Spin A Different Yarn

by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

Stories make up a big part of who we are. It’s how we relate to our past, it’s how we create our future, it’s how we entertain ourselves and sometimes, how we escape. In  coaching, especially career change coaching, stories believed too stubbornly can be exactly what is keeping someone stuck.

How do you know if that’s you? Your life may feel cyclical. Progress followed by setbacks of a familiar nature over and over. Fits and starts.
Also, bumping up against the same obstacles time after time. It’s not bad luck. It’s a belief system that needs to manifest into proof that you are right, giving you more evidence to keep believing the “story”. And if you believe it, you tell it and therefore, perpetuate it.

For example, Joseph could not see himself breaking out of investment banking into teaching which was what he really wanted to do because he believed wholeheartedly, it would be a long process full of rejection. He felt he did not have a long enough list of qualifications and that it would be one hurdle after another if he tried to make a change. Speaking to others who made similar changes gave him examples that it was possible, and having interviews that showed him the certification process would not take long should have also served to break the old story. However, he just could not let it go and start writing a new story.

Another example might be believing everyone is nasty or out for themselves. In turn, this makes you nasty or defensive so they are nasty back and there you go—another story that’s proven over and over again.

To spin a different yarn seems very phony at first. That’s because the new story is not true yet. It’s fiction. It’s not yet entrenched in the fiber of your being resonating through every nook and cranny.

It becomes your job to make it true and unfortunately, waiting to see proof first won’t work. Seeing is not believing. Believing makes you see it! It switches your attention off of everything that could go wrong or that is not working and puts it on the possibilities and the connect-the-dots magic of creating a new path.

Have you ever bought a new car only to notice once you are driving it, how many like it are on the road? That’s the effect we are looking for. What happened was that suddenly your attention was on cars just like yours and you kept seeing them everywhere! Were they there before? Certainly, but you weren’t looking for them.

Creating a new story means looking for the elements that can make it come true until you don’t have to work to find them anymore. That happens once the new story is woven into the tapestry of your life and becomes true.

What’s your story?

Are you broke? Are you lazy? Are you put-upon by circumstances? Are you a victim of corporate greed or a relationship gone sour? Are you so in love with your savings account that you can’t invest in yourself to get on a new course?

Start telling a story of what you CAN create instead of replaying those old eight-track tapes in your head (for youngsters, stop playing cassettes and for really young ones, stop playing those CD’s).

Let us know how we can help rewrite your career story.