Now What?® Coaching

Category: Job Satisfaction

Which Wolf Will Win?

Which Wolf Will Win?

We’ve all been dealing with the news of what’s happening in the world around us lately, and it hasn’t always been easy.

Some are pleased, devastated, celebrating, sulking, some victorious, defeated, encouraged, and some are weary.

Very few are indifferent. We’re swimming in a sea of duality.

We have light, we have dark. Good, bad. Love, fear. The push and pull feels like it’s spinning us in circles, not knowing where to turn.

How do we get through this?

I suggest learning to hold both. Accept duality.

The conversations I’ve been hearing remind me of a lesson shared in a Native American parable, perfect for this moment — a story attributed to the Cherokee people called “The Two Wolves.”

A grandfather tells his grandson of two wolves existing within him.

One wolf is filled with negative emotions — anger and hate, wishing harm upon his enemies.

The other wolf represents the positive — joy, serenity, and doing no harm.

The young listener asked the elder which wolf wins.

His answer: “The one I feed.”

The way forward is to decide which wolf to feed.

Will you head toward the light? Will you embrace your community and do what’s right?

Duality will always exist. We can all make our best attempt to carry both: darkness and light, good and evil, fear and love.

Whatever the situation, whether you’re reveling in great news or reeling from a kick in the gut, try embracing duality and deciding which wolf to feed.

You don’t have to betray your values; look deeply within.

What’s next for each of us?

As for me, I’m pretty quiet right now weighing how to continue to feed joy and to strive to spread love in everything I do.

November 17, 2024
Why It’s Time to Unmask

Want to know one of the best ways (by far!) to improve your life, career, and business?

Stop faking it.

Stop putting on an act. Pretending to be someone you’re not isn’t working as well as you think . . .

We’ve been conditioned to believe people will like us better if they perceive us a certain way — successful, rich, sophisticated, charismatic, funny.

Sometimes we think the only way they’ll accept, hire, or promote us is if we share the same interests, hold the same beliefs, and agree on the topic at hand, so we go along with whatever it is to get along. People choose everything from clothing and hairstyles to cars and hobbies just to fit in.

We bend, twist and wear a mask — all in an effort to show up as the most well-received version of ourselves. And the most frightening thing about this mask . . . is taking it off!

Unmasking is shedding your protective gear, making the real you more vulnerable to judgment, criticism, and disapproval.

If the idea of showing up as your true authentic self terrifies you, you’re not alone. Letting your guard down and letting people see you as you can be scary. What if you get rejected? Ignored? Laughed at? Ostracized?

The fear is real, and it isn’t something that typically resolves on its own. If you’re struggling to show up authentically, try —

Journaling about it; put your feelings down on paper.

Talking about it with someone you trust; open up and connect.

Working with a therapist to get to the bottom of what’s holding YOU back.

Dropping the mask isn’t easy, but it’s worth it.

When you live as your authentic self in everything you do, life is less stressful. You’ll realize you were just wasting tons of time and effort putting on an act.

Only you can be you. YOU is what enhances your personal brand like nothing else.

Things like wearing bold, colorful glasses, having a nose ring, and stepping on stage to speak in sneakers are ME. Keeping it real and saying what needs to be said is ME. Showing up as my authentic self boosts my confidence and helps me stand out. What’s YOU?

Be seen, Heard, and the person that the world needs.

You were designed perfectly just the way you are, and your contributions to the world matter. We’re all waiting to experience more of YOU!

November 10, 2024
Are You Playing to Win or Playing Not to Lose?
I’m working with a C-suite executive at a mid-sized company, and the organization is going through some changes. Given his position, my client is privy to what’s happening and savvy enough to see the writing on the wall — what’s coming down the pike doesn’t look good, and his days may be numbered.

We agreed that it’s time to start exploring other opportunities. And that’s when it became clear that his confidence was shaken.

“Maybe I should target VP roles,” he said. “Perhaps a senior director position at a bigger company makes sense. Should I step out of leadership and go into consulting? I think I should cast a wide net.”

Here we go again, I thought. I’m never surprised but always disappointed when this happens.

I’m sitting across from a brilliant, driven, highly-accomplished C-suite executive, and just because his employer is taking an unexpected turn, he’s suddenly questioning his status and worth.

So I asked him: “Are you playing to WIN? Or are you playing not to lose?”

It’s a powerful question. One of my coaches has asked me! What about you? Are you playing to WIN? Or are you playing not to lose?

Because let me tell you what I know for sure, as I did with him…

Volunteering to step down a few rungs on a ladder you’ve already climbed is playing not to lose.

Looking for a lower-level role through a lower-risk search is playing not to lose.

Taking a pay cut to avoid the competition is playing not to lose.

Playing not to lose is accepting less than you deserve, which is a guaranteed “L” by any meaningful measure.

Here’s how my client can play to win instead —
Leverage his C-suite experience to land an even better position.

That goes for you too —
If circumstances threaten to bring you down, aim higher.

Never sell yourself short. Kick it up a notch! Shoot for the ultimate. What do YOU want?
- A job at a bigger organization with higher pay, excellent benefits, and more support.
- A position that fosters growth and prepares you for the next level.
- A seat at the table with more visibility and a chance to make a name for yourself.
- An opportunity to make an impact and leave a legacy.
- A role that values your expertise more than your time and presence, so you can prioritize life outside of work.
It’s up to you. What do you want to WIN? Challenge yourself to go after that.

