Now What?® Coaching

from Laura Berman Fortgang

Laura Berman Fortgang

Life Lessons From A Disney Vacation

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Life Lessons From A Disney VacationAfter every holiday gathering, show and fun plan fell apart over the month of December, my family decided to forge ahead with our vacation to Orlando, Florida that we had been looking forward to for months. My young-adult children had their sights set on Disney (15 years after their childhood visit) and we just had to take the (COVID) risk and go.

The week in the parks put a spotlight on some lessons that might be worth sharing.

Planning

I can honestly say that many of my life’s highlights were moments that were unplanned but making dreams come true seamlessly takes a dance of flexibility and structure.

Getting reservations for meals at Disney is a competition that requires 5:40am wake up calls. Two days of failed attempts did not yield a spot at Cinderella’s Royal Table. We didn’t do that when my twins were six so it was on the 21 year old girl child’s must-do list. By day three of my failed attempts at the most desirable experiences, I had perfected a multiple-tabs-open strategy and landed a perfect dinner reservation in the castle. Whew!

So planning was key but the unplanned made the experience soar. We were pleasantly surprised that the ridiculously overpriced food was excellent AND that the servers cared so much that they made sure to move us to a window seat for dessert so we could watch the nightly fireworks from inside the castle. Oh my! Magic. My twenty somethings were struck like little kids and mom scored major points.

Lesson: Prepare AND let go! The magic is in the moment. The preparation creates the moment.

Values Are Your Guide

When I planned my wedding, I had a dream location in mind that was a 1940’s supper club. The price was so prohibitive that my budget would’ve allowed ten people at my wedding. I valued being surrounded by loving friends more than the location, so we changed plans.

Values informed the approach to the parks trip too. Staying on property at Disney comes with perks but I cared more about a) a place to spread out with a family of five (vrbmo) and b) not waiting on lines. The ridiculous system at the parks these days is about paying more for the privilege to skip the lines and yet I played that game. It was worth every dime to me.

Lesson: Values rule your choices, not marketing

Humans are thrill-seekers

It is astounding what we put up with to have a peak experience. Despite some fantastically short waits, our luck ran out on the Star Wars Rise of the Resistance ride. We couldn’t buy our way on or take the single rider line nor plan a fortuitous time to bypass the wait. SO, we waited AND the ride broke down adding to the time stuck in place. But guess what? People behaved. People entertained themselves and each other. Phones sure help pass the time and the ride was WORTH IT.

Climbing EVEREST, jumping out of a plane, building your body to peak shape—-whatever it is, we endure pain to win the prize.

Lesson: We will test our own limits to gain a thrill or a perceived prize.

Surrender Allows Wonder

By the time you board an attraction at these parks, you’ve done the hard work. (planning, scheming, waiting) You sit down, strap in and prepare to enter the unknown (or relive the familiar waiting to gain something new). Often, it’s more than your senses can absorb.

Wonder is the key ingredient and the trip begins. Is this why people indulge in psychedelics? Is this why virtual reality is so popular? There is a great adventure in crossing over from anticipation to real-time experience of the unusual and unknown. It’s a visit to the ‘beginner’s mind’ as well—taking in as much as you can, your senses and brain firing on all cylinders, your willingness to stay fully present (unless you are one to need to close your eyes), and landing on the other side assessing your experience. Was it good? What is disappointing? Do you need another turn to catch more of it?

Lesson: Life can be as thrilling if we mimic this suspension of disbelief

Last thought: “Is it really a vacation if you have to get up before dawn and have to walk 24K steps a day?”

Answer: Heck yes! We came home down on the scale after eating anything we wanted and donated a fridge full of midnight snacks we never ate (because we went to bed way before that) and NOBODY CAUGHT COVID!

Take a lesson and try it on for size.

* This was by no means meant to be an endorsement or guide to these attractions.
** I realize the privilege and ridiculousness of participating in the game.

Is It Time for Your Own Business?

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According to the Census Bureau, more than 4.4 million new businesses were created in the U.S. during 2020 — the highest total on record. For reference, that’s a 24.3% increase from 2019 and 51.0% higher than the 2010-19 average. Half a million new businesses were started in January 2021, alone.*

What does that mean for you if you’re thinking of making the leap? It’ll mean you’re not alone, you’re not crazy and that the time has finally come for you to oversee your own schedule and destiny.

