Now What?® Coaching

Category: Inspirational Quotes

  • Are You Projecting Again?

    Are You Projecting Again?

    I’ve noticed a pattern with clients lately: They’re doing a lot of projecting.

    With fear and anxiety running high, it’s no surprise that projecting is rampant. People are assigning their own thoughts or feelings to others in an attempt to avoid emotional distress. It’s a coping mechanism.

    No matter what’s going on in the world, everyone has their own “stuff” that gets projected into conversations or situations:

    • Anticipating what a client might say.
    • Making assumptions about how a coworker will react.
    • Suspecting what a prospect is thinking or feeling.
    • Presupposing the outcome of a sales call.
    • Inferring the meaning behind a colleague’s remark.
    • Speculating on the intent behind a social media post, an offhand comment, or even a facial expression.

    It’s all based on our past experiences, emotions, values, cultural lens, current state of mind, and much more — rooted in the subconscious. When things get scary and the stakes feel higher, projecting gets kicked up a notch.

    Here’s how it looks —

    Going into a consult: “How would I respond if a coach quoted me this price?”

    Launching a marketing campaign: “How would I feel if I got this email?”

    Setting boundaries with a client or manager: “How would I react if someone asked this of me?”

    Then you assume that the other person would react the same way.

    “I can’t afford the package I’m selling, so I better lower my rate; nobody will pay this amount.”

    “I don’t want to be annoying, so I’m going to send fewer emails, despite what the data says.”

    “My boss only respects those who can handle tight turnaround times. I’ll keep staying late to meet last-minute requests.”

    But here’s the thing: Your assumption usually isn’t true. Just because you feel a certain way doesn’t mean the other person does.

    You’re stopping yourself from taking action and selling yourself short — for no sound reason. Get it? You’re making stuff up!

    How do you correct this?

    1. Start by identifying your thoughts and feelings, and what the other person is most likely thinking and feeling. Where is the line? Sort it out.

    2. Let other people be responsible for their own reactions.
    Stop doing it for them.

    3. Check in.
    If you don’t know, ask. Be direct.

    For example, are you wondering what your prospects might be willing to pay? Remember, it doesn’t matter what you would pay, only what they would pay. Don’t worry about undercharging. Don’t waste your time working on a proposal with pricing that far exceeds their expectations. Ask about their budget and take action based on their response.

    Now I want you to think about:

    Where do you stop yourself because you’re projecting? What is it costing you?

  • How to Get Better at Operating in a Crisis

    How to Get Better at Operating in a Crisis

    Don’t take this the wrong way, but we are in crisis.

    What I mean by this is, as human beings, we’re in crisis — often.

    I’m not trying to bum you out here, just facing facts. The human condition includes the positives and negatives of the human experience.

    The reality is we’re in trouble sometimes. At times (like now!), it seems we’re in a lot of trouble.

    Lately, you may feel like you’re seeing a crisis everywhere you look — in your personal life, the lives of your loved ones, in politics, on the news: storms, wildfires, plane crashes, leadership decisions, family emergencies, business mishaps, technological glitches, economic downturns . . . you name it!

    You might be thinking, “Tell me something I don’t know!” So here goes . . .

    We have to get better at crisis management. Not just the head honchos in charge, but every single one of us. We can’t just expect “somebody” to do something. How?

    1. Start by dealing with what’s REAL. There is no need to catastrophize and make the crisis bigger than it already is by projecting the “worst case scenario” into the atmosphere. What’s actually happening right in front of you? (there is plenty of REAL bad stuff–just don’t make it worse.)
    2. Focus on what you CAN do. What can you control? That’s where you look; it’s where you take action.
    3. Keep things in perspective. Remaining calm matters. We don’t do our best thinking in a chaotic brain.

    Take one thing at a time. One day at a time. That is not to make light of anything that is going on personally for you or in the US and the world.

    Use your imagination for solutions, not for worsening the problem.

  • What Makes an A-Lister?

    What Makes an A-Lister?

    If you want to win at business, bringing your “A-Game” isn’t enough anymore. You have to be an A-Lister.

    This isn’t Hollywood, of course. You don’t need the star power of Julia Roberts or George Clooney, but you must be a star in your field.

    Top-tier. A cut above. Premier.

    I know, I know . . . it can feel like a lot to ask of yourself, especially if you’re not one for the spotlight.

    This isn’t about achieving celebrity status, but the right people should be asking for you by name.

    Here’s what becoming an A-Lister in your field means:

    • You’ve established a reputation — for results!
    • You’ve created something people want, and they keep coming back for it.
    • You’re known as the go-to person for the thing you do.

    Think about it. A-Listers don’t have to audition for roles anymore. Writers, directors, and producers had their names in mind from the earliest stages of a film.

    A-Listers are bankable, considered a sure thing.

    I want YOU to be the one who comes to mind – here’s what it takes:

    1. Identify the results you create. What is your best service, program, or strategy in your area of expertise?
    2. Nail your messaging about those results. Make it compelling.
    3. Get visible. Speak in person or online, or both. Let people see you!
    4. Establish authority. Write a book. Teach a course. Position yourself as the expert.
    5. Lift as you rise. Bring people up with you by coaching, mentoring, and collaborating.

    Becoming an A-Lister is how your inbox fills with opportunities. It’s how you get the phone to ring. It’s the way to reach your goals and dreams.

