Author: Laura Berman Fortgang

  • Your Holiday Survival Kit

    Your Holiday Survival Kit

    Here come the holidays!

    As a coach, interfaith minister, and someone who’s walked with people through every kind of life challenge, I know this time of year can stir up a lot.

    We “plan” to celebrate, to rest, and to reflect every year.
    But we tend to end up feeling more depleted than restored every year.

    Whether you celebrate Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, New Year’s, or all of the above, holiday stress doesn’t just stay at the dinner table. It spills over into how you show up at work, in your business, and in your relationships.

    If we’re not intentional, the season can derail our energy, focus, and joy.

    I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know.
    But this year, I’m challenging you to actually do something about it.

    Your Holiday Survival Kit by Laura Berman FortgangLet’s go into this season with a few powerful reminders to help us protect our peace.
    I like to think of it as a Holiday Survival Kit.

    Just remember: NBC (like the network bringing us the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, Christmas in Rockefeller Center, Wicked: One Wonderful Night, etc.)

    These three letters could save your holiday season.

    N is for NO.

    Saying no is one of the most powerful skills you’ll ever learn.
    But let’s be real; it’s hard, especially if you’re used to being the glue that holds everything together.

    This year, try it anyway:
    No to the appetizer no one really likes.
    No to toxic conversations or exhausting obligations.
    No to saying yes just to keep the peace.

    Say no with love, but say it clearly and firmly, for your own well-being.

    B is for BOUNDARIES.

    No is a word. Boundaries are a practice.
    Decide ahead of time what you will and won’t accept:

    Want a politics-free holiday? Set that expectation now.
    Don’t want guests showing up an hour early? Say so.
    Need quiet time, rest time, or just space to breathe? Block it out.
    You don’t need permission to protect your energy.

    C is for COMPLIMENTS.

    The holidays are full of tension.
    One of the easiest ways to build connection is to offer genuine acknowledgment.
    Not fluffy flattery. Not surface-level “I like your sweater” talk.

    This year, shift from “I” to “you”:
    “You have great taste.”
    “You really brought this table to life.”
    “You’re such a steady presence.”

    We all want to be seen.
    If you can offer that to someone –
    to really see them – it’s a gift that costs nothing and means everything.

    Here’s the bottom line —
    You are a whole person, not just a professional or business owner with goals to hit and bills to pay.
    You deserve to enjoy this season, not just survive it.

    Say no when it matters.
    Set boundaries that protect what you value.
    Give compliments that connect.

    You’ve got the skills. You know this stuff.
    Now’s the time to put it into practice.

  • Start So You Can Finish

    Start So You Can Finish

    I’m in the midst of witnessing one of my favorite things about my job right now.
    It’s nothing new; I see it all the time, but it never gets old.

    I’m observing the beginning – the start of something good.
    And it makes me crave more – more beginnings, more emergence, more movement.

    Because the opposite is tough to watch. As a coach, I don’t want to see failure to launch.

    People come to me looking for answers (and a kick in the pants).
    But they think they need to figure everything out before taking the first step.

    “I just need to make a plan.”
    “I’m not sure if now is the right time.”
    “I want to be certain before I do anything.”

    Sound familiar? These are tell-tale signs of being stuck.

    I’ve been at this for decades, and I can say with confidence the thing keeping most people stuck isn’t a lack of ideas, skills, talent, or know-how.

    It’s the belief that you need to know it all before you start.

    But here’s the truth that surprises almost everyone:
    You won’t find certainty before you start. And you don’t need it, because…
    Starting creates certainty.

    Getting started is the only thing that brings certainty – or anything else for that matter – into being.

    One of my clients was struggling with uncertainty a few weeks ago and feeling stuck, stuck, stuck!
    She had a brilliant idea and great instincts, but little confidence that she could pull it off.
    She was overthinking every detail, caught in a loop, hesitant to hire me, unsure if she was ready.

    Fortunately, she decided to take the leap.
    In just three and a half weeks, she’s gone from paralyzed to productive.
    She has systems, a marketing plan, materials in place, and her first client just about ready to sign.

    What changed?
    She started.
    She didn’t gain confidence, and then take action.
    She took action, and the confidence sprang from doing.

    Start So You Can Finish by Laura Berman FortgangYou may think I’m oversimplifying this, but here’s what I want you to consider—
    Overthinking is a very sneaky form of self-sabotage.
    It feels like you’re doing something. It tricks you into thinking you’re being smart, sensible, and shrewd.
    But it’s
    really just hesitation dressed up as productivity.

    Hesitation keeps you safe, comfortable . . . and stuck.
    Action gets you moving, even if it’s messy.
    Once you’re in motion, everything starts to shift.

    Opportunities pop up.
    Momentum kicks in.
    Things begin to align and unfold even better than you could’ve planned.
    Planning takes on new meaning as your foundation takes shape.

    You can’t reach a destination – a successful business, a dream career, or any significant transformation – without starting first.

    Progress moves faster than you think. But the path you’re imagining isn’t clear until you take that first step. Certainty shows up when you start walking.

