Now What?® Coaching

Tag: coaching

Why did I get “L❤️VE” tattooed on my arm?

If you missed last week’s note, I talked about the lessons I learned hanging out in a tattoo parlor over the holidays, and it sparked some curiosity —

• Why a tattoo?, and L❤️VE?

I touched on it briefly, but it probably deserves further explanation.

What makes a woman approaching a certain milestone birthday suddenly get a tattoo?

Why choose L❤️VE?

And how does this relate to what we’re here to learn — about careers and business?
Well, I’ll tell you…

I’ve been a longtime student of A Course in Miracles — “a universal, metaphysical, self-study program of spiritual psychology.”

If you’ve never heard of it, I encourage you to go check it out. It’s a massive text, fascinating, and full of lessons for life.

One of my biggest takeaways from studying A Course in Miracles is this:

Every thought we have is either based in FEAR or it’s based in LOVE.

I chose to get LOVE tattooed on my wrist as a reminder to choose love.

Because fear is loud and intrusive and it will always take over … if you let it … if you forget that you always have the option to choose love.

This has been a constant challenge for me throughout my life, but even more so, over the past two years as a caregiver. It takes a lot to remember—in every moment—to be patient, present and choose love.

My tattoo is the beautiful reminder I needed.

Connecting more intentionally with love has also impacted my coaching and my business relationships. Every day, my clients and associates are either coming from fear, or they’re coming from love.

Here’s what I mean…

I had a long time client who wanted to move from the corporate world into nonprofits. But she was afraid to give up her corporate salary.

After working together through the fear and avoiding rash decisions, we were able to identify a perfect solution—joining the philanthropic arm of the corporation, which positioned her for a smooth transition into leadership in the nonprofit world later.

She chose love over fear and won.

Fear often blocks money too. If you’re afraid to ask for the money you want, you won’t get it. If you’re afraid of hearing no, you’ll underbid.

If you charge too little or accept a lower salary, you’ll quickly resent your clients or boss and take on headaches you could have avoided.

To find more peace, happiness, and success in life, you must remember to choose LOVE — including self-LOVE — in everything you do.

Choosing love over fear will always win in the end.

January 19, 2023
Holy Wow. Another Year. Can This One Really Be Different?

What am I going to say? Of course, I’m going to say YES. Yes, it can.

There will always be circumstances beyond our control, and we will simultaneously have free will. Let’s put it to work.

I’m sitting down to write this after a local business morning networking group on the very first business day of the year. I had joined a couple of months back and was “giving it a chance.”

After more than two years of COVID isolation, I wanted to see people again and play closer to home. However, this morning it was very clear that I was not investing my time and energy in something that is worth “giving a chance” to, despite my best efforts.

I had all the evidence I needed: small-minded, scarcity mindset from a member fearing competition, broken agreements with me by another member, and finally, shoddy work on display from another. All in the scope of two and a half weeks.

There was a time where I may have waited things out for several months, or where I would be starting to miss meetings instead of telling the truth about what was not in alignment for me.

If you can relate and you’re wondering if you should stay with a group, a company, or even a relationship, take a look at some ways to shift your perspective that might be helpful:

Where do you retreat? Where do you advance? Keep this in mind as you make decisions.

You can make this a different year, just by being willing to put up with less nonsense. That’s what I’m doing. Care to join me?

January 6, 2023
How to Make Your 2023 Burnout Free

I don’t have to tell you we’ve all been through a tough few years.

Collectively.

Like me, you’ve probably had some personal things going on individually too. But the shared experience of a global pandemic, political unrest, economic uncertainty, and more is clearly taking its toll on us.

The zeitgeist is groaning about BURNOUT, and the grumble keeps getting louder.

The Great Resignation, the “return to office” push, quiet quitting, and the looming recession (or not?) are all symptoms of and contributors to this aggregate fatigue.

Burnout is on everybody’s mind. If you’re not suffering from it, you know someone who is.

I haven’t been quiet about the fact that it hit me hard in 2022. Even with all of my awareness and tools as a Master Certified Coach, it was rough.

Fortunately, I was able to recognize what was happening and knew exactly what to do. But I learned some valuable new lessons too.

