Have you ever been sitting across from someone — maybe in a coaching session or in a sales conversation — and they tell you everything is fine, they’re good, they just need a little tweaking… and yet every instinct in your body is screaming that something is off?
Yeah. Me too.
The problem isn’t that people are deliberately lying to you.
The problem is that you haven’t put on the right equipment to see through it.
Think about night vision goggles. You’ve seen them on TV; it allows the cops or soldiers to move through complete darkness. Without them, you see nothing. No shapes, no outlines, no threats, no opportunities. But the moment you strap them on, the whole landscape lights up like daylight. Suddenly you can see everything, including what people are trying to hide, even from themselves.
That’s the skill I want to talk about. Because the best coaches and salespeople aren’t the ones with the slickest scripts or the loudest pitches. They’re the ones who have learned to put on the night goggles.
Why People BS Even Themselves
It’s important to understand something. Most people aren’t consciously deceiving you. They don’t mean to fib. What they’re doing is protecting themselves. Over years of life experience, people build walls, craft stories, and rehearse excuses — not because they’re manipulative, but because the real stuff is scary, raw, and vulnerable. And they’ve learned that leading with it feels dangerous.
When someone gives you the polished, everything-is-fine answer, they’re not your enemy.
They’re just in the dark.
Your job is to bring the light.
Three Things the Night Vision Goggles Reveal
Once you commit to seeing past the surface, here’s what starts to come into focus:
The gap between words and energy
Someone can say “I’m fully committed” while their body tells a completely different story — voice dropping, eye contact disappearing, shoulders caving in. Don’t follow the words; follow the energy. The body doesn’t lie the way the mouth can. When those two things are out of alignment, that gap is your signal to go deeper.
The story they keep repeating
When someone offers you the same excuse dressed up three different ways, that’s not an explanation; that’s armor. The real issue lives underneath the repeated story in the thing they haven’t found the words for yet. This is where you lean in rather than accept the surface answer. Get curious. Ask what’s underneath that. Then ask again.
What they’re not asking for
This one is huge. The person who says they need a better script almost always actually needs confidence. The client who says they need more leads usually needs to fix what’s happening once they get someone on the phone. The surface request is rarely the real problem. Learning to hear the unspoken need is one of the most valuable skills you can develop, whether you’re coaching or selling.
How This Changes the Sales Conversation
When a prospect tells you they need to think about it, that’s not a request for more time. It’s a signal that something is unresolved. It could be fear or doubt. It could be a conversation they need to have with a partner first, or a wound from someone who let them down before. Whatever it is, pitching harder won’t reach it.
Put the goggles on instead.
Get quieter. Ask better questions.
Create enough space that the truth finally feels safe enough to show up.
The best closers are not the loudest voices in the room. They’re the people who can sit the longest in the silence — comfortable enough with the discomfort to wait for what’s really going on.
Your Job Is to See What They Can’t
Next time someone gives you the Miss America answer — the “I’m fine, everything’s great, I just need a small tweak” response, remember this:
The dark doesn’t mean there’s nothing there. It just means you haven’t switched on the goggles yet.
Your job isn’t just to hear what they’re saying.
Your job is to see what they don’t.
Put the goggles on. Go find the truth.
That’s where the real coaching happens.
That’s where the real sale is made.