    Consider this permission, as well as a gentle push, from someone who’s been there, done that, and helped countless others hop over the fence and find their way.

    You don’t need to be sure. You need to be brave.
    Be willing to try, get it wrong, and start again.

    It gets easier every time. There’s a divine order in motion, but to tap into the path to success, you first have to get started.

    Let’s go!

  • A Mother’s Plea

    A Mother’s Plea

    We all have lives outside of our work.

    We’re business owners, professionals, coaches . . . and we’re also parents, partners, neighbors, daughters, and friends. We carry a lot. Some of what we carry is visible; a lot of it isn’t.

    One part of my life that doesn’t always make it into my content is that I’m a mom. That role enriches everything I do. Being the mom of a young adult with a disability continuously deepens my empathy and commitment to encouraging empathy among others.

    This week, I’m writing to you not just as a coach, but as a mother with a plea.

    November is Epilepsy Awareness Month, and my 24-year-old son has lived with epilepsy since he was a toddler. I don’t talk about it often, because it’s his life and his story. But like any parent, I carry it with me every day.

    Last weekend, my son went to New York City with friends – a totally normal milestone for many young people. But for us, it was a first, and I was nervous. Because while he’s made incredible strides and we celebrate every win, he still has seizures. And they’re not the mild kind he experienced as a kid anymore. These are fall-to-the-floor seizures that can happen anywhere, anytime.

    What I want to change? Most people don’t know what to do when a seizure happens. They sometimes assume it’s a reaction to drugs or alcohol.

    Epilepsy affects 3.4 million Americans. That’s 1 in 26 people in the U.S., and yet it’s still widely misunderstood. There are a lot of myths out there; one of the most dangerous is that you should put something in the person’s mouth if they’re having a seizure. Please don’t do that.

    Here’s what to do:
    Stay with the person until the seizure passes.
    Gently turn them on their side if possible.
    Put something soft under their head.
    If it lasts more than 5 minutes, call 911.
    Once it’s over, help them reorient, let them rest, and offer support.

    Epilepsy isn’t contagious. It’s not a reason to feel uncomfortable around someone. It doesn’t make someone any less worthy of employment, independence, or dignity. People with epilepsy can (and do!) live full, meaningful lives. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

    Here’s my request
    Use this month to raise your awareness.
    In the months that follow, stay curious about the people around you.

    If someone you know mentions a diagnosis – whether it’s epilepsy, a chronic illness, or something they’re navigating with a loved one – don’t just nod and move on. Ask questions. Offer support. Be a safe place for people to land.

    We’ve become so disconnected, suspicious, distracted, and so scared of saying the wrong thing, we say nothing at all. But the truth is, we need each other. If you’ve got a platform, whether that’s a newsletter or social media or a leadership position, use it to raise awareness and spread the spirit of caring.

    If you don’t have an audience, remember that you still have a voice.
    You’ve still got influence, even if it’s at your own dinner table or among your friends.

    The world needs more love. More listening. More presence.
    And it starts with seeing one another more clearly.

    Thanks for letting me share a piece of my life with you.

  • Collective Grief; Individual Action

    Collective Grief; Individual Action

    As a coach, it’s my job to help people keep moving forward – to grow, to lead, to reach their goals. But it’s also my job to be in tune with what’s really going on in the world, and how it’s affecting the people I serve.

    I’ve got to be honest: There’s a heaviness in the air right now.

    Maybe you’ve felt it too.

    It’s something I’ve noticed in conversations with clients, at events, and just being out in the world. There’s a current of grief running underneath everything.

    Some of it is personal: loss of a loved one, loss of health, loss of a dream.

    But a lot of it is collective. The grief of witnessing struggle, injustice, and even cruelty. The grief of watching the systems we rely on strain under pressure. The grief of seeing people turn on one another when we need each other most.

    Grief, at its core, is about loss. Many of us are grieving more than one thing at a time.

    I want to assure you…
    It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling.

    Yes, we’re professionals.
    Yes, we’re business owners, leaders, caregivers, and go-getters.
    Yes, the bills are still due, and the work still needs to get done.
    But that doesn’t mean we have to power through with a smile pasted on.
    You don’t have to put on a mask and pretend everything’s fine.

    Collective Grief; Individual ActionOur strength doesn’t come from pretending; it comes from our humanity.

    There’s a fine line we walk. We don’t want people to see us as “Negative Nancys” who bring the room down. But the truth is, there’s no shame in feeling sad over fractured relationships with friends or family. It’s okay to shed tears over the possibility of a child, elder, or other vulnerable human not having enough to eat. Or to worry that you’ll fall on hard times too. There’s no shame in feeling unsteady when the ground beneath us shifts.

    You’re allowed to grieve. You’re allowed to feel it.

    Just don’t carry it alone. Whether it’s talking to a therapist, a friend, a partner, or writing in a journal, find a way to share it.
    When we let our grief move, it moves through us.
    It makes space for compassion, for creativity, and for clarity.

    From that space – Take Action!
    Donate food. Offer help to a neighbor. Say something kind to a stranger.

