Now What?® Coaching

from Laura Berman Fortgang

passion

Old Lessons Made New to Finish 2023 Strong

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It’s hard to believe we’re already heading into the fourth quarter of 2023, but it’s coming right up.

So … how’s it going?

Would your September 2022 self be proud?
Are you on track to reach your goals?
Did you blow by your wildest expectations?
Have you made some wrong turns or hit detours?

No matter where you are now, you still have time to finish even stronger and better. You have time to focus on what you want to get done by the end of this year.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot this week. As you may know, not only am I a Master Certified Credentialed Coach, but I’m also an ordained interfaith minister, incorporating wisdom and inspiration from ancient traditions around the world, into my work and every day.

This past weekend was Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, followed by a 10-day period of Judaism’s High Holy Days, and this coming Sunday marks Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement or holiest day of the year.

It’s a time for reflection and renewal, introspection and connection.

A time for shedding the old and celebrating new beginnings — wishing family and friends a year filled with happiness, health, and prosperity.

Old Lessons Made New to Finish 2023 Strong by Laura Berman FortgangAs well as a time for thinking back over the past year, facing your missteps, asking forgiveness, and considering how you may become a better person in the year ahead.

Whether you take part in these customs or not, you can consider this a reminder that life is full of opportunities to begin again and move forward with renewed energy.

This weekend also marks the official first day of fall. Just like the trees shed leaves, what do you want to let go of? What do you want to make room for?

If you haven’t done it by now, maybe you didn’t really want to — so dump it!

Or forgive yourself for putting it off this long — and get to it!

Whatever you’re looking to accomplish in your career or business, the year’s not over yet. Celebrate how far you’ve come, make peace with your setbacks, and reawaken your drive to succeed.

Are you good enough?

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If I had a dollar for every time someone told me they didn’t feel good enough, I’d be on the Forbes list right behind Bezos.

Okay, I’m exaggerating … but it sure seems like it sometimes.

I dream of being a writer, but I’m not good enough.
I want to go after a big promotion, but I’m scared that I’m not good enough.
I’d like to start a business, but I’m not good enough.

They don’t always use those exact words, but the implication is always there.

Let’s talk about something more practical because only the best writers earn a living from it.
I would’ve gotten promoted by now if I had what it takes. I’m ready to jump ship and try something else.
Most businesses fail, so I don’t want to quit my day job, but having a coaching practice on the side would be nice.

Do you hear it? “I’m not good enough” is barely under the surface, but it’s there.
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Maybe you can relate, so I’m here to tell you: YOU’RE ALREADY GOOD ENOUGH.

Don’t get me wrong; sometimes there IS more training or experience to be had, and I’m not suggesting you compromise your standards or settle for mediocrity.

What I mean is, you have to give this some real thought…

Why do you really think you’re not good enough? Whose measuring stick are you using?

Are you good enough?Sometimes parents, family, the community we surround ourselves with, or society at large sends us a message that shapes the way we view ourselves. Sometimes well-meaning, sometimes not. Either way, the “not good enough” doesn’t do us any good.

I’ll give you an example…

Someone in my circle was a disappointment to their parents because they skipped college to sweep floors at a photography studio. Fast forward. Now this person is the owner of one of the largest media companies in the U.S.

If you’re suffering about not being good enough, you made the whole thing up. Sorry to sound harsh, but it’s the truth. The opinions of others aren’t weighing you down nearly as much as the super-high standards you’ve adopted and chosen to place on yourself.

But if I suggest that you lower your standards, yikes — I know, mind blowing. Immediate no, right?

I encourage you to reconsider. Here’s why —

If you’re working your tail off to try to prove something to someone….
If you’re suffering because you’ve realized you’ll never be Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court or at the top of that Fortune list I mentioned earlier…
If you’re wallowing in self-doubt because your new business made $99,999.97 last year…

You’re not doing your best work. You’re operating from a place of defeat and desperation.

Success breeds success.

You don’t lower your standards to accept loss. You lower your standards so you can win, then win again, then win again.

If you’re focusing on the evidence that you’re not good enough, your attention is pointed in the wrong direction.

I didn’t make cheerleading in high school because I wasn’t good enough, like my friends — boo hoo! But it led me to find theater, which I loved! But I wasn’t good enough to make it to Broadway – which hurt! But it led me to what I do today, which I love even more!

I could’ve focused on the evidence that I wasn’t good enough. Instead, I focused elsewhere and found what I was meant to do.

The more you win, the better you’re going to do.

Why did I get “L❤️VE” tattooed on my arm?

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If you missed last week’s note, I talked about the lessons I learned hanging out in a tattoo parlor over the holidays, and it sparked some curiosity —

• Why a tattoo?, and L❤️VE?

I touched on it briefly, but it probably deserves further explanation.

What makes a woman approaching a certain milestone birthday suddenly get a tattoo?
Why choose L❤️VE?
And how does this relate to what we’re here to learn — about careers and business?
Well, I’ll tell you…

I’ve been a longtime student of A Course in Miracles — “a universal, metaphysical, self-study program of spiritual psychology.”

If you’ve never heard of it, I encourage you to go check it out. It’s a massive text, fascinating, and full of lessons for life.

One of my biggest takeaways from studying A Course in Miracles is this:

Every thought we have is either based in FEAR or it’s based in LOVE.

I chose to get LOVE tattooed on my wrist as a reminder to choose love.

Because fear is loud and intrusive and it will always take over … if you let it … if you forget that you always have the option to choose love.

This has been a constant challenge for me throughout my life, but even more so, over the past two years as a caregiver. It takes a lot to remember—in every moment—to be patient, present and choose love.

My tattoo is the beautiful reminder I needed.

Connecting more intentionally with love has also impacted my coaching and my business relationships. Every day, my clients and associates are either coming from fear, or they’re coming from love.

Here’s what I mean…

I had a long time client who wanted to move from the corporate world into nonprofits. But she was afraid to give up her corporate salary.

After working together through the fear and avoiding rash decisions, we were able to identify a perfect solution—joining the philanthropic arm of the corporation, which positioned her for a smooth transition into leadership in the nonprofit world later.

She chose love over fear and won.

Fear often blocks money too. If you’re afraid to ask for the money you want, you won’t get it. If you’re afraid of hearing no, you’ll underbid.

If you charge too little or accept a lower salary, you’ll quickly resent your clients or boss and take on headaches you could have avoided.

To find more peace, happiness, and success in life, you must remember to choose LOVE — including self-LOVE — in everything you do.

Choosing love over fear will always win in the end.

Shifting Gears to Fulfill a Childhood Dream

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No role models.
No expectation to even go to college.
A dream beaten out of him.

And yet, this dream did not entirely disappear, and now this man is able to say, “Finally, I am free of this, and I can go after something I’ve always wanted.”

Shifting Gears to Fulfill a Childhood Dream

Car mechanic shifts gears, becomes a doctor at age 47 and helps address shortage of black doctors

Relationships Matter!

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Relationships Matter!Sure, technical skills matter, but no matter what field you’re in, how you relate with people and the diversity of life experiences you bring into your circle matters.

“…building relationships is important because you just never know where the next opportunity is going to come from.”

One Engineer Explains How Relationships Can Have a Big Impact on Your Career