Now What?® Coaching

Tag: career transition

Why Rejection Is the Road — Not the Roadblock

How many of you have experienced rejection in the last six months?
Didn’t get the job you wanted.
Got passed over for the promotion.
Couldn’t close the sale.
If your hand went up, you’re in good company, and you’re exactly who this is for.

Here’s the reframe that changes everything:
Rejection is not the problem. Rejection is the path.

Michael Jordan did not make the cut for his high school basketball team. Harry Potter was rejected at dozens of publishers before getting a yes.

Rejection is not the obstacle standing between you and success; it’s the way to success. The most successful people in any field — job seekers, salespeople, entrepreneurs, executives going after the next level — aren’t the ones who avoid rejection. They’re the ones who recover from it the fastest. Let’s talk about how to do that.

The Two Traps

Before we get to the recovery, you need to recognize the two traps people fall into when they get rejected.

Trap One: Taking it personally. You don’t get the job, and suddenly you’re sure you’re on the wrong path. You lose the sale, and you decide entrepreneurship is not the path for you. You get passed over, and you start to spiral and question your worth. Here’s the truth: That’s a story you’re telling yourself — it’s not a fact. There’s a difference between what happened and the meaning you assign to it. When you collapse a single rejection into a verdict on your entire value, you’ve gone from interpreting a moment to building a case against yourself. Don’t do it.

Trap Two: Brushing it off completely. The opposite problem. You shake it off, tell yourself it was their loss, and move on without extracting anything useful. Resilience is a strength, but not if it means ignoring information that could help you improve. There’s always something to learn. Skipping that step means you’ll face the same wall again.

The answer is to make rejection useful.

A Three-Step Recovery Process

Step 1: Feel it — but set a timer. Rejection is a real emotional experience. Don’t suppress it. Give yourself a window — an hour, a day — to feel disappointed. You’re human, and disappointment is a reasonable response. But when the window closes, close it. You are not your last no.

Step 2: Mine it for data. Ask yourself one question: What’s the one thing I can learn from this? Not ten things – just one. Were you under prepared? Was your pitch unclear? Did you need stronger follow-through? Do you need more training on closing? One honest insight — without defensiveness — is worth more than a dozen rationalizations. Be direct with yourself.

Step 3: Recalibrate, then move quickly. Adjust what the data tells you to adjust, and keep everything else. Then get moving. The longer you sit still after rejection, the heavier it gets. Momentum is the cure for rejection paralysis. Don’t let a no turn into weeks of inaction.

The Number Game Nobody Talks About

Here’s a concept from the world of sales that applies to every pursuit: The cost per no.

If you know that you close one in every ten prospects, and each closed deal is worth $1,000, then every single rejection was worth $100 on the way to that thousand. You’re not just tolerating rejection. You’re getting paid for it. Each no is moving you closer to the yes.

The same math works in a job search, a promotion campaign, or any meaningful pursuit. The job market right now is tough; most people know that. But the answer isn’t to stop putting yourself out there. It’s to understand that every interview that doesn’t land is part of the sequence that eventually does.

So change the question. Stop asking, “Why did they say no?”
Start asking, “How many more no’s do I need before I get to my yes?”
That’s not denial. That’s strategy.

Rejection is part of the game, whether you’re an entrepreneur, a job seeker, or someone gunning for the next level in your career. It’s not a sign you’re on the wrong path. Most of the time, it’s a sign you’re on exactly the right one. You’re just not at the end of it yet.

Keep going!

March 22, 2026
How to Stop Imposter Syndrome in Its Tracks
Do you ever feel like an imposter?

Are you sometimes afraid that someone’s going to discover you have no idea what you’re doing — that you’re not the expert you proclaim to be, you’re not as skilled as you’ve made yourself out to be, and you’re not quite qualified to be in the position you’ve found yourself in?

Maybe you’re worried that you don’t measure up somehow, so it makes you feel like you’re pretending to be someone you’re not.

Here’s what this looks like.

Them: We’d like to interview you [for a dream job]!
You: Maybe they didn’t notice I don’t have enough experience.

Them: Congratulations! We’d like to offer you the [dream] job.
You: I’ll surely be fired by Tuesday, once they figure out I’m a fraud.

Them: We’ve selected your proposal to speak at the next conference.
You: Oh no! I’m probably going to make a fool out of myself.

Them: I’m looking for a coach, and I’d love to work with you.
You: But what if I can’t help you get results, and you tell everyone I’m a con?

I’m not a doctor, but as a Master Certified Credentialed Coach with 30 years of experience, I can confidently assess what’s happening here.

Imposter Syndrome

Don’t worry; it’s not fatal to your career or success.

Most people struggle with it from time to time, and it’s entirely “treatable.”

