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The Making of a Drama: Fact vs. Interpretation

By Laura Berman Fortgang on November 22, 2019

The post-conference photo of the office staff on Instagram had two people on the farthest right and left cut out of it. Was it a purposeful slight to those people or did the person who posted not know how to use the feature where you can pinch the screen to fit the whole photo in?

Should this be the making of an office drama? You get to decide.

Drama prone people will jump to the conclusion that fits their narrative and fears and be certain their interpretation is correct. They will begin to spin out about it. They will gossip about it, act out emotionally and perpetuate the drama with retaliatory action or building resentment, and they will poll others to gain consensus that their interpretation is correct. People who notice the photo but have no interest in drama might make another assumption or ask the posting party if the edit was intentional and help them learn how to do it properly the next time.

The Making of a Drama: Fact vs. Interpretation

If you love drama, gossip, feeling “in the know,” feeling powerful by building negative narratives about other people, then you either belong in politics or enjoy the adrenaline high you get from the feeling of temporary power (or both!)

This drama dynamic exists in families, workplaces, schools, social clubs, houses of worship, charity boards, volunteer groups—anywhere people gather and have to work together on projects or share common goals.

Think about it. Where would you rather spend your time? Moving a project forward or hunkering down in a gossip fest? Hey, I get it. Sometimes gossiping is fun, but let’s get serious. Ultimately we want the successful outcome of a gathering, endeavor, project, or contract.

How do we accomplish that? It’s simple; stick to the facts and question your interpretation of them.

Fact: The project is not on schedule
Interpretation A: Johnny is not doing his part
Interpretation B: Nobody cares as much as I do
Interpretation C: There isn’t timely or even enough communication between team members
Interpretation D: This is a disaster and there’s nothing I can do
Interpretation E: Maybe there is something going on with one of the team members personally that is affecting their performance

One fact, multiple interpretations. Usually the facts are pretty clear to all parties. It’s the interpretations that create the problem. We all filter what we see through our own perception based on our make-up and experience and level of personal growth. There’s a very simple solution: Ask questions. Get a handle (without accusations) on what is going on. Not everyone will be truthful, especially if asked a direct question, but you can overcome that.

Here’s a formula: Deal with the FACTS

Fact: Get everyone to agree on the fact—Do we all see the same thing? i.e. the project is not on schedule

Assumption: What are we assuming about this? What interpretation is dominant?

Check: Are there other interpretations we can assess or discuss?

Target: What do we need to do to adjust (without BLAME) and what action can we agree to moving forward?

Set: Set new targets, goals, make agreements and explore consequences of not meeting the next benchmark

Go! Move on. Be done. Don’t entertain the gossip or the drama. Don’t take the bait and get caught on drama’s hook. Your team/committee and the outcome of your project will be better for it.

The Instagram post? Fact: A couple of people were cut out. Assumption: Choose the one that moves everyone forward. Stop the drama in its tracks.

You’re welcome.

Small minds discuss people.
Average minds discuss events.
Great minds discuss ideas.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Filed Under: Lessons Learned, Life Lessons, Now What? Newsletter Articles Tagged With: Clarity, Laura Berman Fortgang, Now What CoachingLeave a Comment

Those Questions…

By Laura Berman Fortgang on October 24, 2019

Let’s face it, when you’re looking for another job, there a lot of questions that you will have to grapple with!

Here is some advice that reminds you to go beyond what you think will sound good or “right” to the interviewer. And whether they ask these particular ones or not, they are good to think about as you engage in the search.

How to Answer “What Are Your Short/Long-Term Goals”

Filed Under: Job Change, Job Search Tagged With: career, Career Change, Career coach, Career Coaching, Now What Coaching, OpportunityLeave a Comment

Strip Away Your Past – Reinvent Your Future

By Laura Berman Fortgang on September 30, 2019

Pun intended!

Here’s how one woman changed everything to follow a new career path that better suited her.

How to Reinvent Yourself at Any Age

Filed Under: Inspiration to Follow Your Blueprint, Job Change, Job Satisfaction, Reinventing Yourself, Taking Action Tagged With: Career Change, Career coach, Career Coaching, career path, career reinvention, Change, Clarity, entrepreneurs, life coach, new direction, Now What CoachingLeave a Comment

A Surprising Way to Learn a Little More about Yourself

By Laura Berman Fortgang on September 9, 2019

When it comes to crafting your resume, there are things you might overlook or take for granted.

