“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” Henry Ford
Today’s question comes from a member of our community who participated in a recent Community Call and is answered by Laura Berman Fortgang.
Question: After a career in sales, I’ve decided to go for acting. Over the last few years I’ve taken some classes, done a TV commercial, and have received positive feedback. I know it’s a long shot. I’m in my late 50’s and it’s a risk financially. It’s a challenge and feels scary but I also know that I haven’t been able to make anything else happen career-wise. What do you think?
Answer:
You’ve clearly stated this is something you want to do and if that’s the case, you’ve got to be the one to beat the odds. That’s the frame of mind you’ll need to be in and applies to anyone, whether you’re in the middle of a job search, starting a business, or any other endeavor. Treating it like a business every day is also important. That means putting some structure around the actions you need to take, for example: finding an agent, going to a certain number of auditions every week, and taking some action every day. Keep taking acting classes and spend time with positive people.
In order to move forward with something that’s risky, ask yourself: If I never got paid, would I still do it? If you’re answer is yes, that means you might really love doing it, regardless of whether it turns into your full-time employment. Also ask yourself: How much time can I give myself with no regrets? For instance, can you give it a year? If your answer is yes, go do that without looking over your shoulder and find the joy in it every day. If after a year there’s no traction with this direction, you can reassess.
“There are no traffic jams along the extra mile.” Roger Staubach
“You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try” Beverly Sills
Have you ever been sitting in the waiting room for an interview or other important meeting where people start yacking? Some are bragging, some are just answering questions from the braggart, and some are trying to stay out of it but suffering through the noise unable to block it out.
Sound familiar?
Which one are you? Does it matter?
Let’s explore why it does matter. It’s all about energy. When you are nervous about an interview or meeting new people, you need all the energy you have for you. The braggart is sucking energy out of the room by talking loudly, the person answering the questions is getting their energy sucked out of them and even the person who is gritting their teeth through it is losing energy to the scene going on.
Now the braggart thinks they are “all that” but the truth is they are not in the best standing either. They may go into the interview a bit too adrenalized and full of the energy they sucked from everyone else. That’s not always the best impression either.
So what to do?
Conserve Your Energy
No matter which one of the three holding room types you are, managing your energy is an important skill.
Imagine you are a big tank like those that hold water or gas. Every time you get nervous, stressed or someone steals your energy by being negative or taking up all the air in a room, your tank springs a leak. Your job is to keep your tank from leaking.
Take Slow Deep Breaths
You don’t have to close your eyes and go all zen, but take deep, slow breaths that you can really physically feel as your lungs fill up and expand. Let it out slowly. Deep controlled breathing soothes the nerves and brings oxygen to where it’s needed.
Focus on Something
If you don’t want to focus solely on your breath for the duration of your wait, read your notes or even pretend you are reading something. Keep your focus on your internal self not out into the room where you could get sucked into a conversation.
Dissuade Space Hogs
If someone does try to break into your space, you can politely say:
“I hope you’ll excuse me, I’m determined to read this now.”
OR
“I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m better off keeping quiet right now.”
(Try these on planes when you don’t want to engage a chatty seat mate, too!)
Envision Your Results
With eyes closed if you can, take a couple of minutes to envision in your mind’s eye how you want the meeting to go. Imagine the job being offered to you or your proposal being accepted. Imagine friendly faces inside that room you are waiting to enter. If you’re not feeling confident, imagine yourself very confident in stance and attitude.
Consider this your mental preparation.
Yacks are hacks. Hold your tongue as tempting as it is and fill up your tank with the good energy you’ll need to shine.