Now What?® Coaching

Tag: Clarity

  • The Power of “Thanksgiving” in Your Career and Business

    The Power of “Thanksgiving” in Your Career and Business

    I’m enjoying family time this holiday weekend in the U.S., and I hope you’re having a wonderful day wherever you are in the world too.

    One of the things I love most about this time of year is having a big, hearty reminder to reflect on what I’m most thankful for.

    As you may know, positive psychology research has proven that practicing gratitude is a powerful way to boost your happiness, health, ability to endure challenges, and so much more.

    Remembering to focus on gratitude for what you already have versus the pain of what you don’t have not only shifts your perspective but also positively affects your biology, energy, and nervous system. It’s potent stuff!

    With advantages aplenty, building a gratitude practice — even a small one — can be an indispensable tool for your career, business, and life success toolbox year-round.

    focus on gratitudeAs we wrap up the year, this nudge to be thankful is a gift — no matter your traditions.

    When giving thanks in the season, I want to challenge you to go deeper. Fix your attention not so much on the things you have but on the people who matter most to you and why.

    What do you really value about them?

    Thinking, “I’m grateful to have this person as a client,” is one thing. But thinking, “I’m grateful for the opportunities I’ve had to expand my skills, the sense of fulfillment and joy I felt in knowing my expertise produced results, the creativity sparked by their ideas, the inspiration spurred by their passion…” and so forth makes a difference.

    practice on gratitudeGoing deeper into your gratitude amplifies the intensity of the practice as a tool.

    Expressing gratitude in this way helps people to feel seen and truly appreciated. In return, they are more likely to see and appreciate you, strengthening your relationship and creating mutual validation — “Hey, we’re in this together and want the best for one another moving forward.”

    This is the benefit of deep “thanksgiving.”

    What have you learned from the person? How have you grown through your relationship with them? What would you have missed out on if your paths hadn’t crossed?

    As you reach out to family, friends, colleagues, clients, partners, students, mentors, and other influential people in your life over the coming weeks, offer the gift of deep “thanksgiving.”

    Here’s what that might look like —
    ​”If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have…”
    “You inspired me to…”
    “You taught me X, so therefore I can do Y…”

    Be specific. Be generous. Let people know they matter. Watch your gift of “thanksgiving” produce bountiful returns in the new year and beyond.

  • Here’s How to Overcome Procrastination

    Here’s How to Overcome Procrastination

    We’re heading into the holiday season, and I’m hearing lots of talk about hanging it up for the year — postponing job searches, client prospecting, and important projects until January.

    Yes, you deserve a break and plenty of time for celebrations. But in many cases, the holidays are just the excuse du jour to cover for a stubborn case of procrastination.

    Procrastination is a tough habit to break. We know better, yet we keep doing it anyway.

    You put something off for far too long, and you kick yourself later. It could’ve been so much easier, less stressful, and more successful if you’d timed it better.

    So what gives?

    Here's How to Overcome ProcrastinationWhy do we continue procrastinating when we know we’ll pay the price for it?

    It could be any number of things, but the big one: FEAR

    This sometimes surprises people. “Fear? Fear of what!?” You convince yourself that you’re putting things off because you’re busy or tired or have too much else going on. And sometimes you just don’t wanna.

    But more often than not, there’s something else going on beneath the excuses.

    When I dig a little deeper with clients, here’s what I find:
    Fear of failing. “What if my idea totally bombs?”
    Fear of not being good enough. “What if I try and don’t make the cut?”
    Fear of conflict. “What if I bring this up, and they get upset with me?”
    Fear of success. “What if my book’s a hit, and I have to be in the spotlight?”
    Fear of change. “What if I lose the weight and look so great I can’t handle the attention?”

    All of this leads to procrastination. It sends us into loops of anxiety about doing it and not doing it. It stops people from achieving their goals.

    How do you overcome procrastination?

    Look at the fear behind it. That’s where you’ll find the keys to what you need to unlock.

    Take some form of action. Pick one: Do it. Delegate it. Dump it. Don’t know how to do it, or don’t want to? Delegate it. If it’s truly not a priority? Dump it and let it go. Clear the way for what’s most important.

