Laura Berman Fortgang

by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

To quit or not to quit?  That is the question.

Maybe you’ve been thinking of quitting your job, quitting your current job search or giving up on your dream.  You probably feel bad just entertaining the thought.  If you feel bad about it, is that a sign that you stay put? How does somebody know if quitting is the right thing? It’s so hard!

There’s always the pros/cons list if you want to rely on logic.  But, you see, logic will likely be overrun by fear, so we have to rule that out.  We probably can’t trust your gut at this point either, because the jittery butterflies make it hard to get an accurate read.

Then, HOW DO YOU KNOW????

Imagine you are out shopping for a new suit or pair of shoes.  Would you make the purchase if the item did not fit you?  Probably not, unless of course, you were totally desperate and had no choice because you had an event in the morning and the stores are closing in five minutes.

If whatever you are considering quitting doesn’t ‘fit’ you anymore, you have to be honest with yourself.  Yes, there are consequences, and maybe you can have the suit altered or the shoes stretched, but pay close attention to how you feel.  Is the energy in your body shutting down and feeling like a ‘no’ when you think of staying with the current course?  Is your energy a ‘YES’ when you imagine yourself quitting and on to the next thing?

This can be a little confusing too, because newness is exciting.  The ‘Yes’ energy can’t always be trusted if you are one to chase after the nearest, new shiny object like a bee dances from flower to flower in the summer looking for pollen.  However, if you are honest with yourself, know that the ‘YES’ feeling (as scary as it may be) is not just the escape from the hard work of something, then you have your answer.  It’s time to move on.

If the thing you are considering quitting still has ‘YES’ in it, despite it’s challenges, you have to stay and recommit.

Change is hard any way you slice it.  Whether you have to recommit and stay or you are ready to quit and forge a new path, it won’t be all sunshine and rainbows.  But the idea has to give your body a ‘YES’ the way a metal detector would go BEEP when it’s hit upon a treasure.

I recently worked with an unemployed lawyer who was very unhappy with his line of work and who had a very clear idea of what else he’d like to do.  The internal battle was all about logic—where the money would come from, which he was more qualified to do, and which would be most easily accessible.  Logic was winning, but the energy (and therefore action) was very low when it came to the job search of new legal work.  The energy was very high for the new thing but fear stopped him.  The answer was clear, but this lawyer needed more time to think about what he already knew to be true.  That was very lawyerly of him.  But the coach had to bow out until the ‘YES’ led to action.

As the New Year approaches, don’t let the ‘YES’ sit in your body unattended.  Life will tell you if you are wrong.  Make a move and see how it ‘fits.’  We outgrow jobs and directions like we outgrow clothes and shoes whether it’s due to size, fit or style.  It’s OK to quit when it truly doesn’t fit.