Lessons Learned

Is it time to change your lens? Shift your focus, change everything

By Laura Berman Fortgang on October 19, 2025

Last week, I found myself silently questioning every life choice that brought me to that moment.

Let me back up.

I recently joined a daily personal development program – something for me, not something I’m leading. It includes two workouts a week, and I was all in. Day one, I pushed hard. Too hard! I spent the next day walking around shaped like an S, nursing lower back pain and regret.

When it came time to show up for the next workout, I had a choice to make.

I could look through the lens of: “I’m injured. I can’t do this. Poor me.”
Or I could ask myself, “What choice do I have right now that moves me forward?”

I chose to show up. I modified the movements, I focused on form, and I listened to my body.

Here’s the part that surprised me: By the end of the warm-up, the pain started to fade. I was able to keep going for 35 minutes into the 40-minute class. Not perfect, but powerful. I wrapped up thinking “yay me!” rather than “woe is me” that day.

And that, right there, is what I want you to recognize – the power of the lens you choose.

You don’t get to pick your circumstances. But you absolutely get to pick how you see them.

You can see yourself as the victim of your situation, or you can decide to show up as the hero of your story.

I’m not talking about being performative or pushing through when it’s unsafe. I’m talking about the small, meaningful choice to say, “Even if I can’t do everything today, what can I do?”

That’s what makes the difference between spiraling and rising. As Brené Brown says:
“You either walk into your story and own your truth, or you live outside of your story, hustling for worthiness.”

The lens you choose doesn’t erase reality. But it changes your relationship to it by reflecting a different view. It changes your next step. And over time, it changes everything.

If you’re not sure how to switch your lens, here’s what I suggest…

This weekend, I challenge you to take one situation you’ve been struggling with – something that makes you want to hide, shut down, or feel defeated – and ask:

What lens am I using to view this right now?
If I were the hero in this story, what would I do next?

Even a small brave action, like showing up for a warm-up when you’re not sure you can handle the whole class, has the power to change how you see yourself. And that shifts the entire experience.

I’ll leave you with this question:
What lens are you looking through today?

Choose the one that moves you forward. Step into the hero story.

Read this quote again, and really let it sink in this time:
“You either walk into your story and own your truth, or you live outside of your story, hustling for worthiness.“

When you stop hiding, this happens

By Laura Berman Fortgang on October 12, 2025

If there’s one thing I know for sure in my work, it’s that visibility changes everything.

Whether you’re building a business, exploring a new career path, or trying to grow in your current role, the people who create real momentum are the ones who are willing to be seen.

Because let’s be honest – staying behind the scenes might feel safer, but it comes at a cost.

Being invisible means being overlooked.
Overlooked for jobs or promotions. Overlooked for opportunities. Overlooked by potential clients.

In this moment – when competition is high and attention is short – you can’t afford to be overlooked.

Let’s talk about what it means to make what I call a visibility shift.

If you’re in a corporate setting, this is about taking a strategic approach to be sure you’re seen by the right people in the right way. You’d want to do things like:

– Asking to be in the meetings you’re not usually invited to.
– Volunteering to present on a topic you’re passionate about.
– Attending key networking events, team outings, and even coffee chats with leaders.
– Posting relevant, thoughtful content online to position yourself as someone with something to say in your industry.

But be careful: Don’t volunteer for the company picnic or the fire safety committee hoping it will raise your profile. That puts you in the “helpful, non-promotable” category, which is nothing but a distraction.

If you’re running your own business, visibility is your lifeline.

It’s too important to leave it to chance. No spraying and praying or random acts of marketing will get you the kind of attention and respect you desire. It may have worked in the past, but it’ll only fall short these days!

The better marketer wins, not necessarily the better coach, consultant, or service provider. However, this doesn’t mean your strategy has to be overly complex or even finely tuned to make a difference.

Pick one platform, one problem you solve, and show up consistently. Share real insights, case studies, and value, not just tips and tricks. Let people see how you think, what you do, and who you help.

Want to get out there and get known yesterday? Speaking is the fastest way to build visibility, hands down (preferably in person, in front of a crowd), but a virtual audience in real time is the next best thing.

When you raise your visibility, something powerful happens. The right clients, jobs, collaborations, and chances to grow come looking . . . and find what you have to offer.

Here’s my challenge to you: Make the visibility shift.

When you stop hiding, you start building the future you actually want.

What’s your story? (Is it time for a new one?)

By Laura Berman Fortgang on September 28, 2025

The stories we tell ourselves are powerful. They determine how we show up, what risks we assume, and what actions we take (or avoid) – whether those stories hold truth or not.

