Trapped With No Way Out

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When all you can see is what’s right in front of you, it’s very hard to be creative. You may be painfully aware that you can’t stand what you are doing for work right now and still be utterly unable to see any other options. It’s a phenomenon that I see over and over again as I talk to people who can’t find the incentive to stay where they are but have no idea what else they could do.

Trapped with no way outSometimes it seems that a career is on a trajectory similar to a laboratory mouse which has to travel straight in a narrow lane from one end of the box to the other. There’s no way to see over the walls of the lane to other possible paths, and all you can see is what is right in front of you. There is no way out and only one way to go – straight forward – on the same path you’ve been traveling.

Of course, this is an incorrect assumption, but it is also a very hard trap to get out of on your own. The key is to understand what choices got you in the box. How did you end up with only one pathway?

stuck on the same pathIt may have been the motivation to please your family or the intent to see a strong suit through. It could have been that you had to prove something to yourself or to others or that you didn’t think you could attain what you truly wanted. There are so many reason we find ourselves cornered by our resume and can’t see any other feasible way to go.

Josh was out of work when he hired me to help him figure out what was next. He detested his old job and knew he didn’t want to go back to the same type of work, but he could not get out of the one-way lane. The salary of his old kind of work was very alluring, but he would admit that the thought of doing the same thing again was mind numbing.

It took a lot of chiseling away at the barrier he had put around the truth of what he wanted. He wanted to tap into his roots as a musician. He knew that becoming a middle-aged rock star held no promise. However, we did eventually uncover many ways to combine his musical interests and business acumen to invent a totally new direction for him that had merit and were worth pursuing. He was able to get some traction exploring different possibilities.

A complete letting go is necessary. I imagine someone holding on to a ledge “white-knuckling” it. They are holding on for dear life and won’t let go. In my fictitious scenario, it’s not holding on in order to avoid falling to great injury or death, but it is with the same tenacity that people will cling to a path even while they admit they can’t stand the thought of continuing on.

Let go. Admit you don’t know what’s next AND stop running in one singular direction. Just stop and wait. Stop ignoring what is nudging you. Listen and trust it even if you’re scared. Stop and wait. You’ll know. And then, you’ll act.

I don’t believe it when people tell me they don’t know what they want to do. I think they do know but they are just too afraid to admit it.

Can we help? Let us know! We have a team of facilitators who’d love to help you find your next direction.

To Be Or Not To Be? That Is The Question

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To Be Or Not To Be? That Is The QuestionIn Shakespeare’s famous soliloquy, Hamlet was questioning whether or not to keep living. That is not today’s question. Let’s look at it a different way. Using the same words, consider the meaning of the famous phrase this way: “to be or not to be… myself?” That is today’s question.

“It’s not what you do for a living that will make you happy. It’s who that job allows you to be.” That is a key line from my TEDx Talk and from Now What? 90 Days to a New Life Direction which is the backbone of today’s question. If your job allows you to be yourself — the best parts of yourself — it will bring you satisfaction and likely a modicum of happiness.

Do you like who your job makes you be? Does it bring out your best or your worst? Do you simply tolerate your own behavior? Does it honor all you have to offer? Is it fulfilling?

IF the answer is no, don’t fret. Read on to find out how to get your mojo back.

You thought it was the job you hated. Nah. What you hate is how unaligned you are with yourself: your values, what you care about, what you want to contribute, and your best self.

What’s required is a turn-around of your focus. Stop performing your job and start protecting your soul.

To BE you again you have to:

  • Get rid of the vampires that suck your time, your energy, your goodness
  • Either find a motivating reason to be there or get out
  • Revisit your job description and explore if there’s a way to renegotiate it to better suit you
  • Make time for hobbies or outside-of-work pursuits that feed your soul (it may even be your family!)
  • Restore a sense of purpose by focusing a vision for what’s possible that is bigger than your need for a paycheck (on this job, a new job or outside of work) —a change in policy, culture, direction, branding, focus, product or a significant problem to be solved.

These are all pretty tall orders, I understand. However, just acting upon one of these bullet points would change how you feel about your work significantly. Choose one, keep it at the forefront, rinse and repeat.

Helping you make this shift is what we love to do at Now What?® Coaching. Let us know how we can support you to reach new levels of career and life satisfaction.