Purpose is Practical

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By Ginny Kravitz, Now What?® Facilitator

fac_kravitz_ginnyTo the Mountaintop and Back

Who am I? Why am I here? Whether it’s for you personally or in an organizational context, identifying your core purpose can have a profound and lasting impact. When I guideginny post someone through the process of discovering his/her purpose, I describe it this way: We’re going to the mountaintop and back. It’s “to the mountaintop” because it feels lofty to consider the big P-word and it does require a higher vantage point. While there is much to say about how best to explore those mountaintop questions, today it’s the “and back” part that I’d like to address because the real value is what purpose does for you once you return from that metaphorical mountaintop and are walking around in real life.

Three Things Happen

Once you acknowledge your purpose, you can expect three things to happen rather quickly:

#1) Decisions are clarified. Even before you decipher the larger questions such as your next career move or direction to take in life, you can start using your purpose to make everyday decisions. When my client, Catina, realized her purpose is: to stimulate growth, I supplied her with the following list of questions to use throughout the day – at work, parenting, or anytime:

Which decision or course of action will stimulate growth? What can I nurture today (in myself or others whom I encounter)? What supports growth here?  What inspires me to grow? What would bring new life to this situation, project, or conversation?

It’s been over five years now and Catina says that her purpose continues to influence her choices – sometimes in surprising ways – and has led her to challenge herself and accomplish things, both in her personal life (running her first marathon, teaching dance to children), as well as in her career as a Business Intelligence professional.

#2) Communication is amplified. As the themes that comprise your purpose start to gel, you’ll find that they pop up in your conversations: as you share ideas at work, deliver presentations, update your resume, or summarize the why-you on a job interview or sales call. How you communicate your point of view gets a big boost. Instead of limiting yourself to job description bullet points, you start articulating the difference you care about making. And it’s not tag line snazzy or slick – it is simply and authentically you.

Communicating your purpose helps people see you. Tina, a Project Management Professional, recently accepted a new job within her company. As she explored various positions and submitted her applications, Tina incorporated language that conveyed her unique perspective. When the hiring manager who is now her new boss initially interviewed Tina, this is the feedback she gave: Your resume leapt off the page in a sea of resumes. It created a clear image of who you are and what you value. It was compelling. I didn’t just want to interview you… I wanted to meet you.

#3) Motivation is fortified. The third thing that happens once you identify your core purpose is that you now have direct access to a powerful source of motivation. The work involved feels worthy when the through-line to purpose is there. Purpose is your touchstone and the reminder of who you are and aspire to be. It clarifies, aligns, decides, communicates, and motivates. Connecting with it feels good and brings joy.

Purposeful & Practical

Whether you have a definite sense of purpose or are at the clue-collecting stage, allow what you know about your purpose to influence how you move around in the world.

Call To Action:

  • What are the themes that appear to be part of your purpose? Insert them into the questions that I shared with Catina (see #1 above) and use them to guide your decisions.
  • Reinforce the times when you feel connected to your purpose. Before bed, review the day in your mind and note when you acted from your purpose in ways large or small.

Seeking your purpose is a worthy endeavor. It might feel a bit abstract or lofty to consider, but it is actually extremely practical.

 

 

Learn as You Go

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By Ginny Kravitz, Now What?® Facilitator 

But You Don’t Know Anything About It

We were seated next to each other at a dinner party for mutual friends who were about to move cross-country. Val, an executive for a large non-fac_kravitz_ginnyprofit organization, asked me a question I’m often asked: How did you make the change? She was familiar with coaching since she and several of her colleagues had worked with an executive coach over the course of their careers. Val wanted to know more about the kind of coaching I do and how I transitioned to the field from my prior work. She stated that for a while now, she has been entertaining the idea of becoming a coach and then she added what stops her: But I don’t know anything about it.

Val was referring to all the questions that arise with any idea: how do you make the change, what would it really be like, how much money can you make, and the list goes on — appropriately so, because the questions are important to ask.

Research, Risk, & Windows of Opportunity

The point of my sharing Val’s story isn’t to say that you should drop everything and go start your own business or to imply that all mid-career professionals secretly want out. The issue I’m raising is: What do you do with those ideas that pique your interest, the ones that keep coming up for you?

full article here

What’s Bugging You?

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by Ginny Kravitz, Deputy Editor

It’s In Your Face

Right-click here to download pictures. To help protect your privacy, Outlook prevented automatic download of this picture from the Internet.<br /><br /> photo of man swatting a flyIn coach lingo, they’re called tolerations, drains, or what you’re putting up with. In plain language, they’re the things that bug you. Though counting your blessings is a wonderful practice, it’s also helpful to periodically inventory the stuff that bugs you. Why on earth would you want to do that? Two reasons. First, whether that list includes minor irritants or more significant problems, these holes in your hull are causing a fair amount of drag in your life. Ignoring them won’t make them go away. The second reason is that those bugging-you items are actually spelling out the solution, if you look a little closer.

