Now What?® Coaching

Category: Lessons Learned

Let It Go

Today’s note is brought to you by a frozen walk through New York, a proud theater mom moment, and yes, a little song you may have heard before…

“Let it gooooo…”

No, this isn’t a Disney-themed pep talk (although my son is playing drums for a production of Frozen, and yes, I cried through half of it). But that got me thinking: We’re closing in on the end of the year, and it’s time for some honest reflection.

Let me ask you:
What do you need to let go of?

As a coach, one of the skills I work on with every single client, whether they’re navigating a career pivot or building a business, is emotional intelligence.

Here’s the truth about emotional intelligence that doesn’t get said enough:
It’s not just about managing your reactions or reading the room.
It’s about radical self-awareness.
It’s about knowing your values, naming your patterns, facing your fear, and being brave enough to put something down, even when it feels like a part of your identity.

You can’t fly if you’re weighed down.

As we wrap up the year, here are a few places to start (stick around to the end for a surprise):

1. Let Go of Grudges.

They’re heavy. And they’re not hurting the other person; they’re hurting you. That bitterness takes up space in your mind, cluttering your creativity, and dampening your joy. Let it go – not for them, but for you.

2. Let Go of Clutter.

Physical and mental clutter – clear it out. That pile of books you’ll never read. The clothes that don’t fit who you are anymore. The half-finished projects. Trust that if you need it again, it will return in a better form.

3. Let Go of People.

This one’s hard; sometimes, we outgrow relationships, or we grow in different directions. That doesn’t mean there’s no love or gratitude. But not everyone is meant to walk the whole path with you, and that’s okay.

Here’s the one that might sting…

4. Let Go of the Old Dreams.

Yes, I said it. I’m a coach who helps people reach their dreams. But I’m also a coach who will tell you when the dream you’re clinging to isn’t serving you anymore. Not because you failed, but because you’ve changed.

That thing you wanted at 25 might not be what you want, or need, at 45 or 55. Forcing it can turn it into a burden instead of a calling.
The power move isn’t always holding on. Sometimes, it’s giving yourself permission to evolve.

Take it from me. I let go of a dream I held for years, which was a career in musical theater. I loved it. I trained for it. I had talent. And I enjoyed it for a time. But letting it go made space for a life I love even more: A deeply fulfilling career as a coach, a family I adore, and yes, still plenty of musical theater in my life.

Letting go didn’t mean losing myself.
It meant finding a new way to use my gifts.

That’s the magic of making space. When you release what’s no longer working, you create room for creativity, growth, synchronicity, healing, joy, and so much more.

Take some time this month to reflect, re-evaluate, and lighten the load.

Let it go – not to be empty, but to be ready.
Let it go so you can rise.

December 14, 2025
Honoring PEOPLE Month

If this year has felt like . . . a lot . . . you’re not imagining it.

For many of us, 2025 has been heavy – personally, professionally, and collectively. The world feels a little topsy-turvy. Maybe you’ve found yourself wrestling with questions you didn’t expect to face this year:
What do I stand for?
What matters most?
How do I stay grounded when the ground itself keeps shifting?

We’ve watched conflicts unfold on global stages and at kitchen tables. We’ve seen friendships dissolve, business partnerships break down, families go no-contact, and workplaces and households fracture under the weight of unspoken tension.

In my work as a coach (and in my everyday life), I’ve witnessed people trying to make sense of disconnection and disillusionment. It’s hard, and it hurts. Because under all the questions about morality, truth, identity, and power, we’re just people.

And people are complicated – beautifully, maddeningly, gloriously complicated.

Which brings me to one of my favorite ways to connect, escape, learn and grow: The theater. If you’ve been around a while, you know where I’m going (and where I went last week). “C’mon, Annie, let’s go to the movies!” 😉

As a lifelong musical theater nerd, I’ve been counting down to the new release, Wicked: For Good. Let me tell you, without spoiling a thing, the artistry, the symbolism, and the message – it delivers!

At its core, Wicked: For Good is a story about perception, power, and the bonds between us. It’s about how the stories we tell and the ones we inherit shape our understanding of good, evil, truth, and self.

But more than anything, it’s about people. Messy, magical, flawed, and formative people.

In this film, we hear the now iconic ballad “For Good” anew, stirring up the kind of moment that cracks your heart open and fills it at the same time:

🎶 “Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.”✨

That line has been playing on repeat in my mind and in my heart lately. Not just because it’s beautiful, but because it’s true.

Every single person who’s crossed your path has shaped you. Sometimes it’s clearly for the better, sometimes not so much. But always for some good, for growth, and for your becoming. People help to make us who we are.

That’s why I’m inviting you to join me in honoring December as PEOPLE Month.

Not in a sentimental, gloss-it-over kind of way. But in a real, courageous, meaningful way.

Let’s take time to acknowledge:
Friends who walked beside us (or away from us).
Clients who challenged and stretched us.
Colleagues who reminded us of our talents and strengths.
Unexpected mentors and everyday teachers.
Family relationships that ended (for now or forever), but left gifts in their wake.
People who hurt us, and the ways we’ve grown since.