    Focus on the prize. What’s your WHY? As the outcome of doing this thing — what do you want to have? Who do you want to become? Dangle the carrot and go after it.

    In my line of work, I encounter far too many people who let procrastination stop them from making their next move. Whether it’s something routine that needs to get done, a power play needed to make progress, or pursuing a big scary life changing dream — don’t let procrastination stop you.

    It’s a habit you can break if you recognize it for what it really is and commit to working on it.

  • Do You Create Roadblocks or Does Someone Else?

    Do You Create Roadblocks or Does Someone Else?

    When I talk to folks about making their next career move, I’m often met with an imaginary roadblock. At this point, I’ve come to expect it.

    This phantom obstacle comes in the form of a prerequisite they’ve conjured up (one that doesn’t actually exist) — an unmet qualification, a missing credential, or insufficient experience.

    It’s something they perceive as necessary, and it stops them from moving forward.

    But the reality is, they’re usually just counting themselves out. They become their own gatekeeper.

    Don’t get me wrong …

    Sometimes a job requires a legitimate credential, as it should.

    You wouldn’t want to board an airplane with a pilot who hasn’t completed the requisite number of flight hours. And you certainly wouldn’t trust your life to a surgeon who dropped out of medical school.

    But for most careers, almost anything goes.

    With enough creativity, confidence, and tenacity, you can usually chart your own course … within reason, of course.

    Do You Create Roadblocks or Does Someone Else?​ by Laura Berman FortgangLetting a self-imposed prerequisite block your path is self-sabotage.

    “They’ll never promote me to director without an MBA.”
    “I need a C-suite title before that firm will even consider my resume.”
    “Nobody’s going to hire me as a developer without a computer science degree.”

    Sound familiar?

    Not too long ago, I was working with a client who was eyeing a VP position. She felt up for the challenge but was convinced she needed to reach for a lower rung on the ladder first. I encouraged her to go straight for the executive level role … and she landed it — just like that!

    I often work with entrepreneurs who tell me they’re expecting to make about 600k but hoping for a million. I tell them to run the higher numbers, take million-dollar action, and go for it.

    It’s like the Norman Vincent Peale quote:
    “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”

    Even if you don’t reach your stretch goal, you’ll find yourself closer to where you really want to be.

    Looking further down the road means seeing past the imaginary obstacles and roadblocks you’ve placed in your own way.

    Bottom line: GO BIG!

    And if you start second-guessing yourself, check for that slippery slope of self-imposed prerequisites.

    Are YOU getting in your own way?

  • How to Bounce Back from Burnout

    How to Bounce Back from Burnout

    There’s been a lot of talk about burnout lately … and rightly so.

    It’s not just some buzzword, but a very real thing that more and more people are dealing with every day.

    We’ve all been through a lot over the past couple of years, and no matter what else was going on in the news or in life, we’ve had to keep pushing — to keep the money flowing in, to keep the bills paid, and to keep our careers intact.

    It’s been intense. Even though things are a little less so now, the after effect of it all is hitting people hard. So if you’re feeling this, you’re not alone.
    In my case, I spent the past year in serious caregiver mode for two different family members. While I’m grateful that my business allowed me the flexibility to do that, I hit burnout mode — big time.

    I knew that if I didn’t pull back, my own health would be on the line. So that’s what I did, and now I’m in bounce-back mode.

    I’ve been here before — at different times, for different reasons — so the good news is, I knew what to do. Now I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve that I thought I’d share with you in case you’re finding yourself heading towards (or trying to recover from) burnout too.

    Best case scenario: Take a break. Use your personal days, medical leave, or whatever you need to do to unplug completely. And do it BEFORE your body forces you to.

    If that’s not an option — and let’s face it, it’s probably not — here’s what to do instead:

    1. Step back from people, activities, responsibilities, and obligations that are not absolutely necessary. You just have to stop, even if it’s hard, even if it ruffles feathers. They’ll get over it … or not; it won’t be the end of the world. If you don’t quit, it could be the end of you. I’m not being dramatic here; your life depends on it.