Will it be easy? NO.

But is it possible? YES.

Here are some things to consider if you’re contemplating your corporate exit:

Time

Will you create a side-hustle or leap in full time? It can take one to three years to build a sustainable service business depending on your network and propensity for hustle.

Money

It’s not out of the question to be able to start a service-based business with a few thousand dollars if equipment is not needed, but it’s all about how fast you can get cash coming in.

Figure out if you’ll be funding this yourself and how long you can go without an income as you build. If you are going to try to secure funding from family and friends, make very clear agreement and discuss each other’s expectations.

Here is a general idea of some things to budget for and what to think about.

What are you selling?

Where your original idea can change over time, it’s important to know what you are offering and for how much. How will the marketplace value your service? Does it match what you hope for? Do some informal market research speaking to several people you feel might be potential customers down the road. Find competitors and get a sense of what is working out there.

(Note: If you test this with friend, they will not be a good gauge of your worth in the marketplace. They are not likely to offer up big numbers that they wouldn’t pay themselves but remember others might)

Gaps in strengths and knowledge

You have to be honest with yourself. What is the skill you can’t wait to charge for? The result you can’t wait to create? Then, ask yourself what could get in the way of you being paid to use/create that? Are you afraid to talk to people? Are you unclear about how to market your service or even how to have a sales conversation? Do you have a hurdle to climb when it comes to understanding the technology, you’ll need to be all things as a solopreneur?

It is critical that you do an honest assessment and start upgrading your skills to fill the gaps or identify a partner or help that could be a part of the business to make it succeed.

Your odds

Just like adding kids to your life, or buying a home, you can’t wait for the perfect timing because there is no such thing. However, the trend is here and it’s a favorable time. Remember though, that according to JP Morgan Chase statistics, roughly a third of new businesses exit within their first two years, and half exit within their first five years. The survival rate of new businesses has been remarkably consistent over time.

All that means for you is to do your homework and prepare. Consistency of action, some planning, and a tremendous amount of gumption (fear is a good motivator!) are what will put you over the top.

The Forecast for 2022: Happy New Year

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You’re receiving this while I’m on vacation with my family which is a great relief after a year of hard work, tripling my business, and caretaking extended family members.  Last year, I did a predictive post which is not my usual MO.

I’m coming back this year to compare how those predictions played out and set the stage for what we need to think about in our businesses and careers in the new year.

⚡️ Prediction 2021: COVID-19 will obviously still be a factor for many months.

Status: Correct

Forecast:  We are not eradicating this virus anytime soon. Although many are more relaxed about it, we are not gaining enough traction to eradicate it in 2022
⚡️ Prediction 2021: Living anywhere you want is a possibility in 2021.  Remote work will not stop after COVID-19 restrictions ease up.
Status: Correct
Forecast: This will be a retention issue as the Great Resignation has emboldened many to have some sort of remote option be a condition for retention or hire.
⚡️ Prediction 2021: Your mental health, well-being, and physical health will matter more to companies than it has in the past after getting through COVID-19
Status: Uncertain

Forecast: Although many suffered mental health issues during COVID isolation, it is the employee who will make decisions based on keeping their mental health intact and the employers are going to take longer to realize they can no longer ignore the effects of the pandemic nor how the demands they make on the workforce affects their employees’ ability to be well and do their jobs.

⚡️ Prediction 2021: The gig economy got some respect during COVID-19 as many states recognized unemployment benefits for the self-employed for the first time. The gig worker is not going anywhere, and it is how many people will cope with industry changes and being laid off.

Status: Correct

According to Salesforce:  The Census Bureau reports more than 4.4 million new businesses were created in the U.S. during 2020 — the highest total on record. For reference, that’s a 24.3% increase from 2019 and 51.0% higher than the 2010-19 average. Half a million new businesses were started in January 2021, alone.

Forecast:  I’ve been screaming this since 1998 when I wrote “Take Yourself to the Top”, we are moving away from the corporate life being the American dream. More and more people (women in greater numbers) will move to self-employment to tame work to fit their lives.

