yourself.
  Take good care of your body, mind, and soul.
- Do good.
  Reach out to people in your life to share a good word and remind them they matter.
- Create good.
  In your work, your family, charitable giving, and community.
- Feel good.
  Practice gratitude. Make meaningful connections. Experience joy and peace.
No matter what we face, we all have the chance to be changed — for good!
November 24, 2024
Which Wolf Will Win?

Which Wolf Will Win?

We’ve all been dealing with the news of what’s happening in the world around us lately, and it hasn’t always been easy.

Some are pleased, devastated, celebrating, sulking, some victorious, defeated, encouraged, and some are weary.

Very few are indifferent. We’re swimming in a sea of duality.

We have light, we have dark. Good, bad. Love, fear. The push and pull feels like it’s spinning us in circles, not knowing where to turn.

How do we get through this?

I suggest learning to hold both. Accept duality.

The conversations I’ve been hearing remind me of a lesson shared in a Native American parable, perfect for this moment — a story attributed to the Cherokee people called “The Two Wolves.”

A grandfather tells his grandson of two wolves existing within him.

One wolf is filled with negative emotions — anger and hate, wishing harm upon his enemies.

The other wolf represents the positive — joy, serenity, and doing no harm.

The young listener asked the elder which wolf wins.

His answer: “The one I feed.”

The way forward is to decide which wolf to feed.

Will you head toward the light? Will you embrace your community and do what’s right?

Duality will always exist. We can all make our best attempt to carry both: darkness and light, good and evil, fear and love.

Whatever the situation, whether you’re reveling in great news or reeling from a kick in the gut, try embracing duality and deciding which wolf to feed.

You don’t have to betray your values; look deeply within.

What’s next for each of us?

As for me, I’m pretty quiet right now weighing how to continue to feed joy and to strive to spread love in everything I do.

November 17, 2024
Why It’s Time to Unmask

Want to know one of the best ways (by far!) to improve your life, career, and business?

Stop faking it.

Stop putting on an act. Pretending to be someone you’re not isn’t working as well as you think . . .

We’ve been conditioned to believe people will like us better if they perceive us a certain way — successful, rich, sophisticated, charismatic, funny.

Sometimes we think the only way they’ll accept, hire, or promote us is if we share the same interests, hold the same beliefs, and agree on the topic at hand, so we go along with whatever it is to get along. People choose everything from clothing and hairstyles to cars and hobbies just to fit in.

We bend, twist and wear a mask — all in an effort to show up as the most well-received version of ourselves. And the most frightening thing about this mask . . . is taking it off!

Unmasking is shedding your protective gear, making the real you more vulnerable to judgment, criticism, and disapproval.

If the idea of showing up as your true authentic self terrifies you, you’re not alone. Letting your guard down and letting people see you as you can be scary. What if you get rejected? Ignored? Laughed at? Ostracized?

The fear is real, and it isn’t something that typically resolves on its own. If you’re struggling to show up authentically, try —

Journaling about it; put your feelings down on paper.

Talking about it with someone you trust; open up and connect.

Working with a therapist to get to the bottom of what’s holding YOU back.

Dropping the mask isn’t easy, but it’s worth it.

When you live as your authentic self in everything you do, life is less stressful. You’ll realize you were just wasting tons of time and effort putting on an act.

Only you can be you. YOU is what enhances your personal brand like nothing else.

Things like wearing bold, colorful glasses, having a nose ring, and stepping on stage to speak in sneakers are ME. Keeping it real and saying what needs to be said is ME. Showing up as my authentic self boosts my confidence and helps me stand out. What’s YOU?

Be seen, Heard, and the person that the world needs.

You were designed perfectly just the way you are, and your contributions to the world matter. We’re all waiting to experience more of YOU!

November 10, 2024