    And then?
    Let yourself rest. Let yourself laugh. Let yourself feel joy when it comes.
    Those small sparks are not betrayal, they’re fuel. We need joy to keep going.

    Feel what you feel. Let it be messy.
    But don’t let it harden you.
    Let it remind you what matters. Let it connect you more deeply to others.

    That’s how we keep going – not by ignoring what hurts, but by honoring it and still choosing to move forward.

  • “Help! I need somebody…”

    “Help! I need somebody…”

    Last week, I had the biggest launch I’ve ever done.

    It had a lot of moving parts and a lot riding on it, and I’m thrilled to say it paid off.
    But I’ll tell you this right now: I didn’t do it alone.

    I had more support than ever before.
    More hands on deck. More mentorship.
    And that made
    all the difference.

    It’s made me think about how much we all need help. Whether you run your own business, hold down a full-time job, manage a household, or juggle all three (as so many of us do), there’s no trophy for doing it solo. But there is a cost. And for many people – especially high-achieving, ambitious, and capable professionals (and particularly women) – the cost is burnout.

    Why is this such a common issue? Let’s name what gets in the way.

    We’ve been conditioned to carry it all.
    To be helpful without needing help.
    To believe asking makes us weak, incompetent, or (gasp)
    a burden.

    And so we tell ourselves:
    “It’s easier if I just do it myself.”
    “I don’t want to bother anyone.”
    “No one else will do it right.”
    “I should be able to handle this.”

    Sound familiar?

    Here’s the truth I’ve learned, through experience and in my work as a coach:
    The people who reach their goals consistently, without burning out over time, are the ones who get help.

    I want you to ask yourself:
    “Where could you delegate at work or at home?”
    “What task could a freelancer or virtual assistant handle for you?”
    “Who in your circle would be happy to lend a hand…if you just asked?”

    Start small. Maybe it’s asking your partner to make dinner twice a week. Or paying someone to clean once a month. Or getting someone to do your social media graphics instead of stressing over it solo.

    Ask for help, and you’ll free up energy. Time. Creativity. You’ll start to build momentum in ways you didn’t think were possible.

    Remember, asking for help doesn’t necessarily mean people are doing you a favor. Whether engaging a professional, getting input from a friend, or reaching out to someone in your network for an introduction, support can be a win-win. Asking for help can strengthen relationships. Hiring help creates opportunities. Turning to people for help reminds them that they can turn to you, too.

    What’s on your plate right now – at work, at home, in your business – that would feel lighter with a little help? Make a list. Brainstorm.

    Don’t be surprised if you find yourself humming that old Beatles tune…
    🎵 “Help! I need somebody…” 🎵

    Because the truth is, you do. We all do.
    And once you see the power of it, you’ll never go back.

  • Is it time to change your lens? Shift your focus, change everything

    Is it time to change your lens? Shift your focus, change everything

    Last week, I found myself silently questioning every life choice that brought me to that moment.

    Let me back up.

    I recently joined a daily personal development program – something for me, not something I’m leading. It includes two workouts a week, and I was all in. Day one, I pushed hard. Too hard! I spent the next day walking around shaped like an S, nursing lower back pain and regret.

    When it came time to show up for the next workout, I had a choice to make.

    I could look through the lens of: “I’m injured. I can’t do this. Poor me.”
    Or I could ask myself, “What choice do I have right now that moves me forward?”

    I chose to show up. I modified the movements, I focused on form, and I listened to my body.

    Here’s the part that surprised me: By the end of the warm-up, the pain started to fade. I was able to keep going for 35 minutes into the 40-minute class. Not perfect, but powerful. I wrapped up thinking “yay me!” rather than “woe is me” that day.

    And that, right there, is what I want you to recognize – the power of the lens you choose.

    Is it time to change your lens? Shift your focus, change everything by Laura Berman FortgangYou don’t get to pick your circumstances. But you absolutely get to pick how you see them.

    You can see yourself as the victim of your situation, or you can decide to show up as the hero of your story.

    I’m not talking about being performative or pushing through when it’s unsafe. I’m talking about the small, meaningful choice to say, “Even if I can’t do everything today, what can I do?”

    That’s what makes the difference between spiraling and rising. As Brené Brown says:
    You either walk into your story and own your truth, or you live outside of your story, hustling for worthiness.”

    The lens you choose doesn’t erase reality. But it changes your relationship to it by reflecting a different view. It changes your next step. And over time, it changes everything.

    If you’re not sure how to switch your lens, here’s what I suggest…

    This weekend, I challenge you to take one situation you’ve been struggling with – something that makes you want to hide, shut down, or feel defeated – and ask:

    What lens am I using to view this right now?
    If I were the hero in this story, what would I do next?

    Even a small brave action, like showing up for a warm-up when you’re not sure you can handle the whole class, has the power to change how you see yourself. And that shifts the entire experience.

    I’ll leave you with this question:
    What lens are you looking through today?

    Choose the one that moves you forward. Step into the hero story.

    Read this quote again, and really let it sink in this time:
    You either walk into your story and own your truth, or you live outside of your story, hustling for worthiness.