Now What?® Coaching

from Laura Berman Fortgang

career reinvention

You Don’t Have to Be a Celebrity to Join the A-List

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You Don’t Have to Be a Celebrity to Join the A-List
​But you do have to act like one.

Here’s what I see coaches and entrepreneurs doing every single day. They’re talented. They create genuine transformations in people’s lives. Yet they’re out there hustling, discounting their prices, watering down their message, trying to reach everybody. They’re treating their business like an open audition that never ends.

I want to ask them one question: What are you auditioning for?

Meryl Streep doesn’t send in audition tapes. Denzel Washington doesn’t line up in hope. At a certain level of this game, we’ve got to stop asking, “Will they pick me?” and start asking, “Do I want to work with them?” That shift — right there — is the A-List mentality.

You don’t get on the A-List by earning it.
You get there by deciding you’re on it, and then bringing it into fruition.

THE PROOF

I’ve had some incredible opportunities in my career, and none of them came the way you might expect. I got to be on the Oprah Winfrey Show. I have a TEDx talk with over two million views. My first book? They asked me to write it. I didn’t send a single query letter.

None of it came from spending all my time trying to engineer my way to the next level. It came from one thing: Showing up one hundred percent, every single time.

Not 90% because I was tired. Not 80% because the fee wasn’t what I wanted. A hundred percent, consistently, and without questioning whether I belonged. Look — I’m human. There are moments of doubt. There are moments of “Who am I to be doing this?” But you’ve got to put those thoughts out of your head as fast as possible. Certainty isn’t a feeling that arrives. It’s a decision you make.

THE 6 RULES OF THE A-LIST

The A-List isn’t something other people deem you worthy of. It’s something you deem yourself worthy of. Here’s how A-List coaches and entrepreneurs actually operate:

  1. They own their niche without apology.

Trying to serve everybody is a hiding strategy. When you’re vague, you’re hiding. Pick your lane; plant your flag. The more specific you are, the more magnetic you become, and the easier it is for the right people to find you.

  1. They set their own terms.

A-Listers aren’t auditioning. They ask for money with the same energy they’d order coffee at Starbucks — no doubt, no hype – just matter of fact. The ideal client doesn’t want the cheapest deal; they want the best.

  1. They protect their energy like it’s a contract clause.

Every yes to the wrong thing is a no to the right thing. A-Listers have learned to create a certain amount of scarcity in the market; not because they’re playing games, but because their time genuinely costs something. That’s the signal.

  1. They never question the room.

They don’t walk into a space wondering if they belong. Their energy precedes them. Certainty — and I’ve said this before — is not a feeling that comes to you. It’s a decision you make. You decide you belong. The energy in a room shifts around that belongingness. It is the most underrated business strategy alive.

  1. They build visibility on purpose.

Being excellent in private gives you a hobby business. Being excellent in public gives you a real one. Write the thing. Take the stage. Post the idea. The world can’t ask for you by name if it doesn’t know your name.

  1. They raise their standard of proximity.

You can’t think A-List thoughts in B-List rooms. It’s who you hang out with, who you’re in conversation with, who you mentor with. Put yourself in the environment that matches where you’re going, not just where you’ve been.

THE DECISION

Here’s what all six of those rules have in common: None of them require a publicist. None require a huge following. None require you to wait until you feel ready because the feeling of ready is often the story fear tells you to stay comfortable.

All they require is a decision. A decision that you’re done shrinking. Done discounting. Done explaining yourself to people who weren’t going to get it anyway. Done auditioning for opportunities that should be auditioning for you.

The A-List begins with you deciding you’re on it. It’s not waiting for you. It’s a decision you make.

Here’s the question I want to leave you with:

What would you do differently today if you already knew you were the person people ask for by name?

Go do that. Start now!

How to Stop Imposter Syndrome in Its Tracks

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Do you ever feel like an imposter?

Are you sometimes afraid that someone’s going to discover you have no idea what you’re doing — that you’re not the expert you proclaim to be, you’re not as skilled as you’ve made yourself out to be, and you’re not quite qualified to be in the position you’ve found yourself in?

Maybe you’re worried that you don’t measure up somehow, so it makes you feel like you’re pretending to be someone you’re not.

Here’s what this looks like.

Them: We’d like to interview you [for a dream job]!
You: Maybe they didn’t notice I don’t have enough experience.

Them: Congratulations! We’d like to offer you the [dream] job.
You: I’ll surely be fired by Tuesday, once they figure out I’m a fraud.

Them: We’ve selected your proposal to speak at the next conference.
You: Oh no! I’m probably going to make a fool out of myself.

Them: I’m looking for a coach, and I’d love to work with you.
You: But what if I can’t help you get results, and you tell everyone I’m a con?

I’m not a doctor, but as a Master Certified Credentialed Coach with 30 years of experience, I can confidently assess what’s happening here.

Imposter Syndrome

Don’t worry; it’s not fatal to your career or success.

Most people struggle with it from time to time, and it’s entirely “treatable.”

