“Change starts when someone sees the next step.” William Drayton
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Video Viernes-Committed to Paying Attention
Today we bring you an interview by Jane Pauley who is now hosting Your Life Calling, a new series produced by AARP. Here she interviews, Richard Rittmaster, a former Lutheran minister now chaplain in the U.S. Army National Guard. Rittmaster shares several rich insights including how he listened to his burn-out and depression rather than fighting it. “I was committed to paying attention.” We appreciate that comment and in Now What?® we’ve seen that paying attention is the way to intuition and clarity. While listening for guidance, Rittmaster did a stint as a bar tender during which the opportunity to become a chaplain for the army presented itself.
Reflecting on his experience, Rittmaster concludes that becoming “who we’re designed to be” means exercising the gifts that most engage us. What are the gifts or talents that you’d like to exercise?
Finding Faith on the Front Lines – Your Life Calling:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMGZ9h_E8Xc]
Thank YOU
Thanks to our Deputy Editor, Virginia Kravitz and our Editorial Assistant, Joanna Frabrizio, I have not been on the blog as often
as I should. I recently discovered that so many of you have written and commented.
We learn from every comment and will pay more attention to what you want to hear more about.
So, keep them coming and if you need me, specifically, for anything, you can always write to lbf@intercoach.com
Thanks for your readership and participation.
My Best
Laura Berman Fortgang, MCC
Founder of Now What?® Coaching
SUSPENDED REALITY
by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang
THERE COMES A TIME, in almost every career transition, when clarity comes and a sense of determination kicks in despite every logical reason for it not to. There comes a suspended reality where you almost can’t believe you are moving forward in this new chosen direction yet there is no turning back. A cocoon of reason disintegrates and transforms into a new being that can take flight. It is in this suspended reality that courage comes and doors begin to open without logical explanation as to why.
In the movie, Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade, the hero must step out into an infinite abyss to get help to his ailing father. With each
step out into the nothingness, a rock floor would appear to catch him and allow forward motion towards his goal. That same suspended reality is what it feels like to follow a new direction for your life and career that you know is right but have no evidence or indication of getting the result you want.
How do you do it?
Up The Faith
When you operate in space without a net, where most people in your life think you’ve lost your marbles, you have to believe in your self and the goodness of life in general to make it work. It’s not the time to be a realist. It’s a time to be naïve and assume that everyone and everything will work in your favor. It often will when you become a self-contained, pressurized bottle full of faith.
Follow The Breadcrumbs
When you are researching a new field, trying to find a job or pursuing a specific goal in your new direction, every lead is a hot one. Being in the gap between now and future busyness in your new career, you have the luxury of time. You cannot afford to ignore any possibility that can take you in your new direction. Talking to one person can lead to the next person and so on. You will be amazed at the path that gets laid out in front of you as you diligently walk through every open door.
Keep a Solid Home Base
All this is not to say you should abandon all reason. What allows you to move forward with blind faith and curious tenacity is having a solid home base to operate from. You’ll need at least one person who believes in you when the rest of your posse thinks you’re nuts. If possible, keeping your day job will help too even though you’ll have less time for fact-finding. And if you are in between things, it’s OK, you can still have a solid base. Decide what you can invest in yourself financially and give yourself the time to make the transition. If that is not in the cards, a solid base is harder, but not impossible. It’ll then be built on the faith we talked about above and involving others so you can move along more quickly. Ask, ask, ask—for help, support—whatever you need. Create a base of emotional support no matter which level of financial cushion you can operate from.
A recent client made a decision to act on a long-time hunch that it was time to move on from his current job. Despite the uncertainty of the economy and the ‘sure thing’ that his position was after 20 years with the company, he knew he had to do it. He got on the phone and explored every hint, tip or lead that was given to him. Despite his family’s fears that he was blowing a good thing, he persevered, went on interviews, visited other folks that had moved on from his company years before and went to industry events to meet new people to talk to. He did find a new job that he was happy with and six months later, learned that his former company was making layoffs in the department he had been a part of!
Acting on a hunch will usually lead you to enter a suspended reality. That’s what we at Now What?® Coaching are here for. Meet our facilitators.
Today’s Quote: Be and Do To Have
“You’ve got to be before you can do, and do before you can have.” Zig Ziglar
When “Success” is Not Enough
by Kirsten Meneghello, Now What® Facilitator
Laurie is a “successful” attorney according to most people. She has earned an advanced degree, prestige as a lawyer, a good salary and is recognized as an expert in her field. Her co-workers and colleagues look up to her as a respected leader. But Laurie doesn’t feel that way about herself. She feels like an imposter at work and lately has begun to dread going to the office. She doesn’t like her work environment because she feels it’s not collegial and team-oriented. She feels like everyone is out for themselves and their own interests.
When Laurie called me, she was really down and feeling isolated. She knew this was not her dream job. But how could she justify walking away from a career at which she was successful? Through the coaching process, we started to unpack the difference between what others expected of her and what she wanted for herself. I find that many people in mid-life are in this same place. There is a lot of societal pressure to stick with a job or career when you are successful on the outside, even if you are miserable on the inside. If you are in this position and tell a friend you are unhappy, they will probably think you are crazy to consider changing jobs or professions.
Success is often measured by fame, an impressive title, having a big salary and a fancy car. But all of those are fleeting and leave you feeling empty in the end (sooner or later!). How you truly find success is to identify your unique purpose and bring your purpose to your work. When you are able to apply your special talents and passions on the job every day, it results in deep personal fulfillment and the satisfaction of contributing to society in a meaningful way. At that point, you will truly be “successful.”
So how did Laurie do this? She discovered through our coaching sessions that her life purpose was to provide solutions. She does this naturally everywhere she goes. For fun, she enjoys solving complex word puzzles and researching dense legal regulations. You might think to yourself, “What? That’s not fun.” It is to Laurie. She loves solving problems and helping others. She found that what made her current work environment so difficult was it did not allow her to provide solutions. In fact, finding solutions was actively discouraged. It was killing Laurie one day at a time.
Once Laurie got in touch with her gift to provide solutions, her perspective on her future career paths changed dramatically. She is currently defining what kind of job she is looking for next. It may or may not be in a legal field, but it will allow her to provide solutions every day and she is so excited. The best part is now Laurie does not define success by whether or not she wins a legal argument or how many hours she bills, but by how she is able to provide solutions every day. By identifying her unique purpose and finding a job at which she can apply her purpose, she knows that she will be successful no matter what she does.
Today’s article by Now What?® facilitator Kirsten Meneghello first appeared in Inspirational Woman Magazine and is posted on our blog with permission.