It’s Your First Clue

Take Steve¹, who was burnt out from his job as vice president with a large consulting firm. In our first conversation, all he could say was, “I don’t even know what I want. I don’t have a clue.” So that’s where we started: What don’t you want? What are you absolutely fed up with?

full article here 

A Perfect Partner, A Perfect Career – How lessons in love help our search for meaning

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By Jill Berquist, Now What? A-Team

Recently Ginny Kravitz joined me on a community call to discuss tips for the pursuit of  meaning and happiness in work, life and love.  We  came up with some interesting ideas about the quest for meaning in relationships and in work.  And for our purposes, this quest need not only be in a new relationship or new career, you might be seeking this where you already are.  In other words, you can want more in your exiting partnership or current role as well.  Here are some of the parallels we saw:

  • Begin with awareness, desire, and a mindset of optimism.  In either quest, whether in love or work, start by making room for the journey.  Acknowledge to yourself that you have a desire for something more. It’s important to believe, with a positive view, that something worth pursuing exists.  Without this, and with human nature’s way to resist change, you’ll likely never seek more at all.  And wanting more doesn’t mean that you aren’t grateful for what you have.  Years ago someone told me to do a dialogue with my husband each night for a week, with this model: “What three things I love about you are:  fill in the blank.   The three things I am still learning to love about you are: fill in the blank.  It was a way to state what I was grateful for while still expressing my needs.  That balance worked well.  In your existing career role, acknowledge what works well, that is, the aspects you would want, even if elsewhere, and also note how it can be better.  If you are wanting more, assume better is something you can achieve, and it’s worth the pursuit.
  • Check if you are too picky vs. picky enough. What might surprise you is that Ginny and I agreed that many people we coach on career transition are not picky enough.  We help them make lists and prioritize their wants and needs, and yet sometimes they don’t believe it’s okay to want all that they do.  It’s not about helping them expect perfection, (see next bullet!), it is about designing the ideal, believing you deserve it, and then staying open to the way in which it shows up.  Like anything you want to attain, in love or in relationships you do best when you do have the design.  Once you do that, you’ll be able to know you have found it when you see it.
  • Nothing is perfect.  Perfection is a myth and I’m not sure I’d want it. The truth is, life is not one flat line of emotional experience anyway. If it were, you’d never really truly be happy. To experience happiness and meaning you must have a relative point of comparison. To experience high, you must know low. Relationships and careers are full of a wide range of emotional states – from interest and allure, to boredom and frustration, and back to happiness or excitement again.  Personally, I don’t believe there is only one career that will provide meaning, nor only one person who can make you happy. That said, if you are lucky to find either of these, I would suggest holding on for a while.
  • Love at first sight is a snap judgment.  In career searching and dating, we put so much pressure on ourselves that things be as we hope. And what if the situation does not map right up to our lists, ideal profile, or priorities?  We want answers.  In the Harvard Business Review article, Finding the Job of Your Life by Gianpiero Petriglieri, (the article that got Ginny and I talking about this topic to begin with), Petriglieri references a first date. He notes that at that moment we rarely ask ourselves “is he or she the one?”  He says we are more likely to ask “is this going any further?” As you explore options for work, whether interviews or projects, with each step, check your lists (and your intuition!) and you’ll know if it’s worth going to the next.  In relationships or work, each step reveals more about what you want, and helps you make a bigger decision, when it’s time.

Whether you’re in the quest for meaning in work or in love, the bottom line is that the journey is a daily one.  More realistically, a moment to moment one.  And when we finally realize the journey for meaning is just that, a journey, not a result,  filled with a broad range of emotions and experiences, we free ourselves up to an even greater level of happiness. This Valentine’s Day, I toast to meaning in all areas of your life. At least for the moment. And may that moment also be filled with a scrumptious bite of chocolate.

 

Go, Go, Go!

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 by Ginny Kravitz, Deputy Editor
Everybody Needs It

photo of Ginny's theme boardIt was a few days before my birthday in early December 2009, and a card from my parents had just arrived in the mail. Mom’s Alzheimer’s symptoms were still subtle at that time. Previously she would have written “Dear Ginny” and “Love Mom and Dad.” In this card, however, there were only three words: Shine, Ginny, Shine. I was immediately struck by the coincidence in that I had just selected my theme for the upcoming year: Shine. Though I hadn’t shared that with her, somehow my mother had known what to affirm. It wasn’t the first time.

Years prior, when I was 30 years old and about to get divorced, many people asked me how my parents would react. I can still picture standing by the kitchen sink with my mother, breaking the news to her. Her immediate reaction was one of understanding, along with a go-for-it type of encouragement that affirmed I was on the right path. Eight years later, when I was in the early stages of my coaching venture, my mother was always interested in learning what coaching was all about and would often show her enthusiasm for what I was doing by ending our conversations with: Go, Go, Go!

I’m not embarrassed to say that I loved hearing those words. Just as children do and even as adults, we need encouragement. Since it doesn’t always come from the people we’d like to hear it from (whether that’s a parent, spouse, or friend), it’s a smart idea to cover our bases.

full article here  

Miracles, Mortals, and Mosquitoes

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by Ginny Kravitz, Deputy Editor

Right-click here to download pictures. To help protect your privacy, Outlook prevented automatic download of this picture from the Internet.<br />photo of star-filled skyI felt inspired after seeing Daniel Day-Lewis’ intimate portrayal of Lincoln. The central message I took away was also in another movie directed by Steven Spielberg, Schindler’s List. Both of these illustrate the difference one person can make. Each man answered life’s call in the affirmative, and when he did, the results were nothing short of miraculous.

