Facts vs. Feelings

We can be our own worst enemy sometimes.

The negative self-talk gets brutal some days, doesn’t it? As hurtful as the meanest bully on the planet.

“Nobody likes me here. I shouldn’t have even come.”
“That was the dumbest idea ever; no wonder it flopped.”
“I’ll never hit my revenue goals. I should just quit and get a job.”
“I’m the worst performer on the team. I can’t do anything right!”

Berate yourself enough, and you can fall into a funk and get stuck there. Your thoughts and feelings are powerful.

Why does this happen?

It’s all due to a misunderstanding. We tend to interpret our feelings as information that is true. Likely, it’s not true.

How do we stop?

Check the facts. A feeling is an emotional state or reaction based on a belief. But the belief may be nothing more than a hunch – a sneaking suspicion, not necessarily based in reality and, quite possibly, totally irrational or outright false.

Are you lying to yourself? What’s really true?

Did anyone say they didn’t like you? Did someone tell you to leave?
No.
Was your idea objectively silly and predestined to fail?
You have no way of knowing.
Is the revenue deadline here yet?
Then you haven’t fallen short.
Is your performance a done deal? Could you still come out ahead?
Give it a shot.

Question the facts and what they mean.

It’s true that nobody has greeted you or smiled at you. Maybe they’re nervous. Say hi!
It’s a fact that your idea generated zero sales. Maybe the timing or messaging was off.
The data confirms revenue is lagging far behind. Perhaps a cash infusion will prove successful.

Getting the idea? Please don’t make a fact mean more than it does at its most basic face value.

Am I telling you to ignore your intuition? Absolutely not. I’m referring to negative self-talk – that distracting bully, vying for power and attention, feeding on past traumas and unfortunate mishaps.

Remember, your intuition tends to be gentle, expansive, and protective. Negative feelings, often based on fear, are more likely to be jarring, critical, and unsettling.

When things are chaotic and out of control, stick to the facts. Focus on what’s happening right now, without projecting too far into the future. Stop, get quiet, and check in. What’s real? You’ll know.