  • Does Life Keep Lifeing at You?

    Does Life Keep Lifeing at You?

    Do you ever feel like you can’t catch a break?
    Like one thing after another keeps going wrong?

    As soon as you recover from a disaster, hardship, or challenge, something else threatens to throw you off track again.

    Life keeps lifeing at you.

    Over the past month, I’ve been dealing with —
    A child hospitalized with a terrible autoimmune disease.
    A sibling affected by the California fires.
    Friends and family impacted by all sorts of chaotic events.

    And I know I’m not the only one. Life has been lifeing at me, at many of my clients, and people I speak with daily. There’s a lot going on!

    But no matter what’s going on in your life and the world around you, the show must go on.

    We have work to do. Businesses to run. Families to care for. Households to manage.

    You’re not alone if you ever feel like you have no idea how you get through it all.

    Here’s what I suggest.

    1. Surrender

    Surrendering doesn’t mean lying down, rolling over, and letting life walk all over you. It means accepting that sometimes there’s not a darn thing you can do to stop what’s happening. Trouble has come knocking, and you have to face it.

    2. Set Priorities

    You can only do so much on any given day. Be highly selective about what gets your attention and effort. Focus only on one thing at a time — the thing that will make the most significant difference.

    3. Practice Self Care

    Crisis mode isn’t the time for spa days, but you must take care of yourself. Set boundaries. For example, preserve your energy and time by limiting status updates to concerned loved ones to once daily.

    If you’re dealing with difficult stuff right now, my heart is with you.

    Whether grappling with the hectic pace of every day or facing tragic devastation (or both!), life can be hard on the nervous system.

    Successful coping requires calm.

    Remember: Surrender. Set priorities. Practice self-care.

  • How to Start a Network from Scratch

    How to Start a Network from Scratch

    When I started my coaching practice, I didn’t have a network.

    I was an actress and a waitress with friends in the theater world, but I didn’t know anyone in business — nobody whatsoever to pay me for what I was trained to do.

    In other words, I started from scratch. Maybe you can relate.

    Things were tougher back then without social media, but there was also less noise. Even today, building a following isn’t the same as building a network you can tap into.

    So what did I do? And what do I recommend my clients do now — whether starting a business or navigating a career?

    1. Get out there!

    Hiding behind your screen won’t cut it. You need to get to know people, look them in the eye, and spend some time together. (Introverts, this includes you!)
    Meet people in person. Join industry groups, clubs, masterminds, or religious and civic organizations. Attend events, conferences, or workshops. The goal is to get face-to-face and let them get to know you.

    2. Don’t just show up; really show up.

    Be a giver. Contribute your time and skills.
    Volunteer, serve on committees, and sign up to be a speaker. Find opportunities to be seen, interact with people, and make it known that you’re reliable, trustworthy, and have something valuable to offer.

    3. Connect wisely.

    Use social media strategically. On LinkedIn, focus on building connections with people who could benefit from your expertise and whose knowledge can help you grow.

    Will these tips immediately lead to clients or job offers? Probably not. But everyone knows somebody, and this is how you get started.

    It’s never too late, and you’re never too old. But the sooner you begin, the better prepared you’ll be when you need a network.

    It’s not about who you know; it’s about who knows you. Get out there and make it happen.

  • The Great Post-Holiday Reset

    The Great Post-Holiday Reset

    We’ve all hit the ground running this week, back to work, ready to take on the new year with gusto … right? Okay, maybe not.

    The holidays are a welcome break from business as usual. But let’s face it, the season’s festivities rarely offer much respite. Even if you had a chance to do a little hibernating, rolling out of bed and into the swing of things can be tough.

    With the merriment over and the downtime behind us, you may even find yourself with a case of the post-holiday blues.

    But we have stuff to do — obstacles to tackle, dreams to chase, and goals to achieve in 2025. It’s time to go after what you’re here to do!

    We can’t let the winter doldrums sabotage our plans.

    Here’s what I don’t recommend: New Year’s resolutions. As a coach, I can tell you they don’t work. Artificial fluff. Temporary distractions.

    Instead, I suggest you do this:The Great Post-Holiday Reset by Laura Berman Fortgang

      1. Pick a “back to normal” date. Accept that being back to work doesn’t mean being back to normal. When are you really going to kick things off? Be honest (and gentle) with yourself.
      2. Keep the party going. Add some festivities for this month. Gather with friends, go see a show, or take a little day trip. Give yourself something to look forward to in January.
      3. Face your finances. Did the holiday magic go over budget or add some debt? Don’t let it weigh on you; put a plan in place to tackle it.
      4. Get some sun. Even if it’s cold outside, the Vitamin D will do you good. Pick up an artificial sunlight lamp if you have to. I keep mine right on my desk.
      5. Move your body. You don’t need to hit the overcrowded gym this month or do anything extreme. Make it fun.
      6. Connect with people. Loneliness can get the best of us in the winter if we let it, but we’re social animals (even you introverts!) Make the effort to get together with friends and loved ones and meet new people.
      7. Give yourself grace. Acknowledge the post-holiday winter blues if you have them, and remember that this is temporary. Spring will be here before you know it.
    In other words, the key to a good post-holiday reset is good self-care. You’ve got this! I look forward to seeing what you accomplish this year.