This is a season of gratitude, giving, and gathering, as well as one of reckoning, one of facing and taking accountability for our own errors, judgments, and human ways.

Whether you’re celebrating holidays, wrapping up projects, or simply trying to end the year with a little more clarity than you started, carry this with you:

🎶 “So much of me is made of what I learned from you.“✨

As you move through the rest of this month, show up with kindness.
Offer compassion.
Speak a little more gently.
See people. Really see them, especially when it’s hard.

Because in the end, relationships are what change us.
That change is not weakness; it’s wisdom.

Here’s to all the people who’ve shaped us.
May we keep growing, learning, and becoming . . . for good.

December 7, 2025
Your Holiday Survival Kit

Here come the holidays!

As a coach, interfaith minister, and someone who’s walked with people through every kind of life challenge, I know this time of year can stir up a lot.

We “plan” to celebrate, to rest, and to reflect every year.
But we tend to end up feeling more depleted than restored every year.

Whether you celebrate Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, New Year’s, or all of the above, holiday stress doesn’t just stay at the dinner table. It spills over into how you show up at work, in your business, and in your relationships.

If we’re not intentional, the season can derail our energy, focus, and joy.

I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know.
But this year, I’m challenging you to actually do something about it.

Let’s go into this season with a few powerful reminders to help us protect our peace.
I like to think of it as a Holiday Survival Kit.

Just remember: NBC (like the network bringing us the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, Christmas in Rockefeller Center, Wicked: One Wonderful Night, etc.)

These three letters could save your holiday season.

N is for NO.

Saying no is one of the most powerful skills you’ll ever learn.
But let’s be real; it’s hard, especially if you’re used to being the glue that holds everything together.

This year, try it anyway:
No to the appetizer no one really likes.
No to toxic conversations or exhausting obligations.
No to saying yes just to keep the peace.
Say no with love, but say it clearly and firmly, for your own well-being.

B is for BOUNDARIES.

No is a word. Boundaries are a practice.
Decide ahead of time what you will and won’t accept:

Want a politics-free holiday? Set that expectation now.
Don’t want guests showing up an hour early? Say so.
Need quiet time, rest time, or just space to breathe? Block it out.
You don’t need permission to protect your energy.

C is for COMPLIMENTS.

The holidays are full of tension.
One of the easiest ways to build connection is to offer genuine acknowledgment.
Not fluffy flattery. Not surface-level “I like your sweater” talk.

This year, shift from “I” to “you”:
“You have great taste.”
“You really brought this table to life.”
“You’re such a steady presence.”

We all want to be seen.
If you can offer that to someone – to really see them – it’s a gift that costs nothing and means everything.

Here’s the bottom line —
You are a whole person, not just a professional or business owner with goals to hit and bills to pay.
You deserve to enjoy this season, not just survive it.

Say no when it matters.
Set boundaries that protect what you value.
Give compliments that connect.

You’ve got the skills. You know this stuff.
Now’s the time to put it into practice.

November 30, 2025
Start So You Can Finish

I’m in the midst of witnessing one of my favorite things about my job right now.
It’s nothing new; I see it all the time, but it never gets old.

I’m observing the beginning – the start of something good.
And it makes me crave more – more beginnings, more emergence, more movement.

Because the opposite is tough to watch. As a coach, I don’t want to see failure to launch.

People come to me looking for answers (and a kick in the pants).
But they think they need to figure everything out before taking the first step.

“I just need to make a plan.”
“I’m not sure if now is the right time.”
“I want to be certain before I do anything.”

Sound familiar? These are tell-tale signs of being stuck.

I’ve been at this for decades, and I can say with confidence the thing keeping most people stuck isn’t a lack of ideas, skills, talent, or know-how.

It’s the belief that you need to know it all before you start.

But here’s the truth that surprises almost everyone:
You won’t find certainty before you start. And you don’t need it, because…
Starting creates certainty.

Getting started is the only thing that brings certainty – or anything else for that matter – into being.

One of my clients was struggling with uncertainty a few weeks ago and feeling stuck, stuck, stuck!
She had a brilliant idea and great instincts, but little confidence that she could pull it off.
She was overthinking every detail, caught in a loop, hesitant to hire me, unsure if she was ready.

Fortunately, she decided to take the leap.
In just three and a half weeks, she’s gone from paralyzed to productive.
She has systems, a marketing plan, materials in place, and her first client just about ready to sign.

What changed?
She started.
She didn’t gain confidence, and then take action.
She took action, and the confidence sprang from doing.

You may think I’m oversimplifying this, but here’s what I want you to consider—
Overthinking is a very sneaky form of self-sabotage.
It feels like you’re doing something. It tricks you into thinking you’re being smart, sensible, and shrewd.
But it’s really just hesitation dressed up as productivity.

Hesitation keeps you safe, comfortable . . . and stuck.
Action gets you moving, even if it’s messy.
Once you’re in motion, everything starts to shift.

Opportunities pop up.
Momentum kicks in.
Things begin to align and unfold even better than you could’ve planned.
Planning takes on new meaning as your foundation takes shape.