That’s why rewriting your story is such a central part of the work I do with clients. Especially now, when so many people are feeling anxious about the economy, the job market, or what’s coming next.

Understandably so. But even in uncertain times, your story is what determines your next move – not the headlines.

If you’re telling yourself,
“It’s pointless to try right now,” that’s a story.
If you’re saying, “No one’s hiring people like me,” or “I don’t have what it takes to build a business,”
those are stories, too. . . . and you’ve written yourself into a dead end.

Let me ask you something that I often ask my clients:
How’s that story working for ya? 🤨
If the answer is “not great,” it’s time for a rewrite.

Take one client of mine who’s dealing with chronic health issues. That’s real; it’s her truth. But her underlying story was, “I can’t succeed because of this.” And that story was keeping her stuck.

So we rewrote it. She started saying, “I can still succeed at a high level in ways that work with my energy and time.” That story opened up possibilities.

Instead of traveling to speak, she started hosting webinars.
Instead of offering hourly services, she packaged her expertise into group offerings.
Same person. Different story. New actions.

Where do your stories come from? Some are generational. Others are cultural, religious, or formed from early life experiences. Maybe you were told to be “realistic.” Maybe you saw someone fail and vowed never to take the same risk.

The truth is, you’re not stuck.

In my Now What?^® coaching work, we look at how your career path has been shaped by the story you’ve told, and how we can rewrite it to get you where you actually want to go.

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Here’s a quick exercise:
Imagine stepping out of your life like it’s a movie. Watch yourself as the main character. What story are you playing out?

If your character is accepting underpaid work because adults in their life said they’d never amount to anything. . . What happens if that character starts developing skills and learning how to land high-paying clients or climb the corporate ladder?

If your character is working around the clock, missing time with their kids, like their divorced mother had to just to survive. . . What if they started building a business that prioritizes family and flexibility instead?

If your character is stuck in a job they hate because they once saw an uncle’s business fail and their dad called entrepreneurship irresponsible. . . What if that story becomes fuel to learn from others’ mistakes, or build something safer and more sustainable?

You can’t rewrite the past, but you can change how it drives your future.
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The stories we tell ourselves are the scripts we live by. Stop letting a dead-end story dictate your next move.

Write a story that opens doors. That sparks creativity. That leads to action.
Because the story you choose is the life you live.

What’s your next chapter?

How Committed Are You?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on September 14, 2025

A wise yoga teacher once said to me:
“Who you are on the mat is who you are in life.”

She wasn’t calling us a pack of downward dogs. She was holding a mirror to our souls. In the moments when your body’s screaming to quit, when your legs are shaking, when your breath is short – who are you?

Do you hold the pose and breathe through the fire?
Or
Do you bow out and tell yourself, “Close enough?”

The same thinking applies:
When you’re just short of the finish line in your first half-marathon.
When you’re just shy of your revenue goal.
When one more call could fill your coaching program.
When your next move could be the tipping point for your promotion.

Is close enough good enough? Or do you stick it out and hang in there until the end – and win?

That decision is everything. It’s the difference between almost . . . and all you’ve ever wanted.

Your goals don’t care if you’re tired. Your business doesn’t care if you’re scared. Your health doesn’t care if you’re busy. Your bottom line doesn’t care about the wacky headlines.

The things you want only respond to consistent action; consistent action requires commitment.

I love inspiration as much as the next person. Passion is wonderful; motivation is great, but they’re fleeting. They go on vacation when things get hard.

Commitment stays.

Here’s the best part: When you breathe through the fire, the reward isn’t just another goal checked off.

The reward is sitting on the beach without guilt, like I did last weekend, knowing you earned that time. It’s being fully present with your family because you’re not worrying about money. It’s letting yourself rest, because your follow-through made room for it.

Commitment builds the life you want. Not someday – NOW and for the future.

Mediocrity is a habit, but so is excellence. Every time you hold the yoga pose through the burn, you’re building a commitment muscle. Every time you show up when you don’t feel like it, you’re training your brain to follow through.

Every time you see something through to the end goal – even when no one’s watching – you’re becoming someone you can count on.

I’ll ask you this: Are you quitting too early?

Choose wisely. The mat doesn’t lie. And neither does your life.

The September Advantage: Get On The Bus

By Laura Berman Fortgang on September 7, 2025

Another summer is in the books! I hope you enjoyed your holiday weekend. . .

Because now it’s time to go back to school.

