Now What?® Coaching

Tag: procrastinate

  • The Currency of Kindness

    The Currency of Kindness

    I’ll let you in on something from the get-go here; I am writing this for myself as much as I’m writing this for you.

    You may still be visiting friends and family for the holiday season and experiencing great acts of kindness, but you also may be biting your tongue very hard this week as you do your best to keep the family peace and BE KIND.

    The Currency of KindnessIt’s that time of year. Peace on earth, goodwill towards men (and women!!) but let me ask you this: Are you kind to yourself? The harder you work to be kind to other people may reflect how hard it is for you to be kind to yourself.

    The person I am most unkind to is myself. Can anyone else relate? Those with a strong inner critic work hard to not spew it out on to the innocent bystander, so instead, ratchet up the volume in their own head directing and redirecting the vitriol at themselves.

    How does that work for you?

    Does it motivate you? Does it keep you stuck or cause you to procrastinate?

    I can promise you that turning your kindness on to yourself will make anything you want to accomplish easier for you to do. Ease into kindness and watch it become the currency that energizes your project or promise or whatever you are up to.

    People with high standards cause themselves to suffer and refuse to break their own rules even if it works against them. It’s a novel idea to lower your standards if you’re an overachiever. To accept a lower standard can be tough because we’ll make it mean that we are cheating or being lazy or betraying ourselves in some way. However, the opposite is true. Allowing yourself to win helps ease your way to other successes.

    I had a consultation with a woman this year who knew that her job was not serving her and that she needed a new, more fulfilling path. She had plenty of money to feel secure pursuing a new direction but her rules about money and spending (not seeing her betterment as an investment) led her to reject what seemed like a very strategic and safe change that was destined to make her happier. She would not break her rules despite them keeping her stuck and miserable!

    As we cross over into another year, I ask you to invest in the currency of kindness and the benefit of breaking the rules that make you unhappy. Be kind to YOU.

    Wishing you love, peace and happiness in the New Year.

  • “HOW” Is The Enemy of Progress

    by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

    In working with a recent client, I was once again reminded of how easily we can get stopped by the ‘how’ of making our deepest  desires a reality.  It makes sense.  How can we proceed if we don’t know how to do so?  However, over the years, I have come to see how people take what can be a legitimate concern and turn it into a reason to procrastinate.

    “I’ll need more training”

    “I should probably research this more.”

    “I need more information to get started.”

    Yes, we need to be educated and prepared when it comes to starting a new business or setting out on an adventure, but there comes a time where the preparation becomes counterproductive and begins to stall progress altogether.

    How do you know when you’re spinning your wheels or when you are really in need of knowledge to proceed?

    • If you’re avoiding conversations that could make you money
    • If you’re spending hours and hours working on your business alone
    • If you’re really comfortable doing whatever you’re doing (studying, web surfing, etc)
    • If you’re obsessed with thoughts about ‘what if’s’ and ‘Buts’

    If you are up to any of the above, you are in the “knowledge-collection-as-procrastination” zone.

    Comfort should never be part of the equation.  If you’re comfortable, you’re hiding, you’re not growing and making progress.  If you’re obsessing about a future that is not even here yet, you are living in tomorrow and not taking care of today which implies getting started.  If you’re not out talking to people (prospects, mentors, vendors, providers), you are not letting nature takes its course.

    What we see with Now What?® clients is that an acceleration of progress toward the desired outcome, only starts to occur when you are out talking to people and actively shaking hands, talking and asking for help.  The result is often resources pointed to, other people introduced to you, solutions appearing and growth occurring.  Starting a venture cannot happen alone in a vacuum.

    The HOW is revealed piece by piece and often, can only become clear by taking the parking brake off and letting the car roll down the hill.  That is what I asked my client to do.  I asked her to get out there and just start.  It doesn’t have to be with a business plan in place, yet.  I asked her to get out there and collect “templates, contacts and strategies”.  THAT will begin the linear HOW’s she was looking for.

    What if you really do need more knowledge like a degree program or a training of some kind?  You’ll know it because the obvious pre-requisites will make themselves known.  You can’t set up a therapy practice without a license, you won’t be flying a plane anytime soon without a pilot’s training and license and you won’t be selling financial products or real estate without passing the exams.  However, most of the time, the obstacles are self-imposed and born out of your own fears.

    If you are committed to be the best at this next, new thing, you’ll do what it takes.  You won’t let a few extra requirements stop you.  But that does not mean wait until it’s all done.  It means get out there and start the car rolling down the hill.  You can always put the brakes on, but soon you’ll be on an exciting ride and wondering why you waited so long to get moving.