Now What?® Coaching

from Laura Berman Fortgang

Ginny Kravitz

Take Courage!

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by Ginny Kravitz, Deputy Editor

Fear is a Given

“It’s not my first rodeo,” remarked Jeanie, a client who is preparing to move cross country and pursue a new career path.  She is familiar with the voices of fear from the peanut gallery. Some are from friends who ask, “Are you sure about this?” while other doubtful refrains originate in her own mind. Fortunately, Jeanie has made big moves before and is prepared for this stage of second-guessing her decision. She knows how to keep the fears in perspective by talking back to them: I know this is right for me.

Notably, “Be not afraid,” is a command that appears throughout the Bible many times. The implication is that we have the power to choose even though it doesn’t feel that way when in the grip of fear. I once heard it suggested that a better interpretation is: Do not remain afraid. Now that seems more doable. Since fear is a given in life, it’s vital to remember that courage is a decision, sometimes a stubborn assertion, and always an act of will.

As with so many other uncomfortable emotions, rather than expecting to eradicate fear before proceeding, we only need to know how to diffuse it. There is a coaching aphorism: Fear may be in the car, but it doesn’t have to be driving.

full article here…

Trust the Path

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by Ginny Kravitz, Deputy Editor

Lessons from the Labyrinth

Right-click here to download pictures. To help protect your privacy, Outlook prevented automatic download of this picture from the Internet.Last Wednesday, while on a self-guided retreat at a local spa, I came upon a labyrinth, designed to inspire a walking meditation. Unlike those high-hedged corn mazes which, based on my sense of direction, would likely have me wandering through the hedges forever, this labyrinth was entirely in view. I set my bare feet on the warm pavement and began walking what first appeared to be a simple spiral. This spiral, however, was not comprised of evenly spaced, concentric rings and that’s part of what makes it a labyrinth.

As I walked the path, I didn’t need to concern myself with figuring anything out. I was certain where the labyrinth led. I could see that it would ultimately bring me to a pile of stones, artfully arranged in the center. That’s the thing about labyrinths: you can’t miss the center. At one point, it seemed the path was taking me farther away from the stones, but I kept walking, and moments later was closer to the center than I would have expected, having just been so far away.

Wouldn’t it be something if we could live our lives like that: trusting the path and remembering that our goals may be closer than they appear?

full article here

Keep Listening

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by Ginny Kravitz, Deputy Editor

When changing directions, often all that’s needed is to find the entry point of your new path vs. having to map out the entire route. What happens after you take that leap of faith and you’re a few steps down the new path?  In today’s article, we learn the answer from three clients who recently shared their thoughts on this question: How do you listen to your life?  full article here

It’s True: You Are Free

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“Man is free at the moment he wishes to be.”
— Voltaire

By Ginny Kravitz, Deputy Editor

Being free has many meanings.  Today, let’s focus on how the truth can set you free. Truth, communication, and freedom — a correlation most definitely exists.

Speak the Truth

Madeline is a client and health care professional who is realizing the power of communicating more effectively with her patients, staff, and others. Recently she summed up the benefits of what she calls “communicating clearly while holding my peace”:

“I get to walk away unburdened and free in many ways. What I have found amazing is how the truth of a situation just kind of rises to the top like cream. I have also seen that some folks operate with smoke and mirrors quite a bit. My new way of communicating blows all that stuff away so there is really nothing to hide behind. Most things just lay bare and hopefully we can move on.”

Pick Up The Key

What is the truth of your situation or whatever is challenging you most at this time? Before any significant progress can be made, it is essential to get real and tell the truth to yourself. For example, you may have some valid gripes about your work environment, but aside from those, you know deep down that you’ve wanted to make a change for years. Likewise, the truth about a relationship that irritates you may be that it’s time for you to no longer allow what you’ve previously tolerated.

The whole truth encompasses much more than the factors that constrain you; it includes what is within your power to change. What’s the part you can do something about? Is it an attitude, a new way of seeing yourself, a better way of communicating, or an action plan to formulate? The key is within your reach.

Exercise Your Freedom

We often perceive ourselves to be more limited in our choices than in fact we are. Do not dwell on where you feel constrained. Instead, realize how you are free.

This Week’s Call to Action:

Where in your life have you been operating as if imprisoned or unduly limited by your choices?Does it involve your job, a relationship, your time, having a voice?

Decide to do something you have been meaning to do or have just realized you are free to do. Whether on a large scale or a more subtle one, it does not matter. Do this because you can. Notice where you are free, realize what might be possible, and take action.

Exercise your freedom, demonstrate that you value it, and freedom flourishes.

“It is not the fact of liberty but the way in which liberty is exercised
that ultimately determines whether liberty itself survives.”
— Dorothy Thompson

How Good Are You At Asking For Help?