⚡️ Prediction 2021: The hospitality, live-entertainment, and restaurant industry will be back with a vengeance, yet the question remains as to how much damage was done and did these establishments survive long enough to be resuscitated?  I hope we will have fair lending practices to bring back these staples of our social and cultural life we took for granted.

Status: I was wrong

The business are back and demand is there but establishments can’t find enough workers. Folks are done with low wage, thankless jobs. And many report the rudeness and entitlement of Americans as a major factor in leaving these jobs if they attempted to come back to them post-shut down. Hospitality, Restaurant Servers and even Flight Attendants are over it.

Forecast: Higher prices to cover higher wages required for employee retention.  I wouldn’t be surprised if we started to see more automation if workers abandon these fields altogether. Are you seeing more self-checkout at food markets?  Same concept.

Outside of entertainment/travel, we’ve got teachers and nurses being large swaths of caring and devoted workers reaching their breaking point and looking for new careers. (I talk to them every week)  Shortage in these areas will greatly affect our society.

There will be opportunity for younger folks to break in but if we don’t fix the core reasons why these folks are leaving their profession, it’ll be a perpetual problem.

⚡️ Prediction 2021: Climate events will continue to remind us who is in charge. The automobile industry decided to keep moving ahead with the development of clean energy cars despite some restrictions being lifted. They know that consumer demand is to save the earth, and the need to do so remains. When we are out of the COVID-19 disruption, people will think about this again.

Status: Correct  But only on the climate events part. 100 people dead in Kentucky from tornados as I write this. What will it take for people to demand change?

Forecast: Mother Nature will keep kicking our butts. It’s a new world and we do not have the infrastructure in place to withstand it. So if we did not prepare, we are forced into reaction mode. Which is more expensive? Preparing or reacting? Think of that in your businesses too.

What should you be preparing for? What infrastructure is needed to withstand what’s ahead (not necessarily climate-wise)

⚡️ Prediction 2021: The political climate will improve slightly, but the country remains divided, so it will be up to the individuals to reset the tone.

If a pandemic could not bring people together, a war won’t either. I’m reminded of a secular prayer:  Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.  Fear is divisive and creates scarcity. Peace within us requires hard work, but it needs to be done. Do your part in 2021.

Status: Correct and I was wrong —Correct, that not much improved. Wrong, in thinking that people might get tired enough of division to evolve.

Forecast: This is more of an intent than a prediction. Let’s start over. Press restart. Go see West Side Story if you didn’t see it yet. A remake of an old story of what hate does. It reminds us what the roots of hate are and shows us humans are slooooooow to learn.
The root of hate is fear. Not understanding a person, a culture, or a race and instead of becoming curious, becoming suspicious and scarcity minded.  That fear leads to tribalism and the result is division.

I wish you, your loved ones, your business team and all who matter to you, a prosperous new year filled with love, safety and inclusion.

How Do You Measure A Year In The Life?

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In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife
In 525,600 minutes
How do you measure a year in the life?*

Another year is ending, and while we thought last year was unique as we endured a pandemic-induced disruption of daily life, this one has left us further changed.

Did you go back to work? Did you quit? Did you shift your priorities? Did you discover something new about yourself?

How do you measure this year in your life?

I’m measuring in time spent with people. A lot more with many and too little with some and then others who fell away due to safety protocols or truthfully, politics. It was a terrific year for my business, but my life is smaller, and I like it. Less travel, zoom rooms instead of large gatherings, and more time at home post shutdown than I would’ve expected.

I’m happier with a smaller sphere, reaching more people with less sweat, stress and miles crossed. The camera has become my friend. Not something hits extrovert, ex-performer would have expected.

How do you measure a year in the life?

Truth. Tears shared. Healing.
Music, togetherness, laughter.
Internet purchases, redecorating (still only half completed)
New connections, new community (online),
New knowledge, pushing up against the edges, testing limits
Breaking barriers, standing in strength
Allowing partnership, asking for help.
Learning, learning, learning. Crying some.
Laughter, laughter, more laughter.
Love. A return to love**.

How will you measure yours?

I wish you every wish come true for this season of light-filled holidays.

Work: Are You Bored?

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There’s a parenting practice where if your child complains that they’re bored, you come back with “If you have an imagination, there’s no such thing as being bored.”

And the parent sends the kid off to use their imagination and challenges them to create something to do.

What about you?