What is your take on miracles? This was how Albert Einstein saw it:“There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.”

full article here…

Take Courage!

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by Ginny Kravitz, Deputy Editor

Fear is a Given

“It’s not my first rodeo,” remarked Jeanie, a client who is preparing to move cross country and pursue a new career path.  She is familiar with the voices of fear from the peanut gallery. Some are from friends who ask, “Are you sure about this?” while other doubtful refrains originate in her own mind. Fortunately, Jeanie has made big moves before and is prepared for this stage of second-guessing her decision. She knows how to keep the fears in perspective by talking back to them: I know this is right for me.

Notably, “Be not afraid,” is a command that appears throughout the Bible many times. The implication is that we have the power to choose even though it doesn’t feel that way when in the grip of fear. I once heard it suggested that a better interpretation is: Do not remain afraid. Now that seems more doable. Since fear is a given in life, it’s vital to remember that courage is a decision, sometimes a stubborn assertion, and always an act of will.

As with so many other uncomfortable emotions, rather than expecting to eradicate fear before proceeding, we only need to know how to diffuse it. There is a coaching aphorism: Fear may be in the car, but it doesn’t have to be driving.

full article here…

Trust the Path

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by Ginny Kravitz, Deputy Editor

Lessons from the Labyrinth

Right-click here to download pictures. To help protect your privacy, Outlook prevented automatic download of this picture from the Internet.Last Wednesday, while on a self-guided retreat at a local spa, I came upon a labyrinth, designed to inspire a walking meditation. Unlike those high-hedged corn mazes which, based on my sense of direction, would likely have me wandering through the hedges forever, this labyrinth was entirely in view. I set my bare feet on the warm pavement and began walking what first appeared to be a simple spiral. This spiral, however, was not comprised of evenly spaced, concentric rings and that’s part of what makes it a labyrinth.

As I walked the path, I didn’t need to concern myself with figuring anything out. I was certain where the labyrinth led. I could see that it would ultimately bring me to a pile of stones, artfully arranged in the center. That’s the thing about labyrinths: you can’t miss the center. At one point, it seemed the path was taking me farther away from the stones, but I kept walking, and moments later was closer to the center than I would have expected, having just been so far away.

Wouldn’t it be something if we could live our lives like that: trusting the path and remembering that our goals may be closer than they appear?

full article here

Keep Listening

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by Ginny Kravitz, Deputy Editor

When changing directions, often all that’s needed is to find the entry point of your new path vs. having to map out the entire route. What happens after you take that leap of faith and you’re a few steps down the new path?  In today’s article, we learn the answer from three clients who recently shared their thoughts on this question: How do you listen to your life?  full article here

It’s True: You Are Free

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“Man is free at the moment he wishes to be.”
— Voltaire

By Ginny Kravitz, Deputy Editor

Being free has many meanings.  Today, let’s focus on how the truth can set you free. Truth, communication, and freedom — a correlation most definitely exists.

Speak the Truth

Madeline is a client and health care professional who is realizing the power of communicating more effectively with her patients, staff, and others. Recently she summed up the benefits of what she calls “communicating clearly while holding my peace”:

“I get to walk away unburdened and free in many ways. What I have found amazing is how the truth of a situation just kind of rises to the top like cream. I have also seen that some folks operate with smoke and mirrors quite a bit. My new way of communicating blows all that stuff away so there is really nothing to hide behind. Most things just lay bare and hopefully we can move on.”

Pick Up The Key

What is the truth of your situation or whatever is challenging you most at this time? Before any significant progress can be made, it is essential to get real and tell the truth to yourself. For example, you may have some valid gripes about your work environment, but aside from those, you know deep down that you’ve wanted to make a change for years. Likewise, the truth about a relationship that irritates you may be that it’s time for you to no longer allow what you’ve previously tolerated.

The whole truth encompasses much more than the factors that constrain you; it includes what is within your power to change. What’s the part you can do something about? Is it an attitude, a new way of seeing yourself, a better way of communicating, or an action plan to formulate? The key is within your reach.

Exercise Your Freedom

We often perceive ourselves to be more limited in our choices than in fact we are. Do not dwell on where you feel constrained. Instead, realize how you are free.

This Week’s Call to Action:

Where in your life have you been operating as if imprisoned or unduly limited by your choices?Does it involve your job, a relationship, your time, having a voice?

Decide to do something you have been meaning to do or have just realized you are free to do. Whether on a large scale or a more subtle one, it does not matter. Do this because you can. Notice where you are free, realize what might be possible, and take action.

Exercise your freedom, demonstrate that you value it, and freedom flourishes.

“It is not the fact of liberty but the way in which liberty is exercised
that ultimately determines whether liberty itself survives.”
— Dorothy Thompson