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holiday season

The Holiday Secret Sauce

By Laura Berman Fortgang on December 24, 2015

I’ve written before about being Jewish and why I love Christmas. This past Saturday, when I went to yoga for the first time in awhile, I heard something from the teacher’s dharma talk that gave me new insight into the ‘Secret Sauce’ that makes the holiday season so special.

This may seem obvious, but stay with me. The Secret Sauce is wonder. Yes, wonder! xl_6202_secret-sauce-finedininglovers

Obvious in some ways: Kids remind us of the bright-eyed innocence we once possessed, the lights and sights (New York City at Christmastime, a snow covered field) and the glitter and majesty of gifts, parties, and religious rites.

But it’s more than that. Wonder is a state of full presence. It’s a state of connection to our greatest capacity for love and compassion.

As Jesse Prinz, a professor of philosophy at the City University of New York, said, we might feel a physical sensation like the swelling of our heart when we are in a state of wonder. Cognitively, we cannot connect what we are experiencing to something we already know or it wouldn’t be wonder.

Even if we’ve seen something before, if we feel wonder, we are seeing it in a new way or as if we were seeing it for the first time. We might even gasp and utter the word “Wow!” as we process what we see and feel.

The heightened expectation, even in the face of an event we anticipate annually, puts us in a state of wonder. For there to be wonder, there must be a lack of certainty. We can’t be ‘in’ wonder if we know what is going to happen.

It’s like my yoga class itself. I go to class with a reasonable expectation of what will transpire. We’ll sit on our mats, wait for the teacher to begin, spend some time centering and reflecting, warm up our bodies, then move in to increasingly difficult movements until we hit a high point and start slowing down.

Finally, we get to stretch and then lie down in savasana (dead man’s pose—my favorite —who doesn’t love lying down to nap while exercising!?) I know what’s going to happen. But I don’t really .

I have to be fully in the present to be in the poses. The endorphins kick in as the work gets harder. Fully present to breath and movement, and soon, I’m in wonder.

Wonder at the simplicity that is also difficult and the collective breath that moves the whole room to a place of greeting the divine within us and each other (although late comers to class asking me to move my mat so they can find a place pisses me the hell off—divine evolution is clearly a work in progress!)

Consider this, if you will. We do this thing called the holidays every year. We basically know what to expect and yet it induces wonder. We must surrender a lot of ‘reality’ to feel the magic.

This can also be a sad time of year for so many. If the ‘secret sauce’ is wonder and not dependent on family (which most people complain about anyway!), can we create that magic for ourselves? How do we take a melancholy time and turn it into wonder?

As I said, it requires surrendering reality and getting in touch with the love, the discovery, the newness of right now whether it’s fully desirable or not. It’s not easy but it is in our sphere of influence.

As we enter the final days of this year, consider how you could launch in to 2016 with wonder and do things differently than you’ve ever done before? How might you change things up to allow a state of wonder to guide you?

Ponder that with a hot chocolate or hot toddy. I’ll see you on the other side of the holiday season.

happy_holidays

Filed Under: Now What? Newsletter Articles Tagged With: 2016, career reinvention, career transition, Holiday, holiday blues, holiday season, Inspiration, Laura Berman Fortgang, motivation, new venture, new year, Now What Coaching, Now What? 90 Days to a New Life Direction, take action, wisdom from yoga, wonder, yogaLeave a Comment

The Effect You Have

By Laura Berman Fortgang on December 8, 2010

by Ginny Kravitz, Deputy Editor

Today’s profile demonstrates that while sometimes big changes are needed to fulfill your life’s passion, it’s not always necessary to carve out an entirely new career path. For some people, passion is directly related to the fields they choose. For others, passion exists alongside the career, each supporting the other.

Mindy’s Story

In 2006, Mindy participated in a Now What?® Group Coaching Program to explore possible new paths to take her career. Interestingly, what emerged as a powerful theme was her love of music and her desire to pick up the violin again. This clue informed her as she sought to articulate her purpose — who she is at her core. Mindy expresses this as: to bring lightness of spirit to other people. She began to give her niece violin lessons and eventually joined a community orchestra.

Today Mindy attends weekly rehearsals and performs at concerts once a month. Mindy has had the honor of playing second chair First Violin and in order to hold her place she must practice consistently and compete with her fellow players on quality. Playing the violin is an activity Mindy enjoys alongside her full time job as a Support Availability Manager with an IT Management Software and Solutions Company.

What Mindy said upon completion of the coaching program in 2006:

“I liked the way we were to let go of our previously conceived “can’t” list and work from a place in the past when we were invited to dream more on our future… and that to do this process we had to remain open and not pigeon-hole ourselves.”

“The most meaningful discovery I made… is that regardless of where I work, I create my reality by my choices.”

What Mindy says today:

“Each week at concerts, I’m aware that by stepping out of my work reality into this other aspect of my life, I am completely taken over by it.  When I am through, I notice a change in my sense of self.  It challenges me in a way I am not utilizing for work, and I am giving something that seems very tangible to people who get a new experience at every concert we play.  It is a bit Zen-like because when I am through, my senses are reawakened, I even breathe differently, and I am at peace — I don’t get that any place else. I almost can’t drive my car correctly after rehearsals!”

What Affects You?

What accompanied Mindy’s clarity of purpose was not a drastic career change but rather a desire to pick up the violin again after many years. Just as she wanted to “bring lightness of spirit” to others, Mindy experiences lightness of spirit when she abandons herself to the music. And so it goes with living your purpose. The effect you have on others is directly related to what affects you deeply.

This Week, consider:

Like playing the violin for Mindy, what affects you deeply? What kinds of things are you drawn to? When you are engaged in them, what is the effect you have on others?

What brings you lightness of spirit? Whatever it is, make some room for it this holiday season and share it with those around you.

Filed Under: Inspiration to Follow Your Blueprint, Now What? Facilitator Grads Tagged With: bring lightness of spirit to other people, challenges, community orchestra, effect you have, First Violin, Ginny Kravitz, holiday season, other aspect of my life, passion, passion exists alongside the career, stepping out of my work reality, Support Availability Manager, violin lessons, what affects you deeply, What brings you lightness of spirit?, What kinds of things are you drawn toLeave a Comment

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