The adult version of bored, especially at work, speaks volumes about letting yourself be on autopilot for way too long and snuffing out any thoughts about a way out of what you’re doing now. This doesn’t apply to corporately employed job holders alone. It also applies to business owners and entrepreneurs who feel stymie by what they’ve created, even if it’s highly successful.

Unsettled and antsy? Or has it turned into depression?

Here’s what to do if you’re BORED.

Be aware

Feelings of angst, frustration, lethargy and sometimes despair can indicate that you have lost interest and satisfaction in your work.

Overthrow the outdated

This is a huge wake up call. It’s time to UPLEVEL. Gain new skills, admit it’s time for a new job and if you’re an entrepreneur give yourself a business challenge. It might be removing yourself more from your business, dropping the bottom third of your clientele, or entering a new market for your services.

Realize you’ve grown

It is possible to outgrow a job or career. You can coast and die inside, reinvent your work where you are or start the process of figuring out what is next. CLEARLY, any of these choices are easier said than done, but in my experience, those are the choices at hand.

Expect success

When boredom strikes, it’s a sign that you are not living up to your potential. You’re likely scared of making a move or trying something new, so you let that uncertainty fester into boredom and ennui. Although it may be hard to imagine, make moves to take that growth step and do so expecting success. You don’t have to let go of your sure-thing yet but start moving. Eventually, you’ll have no choice but to let go of the old (or at least the form it’s currently in).

I remember when someone I was coaching had been developing a side hustle through our work. There came a point where she resented her job because it was in the way of all the activities she wanted to be doing in her new business. That was the point at which we knew it was time for the leap. The side hustle wasn’t paying all the bills yet, but it needed all the time, effort and energy the job was taking to take it the last mile to full success.

She succeeded.

Delete doubt

Doubt. Fear. Whatever you want to call It. It’ll be there but don’t let it stop you.

Never stop moving forward. Keep moving the needle on your next reach. Boredom will dissipate. Energy will return. Feeling alive again will be worth beating the doubt.

If you have an imagination, you can’t be bored. Use your imagination to ‘Act As IF’ it’s already a done deal…THAT will beat back boredom, for sure.

The Pandemic Changed My Business: How One Question Might Help You

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The pandemic shut down was hard for so many people including people I know personally.

For me, it was fraught with challenges but turned out to be one of the best years I’ve had in a long time.

I shed 32 pounds after gaining 19 in the early months of the upheaval. Most of my work that required travel, public appearances and many active negotiations all died out to nothing.

I am fortunate to have coaching clients consistently and as crushing as it was to see my young adult children have the most exciting years of their youth brought to a complete halt, it was a treasured gift to have everyone under one roof for 18 months.

So many people contemplated their work and lives with the extra time at home and I’m not any different. Instead of drowning in anxiety about what I had lost and what the future might look like because of it, I decided to make a HUGE assumption that catapulted me into clarity and action and I’m so, so happy I did.

I said to myself: “SELF!—Proceed like none of it is coming back.”

I transformed my Now What? Coaching business, producing and delivering a new online version available to more people than I could possibly serve one on one  in my coaching practice.

I’ve given work to the coaches I’ve trained to use my methodology as a result and we’ve doubled the business. (Oh, and the other work has come back too!)

But here is what I really want to tell you.

I’m starting a second business. I’m not giving up my career coaching work nor the company that houses it. I am adding on something that I haven’t done since my early days as a founding member of the International Coaching Federation: serve coaches.

82% of talented people who train as a coach, quit within two years. As an ex-actor those numbers hit me extra hard because they are way too close to the numbers that the actors’ unions report about the percentage of members who don’t work.

That is UNACCEPTABLE to me. I have 27 years of experience and I’m preparing to share everything I know that has allowed me to sustain a profitable business through three huge economic downturns, the game-changing world of social media and more that is not worth dating myself over.

Every downturn in my business and life has become a catalyst for new growth and discoveries. They are not fun or particularly joyous and they can be outright painful, however, the sooner we mourn the loss, the sooner we can innovate.

I invite you, if you are in a valley, to adopt my question above: “What if it (the industry, the job, the money or even a person) is not coming back? Stop waiting and start moving.

I’m pumped up about my new offerings coming up and look forward to continuing to serve all you Now What?’ers who have stuck with me over the years!