If you feel like your Imposter Syndrome is flaring up, here’s what I suggest you do —

  1. How to Stop Imposter Syndrome in its Tracks by Laura Berman FortgangPause and accept what’s happening. No sense in ignoring the symptoms. Denying it only makes things worse by trying to overcompensate.
  2. Learn to recognize your triggers (comparisons, someone else’s recent success) and how you respond, so you can head it off at the pass. Before you go into a full-on panic, tell yourself, “This is just imposter syndrome flaring up again. Nothing alarming. You can do this.”
  3. Notice your self-talk. As soon as you start beating yourself up, STOP. It may sound easier said than done, but you can tell yourself “no.” No more negative self-talk; you’re not listening.
  4. Ask yourself what success looks like. Are you trying to measure up to a perfect ideal? Scratch that and aim for progress instead.
  5. Keep learning. The best way to keep Imposter Syndrome at bay is to continue seeking out new knowledge and ways of doing things, evolving, and growing your skill set.
  6. Celebrate wins! I can’t say enough about this. Remind your brain that you’re doing good things.

Do this again and again, every time Imposter Syndrome starts to creep up, and you’ll start experiencing it less and less.

Don’t get caught up in calling yourself an expert. Instead of thinking of yourself as someone who’s supposed to know everything, think of yourself as someone who makes it your business to learn everything you can about your particular topic of choice.

You’re not an imposter, so keep showing up as the best of who you are. You’ve got this!

The Power of Pumpkin Spice

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Fall is just around the corner again, and you know what that means — it’s pumpkin spice season!

I know … you’re either rolling your eyes, giddy with excitement, or couldn’t care less. But stick with me here, because we should all be paying attention.

Love it or hate it, there’s no denying the POWER of pumpkin spice.

I kid you not — studies have found that Americans are spending over half a BILLION dollars on pumpkin spice stuff every year. Buying up everything from Starbucks lattes to scented trash bags, industry insiders call it the “pumpkin spice economy.”

Sure, it may seem like things have gotten out of hand, and seeing the hype start in mid-August is a pet peeve of mine. Personally, I’m a fan of pumpkin spice, and I’m an even bigger fan of pumpkin spice as a marketing phenomenon.

Marketers have NAILED this. Here’s how —
    1. The Power of Pumpkin Spice by Laura Berman FortgangBuilding anticipation: Those of us who are fans of the rich, fragrant flavor and scent crave our first annual sip or whiff.
    2. Creating emotional connection: It’s become interwoven with the coziness of the season, like a warm sweater, crackling fires, and family holiday gatherings.
    3. Making a limited-time offer: Not being able to order it year-round makes it special. Consumers hurry to buy while they can, as much as they can.
    4. Establishing consistency: We know this thing is coming down the pike every year and have come to rely on it.

How can you translate these lessons into your business or career?

Anticipation: Talk about what you’re brewing up; create intrigue. Developing a new program? Offer hints along the way. Working on an exciting project? Let others know you can’t wait to share. Before long, people will be on the lookout for whatever you have going on and want in on it.

Emotional connection: Make sure people associate your work with something deeper than a commodity. You don’t just offer accounting services, but peace of mind. Not just coaching, but clarity and inspiration.

Limited access: Scarcity encourages people to take action. Offer a limited number of one-on-one coaching opportunities. Focus on projects that make the greatest impact rather than spreading yourself thin.

Consistency: Let people know what to expect from you, so they can look forward to your upcoming podcast episode, newsletter, program launch, or presentation at the next industry conference — and depend on you showing up.

I’d love to know how you’re going to spice things up this fall. Hit reply and share.

If Work is Your Identity

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For some people, work is their identity. It’s how they measure their worth, and that works for them. It gets a bad rap, but there’s nothing inherently wrong with deriving meaning from the work you’re called to do.

Being driven by your goals can serve you quite well … until it doesn’t!

Let’s face it —

You’re never going to succeed by sitting on your laurels.

Establishing yourself is going to come with some late nights, missed birthday parties, and sacrifice.

But there’s a limit to how much good it does you to burn the WiFi at both ends and stay glued to your phone.

Making your identity all about work is likely costing you, even more than you know.

If you’re thinking of yourself as “Ms. CPA Extraordinaire” or “The best SAHM Return to Work Career Coach” or “my company’s next SVP of Marketing” 24/7/365, you might want to take a breather every now and then.

If your family and friends are constantly teasing you or complaining about your job, it can be frustrating … but they might have a point.

If Work is Your Identity by Laura Berman Fortgang“All you ever do is work.”

“You always cancel on us.”

“When are you ever gonna take a vacation?”

There’s a good chance you’ve let workaholism creep in and take over.

Here’s the thing —

Even if you love what you do…

Even if you think doing more of it is your ticket to ride…

What got you here won’t necessarily get you to the next level.

Instead, you may hit a brick wall of disappointment.

Ignoring the voices – both internal and external – that say you’re working too much is a sure way to burnout.

Ignoring your personal desires and the people around you, putting everything off to a later date, means something is missing.

Maybe it’s time to reexamine what’s driving you.

