Now What?® Coaching

Tag: community call

  • Now What Q&A: Dealing with Ambivalence

    Today’s question comes from a member of our community who lives in Westchester, NY and who participated in a recent Community Call.  It’s question mark now what 2 answered by Laura Berman Fortgang.

    Question: I have the right job in terms of my role and the skills I’m using.  I just want to do it for a different organization.  It’s been eight years and I feel like I’ve out-stayed where I am.  I’m chomping at the bit to get out but still have one foot in the world of “This works for me” and the other in “I’ve got to get out of here”.  I think underneath my own ambivalence is fear.  I’ve been working hard to make a change but I have no results.  When I get close to taking bigger steps, I get scared.  And I know the fear is an old one from long ago that’s not even relevant anymore; it doesn’t match my current reality.

    Answer:

    You know yourself well and it’s true that fear often disguises as ambivalence.  In Now What? we talk about old motivations that you might be using to stay safe and it sounds like what you’re describing.  The good news is that you get to choose a new motivation that works for you now.  Ask yourself:  Who am I waiting for permission from?  

    To keep moving yourself forward, you’ll need support.  You need people to cheer you on as you take risks and move in the new direction.  Don’t be afraid to lean on them or to ask for help.  Remember, too, that even if you step out and conclude that “maybe this isn’t for me,” you will still have answered it for yourself.

  • Now What? Q &A: Help Others to Help You

    Today’s question came from a caller from New Jersey during a recent Community Call and is answered by Ginny Kravitz, Deputy Editor.

    Question:

    I’m working my way through the Now What? program and am on Chapter 11.  Can you elaborate on what it means to “correct the behavior” of people in your life who are trying to be supportive but say things that aren’t necessarily helpful? 

    Answer:

    Chapter 11 is about setting up a support team, something that can make all the difference when you are getting ready to make a big change in your life.  A movie scene from Jerry Maguire comes to mind when Jerry says to Rod, “Help me help you.”   One way you can help people who are on your support team to help you is by getting specific and informing them of exactly what would be helpful vs. not so helpful.  This can also mean asking someone to stop doing certain things.

    For example, if you have a friend who likes to jump right in with advice and what you really need is for someone to listen without trying to fix things for you, you’ll need to tell your friend.  You can say: Linda, sometimes when I share a challenge I’m having, rather than solving it for me, what I’m really looking for is for you to just listen because that helps me process what I’m saying.  Is that something you’d be willing to do?

    It’s important to note that some people will respond positively to your requests and others might not.  At that point, you can assess whether that person is really someone whom you can count as part of your support system.

  • Now What? Q &A – The Golden Thread in your Life Story

    Today’s question came from a caller from Philadelphia during a recent Community Call and is answered by: Laura Berman Fortgang.  

    Question:

    I’ve been working in the HR field since graduating college and have been at my current company for eleven years.  Recently a boss whom I considered a toxic influence has moved on and things are a better, more status quo.  I’m trying to figure out a good transition job to see if I can still enjoy HR before deciding if I want to step out of the field entirely.  I’m working with the Now What book but I’m struggling with the Life Story exercise.  I’m stuck in the analysis of it and can’t find what you call the Golden Thread.                                                                                       

    Answer:

    Your life story is what formed you and there are themes there.  You’re probably working way too hard at analyzing the story and it would be helpful to have someone else look at it.  For instance:

    • What were the things you excelled at in grade school and high school?  
    • What did you get accolades for in your younger years?
    • What were your dreams when you were younger?

    In answering Laura’s questions, these are some of the things that were mentioned:  traveling, going to new places and having new experiences, discussing things, and asking questions.

    Laura: All the things you’ve mentioned have the theme of discovery in them.  You like exploring and digging for answers like an archaeologist.  This is a “golden thread” for you and one of the overriding themes in your story.  Traveling might be a good way to get back in touch with that part of you and take some time to remember that feeling you are looking for in work – that discovery sense.  Even if it’s not far away travel, it will be good for you.  So this is one of the clues your life story is showing you.  As you consider your options, look at them with the frame of:  Where can I tap into this discovery mode?

    Our caller was instantly lit up and encouraged.  She had never noticed the theme in all the things she liked to do.  She saw how that was missing in her work and why she’d grown restless.

  • Now What? Q &A: Resume when changing fields

    Intro:

    Today’s question came from a caller from Alabama during a recent Community Call and is answered by: Laura Berman Fortgang.  

    Question:

    For a person who is totally changing fields and going to school for the new field, how do you recommend changing your resume so you can begin working in your new career even though you don’t have experience yet?  For example, I’m going to school for computer networking but have done different work up to now.

    Answer:

    Resumes are indeed an art and while you certainly do not want to lie, it is perfectly fine to play up different areas even though it may be a bit of a stretch.  So, in your case, you might look back over your work history and note where you did anything with computers at various jobs you’ve held.  You can emphasize your past experience in a different way.  For example, say you worked in retail but used the computer for inventory days and were in charge of maintaining weekly reports on-line.  Since it wasn’t the primary responsibility of your job, you might not immediately think to mention it, however now that you want to highlight your computer expertise, you could also mention that you were in charge of electronic data collection.  It’s important to remain truthful and the point is to direct the person reading your resume to what you want to do now.  We know of one individual who obtained a job that was triple his former pay after sprucing up his resume and re-finessing his job title from Librarian to Information Management Specialist. 

    As you update your resume, make sure it demonstrates the level of professionalism that has followed you throughout your career.  Also, anything you can do in your new field right now while you’re studying —even if it’s non-paid— will show experience.