PROCRASTINATION – The Killer of a Job Search or Career Exploration

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You think that life coaches don’t procrastinate? HA! Since I’ve put off writing this newsletter for three weeks, I figured there was no better topic this month than PRO-CRAS-TI-NA-TION.
I am a PRO: A pro-coach and a PRO procrastinator.

PROCRASTINATION—The Killer of a Job Search or Career ExplorationFor some, procrastination is a lifestyle. For others, it messes with their well-being and even screws up their relationships, job and life. I tend to go in spurts. I will have times of warrior-ass accomplishment and times of procrastination that can last a verrrrryyy long time. I’m a good prioritizer, BUT a lot of the time, I will use the ability to prioritize as a way to put more fun, easy and attainable tasks ahead of ones that will take longer to complete or not have an instant tangible result. Writing a newsletter has no instant, tangible result. Will you open the email? Read it? Give a hoot? Do anything about it? (OK you get the picture).

What can you do about procrastination? No app, scheduler or best friend is going to help you the way you are going to have to help yourself. I know “just do it” is trite, so I’ll put it another way. Anyone who has ever tried to write a blog post (try a friggin’ book!) or had to pay a bill when money is tight, or get a report in on time, knows that you eventually just have to force yourself to do it. Yes, FORCE yourself.

The ANTIDOTE to PROCRASTINATING = sheer FORCE!

Set a timer, promise yourself a reward, deprive yourself of something, make a deal with the devil—-whatever it is that will work for you—-there is not magic; there is only WILL.

Accountability helps. This is where a friend can come in and help to FORCE you or reward you with whatever it will take. It’s also the step that coaches provide as a built-in bonus when working with clients. And this coach has her own coach (actually a few—the diet coach, the speaking biz coach and an assistant who has twice a week calls with me that force me to meet deadlines).

If you are a member of the nation — the PROCRASTI-NATION — know that you are not alone, but also understand that you ALONE must DECIDE who is going to win.

Will you be triumphant? Let me know.

(Hey! Thanks for reading. Maybe it was worth FORCING myself to write today).

Relationships Matter!

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Relationships Matter!Sure, technical skills matter, but no matter what field you’re in, how you relate with people and the diversity of life experiences you bring into your circle matters.

“…building relationships is important because you just never know where the next opportunity is going to come from.”

One Engineer Explains How Relationships Can Have a Big Impact on Your Career

What Happens When Your Efforts Make No Difference?

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You fought as hard as you could. You jumped through every hoop. You kept your head in the game and your eye on the ball. AND you did not prevail!

Don't stop when you are tired sign yellow with stripes, road sign variation. Bright vivid sign with warning message.

WHAT??????!!

Four interviews over two weeks or seven callbacks over nine months; it doesn’t matter. Sometimes, you can do everything right and still not get what you want!

What do you do?

You grieve. For a bit. I suggest no more than three days. That’s my personal limit. After all, Jesus rose after three days, so it seems symbolically important too. (How’s that from a Jewish girl?)

AND THEN . . .

You pull yourself together and ask yourself: Do I want to quit, or do I want to allow this to make me work harder (and smarter)?

Depending on the answer, you act accordingly.

My daughter has chosen to follow in my musical theater footsteps, and it’s been a roller coaster of a ride. She worked professionally when she was a tween and came very, very close to several Broadway shows. She had HUGE “almosts.” Then, she became a teen — the kiss of death in professional theater. These are the “dead” years where you go back to your high school and community theaters and get more experience until you can come back as a pro after eighteen. (It’s less hassle to hire an 18-year-old who can play a younger teen, than hire a teen who comes with labor laws and schooling requirements).

We have been poised on that ledge of disappointment many, many times.
“Do you want to quit?”
“No,” she says.
“Then use this to build your determination to be the best you can be.”

The same goes for you.

Now, as a possible career transition seeker, not all circumstances roll like my daughter’s situation. Fighting ageism, changes in an industry, a gap in your resume and other issues don’t get resolved solely with determination and skill building. However, it does call for evolving determination, along with learning how to leverage your previous experience into something new and marketable.

That is where we come in. Please check out how to do this at Now What Coaching.

No! You are NOT Too Old!

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No! You are NOT Too Old!We hear it all the time . . . “Am I too old to go for something new? To follow my dream? To start a business?”

And, the answer is quite simply, no.

If you’re still here, you’ve got possibilities worth exploring. Need some proof? Read on . . .

An Inspirational Reminder That You’re Never “Too Old” to Change Careers

WHAT DO YOU SEE?

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At the airport this past Friday morning:

dancing feetA young man (I am guessing between the ages of 17-25) dances/skips with perfectly pointed toes across the endless carpeted open space in the international arrivals terminal in Toronto. I see him from the top of the escalator two stories up. Upon a closer look, I can see he isn’t a professional. He and his mother happened to exit at the same time I did. I asked the woman if I could talk to her son. She paused.
“He’s autistic,” she said.
“I know,” I said and proceeded.
“I saw you dancing in there.”
“I’m not a dancer,” he said.
“Well, I just wanted to thank you for sharing your joy. It made me very happy to see you dance.”
He walked away. His mom cried.

She seemed shocked that someone even noticed her son, much less had something kind to say to him.

I posted this bit on Facebook, and the reactions and shares piled up. Many acknowledged me for my actions which, frankly, still embarrasses me. I didn’t mean to attract attention to myself. I wanted to share this scene for people to take in and bring their own meaning to it.

In the few days since, I thought it was worth repeating here as an invitation. That invitation is to look up from your devices and skip past instant assumptions. Focus your perspective to cut through the surface to find a connection or commonality you can appreciate with our fellow human beings. See their humanity.