If you find yourself struck with a bout of burnout, here’s what you need to know to cope and hopefully avoid it in the future —

1. You can’t outrun burnout. 

Once you’re crispy and toasty around the edges, working harder to overcome it won’t work. You have to accept it and surrender to the idea that some balls are going to be dropped. And that’s okay!

Being in a prolonged state of fight or flight means your nervous system is shot and you’re heading into adrenal fatigue. You have to focus your remaining energy on healing. (Google: “how to heal adrenal fatigue”)

Eating nutritious foods, moving your body, spending time in nature, and meditating can make a tremendous difference in supporting your physical and emotional health.

2. You must ask for support. 

Not getting the kind of support you want? Chances are at least some of the people that seem to have abandoned you are having trouble coping too, or they simply don’t know what to do.

Ask for the help you need; be specific. You’ll find that folks often step up … but only when you call on them. Let them know when, where, and how to show up for you.

The calvary may not be coming to your rescue, but you’ll have more help than you had before the ask — enough to take some of the pressure off.

3. Stop overperforming. 

All too often, we set unsustainably high expectations for ourselves, and people come to expect us to go above and beyond. But the reality is, we’re overdoing it in ways that are just not necessary.

It’s time to focus on what really makes a difference — in your job, your family, and all aspects of life. Drop the perfectionism and embrace what matters most.

4. Be careful with your media consumption. 

When you’ve run out of gas and want to chillax in front of the TV, steer clear of shows that trigger fear or toxic thoughts.

My recommendation these days? The Waltons. Yes, the old 1970s classic that harkens back to Depression-era/WWII-homefront perseverance. Trust me on this! It’s wholesome, progressive, endearing, and just the thing to put your mind at ease and lift your spirits.

I hope you’ll use these tips to ease into 2023 refreshed, recharged, and ready to take on the new year with zeal.

December 9, 2022
The Often-Overlooked Secret Behind Success

In my line of work, I get to meet a lot of interesting people with interesting stories.

We’re talking about career change and personal growth, so these stories often include tales of facing obstacles, reevaluating priorities, and starting or scaling a business.

I coach folks throughout their journey, so we’re meeting at various stages along the way.

Sometimes they’re working a corporate job with dreams of making a side business their full-time gig.

Sometimes they’ve started a business but hit a plateau because they have too much on their plate and not enough help to get it all done.

And sometimes they’re somewhere in between…

We’re all grappling with various questions and challenges, and that’s okay — as long as we’re willing to ask for guidance, help, and input from those who are a few steps ahead.

No matter what it is, there’s always someone who’s been there, done that, and can make the next leg of your career or business journey easier for you.

A couple of weeks ago, I had the opportunity to sit down with Sadie Prestridge — founder of Prestridge & Co., an Executive Virtual Assistant agency.

An interesting person with an interesting story, I invited her to sit down with me and chat on my weekly Friday Focus. (You can catch me Fridays at 10am eastern on my Linked in Profile, Instagram (@LauraBFortgang) or our Facebook Group HERE)

You won’t want to miss this conversation — Watch in our Facebook Group

If you’re a business owner, feeling overwhelmed by all of your to-do’s — and not even sure what to do day-to-day to grow sustainably — here’s a tip: you have to hire help before you need it. It’s the only way to level up without coming unglued!

This is the often-overlooked secret behind the success stories you hear about.

Sadie shared some fantastic, practical advice that will help you identify, prepare for, and find the kind of support you need.

Only familiar with task-oriented virtual assistants? You might be surprised by what an executive VA can do.

If you’re working a day job, looking to quit, and wondering what it really takes to go out on your own, Sadie also shares the behind-the-scenes scoop on what it took to get her agency off the ground (sans the phony overnight success nonsense we’re all so sick of hearing). I think you’ll find her story inspiring.

December 4, 2022
Here’s How to Overcome Procrastination

We’re heading into the holiday season, and I’m hearing lots of talk about hanging it up for the year — postponing job searches, client prospecting, and important projects until January.

