If you’re anything like most people I coach, you hate conflict.
Especially in the course of a workday!
But let’s face it; the workplace is like a playground, where people dress a little better and use a slightly better vocabulary.
We’re all still a bunch of kids just trying to get our needs met.
But managing difficult conversations, facing uncomfortable truths, and laying things all out on the table is never fun.
So you try to avoid it at all cost. Who wants the headache?!
Let’s face it; the workplace is rife with conflict — the kind that operates out in the open, and the kind that’s simmering under the surface … then things boil over, and you know how that goes!
Why can’t we all just go along to get along?
Here’s the thing —
You might be thinking the conflict is about something petty or ridiculous or all the other person’s fault. But it’s really all about that playground drama.
Remember, we’re a bunch of grownups, dressed up, still trying to get our needs met.
Ask yourself: What are my needs?
As for me, I have a high need to be recognized. Like at home — if I’ve gone through the effort to make a meal, I want to hear, “Thanks Mom; this is good!” If not, I get cranky.
Maybe you have a need…
to be liked, respected, heard, and
to be seen,
for control…
What are your needs? Think about it.
When you have an interpersonal conflict with someone, stop to think about what need of yours is not being met.
This will make things so much easier. It’s hard to believe at first, but it’s not usually about them and whatever annoying/infuriating thing they’re doing or not doing.
Maybe it’s about YOUR need not being met.
And if it’s NOT about you, it’s about the other person’s unmet need. Become very curious about what people really need underneath the words they use, and you’ll find how to unravel conflict much more easily.
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