You know what I saw when I watched the dancing young man? First, I saw beauty in his form. Then I marveled at the freedom he gave himself to enjoy the open, uncrowded, carpeted space. Then I projected myself into that observation. Whenever I am in an open, carpeted expanse, like an empty Las Vegas conference ballroom (not random, I’m in these ballrooms often for speeches), I want to do the very same thing he was doing! I want to jump and dance and fly through the space to the limits of my human ability. Before a certain age, I cartwheeled when I was alone in these spaces. So by looking up from my device and coming upon the bird’s eye view of this dancer, I saw beauty, felt joy in watching him, and connected it to my secret. I relished the moment.

I also had to say something to him about it. I knew he wouldn’t care, but I felt moved to talk to him. I felt I could relate to this mother who has it much harder than I do. I know she lives in a world most don’t understand. I wanted her to know her boy had an impact. His freedom to be himself mattered.

What will you notice today? What will you SEE?

If you read this because you’re on the Now What? (am I going to do) journey, being more in tune with what’s going on around you can help open your eyes to opportunities that might otherwise go unnoticed.

When You Show Up, Who Knows What’s Possible?

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When You Show Up, Who Knows What’s Possible?Our dreams do not always come in the packages we expect.

When obstacles change our course, sometimes simply showing up to be around the passion, doing whatever is needed (even the small and tedious tasks) will reveal new way to be with what you love.

She Believed She Could: Abby DePhillips On Finding Your Path

What if Hopscotch Isn’t Just for Kids?

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Sometimes hopping from career to career can be wise, fulfilling, and even beneficial, as you carry with you what you’ve gained in experience, knowledge, and contacts from past jobs. Our choices don’t have to be forever. How refreshing!

What if Hopscotch Isn't Just for Kids?My Career Choice: All of the Above

The Ever-Changing Boundaries of Truth

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The Ever-Changing Boundaries of TruthThere are so many colors of truth: White lies, grey areas, lies by omission, exaggerated truth, and complete fabrication.

Which kind of liar are you? Who me?? Yes, you!

Don’t be so shocked. We all lie. We just get so used to it, that we don’t even consider it lying. Telling your kid their drawing is gorgeous, appeasing a boss with a twist of the truth, protecting yourself from pain or conflict—all of life’s scenarios present us with an opportunity to alter the truth as needed.

When it comes to your work and career, the truth is a challenging game. Outside of workplace politics, the truth about our level of satisfaction is often an intricate story we tell ourselves. It’s not always based in truth.

“The money is good. It’s fine.”
“I’m glad to have a job.”
“It’s not my dream job, but it’ll do.”

No harm done, you’d think. However, the truth is hard work. Once you tell it, you have to live up to it or go back to the safety of denial. I help people tell the truth and discover its liberation, and that it’s not as horrifically scary as they fear.

Well, that’s not true. It is horrifically scary, but it’s necessary. It’s essential to getting to the other side of a very brave journey – to arrive in that place where you’ve told the truth, dealt with the fear, taken action anyway and can now live in the new world with a whole new level of satisfaction.

In my twenties, facing the truth that I could no longer withstand the lifestyle required to pursue my theater dreams was one of the hardest truths I’ve had to face. Once the battle with admitting the truth was over, I could move forward. I didn’t have a clue as to what I’d do next, but finally admitting that I wasn’t where I wanted to be and I wasn’t willing to keep slogging, allowed me to be open to new ideas. One of them was to call an old mentor. He had become a coach – I had no idea what a coach was – the rest is history.

What is truth? How can you measure it? It’s often elusive, but telling the truth can clear the way for a greater truth to be told. The line keeps on moving. The truth can be blurry, so who exactly gets to decide what the truth is?

You do.

What’s true about your career or life situation?
Does it feel right?
Does it sit well with you?
Does it give you hope?
If the answers are yes, you’ve made great strides. AND when you take the time to ask these questions, you are measuring your happiness by a different standard. How it feels versus how you think it looks.

The idea that “the truth will set you free” suggests that in the telling, you are opening up the dam of blocked energy and ideas. It means you can stop holding your breath and instead allow the brain and body to be engulfed in the oxygen that will help generate ideas and action. Just as you can’t drive a car with a block in the gas line, you can’t operate smoothly in life with the truth buried deep in your being. It has to come out in order to move your life forward.

Are there consequences to telling the truth? There sure are. I can say with great certainty that even if the ride is bumpy and hard to start, maybe even painful, the work will be worth it. As Robert Frost said: “The only way out is through.” You will get through and things WILL be so much better.

So, if nothing is moving in your career or life the way you want it to, it’s time to tell the truth.

We’ll get it out of you. It won’t hurt as much as that last sentence made it sound like it would. Give us a call.

The Key to Work You’ll Love: Doing What’s Valuable

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The Key to Work You'll Love: Doing What’s ValuableYou hear it all the time, and admittedly you’ve heard it here: “Follow your passion!”

It’s not always the best starting place because you might get stuck, not sure what that means. However, as you explore, develop skills, and find work that brings value, your passion may emerge.

To find work you love, don’t (always) follow your passion

Don’t Find Your Passion … Go Out and Develop It!

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If you haven’t found your passion yet, don’t despair! Passions aren’t lying in wait for you to uncover them, nor is there just one “true” passion for each of us.

Don’t Find Your Passion … Go Out and Develop It!Our core interests aren’t whetted to one path or career. Rather, they can be cultivated – growing and developing over time as we explore new areas of interest and approach the world with an open, curious mind.

“Find Your Passion” Is Awful Advice