You can’t reach a destination – a successful business, a dream career, or any significant transformation – without starting first.

Progress moves faster than you think. But the path you’re imagining isn’t clear until you take that first step. Certainty shows up when you start walking.

Consider this permission, as well as a gentle push, from someone who’s been there, done that, and helped countless others hop over the fence and find their way.

You don’t need to be sure. You need to be brave.
Be willing to try, get it wrong, and start again.

It gets easier every time. There’s a divine order in motion, but to tap into the path to success, you first have to get started.

Let’s go!

November 23, 2025
Collective Grief; Individual Action

As a coach, it’s my job to help people keep moving forward – to grow, to lead, to reach their goals. But it’s also my job to be in tune with what’s really going on in the world, and how it’s affecting the people I serve.

I’ve got to be honest: There’s a heaviness in the air right now.

Maybe you’ve felt it too.

It’s something I’ve noticed in conversations with clients, at events, and just being out in the world. There’s a current of grief running underneath everything.

Some of it is personal: loss of a loved one, loss of health, loss of a dream.

But a lot of it is collective. The grief of witnessing struggle, injustice, and even cruelty. The grief of watching the systems we rely on strain under pressure. The grief of seeing people turn on one another when we need each other most.

Grief, at its core, is about loss. Many of us are grieving more than one thing at a time.

I want to assure you…
It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling.

Yes, we’re professionals.
Yes, we’re business owners, leaders, caregivers, and go-getters.
Yes, the bills are still due, and the work still needs to get done.
But that doesn’t mean we have to power through with a smile pasted on.
You don’t have to put on a mask and pretend everything’s fine.

Our strength doesn’t come from pretending; it comes from our humanity.

There’s a fine line we walk. We don’t want people to see us as “Negative Nancys” who bring the room down. But the truth is, there’s no shame in feeling sad over fractured relationships with friends or family. It’s okay to shed tears over the possibility of a child, elder, or other vulnerable human not having enough to eat. Or to worry that you’ll fall on hard times too. There’s no shame in feeling unsteady when the ground beneath us shifts.

You’re allowed to grieve. You’re allowed to feel it.

Just don’t carry it alone. Whether it’s talking to a therapist, a friend, a partner, or writing in a journal, find a way to share it.
When we let our grief move, it moves through us.
It makes space for compassion, for creativity, and for clarity.

From that space – Take Action!
Donate food. Offer help to a neighbor. Say something kind to a stranger.

And then?
Let yourself rest. Let yourself laugh. Let yourself feel joy when it comes.
Those small sparks are not betrayal, they’re fuel. We need joy to keep going.

Feel what you feel. Let it be messy.
But don’t let it harden you.
Let it remind you what matters. Let it connect you more deeply to others.

That’s how we keep going – not by ignoring what hurts, but by honoring it and still choosing to move forward.

November 9, 2025
Is it time to change your lens? Shift your focus, change everything

Last week, I found myself silently questioning every life choice that brought me to that moment.

Let me back up.

I recently joined a daily personal development program – something for me, not something I’m leading. It includes two workouts a week, and I was all in. Day one, I pushed hard. Too hard! I spent the next day walking around shaped like an S, nursing lower back pain and regret.

When it came time to show up for the next workout, I had a choice to make.

I could look through the lens of: “I’m injured. I can’t do this. Poor me.”
Or I could ask myself, “What choice do I have right now that moves me forward?”

I chose to show up. I modified the movements, I focused on form, and I listened to my body.

Here’s the part that surprised me: By the end of the warm-up, the pain started to fade. I was able to keep going for 35 minutes into the 40-minute class. Not perfect, but powerful. I wrapped up thinking “yay me!” rather than “woe is me” that day.

And that, right there, is what I want you to recognize – the power of the lens you choose.

You don’t get to pick your circumstances. But you absolutely get to pick how you see them.

You can see yourself as the victim of your situation, or you can decide to show up as the hero of your story.

I’m not talking about being performative or pushing through when it’s unsafe. I’m talking about the small, meaningful choice to say, “Even if I can’t do everything today, what can I do?”

That’s what makes the difference between spiraling and rising. As Brené Brown says:
“You either walk into your story and own your truth, or you live outside of your story, hustling for worthiness.”

The lens you choose doesn’t erase reality. But it changes your relationship to it by reflecting a different view. It changes your next step. And over time, it changes everything.

If you’re not sure how to switch your lens, here’s what I suggest…

This weekend, I challenge you to take one situation you’ve been struggling with – something that makes you want to hide, shut down, or feel defeated – and ask:

What lens am I using to view this right now?
If I were the hero in this story, what would I do next?

Even a small brave action, like showing up for a warm-up when you’re not sure you can handle the whole class, has the power to change how you see yourself. And that shifts the entire experience.

I’ll leave you with this question:
What lens are you looking through today?

Choose the one that moves you forward. Step into the hero story.

Read this quote again, and really let it sink in this time:
“You either walk into your story and own your truth, or you live outside of your story, hustling for worthiness.“

October 19, 2025