If you feel like your Imposter Syndrome is flaring up, here’s what I suggest you do —
1. Pause and accept what’s happening. No sense in ignoring the symptoms. Denying it only makes things worse by trying to overcompensate.
2. Learn to recognize your triggers (comparisons, someone else’s recent success) and how you respond, so you can head it off at the pass. Before you go into a full-on panic, tell yourself, “This is just imposter syndrome flaring up again. Nothing alarming. You can do this.”
3. Notice your self-talk. As soon as you start beating yourself up, STOP. It may sound easier said than done, but you can tell yourself “no.” No more negative self-talk; you’re not listening.
4. Ask yourself what success looks like. Are you trying to measure up to a perfect ideal? Scratch that and aim for progress instead.
5. Keep learning. The best way to keep Imposter Syndrome at bay is to continue seeking out new knowledge and ways of doing things, evolving, and growing your skill set.
6. Celebrate wins! I can’t say enough about this. Remind your brain that you’re doing good things.
Do this again and again, every time Imposter Syndrome starts to creep up, and you’ll start experiencing it less and less.

Don’t get caught up in calling yourself an expert. Instead of thinking of yourself as someone who’s supposed to know everything, think of yourself as someone who makes it your business to learn everything you can about your particular topic of choice.

You’re not an imposter, so keep showing up as the best of who you are. You’ve got this!
October 1, 2023
The Power of Pumpkin Spice
Fall is just around the corner again, and you know what that means — it’s pumpkin spice season!

I know … you’re either rolling your eyes, giddy with excitement, or couldn’t care less. But stick with me here, because we should all be paying attention.

Love it or hate it, there’s no denying the POWER of pumpkin spice.

I kid you not — studies have found that Americans are spending over half a BILLION dollars on pumpkin spice stuff every year. Buying up everything from Starbucks lattes to scented trash bags, industry insiders call it the “pumpkin spice economy.”

Sure, it may seem like things have gotten out of hand, and seeing the hype start in mid-August is a pet peeve of mine. Personally, I’m a fan of pumpkin spice, and I’m an even bigger fan of pumpkin spice as a marketing phenomenon.

Marketers have NAILED this. Here’s how —
1. 1. Building anticipation: Those of us who are fans of the rich, fragrant flavor and scent crave our first annual sip or whiff.
  2. Creating emotional connection: It’s become interwoven with the coziness of the season, like a warm sweater, crackling fires, and family holiday gatherings.
  3. Making a limited-time offer: Not being able to order it year-round makes it special. Consumers hurry to buy while they can, as much as they can.
  4. Establishing consistency: We know this thing is coming down the pike every year and have come to rely on it.
How can you translate these lessons into your business or career?

Anticipation: Talk about what you’re brewing up; create intrigue. Developing a new program? Offer hints along the way. Working on an exciting project? Let others know you can’t wait to share. Before long, people will be on the lookout for whatever you have going on and want in on it.

Emotional connection: Make sure people associate your work with something deeper than a commodity. You don’t just offer accounting services, but peace of mind. Not just coaching, but clarity and inspiration.

Limited access: Scarcity encourages people to take action. Offer a limited number of one-on-one coaching opportunities. Focus on projects that make the greatest impact rather than spreading yourself thin.

Consistency: Let people know what to expect from you, so they can look forward to your upcoming podcast episode, newsletter, program launch, or presentation at the next industry conference — and depend on you showing up.

I’d love to know how you’re going to spice things up this fall. Hit reply and share.
September 17, 2023
If Work is Your Identity

For some people, work is their identity. It’s how they measure their worth, and that works for them. It gets a bad rap, but there’s nothing inherently wrong with deriving meaning from the work you’re called to do.

Being driven by your goals can serve you quite well … until it doesn’t!

Let’s face it —

You’re never going to succeed by sitting on your laurels.

Establishing yourself is going to come with some late nights, missed birthday parties, and sacrifice.

But there’s a limit to how much good it does you to burn the WiFi at both ends and stay glued to your phone.

Making your identity all about work is likely costing you, even more than you know.

If you’re thinking of yourself as “Ms. CPA Extraordinaire” or “The best SAHM Return to Work Career Coach” or “my company’s next SVP of Marketing” 24/7/365, you might want to take a breather every now and then.

If your family and friends are constantly teasing you or complaining about your job, it can be frustrating … but they might have a point.

“All you ever do is work.”

“You always cancel on us.”

“When are you ever gonna take a vacation?”

There’s a good chance you’ve let workaholism creep in and take over.

Here’s the thing —

Even if you love what you do…

Even if you think doing more of it is your ticket to ride…

What got you here won’t necessarily get you to the next level.

Instead, you may hit a brick wall of disappointment.

Ignoring the voices – both internal and external – that say you’re working too much is a sure way to burnout.

Ignoring your personal desires and the people around you, putting everything off to a later date, means something is missing.

Maybe it’s time to reexamine what’s driving you.

Why are you making your identity about work? Look for the origin.

Did you make a vow to yourself to succeed at all costs?
Is being rewarded at work fulfilling a personal need?
Is work your source for love, acceptance, and self-worth?