Too many people mistake aiming lower for taking the easier route with less risk. But playing not to lose never wins.
November 3, 2024
How to Sell without the ICK

This isn’t easy, but it can’t be avoided.

I talk to smart, talented, capable people who find themselves stuck every day, and almost every one of them has this one thing in common.

They want to grow a business or accomplish the next big step in their career. They are go-getters and have a lot going for them. But this one thing keeps holding them back – perhaps you can relate –

They hate selling. Most people do.

Sure, we all know someone born with the ability to sell sand in the desert, but they’re the exceptional few.

The majority of us find sales to be icky.

Because when someone tries to sell us a product or a service using a high-pressure, manipulative, slimy approach, we walk away from that experience covered in ick. And we don’t want to be someone who spews ick.

But you’re not an icky person.

You’re someone who stands behind your product, someone with solutions to offer, someone who solves problems and gets results.

Whether you’re interviewing for a job, making a pitch, or looking to close a deal, what you’re putting on the table is the answer to another person’s needs or desires. A transformation or positive outcome will occur if they take you up on your invitation.

I get it. To say selling yourself isn’t easy is an understatement, but if you have any ambitions, you have to get over the ick.

Remember, sales scenarios can be disconcerting — for both you and the other person! Your success is on the line. They’re on the defensive. And you’re each sensing a threat, which can trigger “fight or flight” mode.

The best way to think of selling is that you’re doing someone a service. A key part of that service is helping them feel comfortable — by having conversations, asking good questions, welcoming objections, guiding decisions, and reassuring the other person that you have their best interests at heart. There’s nothing icky about that.

Getting better at selling isn’t something you can avoid, but you can avoid the ick.

October 13, 2024
Harvesting Results in Q4

Fall is always an interesting time of year in business.

Sometimes the summer slowdown lulls us into lazy mode or propels us into panic. You might be asking yourself, “Will things really pick up?”

Here’s what I have to say about that: I hope you enjoyed a nice vacation but kept the leads flowing and your options open — because it’s now that the harvest should be plenty!

Landing into the hustle and bustle of Fourth Quarter can sneak up on us if we haven’t planted seeds or laid the groundwork for what should be a busy season ahead.

Fall is meant to be a time to harvest the hearty fare that helps us through the winter — pumpkins, squash, and sweet potatoes — and plant our next round of seeds before the first frost — things like kale, cabbage, and spinach.

Ok, so we might not be gardeners, but we all work in cycles and stints. We all need to prepare, plant, grow, nurture, cultivate, harvest, and do it all over again and again.

Remember, we only get to reap the benefits of what we’ve sown throughout the year. Putting in the work year-round is the surest way to thrive.

Whether you’re in a job search, navigating your next step on the career ladder, or building your business, Q4 is a time ripe with opportunity. The holidays will be here before we know it!

Don’t fall back; keep moving forward.

October 6, 2024
More Lessons From My Hobby

Over the past year or so, I’ve started a new hobby.

And I think this one might surprise you: I’m flipping furniture! (unless you’ve been around and read my previous article on this.)

You read that right. Here I am — a busy business owner, coaching executives and entrepreneurs — and I’ve made time for something entirely new that has nothing to do with my business.

Highly recommended: 10/10

Not only do I enjoy this hobby, but I’m also learning a great deal from it.

If you’re not familiar with furniture flipping, it’s when you take an outdated piece or lackluster antique nobody wants, and give it a second life. I either refurbish it back to its original beauty or update it with a whole new look.

I’m having a blast, and here’s something interesting I’ve noticed —

Furniture flipping is highly creative, fun, and incredibly satisfying. But most of the work is in the preparation — fixing and re-fixing cracks, stripping, sanding, and priming.

It’s 90% hard work and 10% art, which is a great analogy for owning a business or creating success in anything worthwhile.

We’re passionate about delivering the coaching, training, speaking, or product — that signature thing you enjoy most. But 90% of business is the marketing, sales, operations, tech, and management — the prep work. And let’s be honest; sometimes it feels like a whole lot of drudgery. (Maybe that’s why it’s called ‘work’!)

But to be successful in business requires a willingness to put in that prep work — with enthusiasm! You have to be willing to prepare and prepare and prepare before you get to deliver your art.

This may have come as a surprise when you started your business. Or you may be you’re even in a job search. However, it doesn’t take long to realize there’s mountains of prep work to be done before you get to the fun part.

The challenge becomes making the hard work fun.

Here’s what I mean —

When I’m working on a piece of furniture, something often sets me back right before I get to the best part. I’m mixing my paint, looking forward to watching the smooth new finish come to life, and I notice another crack…which means adding more filler, sanding, and priming all over again.

I can label these setbacks as a pain in the ‘you know what’ or I can choose to embrace them as part of the journey. Settling in, focusing on what’s right in front of you in the moment, and rolling with the obstacles will help you feel more aligned and full of purpose.

The final product is always better because you took good care to do it right and gave it the attention it deserved.

So, my advice is to expect the hiccups, stumbling blocks, and complications along the way. Recognize it all as integral to your craft and key to delivering the goods.

How can you fall in love with the 90% before you get to the fun and most rewarding part?

September 29, 2024