Tag: taking risks

  • WHAT MAKES LUCK FLOW?

    by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

    It is often debated whether you can make your own luck or not.  Personally, I find my luck-making skills to be seasonal but fundamentally in place and ever-improving.  However, through 20 years of clients and hundreds of Now What? ® Facilitator anecdotes, there is enough evidence to point to the circumstances that cause great luck to find you.

    Skip Your Reasonable Ideas

    Time after time, clients come to the career transition process with two versions of what they’d like to accomplish.  One is the version they feel they likely have the power to make happen.  The other, is the deepest truth about what they want.

    “If I were to tell the truth….” is a statement I hear very often.  Why wouldn’t you tell the truth?  Why is it dismissed as a pipe dream?  Those ‘impossible’ dreams hold the springboard to a new direction whether it’s a literal move to the dream or some interpretation of it.

    Once the true desire is given air-time, it cannot be taken back, so action becomes inevitable.  Small steps start to get promising results and the traction and speed often take off from there. Blocks seem to move away and your luck ‘magically’ changes.  The truth WILL ‘set you free’! 

    Scare Yourself

    The bigger the chances you take, the greater the ‘lucky’ things that begin to occur.  Taking risks is a very big factor in shaking the trees and causing ripe fruit to fall into your life.

    Michael, who had been out of work, had thought of calling an old boss, but talked himself out of it because their final encounter had not been the most stellar.  He felt a nagging urge to call him but he was afraid to and did not feel it was appropriate to hope for a job by reaching out.  With some encouragement, and a lot of butterflies, he gave his ex-boss a call.  The boss was so glad to hear from Michael that he invited him in to see him.  They met, found they both had felt bad about how things had been left earlier and Michael left with two strong leads for jobs at companies where his boss had contacts. 

     As ‘luck’ would have it, after several weeks, Michael’s old boss had an opening that was a better opportunity than the other two leads he had been pursuing.

    Get Gracious

    Wanting your luck to change is almost the worst way to get your luck to change.  What I mean is that when you focus on what’s missing, what’s wrong, what’s hurting, it’s really hard to get results to the opposite effect.

    The way to shifting results and changing your luck is getting in synch with what you have.  Despite wanting better, being gracious about what you already have, will pave the way to better luck. 

    Think of it in dating terms:  If you’re desperate, insecure and twisting yourself into a pretzel to make a match (any match!) your long term relationship wish will be bumpy.  If you are comfortable with how you are and like your life the way it is, you will make a charming, interesting person to meet and your chances of a match go up. It’s the same in making a goal come to be.

    Find the good in the ‘bad’ and you will navigate on a smoother road to better days.

    Using your endless well of creativity (yes everyone has it), you can find a bridge between your current circumstance and the one you want to create.  You can find a way to align the secret goal with the reasonable plan and come up with one luck-changing game for your life.

    Let us know how we can help.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • PROTECTING YOUR DREAM; SET BOUNDARIES

    by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

    Stepping out and taking risks, whether it’s starting a new venture or launching a job search, is a big deal and it needs to be protected from naysayers and doubters.   Without protection, your own fears can kick in and start to dominate, reducing the amount of action you are willing to take.  No action=no results=fears confirmed=SNAFU!

    What’s the answer?  Training the people around you to behave in ways that fuel you and your dream and not detract from it.  Sound selfish?  Good.  It is.  And it’s exactly what it takes to make a dream come true.

    People who reach the goals they set for themselves know that they need to set boundaries that keep them and their dream safe.  Boundaries are a fancy word for ‘NO’.  You have to say no to influences that will keep you from achieving what you want.  Unfortunately, setting those boundaries means you are changing the rules in many of your relationships.  This in itself takes courage, but I can tell you, you will be better for it.

    For example, Marianne was an executive who made $200,000 a year.  She had grown so tired of her work, where she had to live, and how much travel she had to do, that she wanted to make a change.  She knew moving across the country and finding new work would probably mean a salary reduction, but she did not care.  The people in her life, however, cared very much.  Her colleagues, in-laws and friends accused her of losing her mind and were very critical of her.  She began to question herself when she realized she had to stop talking about the change she was making with those that did not approve in order to stay on course.

    She came to seek support only from those people in her life, even new people, who were willing to see for her what she saw for herself.  She successfully made her move and was very happy with the results.

    Pulling her dream from those that wanted to tromp on it, was a form of setting boundaries.  In other cases, you might need to actually train other people on how they have to behave around you. Yes, that may mean actually telling people the truth.  Like:

    “When you doubt me, it makes me doubt myself, so I won’t be asking for your opinion anymore.”

    “I need to hear what’s good about this, not what can go wrong.”

    “I know you count on me to be here for you when you need to talk, but right now, I need to focus on a problem of my own and need you to listen to me.”

    People, like puppies, are trainable, if you are kind and persistent.  You can draw lines in the sand and keep negative influences away from you.

    And in case you need one for your Thanksgiving gathering, here’s one more script:

    “This is a time for being grateful for each other.  Can we save the bickering for next year?”

    Based on Chapter 11 of “Now What? 90 Days to a New Life Direction”, “You Don’t Have To Do It Alone”.