Why are you making your identity about work? Look for the origin.

Did you make a vow to yourself to succeed at all costs?
Is being rewarded at work fulfilling a personal need?
Is work your source for love, acceptance, and self-worth?

What happens is work gives us all something good, but if something’s missing, that hit can become an addiction like anything else.

Once you’re aware of this, the hard part starts — lowering your standards. Yikes!

Once you know what’s lacking, you can start practicing acceptance of yourself without adhering to the highest standards.

If your identity is all about work and it’s COSTING you, this is what you need to do. It won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it.

Because here’s the kicker: Eventually, you will achieve MORE by doing LESS.

The Significance of the WIN

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When you’re looking to reinvent your career or start a business, resilience is crucial.

Because sooner or later, the going will get tough. You’ll need to not only stay motivated but also recover quickly and bounce back whenever you encounter difficulties.

One of the best ways to do this is to focus on your wins.

When facing challenge after challenge, it can feel like losing is imminent. Directing your attention toward your triumphs is like a continuous reminder that you’re actually someone who wins — and keeps winning — every day.

So whenever I work with a client, we start our session with a win.

Sometimes it’s something big — secured a dream job interview, landed a new client, booked a speaking gig, nailed a program launch.

But sometimes it’s something seemingly small — updating your resume, sending a newsletter, booking a discovery call, attending a networking event.

But a win is a win!

The Significance of the WIN by Laura Berman FortgangEven if you have to dig for it and rack your brain, always keep in mind that you’re a winner at something this month, this week, this morning… here’s why —

A win is something you WANT.
It’s INTEGRAL to your well-being.
And it NEGATES problems.

W.I.N.

If you have a challenging goal to tackle, wins can be the boost you need to get you there. Celebrating your victories leads to more favorable results.

A win changes your physiology. Focusing on your wins makes you shift from a stress-oriented mindset to one of possibility, wonder, and what’s next.

Your creativity amplifies, your problem-solving improves, and your confidence flourishes. You’re ready to take on the next step knowing there will be a positive outcome — if not exactly what you’re aiming for, something better than where you are. A win is imminent!

I’ll admit, this is easier said than done.

In fact, it’s been a personal challenge for me over the years. I thought my problems made me interesting, and I used them as comic fodder, part of my personality. But the self-deprecating humor wasn’t serving me.

It wasn’t until I learned to focus on what was right in my life that things began to shift. By focusing on what was right, I started doing more of what was right, and my wins beget more wins.

Success breeds success.

Break Out of the Norms You Set for Yourself

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Break Out of the Norms You Set for Yourself
I had to take a forced break from my usual live broadcast and my newsletter topic plan this past week due to my mother being in the hospital.

Between both my parents, other family members, and one of my children’s childhood spent in hospitals, I’ve been here all too many times.

HERE is disrupted, in hyper-vigilance, learning on the fly. It’s making important decisions while watching the American healthcare system flail and often fail to meet the needs of those that require care.

HERE is sitting with loads of time on my hands while I’m bedside to advocate for my loved one’s care, but not having enough brain power to do anything productive or move business forward.

HERE is going through every full-time job in your mind of what will be required to get your loved one to the next stage of care (or resuming their life) without being able to do anything to prepare because you have no idea when you have to activate a plan or what level of functioning you have to prepare for.

You can’t know until you know, which makes everything a last minute rush to an invisible finish line.

Good healthcare workers are heroes. Truly. I’m so grateful for those that truly care and fight alongside me for the care my loved ones need.

What I want to impart here is a call to action to wake up to your own life and shake yourself out of inertia. As I watch my mother struggle with a watershed moment where she is only likely to get worse and not better, I put forth this message to not let your life pass you by.

I’m not sharing about this personal challenge for your attention or sympathy. I don’t need it nor want it. I’m sharing to encourage you to shake off whatever is holding you back and take a bold action to move your life forward.

As hard as it seems, as impossible it appears to reach your desired outcome, as hopeless as your past results may make you feel, do something to break out of the norms you have set for yourself.

Yes, you have set them for yourself. You’ve accepted certain behaviors from yourself or others, you’ve let circumstances curb your possibilities, you may have even given up.
An All Too Familiar Place by Laura Berman FortgangSTOP THAT NOW.

Imagine sitting bedside (maybe some of you have) watching a loved one deteriorate to a shadow of their former selves. Imagine the things they never did and wanted to do.

The things they didn’t know how to say and never will. The wonderful things they did that they could never repeat again. What would that stir you to do?

Maybe it’s time to look at your bucket list. Maybe it’s just your to-do list that need a glance where you might find all the items are absurd in the bigger scheme of things.

Maybe it’s a look at your goals to find out if they’re really yours or better represent things you think you SHOULD do vs. really want to do. Maybe it’s just doing NOTHING and enjoying your life for a while that is the call. I don’t know, but you likely do.

I have nothing cataclysmic to share about what another round of being bedside is doing for me. Right now, it’s just draining and anxiety producing to not know what I’m preparing for.

So please, take heed. Break out of your fog. Take the driver’s seat of your life.