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Holiday

The Holiday Secret Sauce

By Laura Berman Fortgang on December 24, 2015

I’ve written before about being Jewish and why I love Christmas. This past Saturday, when I went to yoga for the first time in awhile, I heard something from the teacher’s dharma talk that gave me new insight into the ‘Secret Sauce’ that makes the holiday season so special.

This may seem obvious, but stay with me. The Secret Sauce is wonder. Yes, wonder! xl_6202_secret-sauce-finedininglovers

Obvious in some ways: Kids remind us of the bright-eyed innocence we once possessed, the lights and sights (New York City at Christmastime, a snow covered field) and the glitter and majesty of gifts, parties, and religious rites.

But it’s more than that. Wonder is a state of full presence. It’s a state of connection to our greatest capacity for love and compassion.

As Jesse Prinz, a professor of philosophy at the City University of New York, said, we might feel a physical sensation like the swelling of our heart when we are in a state of wonder. Cognitively, we cannot connect what we are experiencing to something we already know or it wouldn’t be wonder.

Even if we’ve seen something before, if we feel wonder, we are seeing it in a new way or as if we were seeing it for the first time. We might even gasp and utter the word “Wow!” as we process what we see and feel.

The heightened expectation, even in the face of an event we anticipate annually, puts us in a state of wonder. For there to be wonder, there must be a lack of certainty. We can’t be ‘in’ wonder if we know what is going to happen.

It’s like my yoga class itself. I go to class with a reasonable expectation of what will transpire. We’ll sit on our mats, wait for the teacher to begin, spend some time centering and reflecting, warm up our bodies, then move in to increasingly difficult movements until we hit a high point and start slowing down.

Finally, we get to stretch and then lie down in savasana (dead man’s pose—my favorite —who doesn’t love lying down to nap while exercising!?) I know what’s going to happen. But I don’t really .

I have to be fully in the present to be in the poses. The endorphins kick in as the work gets harder. Fully present to breath and movement, and soon, I’m in wonder.

Wonder at the simplicity that is also difficult and the collective breath that moves the whole room to a place of greeting the divine within us and each other (although late comers to class asking me to move my mat so they can find a place pisses me the hell off—divine evolution is clearly a work in progress!)

Consider this, if you will. We do this thing called the holidays every year. We basically know what to expect and yet it induces wonder. We must surrender a lot of ‘reality’ to feel the magic.

This can also be a sad time of year for so many. If the ‘secret sauce’ is wonder and not dependent on family (which most people complain about anyway!), can we create that magic for ourselves? How do we take a melancholy time and turn it into wonder?

As I said, it requires surrendering reality and getting in touch with the love, the discovery, the newness of right now whether it’s fully desirable or not. It’s not easy but it is in our sphere of influence.

As we enter the final days of this year, consider how you could launch in to 2016 with wonder and do things differently than you’ve ever done before? How might you change things up to allow a state of wonder to guide you?

Ponder that with a hot chocolate or hot toddy. I’ll see you on the other side of the holiday season.

happy_holidays

Filed Under: Now What? Newsletter Articles Tagged With: 2016, career reinvention, career transition, Holiday, holiday blues, holiday season, Inspiration, Laura Berman Fortgang, motivation, new venture, new year, Now What Coaching, Now What? 90 Days to a New Life Direction, take action, wisdom from yoga, wonder, yogaLeave a Comment

H-O-L-I-D-A-Y 2014

By Laura Berman Fortgang on December 18, 2014

Another end to another year. I thank you all for you readership and patronage in 2014 and look forward to what we might create together next year.holiday lbf
WISHING YOU A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY SEASON!

LAURA SIGN 2014

 

 

 

LBF and the Now What?® Authorized Facilitators

H-Holiness
O-Opulence
L–Light
I-Integrity
D-Disappointments
A-Attention
Y- Year-end Crunch

H is for Holiness
The season where Christmas, Hannukah and Kwanza are observed, brings our hearts to a quieter place. As our pulse slows, our capacity to feel increases, and if we can fill our hearts with the meaning of these holidays. What these holidays ask us to remember allows us to tap that place we might define as holy. No matter what we call it, in all of us lies an essence of goodness that when felt, I think we can agree is holy. Meet the holy in yourself and everyone you come in contact with.

O is for Opulence
We buy gifts, put out our best house wares, put on nice clothes and enjoy festive food. It’s a time where we live like Kings in relative degrees across our socio economic landscape. We also remember our fellow citizens who can’t tap that richness on their own so we give as we can to share in the wealth. Feel the opulence whether yours in grand or small.

L is for Light
All the holidays of the season include lights—candles on the menorah and on the Kwanzaa kinara, candles in church and lights on the pagan symbols of the Xmas tree and in modern times, all over our homes. As our family lights the menorah, I ask my family to share what they see as the spark of light in each other. they roll their eyes and hate when I’m ‘coachy’ but to hear them tell each other once a year
how they see the goodness in each other, goes a long way to making the holiday more than gift frenzy. Acknowledge the light.

I is for Integrity
Yes, integrity. As odd as it may sound, as we make decisions about spending during this season and whom we include on our card list or invitation roster, our integrity gets a workout. Are obligations out of integrity or in integrity? Just something to think about. Feel free to comment here to share your thoughts on this.

D is for Disappointments
The holidays are not all joy and laughter. It’s a time of sadness for a lot of people. It’s a time when we think about how we feel let down by family, friends or life in general. It’s a time where the longing for people who are passed or no longer a part of our lives can be acute. There may even be disappointments about people’s behavior as the gatherings increase and new flaws become apparent or old flaws flare up. Let’s face it, the holidays can be a bummer. That doesn’t mean they should be avoided, but simplifying them and making some changes about where and whom you gather with might help. And if you are one of the people who feels terribly alone I know only one antidote. Do something for someone who needs help more than you do.

A is for Attention
In our schizoid divided-attention world, the holidays give us a chance to put our attention on family and friends. Whether it’s for a short gathering or the holiday weekends, the non-workaholics can lay down their phones and care. Care. The people in your life just want you to care. Pay attention, listen, spend time together
and elevate your connection above the ordinary.

Y is for Year-End Crunch
Tax planning, year-end giving, gift shopping, work completion, parties to add to your schedule, kids’ concerts and events, and holiday prep make this month a stress bomb. What can you do? Not care, not go, bow out. But if not, my best advice is put a note in your calendar for October 2015 to start next year’s year-end chores.
Leave only what’s necessary for December. We know it’s coming every year . Why is it such a surprise?

My Wish for You
I hope you experience the best of what the holiday season can offer. May you use it to restore your soul and bring you into a New Year kinder and gentler with yourself and more aware of your ripple effect in the world.

Namaste

Filed Under: Now What? Newsletter Articles Tagged With: Holiday, holiday wishes, Holiness, OpulenceLeave a Comment

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