    2. Start spending more time in nature. This isn’t a nice-to-do, it’s a must-do. Put your feet in the grass and connect with the earth. Sit by the water. Find a park. Look up at the sky. Move your body. Nurturing yourself in nature calms your nervous system like nothing else. You’ll feel so much better.

    3. “Quiet quit” your job — You’re hearing a lot about this right now, and it’s not to be confused with actually quitting. In case you’ve yet to hear about this, just google it. In a nutshell, the idea is to step back and do the bare minimum at work (even if you’re self-employed). That’s one interpretation, and the other, more what the original viral TikTok video was about, is to stop letting your job win. Don’t let it consume you, your energy, your sanity, and your mind space.

    You choose which one you have to do. You won’t want to do the bare minimum forever, but do it while you’re in the process of recovering. No shame. Your survival depends on it. And the other version needs to be normalized. We, as a society, LIVE with work central to our well being.

    Put yourself first for a while, and you’ll be okay. We’re all humans, not machines. We can’t keep grinding along neglecting our self-care. It may take longer than you think, and it might not be easy, but it’s definitely worth it.

    Your career will be waiting for you on the other side — the one you have now or a new one, better suited to your well-being. When you’re ready, I’m here to help you make your next steps clear.

    P.S. Burnout can also be a sign that you’re unfulfilled in your career, or that you don’t feel like you’re doing what you’re meant to be doing. Comment below and let me know if that hits home for you!

  • Start With Dessert

    Start With Dessert

    We save the “best for last.” We “treat” ourselves with the satisfying pleasure of tantalizing sweets at the end of the meal. That finishing touch.

    How does our propensity for dessert relate to knowing what’s right for our lives or career?

    Dessert just feels so good as a taste sensation. Career and life satisfaction feels so good too, and we expect it to be the reward of hard work or a good decision. We experience it as a result.

    What if, instead, we interpret that sensation as a guide? What feels good is a sign to keep going in that direction.

    When clients pay handsome dollars to gain clarity by working with me, they want to go right into their analytical thinking, measuring if I can possibly be smart enough to know what they are built to do with their lives. How do I know? What will I do with them that will make them know too?

    Oof. It’s exhausting.

    There is little that is analytical about my process. It’s a process to get you to FEEL again. No deep breathing exercises, no meditation assignments nor long journaling assignments.

    Nothing wrong with those methods, but I support my clients to feel their way out of the lack of clarity through a set of questions. Then, I measure the level of BS in the answers based on how it feels to me and to them. Sound crazy? Maybe, but it works.

    You can start paying attention to how things feel for you right now. Feels good? Proceed. Feels wrong? Nothing will change that and the longer you ignore it, the worse it will get.

    Now for the murky territory: Fear. Fear feels bad. Fear can be a reaction to something that feels good too!

    It feels good to be creative (let’s just say), but fear kicks in right away that it’s not sustainable, or people will not like what you create, or you can’t make time for something not related to your current job.

    In my recent work with a very unhappy career salesperson in their 40’s, he was sure he was ready for a change until he landed on what felt right as a future direction.

    He knew it was right, the exercises we did confirmed it, his financial situation presented no obstacles to the change, BUT he was terrified. What if he failed? What if he wanted to get his job back and couldn’t? What if, what if, what if?

    Dessert was ruined by the fear of gaining weight!

    Nooooooo! Enjoy the dessert. Follow the feeling. Decide by how it feels.

    DISCLAIMER: NO GLUTTONY
  • The Forecast for 2022: Happy New Year

    The Forecast for 2022: Happy New Year

    You’re receiving this while I’m on vacation with my family which is a great relief after a year of hard work, tripling my business, and caretaking extended family members.  Last year, I did a predictive post which is not my usual MO.

    I’m coming back this year to compare how those predictions played out and set the stage for what we need to think about in our businesses and careers in the new year.

    ⚡️ Prediction 2021: COVID-19 will obviously still be a factor for many months.

