The Neuroscience of Selling

I often hear people say they hate selling. It usually sounds something like this —

“I’d start my own business, but I hate sales. I’m not any good at it…”
“I’m great at what I do, but I’m bad at selling it. I wish I didn’t have to sell; I hate it!”
“I hate being sold to, so I hate selling. Nobody likes salespeople; I want people to like me.”

It always makes me cringe a little bit because — I hate to break it to ya — there’s no way around selling. You can’t avoid it. We’re all selling, all the time.

Whether you’re selling your services…
You’re a parent selling your kid on going to bed…, negotiating a raise at work…,
and trying to get your friends to try a new restaurant…

You’re selling your ideas, and your point of view.

But the idea of selling is such a charged thing for people to grapple with. And it all comes down to neuroscience.

When you’re the one being sold to, your brain goes into fight or flight mode.

When you’re the one doing the selling, your brain’s fear of rejection shoots adrenaline into overdrive.

Our reptilian brain is scrambling for safety, and sales can feel like a threat.

Personally, when I’m in a situation where someone is trying to sell me something, I want to be in control. It’s my way or the highway. If I want to think about it, my guard is automatically up.

How do you handle the people you want to sell to?

The first order of business is to calm your nervous system. Then, think about how you can help the other person get out of fight or flight.

Think about common objections:
“I don’t have the time…”,” don’t have the money…”,and  need to go ask my spouse…”

Don’t go on the offensive and try to convince them to ignore their own defenses. Instead, try this —

Thank them for sharing their concern with you.

This will immediately help them feel relieved that they don’t have to fight back.

Next, use what Dr. David Hawkins calls “green words” (as opposed to the “red words” you want to avoid in a selling scenario). These are the words that invite them to keep talking and keep the lines of communication open.

The idea is to use the neuroscience of selling to ensure everyone gets their needs met.