Whether you’re growing a coaching practice or searching for your next big role, the pace likely slowed down this summer, and let’s be honest, so did the income. Not for everyone, but if you’re looking at your bottom line and feeling anxious, you’re not alone.

I heard from many clients that things were slow.

I know the headlines aren’t exactly comforting right now. The economy feels shaky, the job market is awry, and you might be wondering where the heck we’re headed.

But here’s what I want you to remember:
The lull of the past few months was seasonal.
A summer slowdown happens every year.

Right now, you have a major advantage, if you’re willing to take it.

Specifically, I call it the September advantage – that unique burst of collective energy that comes with a fresh start. You just had time to rest (even a little). Now you’ve got a clear runway ahead . . . until the holidays hit.

Presently, we have two solid months to make some serious progress, so treat this like your own personal breakthrough semester and plan to ace it.

Even if you weren’t the kid who looked forward to a new school year, think back to the last time you started something new and exciting with a beginner’s mindset, such as trying out a new fitness class or exploring a new country for the first time.

Clear your desk. Buy yourself a few office supplies – some nice pens, a new journal, a fall-scented candle – and put on your thinking cap.

Just like students reviewing their new syllabi, I want you to take a look at your work through fresh eyes:

What do you want to learnand to grow?
What skill, system, or shortfall needs your attention?
What’s one area you know you’ve been avoiding that could change everything if you focused on it now?

Maybe you need to practice your sales conversations to improve your conversions, or streamline your systems and optimize operations.
Perhaps you should be working on deepening your relationships, or finally showing up for the visibility you’ve been avoiding.

It’s time to tap into that back-to-school energy. The holidays will be here before you know it.

Pick ONE specific thing that’s been lagging. Then give it everything you’ve got with a deadline of Halloween.

Don’t wait for Q4., tell yourself it’s too late for this year, and
Don’t let the doomsdayers break your spirit.

The bus is here. The door is closing. This is your moment to jump on.

You’ve got this – let’s go!

It’s time to end the empty promises

By Laura Berman Fortgang on August 24, 2025

Have you ever told yourself you’re going to do something (again and again) only not to do it? In other words – making an empty promise.

For two years, I struggled to keep my commitment to exercise, but I can finally say I’m doing it. Seven weeks in, it’s a habit. I got tired of selling myself empty promises.

Empty promises – whether to yourself or someone else – are a surefire path to disappointment.

Maybe you’ve been meaning to make that sales call. Or finally take your job search seriously. Or send the weekly newsletter you keep talking about. Maybe you keep saying you’ll read something inspiring at night instead of doomscrolling. Whatever it is, every delay is another promise left hanging. And it creates a ripple of disappointment – mostly in yourself.

What’s the fix?
Start keeping promises to yourself.
Easier said than done, sure. But worth every bit of effort.

You can’t always control what others promise or deliver. But you can control how you show up for yourself. Others following through becomes nothing more than icing on the cake, rather than what you rely on for sustenance.

So why is it so hard? Because we tend to wait until we’re “in the mood.”

What we seem to forget is that doing “the thing” changes our mood. Action creates the momentum we crave, not the other way around. Once you’re in motion, feeling stuck disappears.

Don’t wait to feel motivated. Move first and meet the motivation where it already is – in progress.

That’s when you start seeing results…
The sales call turns into a dream client.
The tailored résumé lands the interview.
The newsletter connects with your next big opportunity.
The book you picked up reignites your inspiration.
Momentum builds. Promises get kept.

Remember, your mood shouldn’t dictate your actions. Your actions will shape your mood.

Procrastination and avoidance are addictive because they bring temporary relief.

Cringing at the thought of pitching a potential sponsor for your podcast?
Anxious about the networking event on your calendar?
Apprehensive about committing to running a half-marathon next spring?

Skipping the pitch, ignoring your calendar, and clicking away from the registration form. Whew…*wipes forehead*

Avoidance feels like a sedative: Quick, easy, and always available. You’ll regret it later, but the short-term comfort keeps you coming back.

Here’s the twist: Choosing “easy” can still move you forward. Pick the easiest hard. Start small. Break your big goal into the ittiest bittiest possible step. Then do just that.

I started with 20 minutes of exercise. Small, but challenging. Before I knew it, 30 minutes felt easy.

You know what’s harder than doing 20 minutes today? Looking back a year from now and still stuck, still waiting, still sitting in the same spot.

I’ve been there. It’s worse.
Pick your hard.

Will it be the hard that gets you closer to your goals?
Or the hard that keeps you stuck in place?

Don’t make empty promises. Fill them with action!