Are Your Knuckles White?

by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

white-knuckle: adj.

1. causing fear, apprehension, or panic

2. experiencing fear, terror, or apprehension

When I hear the term ‘white-knuckling’ I get the image of someone dangling from a cliff or a building holding on for dear life. And it’s that image that comes to mind working recently with two career transition clients. Two wonderful, smart people holding on for dear life to old versions of themselves,  knowing full-well they needed to move on to new horizons but unable to do so because of overwhelming fear.

Are you white knuckling? It sounds so simple when it’s someone else, right? What are they afraid of, you might ask? What’s the big deal?

In one case, the big deal was a doctor fearing she might never get back into medicine if she left it. The other stay-at-home wife who suddenly needed to find a way to make her own way in the world. “Who would hire me? What could I possibility do?”, she kept saying to herself and me.

The hardest part about both of these scenarios was not finding an answer to the future. The hardest part was prying their fingers off the ledge. It took a handful of weeks for each of them, but once they let go, the answers started to come quickly and the ‘coincidences’ that led to new opportunities multiplied equally fast.

If you are similarly stuck, how do you let go of the ledge?

Left Brain/Right Brain: Your left brain will feed you all the logical reasons why considering a new move would be career suicide and detrimental to your safety. (After all, not changing, your left-brain and ego will tell you, is safer than changing)

Your right brain conjured up the new direction you are considering and your body has told you over and over how very miserable you are feeling as you maintain the status quo.

The two will be in conflict until you let go of the ledge. Decide with the following criteria:

What Feels Good?: Fear will make this tough to discern, but under calm consideration, which feels better? The scary scenario your left-brain has conjured up or the scary (but admittedly exciting) scenario your right brain is suggesting?

Get out of your head for a moment and really FEEL the two. Spend a few minutes, with your eyes closed, imagining what it feels like to stay where you are, safe in the comfort of what you know. Then, switch and do the same and feel what it feels like to live in the possible new scenario.

Which feels better? Now, which state would you rather live in?

Peel Away Your Grip: Now let go. Take a few steps in whichever direction you decided felt better. Talk to a few people in the new area of possibility or make some new moves where you have decided to stay.

Start moving in the world of your next step. See how that world responds to you. Upon letting go of the ledge, you should expect to feel better. If you don’t, repeat step two and try again.

It’s my experience that when clients relax their grip on the past (white knuckling), the luck and synchronicity they encounter moving forward is remarkable. It still takes effort, and fearless networking, but the YES’s come faster and faster.

Our doctor let go of her old position and started talking to people about different healing modalities and integrative medicine practices outside of mainstream medicine and is now signed up for  training and conferences in these new areas of interest. In her heart, she knew that her place was in the healing arts. That could appear in many forms, but she needed to leave the old one she was clinging to in order to find any new possibility.   There is no shortage of opportunities or people to talk to now that she’s stopped white-knuckling.

Our newly independent woman has landed her first job with a very decent paycheck, turning her personal interests and very capable volunteer–based  leadership experience into a Managing Director title in a New York City organization.

Are your knuckles white? Stop doing your best Indiana Jones imitation and LET GO.

Not sure where to begin? Have your questions answered about your career transition and hear from other like-minded folks. JOIN our FREE Now What?® Community Call on May 21^st.