    Status: Correct

    Forecast:  We are not eradicating this virus anytime soon. Although many are more relaxed about it, we are not gaining enough traction to eradicate it in 2022
    ⚡️ Prediction 2021: Living anywhere you want is a possibility in 2021.  Remote work will not stop after COVID-19 restrictions ease up.
    Status: Correct
    Forecast: This will be a retention issue as the Great Resignation has emboldened many to have some sort of remote option be a condition for retention or hire.
    ⚡️ Prediction 2021: Your mental health, well-being, and physical health will matter more to companies than it has in the past after getting through COVID-19
    Status: Uncertain

    Forecast: Although many suffered mental health issues during COVID isolation, it is the employee who will make decisions based on keeping their mental health intact and the employers are going to take longer to realize they can no longer ignore the effects of the pandemic nor how the demands they make on the workforce affects their employees’ ability to be well and do their jobs.

    ⚡️ Prediction 2021: The gig economy got some respect during COVID-19 as many states recognized unemployment benefits for the self-employed for the first time. The gig worker is not going anywhere, and it is how many people will cope with industry changes and being laid off.

    Status: Correct

    According to Salesforce:  The Census Bureau reports more than 4.4 million new businesses were created in the U.S. during 2020 — the highest total on record. For reference, that’s a 24.3% increase from 2019 and 51.0% higher than the 2010-19 average. Half a million new businesses were started in January 2021, alone.

    Forecast:  I’ve been screaming this since 1998 when I wrote “Take Yourself to the Top”, we are moving away from the corporate life being the American dream. More and more people (women in greater numbers) will move to self-employment to tame work to fit their lives.

    ⚡️ Prediction 2021: The hospitality, live-entertainment, and restaurant industry will be back with a vengeance, yet the question remains as to how much damage was done and did these establishments survive long enough to be resuscitated?  I hope we will have fair lending practices to bring back these staples of our social and cultural life we took for granted.

    Status: I was wrong

    The business are back and demand is there but establishments can’t find enough workers. Folks are done with low wage, thankless jobs. And many report the rudeness and entitlement of Americans as a major factor in leaving these jobs if they attempted to come back to them post-shut down. Hospitality, Restaurant Servers and even Flight Attendants are over it.

    Forecast: Higher prices to cover higher wages required for employee retention.  I wouldn’t be surprised if we started to see more automation if workers abandon these fields altogether. Are you seeing more self-checkout at food markets?  Same concept.

    Outside of entertainment/travel, we’ve got teachers and nurses being large swaths of caring and devoted workers reaching their breaking point and looking for new careers. (I talk to them every week)  Shortage in these areas will greatly affect our society.

    There will be opportunity for younger folks to break in but if we don’t fix the core reasons why these folks are leaving their profession, it’ll be a perpetual problem.

    ⚡️ Prediction 2021: Climate events will continue to remind us who is in charge. The automobile industry decided to keep moving ahead with the development of clean energy cars despite some restrictions being lifted. They know that consumer demand is to save the earth, and the need to do so remains. When we are out of the COVID-19 disruption, people will think about this again.

    Status: Correct  But only on the climate events part. 100 people dead in Kentucky from tornados as I write this. What will it take for people to demand change?

    Forecast: Mother Nature will keep kicking our butts. It’s a new world and we do not have the infrastructure in place to withstand it. So if we did not prepare, we are forced into reaction mode. Which is more expensive? Preparing or reacting? Think of that in your businesses too.

    What should you be preparing for? What infrastructure is needed to withstand what’s ahead (not necessarily climate-wise)

    ⚡️ Prediction 2021: The political climate will improve slightly, but the country remains divided, so it will be up to the individuals to reset the tone.

    If a pandemic could not bring people together, a war won’t either. I’m reminded of a secular prayer:  Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.  Fear is divisive and creates scarcity. Peace within us requires hard work, but it needs to be done. Do your part in 2021.

    Status: Correct and I was wrong —Correct, that not much improved. Wrong, in thinking that people might get tired enough of division to evolve.

    Forecast: This is more of an intent than a prediction. Let’s start over. Press restart. Go see West Side Story if you didn’t see it yet. A remake of an old story of what hate does. It reminds us what the roots of hate are and shows us humans are slooooooow to learn.
    The root of hate is fear. Not understanding a person, a culture, or a race and instead of becoming curious, becoming suspicious and scarcity minded.  That fear leads to tribalism and the result is division.

    I wish you, your loved ones, your business team and all who matter to you, a prosperous new year filled with love, safety and inclusion.