Yes, you deserve a break and plenty of time for celebrations. But in many cases, the holidays are just the excuse du jour to cover for a stubborn case of procrastination.

Procrastination is a tough habit to break. We know better, yet we keep doing it anyway.

You put something off for far too long, and you kick yourself later. It could’ve been so much easier, less stressful, and more successful if you’d timed it better.

So what gives?

Why do we continue procrastinating when we know we’ll pay the price for it?

It could be any number of things, but the big one: FEAR

This sometimes surprises people. “Fear? Fear of what!?” You convince yourself that you’re putting things off because you’re busy or tired or have too much else going on. And sometimes you just don’t wanna.

But more often than not, there’s something else going on beneath the excuses.

When I dig a little deeper with clients, here’s what I find:
Fear of failing. “What if my idea totally bombs?”
Fear of not being good enough. “What if I try and don’t make the cut?”
Fear of conflict. “What if I bring this up, and they get upset with me?”
Fear of success. “What if my book’s a hit, and I have to be in the spotlight?”
Fear of change. “What if I lose the weight and look so great I can’t handle the attention?”

All of this leads to procrastination. It sends us into loops of anxiety about doing it and not doing it. It stops people from achieving their goals.

How do you overcome procrastination?

Look at the fear behind it. That’s where you’ll find the keys to what you need to unlock.

Take some form of action. Pick one: Do it. Delegate it. Dump it. Don’t know how to do it, or don’t want to? Delegate it. If it’s truly not a priority? Dump it and let it go. Clear the way for what’s most important.

Focus on the prize. What’s your WHY? As the outcome of doing this thing — what do you want to have? Who do you want to become? Dangle the carrot and go after it.

In my line of work, I encounter far too many people who let procrastination stop them from making their next move. Whether it’s something routine that needs to get done, a power play needed to make progress, or pursuing a big scary life changing dream — don’t let procrastination stop you.

It’s a habit you can break if you recognize it for what it really is and commit to working on it.

November 20, 2022
Career Change in the Land of Possibility

I was working with a client recently who had 23 years of experience in the mortgage industry. She didn’t think she could do anything else because her resume said she was a professional lender. This client honestly couldn’t imagine any other possibilities.

I had my work cut out for me, but I knew my methods were proven and that we’d find new paths. Above all, as a coach, you know our job is to stand in the Land of Possibility. We can’t believe the “story” that there are no other options.

That doesn’t mean we are out of touch with reality. I’m always telling my clients I’m not going to lead them off a cliff or ask them to run away with the circus. I am here to help them decide where to invest their time, attention, and energy.

Are they investing in what can’t happen? Or are you investing in what CAN happen? Are you investing in what can’t happen or what can? (for yourself)

Consider this —

People often tell me they can’t land their dream job, change careers, reach for their dream income, or start a business because of their age.

Is there some truth to that? Yeah!

But does it serve you to dwell on it? Does the fact that limits exist mean you should sit at home, doing nothing — investing in the impossibility of your next moves? Of course not.

Limitfull thinking won’t get you anywhere.

When you’re a committed pessimist, you are vying for the worst possible outcome — fully vested in proving yourself right. But what if you’re wrong? Why pursue defeat?

This is why it’s important to make a distinction between what’s possible and what’s probable.

Think about it…

When we first created the U.S. Space program, did we think it was probable that we’d make it to the moon on the first shot? Well, it wasn’t likely. But somebody had to think it was possible, or why bother? And look what happened.

Now consider what you’re telling yourself about your career:
”I’m too old.”
“I don’t have the enough experience.”
“Nobody’s gonna hire me.”
“This’ll never work.”

Does investing in this “impossible” thinking serve you? No.

What does serve you is standing in the Land of Possibility.

With my client — the professional mortgage expert I mentioned earlier — we broke down the blocks she was experiencing, and l got her back in touch with all the things she LIKES to do but had stuffed down as impossibilities.

That list came in handy when she found herself facing big industry shifts and a potential layoff two months later.

Rather than staying stuck in the “impossible,” I challenge you to invest your time, attention, and energy into what’s possible too.

I challenge you to do the work and explore the Land of Possibility with clarity and gusto.

October 30, 2022