What happens is work gives us all something good, but if something’s missing, that hit can become an addiction like anything else.

Once you’re aware of this, the hard part starts — lowering your standards. Yikes!

Once you know what’s lacking, you can start practicing acceptance of yourself without adhering to the highest standards.

If your identity is all about work and it’s COSTING you, this is what you need to do. It won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it.

Because here’s the kicker: Eventually, you will achieve MORE by doing LESS.

September 3, 2023
The Significance of the WIN

When you’re looking to reinvent your career or start a business, resilience is crucial.

Because sooner or later, the going will get tough. You’ll need to not only stay motivated but also recover quickly and bounce back whenever you encounter difficulties.

One of the best ways to do this is to focus on your wins.

When facing challenge after challenge, it can feel like losing is imminent. Directing your attention toward your triumphs is like a continuous reminder that you’re actually someone who wins — and keeps winning — every day.

So whenever I work with a client, we start our session with a win.

Sometimes it’s something big — secured a dream job interview, landed a new client, booked a speaking gig, nailed a program launch.

But sometimes it’s something seemingly small — updating your resume, sending a newsletter, booking a discovery call, attending a networking event.

But a win is a win!

Even if you have to dig for it and rack your brain, always keep in mind that you’re a winner at something this month, this week, this morning… here’s why —

A win is something you WANT.
It’s INTEGRAL to your well-being.
And it NEGATES problems.

W.I.N.

If you have a challenging goal to tackle, wins can be the boost you need to get you there. Celebrating your victories leads to more favorable results.

A win changes your physiology. Focusing on your wins makes you shift from a stress-oriented mindset to one of possibility, wonder, and what’s next.

Your creativity amplifies, your problem-solving improves, and your confidence flourishes. You’re ready to take on the next step knowing there will be a positive outcome — if not exactly what you’re aiming for, something better than where you are. A win is imminent!

I’ll admit, this is easier said than done.

In fact, it’s been a personal challenge for me over the years. I thought my problems made me interesting, and I used them as comic fodder, part of my personality. But the self-deprecating humor wasn’t serving me.

It wasn’t until I learned to focus on what was right in my life that things began to shift. By focusing on what was right, I started doing more of what was right, and my wins beget more wins.

Success breeds success.

August 27, 2023
Break Out of the Norms You Set for Yourself

Break Out of the Norms You Set for Yourself

I had to take a forced break from my usual live broadcast and my newsletter topic plan this past week due to my mother being in the hospital.

Between both my parents, other family members, and one of my children’s childhood spent in hospitals, I’ve been here all too many times.

HERE is disrupted, in hyper-vigilance, learning on the fly. It’s making important decisions while watching the American healthcare system flail and often fail to meet the needs of those that require care.

HERE is sitting with loads of time on my hands while I’m bedside to advocate for my loved one’s care, but not having enough brain power to do anything productive or move business forward.

HERE is going through every full-time job in your mind of what will be required to get your loved one to the next stage of care (or resuming their life) without being able to do anything to prepare because you have no idea when you have to activate a plan or what level of functioning you have to prepare for.

You can’t know until you know, which makes everything a last minute rush to an invisible finish line.

Good healthcare workers are heroes. Truly. I’m so grateful for those that truly care and fight alongside me for the care my loved ones need.

What I want to impart here is a call to action to wake up to your own life and shake yourself out of inertia. As I watch my mother struggle with a watershed moment where she is only likely to get worse and not better, I put forth this message to not let your life pass you by.

I’m not sharing about this personal challenge for your attention or sympathy. I don’t need it nor want it. I’m sharing to encourage you to shake off whatever is holding you back and take a bold action to move your life forward.

As hard as it seems, as impossible it appears to reach your desired outcome, as hopeless as your past results may make you feel, do something to break out of the norms you have set for yourself.

Yes, you have set them for yourself. You’ve accepted certain behaviors from yourself or others, you’ve let circumstances curb your possibilities, you may have even given up.

STOP THAT NOW.

Imagine sitting bedside (maybe some of you have) watching a loved one deteriorate to a shadow of their former selves. Imagine the things they never did and wanted to do.

The things they didn’t know how to say and never will. The wonderful things they did that they could never repeat again. What would that stir you to do?

Maybe it’s time to look at your bucket list. Maybe it’s just your to-do list that need a glance where you might find all the items are absurd in the bigger scheme of things.

Maybe it’s a look at your goals to find out if they’re really yours or better represent things you think you SHOULD do vs. really want to do. Maybe it’s just doing NOTHING and enjoying your life for a while that is the call. I don’t know, but you likely do.

I have nothing cataclysmic to share about what another round of being bedside is doing for me. Right now, it’s just draining and anxiety producing to not know what I’m preparing for.

So please, take heed. Break out of your fog. Take the driver’s seat of your life.

August 20, 2023