It might be worth combining your personal attempts with an automated resume builder – at least that’s what this writer discovered. Can’t hurt to give it a try!

4 Surprising Career Lessons I Learned From Using a Free Resume Builder

A Surprising Way to Learn a Little More about Yourself through Crafting Your Resume

Filed Under: Job Change, Job Search, Lessons Learned, Life Lessons Tagged With: Career coach, Career Coaching, entrepreneurs, Laura Berman Fortgang, Now What CoachingLeave a Comment

Allow Your Intuition to Lead

By Laura Berman Fortgang on August 23, 2019

When contemplating a career change, sometimes the mind is only part of the decision-making team.

Allow Your Intuition to LeadHere are some ways to tap your intuition about when it’s time to leave your current situation, and what might be next.

Allow your intuition to connect you to the “who” you are becoming.

How To Build Your Career On Intuition

Filed Under: Job Change, Job Search, Taking Action Tagged With: career, Career Change, Career Coaching, career path, career transition, Change, Laura Berman Fortgang, life coach, Now What Coaching, take actionLeave a Comment

Shifting Gears to Fulfill a Childhood Dream

By Laura Berman Fortgang on August 5, 2019

No role models.
No expectation to even go to college.
A dream beaten out of him.

And yet, this dream did not entirely disappear, and now this man is able to say, “Finally, I am free of this, and I can go after something I’ve always wanted.”

Shifting Gears to Fulfill a Childhood Dream

Car mechanic shifts gears, becomes a doctor at age 47 and helps address shortage of black doctors

Filed Under: Following Your Passion, Inspiration to Follow Your Blueprint, Job Change, Job Satisfaction, Taking Action Tagged With: beat the odds, career, Career Change, career path, career reinvention, Clarity, Following your passion, new direction, Now What Coaching, passion, take actionLeave a Comment

Dare to Dream!

By Laura Berman Fortgang on July 18, 2019

Follow your dreamsBottom line: “Life is short. Our days are numbered, so why spend them doing something we don’t love? It’s time to make a decision to go for it.”

If you don’t try, you’ll never find out what might be possible. You have one life. Don’t miss it!

11 Reasons Why It’s Important to Follow Your Dreams

Filed Under: Following Your Passion, Inspiration to Follow Your Blueprint, Job Satisfaction, Lessons Learned, Life Lessons, Taking Action Tagged With: Career Coaching, career path, entrepreneurs, Following your passion, Now What Coaching, take actionLeave a Comment

Trust Your Gut!

By Laura Berman Fortgang on July 2, 2019

When making key decisions (like what job is the “right” one for you), it’s great to know that one of our strongest guides lives within us – our intuition.

Trust your intuitionRather than taking a bunch of assessments or seeking outside counsel, when we learn to tune in and trust the guidance that comes from our gut feelings, we are far more likely to land on something that really resonates.

Deploying Your Intuition to Find Your Ideal Career

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: career, Career coach, Career Coaching, career path, Clarity, Laura Berman Fortgang, Now What CoachingLeave a Comment

Fumbling at Forty?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on May 29, 2019

It happens . . . things go along well for a couple of decades, and suddenly you find life has happened in unexpected ways, and you’re not sure how to enter a new career path.

Making a Career Change at 40Be gentle with yourself as you begin moving forward. Here are some things to consider to support you along the way.

I’m Ashamed of My Work History and Want to Make a Career Change at 40
 

Filed Under: Job Change, Job Satisfaction, Job Search, Lessons Learned, Life Lessons, Reinventing Yourself, Taking Action Tagged With: career, Career Change, Career coach, Career Coaching, career path, career transition, Change, Laura Berman Fortgang, Now What CoachingLeave a Comment

Might it be Time for a Change?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on May 22, 2019

Sometimes we have an inkling that it’s time to look for a new career, but we don’t quite trust it.

Might it be Time for a Change?Here are some clues that it might be time to pay attention and take some steps toward exploring “now what?”

5 Reasons to Consider Changing Careers

Filed Under: Job Change, Job Satisfaction, Job Search, Taking Action Tagged With: career, Career Change, Career coach, Career Coaching, career transition, new direction, Now What Coaching, take actionLeave a Comment

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