I’ll let you in on something from the get-go here; I am writing this for myself as much as I’m writing this for you.
You may still be visiting friends and family for the holiday season and experiencing great acts of kindness, but you also may be biting your tongue very hard this week as you do your best to keep the family peace and BE KIND.
It’s that time of year. Peace on earth, goodwill towards men (and women!!) but let me ask you this: Are you kind to yourself? The harder you work to be kind to other people may reflect how hard it is for you to be kind to yourself.
The person I am most unkind to is myself. Can anyone else relate? Those with a strong inner critic work hard to not spew it out on to the innocent bystander, so instead, ratchet up the volume in their own head directing and redirecting the vitriol at themselves.
How does that work for you?
Does it motivate you? Does it keep you stuck or cause you to procrastinate?
I can promise you that turning your kindness on to yourself will make anything you want to accomplish easier for you to do. Ease into kindness and watch it become the currency that energizes your project or promise or whatever you are up to.
People with high standards cause themselves to suffer and refuse to break their own rules even if it works against them. It’s a novel idea to lower your standards if you’re an overachiever. To accept a lower standard can be tough because we’ll make it mean that we are cheating or being lazy or betraying ourselves in some way. However, the opposite is true. Allowing yourself to win helps ease your way to other successes.
I had a consultation with a woman this year who knew that her job was not serving her and that she needed a new, more fulfilling path. She had plenty of money to feel secure pursuing a new direction but her rules about money and spending (not seeing her betterment as an investment) led her to reject what seemed like a very strategic and safe change that was destined to make her happier. She would not break her rules despite them keeping her stuck and miserable!
As we cross over into another year, I ask you to invest in the currency of kindness and the benefit of breaking the rules that make you unhappy. Be kind to YOU.
Wishing you love, peace and happiness in the New Year.