Category: Life Lessons

Have you ever told yourself you’re going to do something (again and again) only not to do it? In other words – making an empty promise.

For two years, I struggled to keep my commitment to exercise, but I can finally say I’m doing it. Seven weeks in, it’s a habit. I got tired of selling myself empty promises.

Empty promises – whether to yourself or someone else – are a surefire path to disappointment.

Maybe you’ve been meaning to make that sales call. Or finally take your job search seriously. Or send the weekly newsletter you keep talking about. Maybe you keep saying you’ll read something inspiring at night instead of doomscrolling. Whatever it is, every delay is another promise left hanging. And it creates a ripple of disappointment – mostly in yourself.

What’s the fix?
Start keeping promises to yourself.
Easier said than done, sure. But worth every bit of effort.

You can’t always control what others promise or deliver. But you can control how you show up for yourself. Others following through becomes nothing more than icing on the cake, rather than what you rely on for sustenance.

So why is it so hard? Because we tend to wait until we’re “in the mood.”

What we seem to forget is that doing “the thing” changes our mood. Action creates the momentum we crave, not the other way around. Once you’re in motion, feeling stuck disappears.

Don’t wait to feel motivated. Move first and meet the motivation where it already is – in progress.

That’s when you start seeing results…
The sales call turns into a dream client.
The tailored résumé lands the interview.
The newsletter connects with your next big opportunity.
The book you picked up reignites your inspiration.
Momentum builds. Promises get kept.

Remember, your mood shouldn’t dictate your actions. Your actions will shape your mood.

Procrastination and avoidance are addictive because they bring temporary relief.

Cringing at the thought of pitching a potential sponsor for your podcast?
Anxious about the networking event on your calendar?
Apprehensive about committing to running a half-marathon next spring?

Skipping the pitch, ignoring your calendar, and clicking away from the registration form. Whew…*wipes forehead*

Avoidance feels like a sedative: Quick, easy, and always available. You’ll regret it later, but the short-term comfort keeps you coming back.

Here’s the twist: Choosing “easy” can still move you forward. Pick the easiest hard. Start small. Break your big goal into the ittiest bittiest possible step. Then do just that.

I started with 20 minutes of exercise. Small, but challenging. Before I knew it, 30 minutes felt easy.

You know what’s harder than doing 20 minutes today? Looking back a year from now and still stuck, still waiting, still sitting in the same spot.

I’ve been there. It’s worse.
Pick your hard.

Will it be the hard that gets you closer to your goals?
Or the hard that keeps you stuck in place?

Don’t make empty promises. Fill them with action!

Here’s something I’ve been noticing a lot lately with clients, friends, family, neighbors, and strangers in the checkout line at T.J.Maxx: They’re afraid to make a move because they don’t trust themselves to make the right call.

Honestly? I get it.

We’re living in a world where it’s becoming increasingly difficult to know whom or what to trust. The news. Our employers. Political leaders. Technology. (Did you see that the latest issue of Vogue featured an AI-generated model in its Guess ad?)

Even our own careers and businesses feel like shifting sand.

Here’s the problem: ​
​The one person you should be able to trust is you. And most people don’t.

Unquestionably, second-guessing has become so normalized you probably don’t even notice it. How many times have you done it just today?

“I wonder if following up with that prospect tomorrow is too soon.”
“Should I use this font or that one?”
“Will this example still resonate with my audience, or is it outdated?”

I remember being in my 20s, standing in the cereal aisle, so paralyzed between Cheerios and granola that I called my mom for help.

While these may seem like little decisions, but that pattern of outsourcing our choices runs deep and it goes far.

I’ve coached brilliant, accomplished professionals who stayed in jobs for years past their expiration date because their spouse, their parents, or even their friends saw them a certain way.

“You’ve always wanted to be an engineer!”
“You’re the best teacher I know. You can’t just walk away from that!”

Unfortunately, they stayed stuck, not because they lacked confidence, but because they lacked clarity.

You know what I’ve figured out? Confidence doesn’t come first. Clarity does.

Clarity gives you direction. It acts as your True North, your inner GPS. When you know who you are and what matters most, you stop fearing the”wrong” decision. You know you’ll course-correct if needed.

How do you find that clarity? ​
​You start with two things: Your needs and your values.

Not surface-level needs. I’m referring to emotional needs, such as the desire for creative expression, the need for purpose, and the longing for meaningful connection.

Your values are the non-negotiables that shape how you want to live: justice, integrity, family, growth.

These become your scaffolding. Your decision-making structure. The more clearly you can name them, the more confident you’ll feel – not because someone told you what to do, but because you finally started listening to yourself.

If you’ve been second-guessing, pause. Tune in.​
What do you need? What do you value?
That’s your path forward.