Now What?® Coaching

from Laura Berman Fortgang

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What Language Do You Speak?

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by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

Spanish? French? Arabic? German?  Those are not the languages I am looking for when I ask what language do you speak?  I am wondering if you up-language or down-language when you write or speak about yourself.  By that, I mean do you undersell, oversell or get it just right?

Whether you are marketing yourself as a business owner or a job candidate, the use of words is critical to your success.

I have had the recent pleasure of working with a director-level job candidate who exemplified the power of our choice of language.

Her resume read like a younger person with less experience than she really was.  The language was underselling her accomplishments and despite almost fifteen years in her industry, her resume read like that of a young hopeful.

She reworked the language to be more powerful and to better exemplify her solid experience.  Entries like  “Established a ____” became “Maintained full responsibility for ____”.  And  “Implemented _____” became “Pioneered the implementation of ____”.

It was no surprise that interview opportunities started to show up more readily once the changes were made.

Your word choices are colored by how you see yourself.  Are you afraid of bragging? Do you lack confidence in your accomplishments?  On the other extreme, do you embellish the truth too much?  Finding the right balance is key.  A strong self-image is important as long as you can wear ‘the suit’ you carry yourself in well.

Try this:  Have someone read your website, business brochure or resume out loud to you.  Then, answer these questions:

  • How did it feel to hear the language used in your materials?
  • If it was hard to listen to, why do you think that is?
  • Could the documents use some toning down or some ‘up-languaging’?

Before you change anything, have your buddy listen to you reading it.  Get their opinion of your answers to the above and make some changes accordingly.

If your language needs upgrading, be aware that you’ll need to practice saying those words in a mirror or mock interviews to get comfortable wearing them.  If you over embellished, practice being more truthful and know you are enough as you are.  Finally, become very conscious of what you say and please, choose to speak the language of success.

What business idea might you like to explore?

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Here we have three examples of women who started their own businesses.  In one case the business idea originated as a simple holiday gift; in another instance the business started as a sideline; the third business involved a more deliberate study of a potential market niche.  As Nan Langowitz, associate professor of management and entrepreneurship at Babson College states, “Even in an economic downturn, there’s opportunity for smart entrepreneurs.”

“My Brilliant (New) Career”

What “I Don’t Know” Really Means

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by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

“But I don’t know what I want to do!”

“I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know!”

“If only I knew what ‘IT’ was that I was supposed to do!”

I’ve heard all of these statements and more from seminar participants and clients. That overwhelming, anxiety-producing, adrenaline rush bordering on despair, which only someone searching for their next steps can feel. It’s very real, but experience has shown me that it is also grossly misinterpreted.

Sure, sometimes there really is not even an inkling of clarity and that usually requires more down time and stillness to get a spark to come. But for most people, I find that “I don’t know” really means “ I am too afraid to admit it”. You see, somewhere deep inside and maybe secretly expressed, is a dream, a wish, an inkling of an idea that is just too scary to admit. If you do recognize that you have a germ of a direction that interests you, then you may have to take action on it. You may have to be held accountable. You may have to give up life as you know it (suffering and all) to have it. That is HUGELY scary.

I find that “I don’t know” is a knee-jerk reaction to avoid the pain of the truth. “I don’t know” is like a shot of whiskey that keeps you numb and causes procrastination to persist. It amuses your friends or wears them out, but it serves the purpose of avoiding change.

I remember a participant at my Kripalu seminar one year who amused the whole class with her giddy repetition of the ‘I don’t know’ mantra until I finally asked her to take a deep breath and stop laughing when she said she did not know. She sobered up and once out of her adrenaline high could not longer repeat the phrase. I asked her to seriously tell us what little bit of clarity she already had about her career direction. She tried to fly off into giddiness again but I did not let her. Out it came. She admitted that she wanted to start her own business. Her husband, who was sitting next to her, instantly piped in and said: “She’s known that for years but she always has an excuse as to why she can’t do it.”

Busted! She spent the rest of the retreat weekend coming up with a plan instead of playing her ‘less than’ role of a giddy, flaky woman who did not know what she wanted.

What about you? What truths are you covering up with “I don’t know’s”? Put pen to paper and write down the truths you may be too afraid to face.

If you need a kick in the pants to do it, contact one of our facilitators or join me for the Kripalu retreat on April 29th- May 1st.

I don’t believe you don’t know. I believe you are just too scared to admit it. Tell the truth and take action. The world needs what you are afraid of doing.