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By Ginny Kravitz, Deputy Editor

72 Thank-You Notes

After months of networking and doing all the right things that a professional does when laid off from a 30-year career, Genevieve hit a low point. During two painfully quiet weeks waiting for the phone to ring, all she felt was discouraged. Then it happened. In a matter of a few days, six invitations for interviews streamed in along with a solid job offer. Marveling at how things could change so quickly, Genevieve was grateful to see the seeds she had planted finally sprouting.

The very first thing she did after accepting an offer was make a list of people to thank. That list had 72 names on it — that’s 72 people who helped her in some way during her job search. As she set to work writing thank-you notes, Genevieve told me she had “writer’s cramp for a great reason”.

Picturing Genevieve writing all those notes got me thinking about my own list of 11 people who —just within these past two weeks— have helped me in some way with a current project I’m working on.  Considering that this list would be longer if the snapshot was of a month vs. two weeks, I’d say I’m not shy about asking for help!

Opening Up To Accepting Help

Rebecca, who completed the Now What?® program earlier this year, recently called to tell me how happy she is with the direction she is pursuing and that after going through a period of uncertainty, she has recently made great progress. I asked her what had made the difference in creating this new momentum and without hesitation she answered: “Opening up to accepting help. Accepting that we can’t do it all. You work it out by letting go. Piece by piece, you learn to let go of many things. Opportunities show up. Things fall into place once you start moving.”

My niece Mary Grace, now a sophomore at Villanova University, wrote about this issue in one of her college application essays. Acknowledging that she previously viewed needing help to be an admission of inferiority, Mary Grace states, “Now I consider the art of asking for help not as a sign of weakness, but of self-assurance, maturity, and courage. So at the risk of appearing imperfect, I ask for help anyway.”

Who Can Help You With That?

Rebecca cites opening up to accepting help as the breakthrough from uncertainty to momentum. Mary Grace now considers asking for help an “art”. How good are you at asking for help? If your answer is “not so good,” make it a point to get better.

This Week’s Call to Action:

Within the last 30 days, who has given you some kind of help? Whether it was in large or small ways, appreciate the value of what was offered and apply it well.

Name three people who can help you with a current problem or endeavor. Reach out to them now.

“…I eventually realized that learning comes at least as much
through exposure to and interaction with others’ gifts and knowledge
as it does through individual effort.”
— Mary Grace Mangano

Have You Found The Entry Point?

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by Ginny Kravitz, Deputy Editor

Clarity Takes You There

“If this isn’t it, I trust it will lead there.” I smile when I hear someone I’m coaching say those words. Brenda is at the point of trusting the clarity she has received enough to move forward. This is especially significant as she’s been at the same crossroads six times before over the course of her life. Each time Brenda chose what felt like the more predictable path instead of what captured her interest the most. This time she is choosing differently.

At some point in your life and probably more than once — when you’re younger, older, or somewhere between — you’re bound to go through the process of trying to figure it out: the answer to what will make you happy and fulfilled in your work as well as take care of you financially. What typically follows soon after the discovery of what you would like to do is a stream of doubts and worries about how realistic it is and what the chances are of success. You’ll wonder: Is this really it?

Just how much of the trail must be in view in order for you to know it’s the right direction? What Brenda realizes is that all she needs to solve for right now is the entry point: the trailhead to take that will open up her future.

What’s Enough To Go On?

The reason it made me so happy to hear Brenda’s words is that learning to trust the entry point is a critical life skill that is more important than seeking any one right answer.

Trusting the entry point often involves a leap of some kind. This is different from making impulsive choices that lack staying power. There is a due diligence to perform, a process where you can align your decisions with:

  • What’s important to you (needs & values);
  • Your disposition and talents (personality, skills & experiences);
  • Who you are (interests, passion & purpose);
  • Other criteria (situational requirements & your preferences).

While not every idea is meant to be turned into a career or life path, if the idea passes through your due-diligence process and feels right to you, it may be time for you to recognize it as your entry point and step onto the path.

What’s next is what you need to know. What’s “next after next” you don’t need to nail down. The details will work themselves out. When you go for a mountain hike, you look at a map and there are various trailheads from which to choose. You pick the one that you think will give you the best hike. Once you’re out on the trail, you can alter the route if needed.

Trusting Your Entry Point                                                        

As you consider what’s next for you, ask yourself: Do I have clarity and have I found my entry point?  If not, seek input from others as you conduct your due-diligence process.  Am I acting on my clarity and moving forward? If not, identify people who will encourage you and support you to take that bold step.

Trusting the entry point is acting on the clarity you have right now and letting the rest unfold.

“We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal
and then leap in the dark to our success.”
— Henry David Thoreau