Here’s one woman’s account of what it was like to realize that after years of pursuing what she thought she wanted, a new dream was forming. It took some introspection and revisiting of her childhood before clarity came to Diana Abu-Jabar . Diana’s younger self had concluded that meaningful work and having children were mutually exclusive choices and that she could pursue one or the other but not both. In the Now What?® Program, this is what we refer to as “conflicting desires”. The funny thing is that they might not even be opposite desires, but how you interpret them or what you fear can happen that makes them appear opposite, which affects your assumptions about what is possible in your life.
It wasn’t until Diana was in her 40’s that she and her husband decided to become adoptive parents to a baby girl they named Grace. The sharp lines of family vs. career have blurred. “Through Grace, we transcended our old fears and perceptions of ourselves that no longer fit. We discovered that life could be so much bigger than we had imagined.” Reflecting on the changes that have transpired Diana comments, “Life pours into new containers…”
Questions to Consider:
- Are there assumptions you’ve made that can be revisited now?
- What dreams of yours have you been framing as mutually exclusive? What is a new container that can connect them?
[…] You are afraid that what you want will require too much sacrifice. — It’s perfectly legitimate to decide that you do not want to pay the price associated with a certain option. Just be clear on two things first: 1) What might you be sacrificing already? 2) What would make the anticipated sacrifice worth it to you? Also keep in mind that sometimes choices appear to be mutually exclusive and yet are not in actuality; there may be a way to bridge your ideas without having to make an all or nothing decision. (More on this here) […]