People would be more compassionate
People would me more forgiving
People would be more thoughtful—giving and showing thanks
People would spend more time in wonder
People would invest in the power of magic and fairy dust
People would share extra hugs and laughter
People would think of those less fortunate
People would make connecting with others a priority
People would consider the transformative power of light in their lives literally and figuratively
—–The world would be kinder
I recognize that the holiday season can also be lonely and sad for many people. Gaining 8 lbs. and shopping into debt might not be a wise monthly practice, either. At the same time, banning politics from family gatherings might be a good year-round pact!
In all seriousness, as busy as this time of year is, it provides a wonderful year end/ new year ritual. To be in a time and place that reflects centuries of traditions, feeling rooted in things that matter, IS available to us every month and every day if we remember to focus there.
That centered feeling where priorities are clear is what I want for you. I, the team at InterCoach, Inc. and the Authorized Facilitators at Now What?® Coaching, wish you all a joyous holiday season and a year of feeling focused and clear on what matters to you.
Happy Holidays and a Focused New Year!
You think that life coaches don’t procrastinate? HA! Since I’ve put off writing this newsletter for three weeks, I figured there was no better topic this month than PRO-CRAS-TI-NA-TION.
I am a PRO: A pro-coach and a PRO procrastinator.
For some, procrastination is a lifestyle. For others, it messes with their well-being and even screws up their relationships, job and life. I tend to go in spurts. I will have times of warrior-ass accomplishment and times of procrastination that can last a verrrrryyy long time. I’m a good prioritizer, BUT a lot of the time, I will use the ability to prioritize as a way to put more fun, easy and attainable tasks ahead of ones that will take longer to complete or not have an instant tangible result. Writing a newsletter has no instant, tangible result. Will you open the email? Read it? Give a hoot? Do anything about it? (OK you get the picture).
What can you do about procrastination? No app, scheduler or best friend is going to help you the way you are going to have to help yourself. I know “just do it” is trite, so I’ll put it another way. Anyone who has ever tried to write a blog post (try a friggin’ book!) or had to pay a bill when money is tight, or get a report in on time, knows that you eventually just have to force yourself to do it. Yes, FORCE yourself.
The ANTIDOTE to PROCRASTINATING = sheer FORCE!
Set a timer, promise yourself a reward, deprive yourself of something, make a deal with the devil—-whatever it is that will work for you—-there is not magic; there is only WILL.
Accountability helps. This is where a friend can come in and help to FORCE you or reward you with whatever it will take. It’s also the step that coaches provide as a built-in bonus when working with clients. And this coach has her own coach (actually a few—the diet coach, the speaking biz coach and an assistant who has twice a week calls with me that force me to meet deadlines).
If you are a member of the nation — the PROCRASTI-NATION — know that you are not alone, but also understand that you ALONE must DECIDE who is going to win.
Will you be triumphant? Let me know.
(Hey! Thanks for reading. Maybe it was worth FORCING myself to write today).
Our dreams do not always come in the packages we expect.
When obstacles change our course, sometimes simply showing up to be around the passion, doing whatever is needed (even the small and tedious tasks) will reveal new way to be with what you love.
There are so many colors of truth: White lies, grey areas, lies by omission, exaggerated truth, and complete fabrication.
Which kind of liar are you? Who me?? Yes, you!
Don’t be so shocked. We all lie. We just get so used to it, that we don’t even consider it lying. Telling your kid their drawing is gorgeous, appeasing a boss with a twist of the truth, protecting yourself from pain or conflict—all of life’s scenarios present us with an opportunity to alter the truth as needed.
When it comes to your work and career, the truth is a challenging game. Outside of workplace politics, the truth about our level of satisfaction is often an intricate story we tell ourselves. It’s not always based in truth.
“The money is good. It’s fine.”
“I’m glad to have a job.”
“It’s not my dream job, but it’ll do.”
No harm done, you’d think. However, the truth is hard work. Once you tell it, you have to live up to it or go back to the safety of denial. I help people tell the truth and discover its liberation, and that it’s not as horrifically scary as they fear.
Well, that’s not true. It is horrifically scary, but it’s necessary. It’s essential to getting to the other side of a very brave journey – to arrive in that place where you’ve told the truth, dealt with the fear, taken action anyway and can now live in the new world with a whole new level of satisfaction.
In my twenties, facing the truth that I could no longer withstand the lifestyle required to pursue my theater dreams was one of the hardest truths I’ve had to face. Once the battle with admitting the truth was over, I could move forward. I didn’t have a clue as to what I’d do next, but finally admitting that I wasn’t where I wanted to be and I wasn’t willing to keep slogging, allowed me to be open to new ideas. One of them was to call an old mentor. He had become a coach – I had no idea what a coach was – the rest is history.
What is truth? How can you measure it? It’s often elusive, but telling the truth can clear the way for a greater truth to be told. The line keeps on moving. The truth can be blurry, so who exactly gets to decide what the truth is?
What’s true about your career or life situation?
Does it feel right?
Does it sit well with you?
Does it give you hope?
If the answers are yes, you’ve made great strides. AND when you take the time to ask these questions, you are measuring your happiness by a different standard. How it feels versus how you think it looks.
The idea that “the truth will set you free” suggests that in the telling, you are opening up the dam of blocked energy and ideas. It means you can stop holding your breath and instead allow the brain and body to be engulfed in the oxygen that will help generate ideas and action. Just as you can’t drive a car with a block in the gas line, you can’t operate smoothly in life with the truth buried deep in your being. It has to come out in order to move your life forward.
Are there consequences to telling the truth? There sure are. I can say with great certainty that even if the ride is bumpy and hard to start, maybe even painful, the work will be worth it. As Robert Frost said: “The only way out is through.” You will get through and things WILL be so much better.
So, if nothing is moving in your career or life the way you want it to, it’s time to tell the truth.
We’ll get it out of you. It won’t hurt as much as that last sentence made it sound like it would. Give us a call.