“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”
Confucius
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Logic Alone is NOT Enough
Without the ability to both think things through intellectually AND to feel into our choices, decision-making is impaired and may not lead to actions that are ultimately right for us. This is something we see over and over in our Now What?® work – people who have followed a path that “made sense” but discounted or ignored the part of them that knew how they truly felt about their choices.
How Only Being Able to Use Logic to Make Decisions Destroyed a Man’s Life
Were You Set Up for Success but Feel Like a Failure?
Doing everything right is no guarantee that you’ll be happy or satisfied.
My Tedx Talk has been bringing me all kinds of interesting inquiries about coaching and people sharing their stories with me.
Sometimes, a theme emerges from a rush of interest and lately, I’ve been talking to young men in their late twenties and early thirties who had great promise tacked on them early on, and who are now lost and unsure of what would help them feel good about work.
These are people who did extremely well academically and got swept up in what the school and their parents assumed that meant they were to do. There was a path set out.
You showed success, you got put on the success track of more rigorous classes and more opportunities that led to impressive accomplishments for a college application.
They all got into prestigious schools and most did really well after having chosen majors that guaranteed them a job. They’ve worked at those jobs, and now hit a wall of loss and disappointment.
NO, nobody died, but the wave that swept them up crested. Now they find themselves out in the real world with good jobs, but no sense of who they are or what they want.
“How did I get here?” is what they are asking.
What about you? Are you asking the same question, even if for a different reason?
It’s so easy to get on a track, respond to what’s in front of you and succeed by jumping through the hoops held before you. It’s not unusual, then, at some point to begin questioning the whole thing.
What needs to happen next is something that I hope we can start asking our young people sooner. And we adults could stand to ask it of ourselves too.
Will the conventional path to success make you happy? A distinction needs to be drawn early on between success and happiness.
It’s not that they are mutually exclusive, but we get so focused on success in the hopes that it equals happiness (or at least money) that we don’t put happiness into the mix from the start.
Can we really answer that when we are in high school or college? That depends. Read on.
Here’s the problem: Nobody asked you why you wanted what you wanted.
You went along with what you were supposed to do and you did WELL. But doing well is no guarantee that you’ll like what you’re doing.
What do you want your life to look like?, kind of people do you want to be surrounded by? and What kind of location would you hope to live in?
What are the non-negotiables about working for you? For example, do you need to know you make a difference? Do you need to do something that is meaningful to you in some way other than a paycheck?
Can you know the answers to these things before getting out of school and experiencing life? I think you can. But it’s going to come from those that come before us modeling it for us.
Whether you are at this questioning stage yourself or you are guiding a younger person, the key is to dig deep and find who was in there before there were rules and fears and naysayers. That’s your Life Blueprint ®. Let us help you find it.
Think You Might Be an Entrepreneur at Heart?
Take a look at these 50 signs and see how many apply to you. Might it be time to follow that entrepreneurial venture that you’ve dreamt of?
Today’s Quote: What Makes Happiness
“It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.” Charles Spurgeon
Your Life Is Golden
by Ginny Kravitz, Now What? Facilitator
What’s Your Story?
Your resume only tells you so much. That’s why, when the winds of change are blowing, it’s best to look at your entire life story for guidance. I don’t mean the 500+ page tell-all you might write someday.
This is a two or three-page bulleted version with snapshot moments from throughout the decades. That’s a quick description of the Life Story, a central exercise from the Now What?® program.
It’s an atypical coaching assignment because it looks back in time instead of forward, however it’s not done with a psychoanalytic eye, but rather an intuitive one. The opportunity is to look back with great reverence, allowing the wisdom of your life to speak to you. Have you ever reflected on your life that way?
It Might Surprise You
As you can imagine, all kinds of things come up when you review the story of your life. Things you’ve classified as successes, failures, great times, and dark periods. Things that you’d put in the plus or minus column if you were keeping score. In the Now What?® program, we use the life story to find Clues to Clarity. One way to do this is to identify the Golden Threads.
These are themes and patterns that run throughout your life. Some threads are right on the surface while others are more embedded. Quite often the gold is found in surprising places. Kim, an executive and legal professional, realized that the impact of being diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in her early adult life is that it gives her good balance and reminds her about moderation.
This observation, pieced together with other golden threads in her life story, helped Kim identify her core purpose: to be the voice of reason. Having this purpose affirmed is something that continues to inform Kim’s professional contributions, parenting style, and life choices. (2) Jobs you hated and jobs you loved. Places you’ve lived and people who influenced you. Beginnings, endings, and everything you’ve experienced.
Nothing is ever a waste if you mine for the gold. What did you learn? Who have you become? How can that guide you now? That’s gold.
Like It’s Golden
Golden threads are interwoven through every phase of your life. In addition to your peak experiences, what if some of your toughest challenges were there to serve you, 
teach you, form you, and move you forward? Maybe it’s all gold.
This Week’s Call To Action:
- Take a walk through the decades and jot down your life story in bulleted format. Include significant events from your childhood, adulthood, personal life and career. What themes do you see? You can also seek input from trusted friends and advisors. (For an actual description of this exercise, refer to Chapter 4 of the Now What?® book.
- What is life showing you right now, at this present time? What is emerging to be expressed, shared, or honored in a deeper way?
- Get in the habit of asking: Where is the gold in this experience?
Remember this song? It’s still catchy, good one for the playlist.
Live your life like it’s golden… because it is.
Originally published for In the Current blog