Now What? Newsletter Articles

It happened again.

I went to yoga and was inspired to share a distinction that could be useful. Again, the instruction was about the yoga poses, and it also made so much sense for life.

The teacher was encouraging the students in the room while we were all in a one-legged pose spreading the rest of our bodies into a pose that looked like we were flying.

She said: “Create space between the joints. Create space instead of worrying about how you look. This is not ‘look-at-me’ time. This is time to create space. Mental, physical, emotional, spiritual.”

In that moment, it made so much sense to me as a way to get the most from the pose, and it also resonated as a career concept. What are you in the game for? Are your career goals ‘look-at-me’ goals or are they goals for ‘creating space.’

It would help to clarify what I mean by creating space. Are you pursuing something that allows you to be and do all you are capable of? Does your work style or leadership style give other people room to grow or shine?

Does the product you provide (if applicable) help people expand or improve their world or circumstance? These would be ways that represent creating space and there could be more.

Certain stages of a career might require a healthy dose of ‘look-at-me’ behavior as you build your reputation. However, I would argue that you could easily be noticed or celebrated for being someone who creates space at every stage of the game, too.

For example, Dave was competitive and combative upon getting his second promotion at his company. He had gotten his previous promotion for being a cooperative can-do-er. He was awarded the new promotion on merit, as well, but he started to compete with others in a rush to climb the ladder.

He saw it as protecting his turf. When he didn’t get the next promotion in the time frame he’d hoped for and it went to someone else, he hired me to help him figure out what had gone wrong.

After six months, he was back on track and in good favor with leadership.

He also understood that if he had gotten the promotion in question, he had created enough bad will that he may have had difficulty having buy in, cooperation, and good team dynamics with the people he would have been managing.

He ultimately saw that not giving anyone else space had ironically hurt his chances to move ahead. As his reviews improved, he was ultimately promoted the next time around, and now he understood the kind of leadership that would be rewarded and fulfill him.

Do you ‘create space?’
If you do, how so and how can you do more?
If you don’t yet, where can you start to do so?
How does this apply to your home life? Your friends? Your primary relationship?

To create space, you first have to create space within yourself. How can you possibly expand your spirit of generosity unless you first expand it for yourself? Make room.

Breathe, stretch (try new things), learn, make mistakes, and most importantly, calm your stressed-out, busy mind.

Create space…….and you’ll create more, not less.

We are entering American Thanksgiving week which also heralds the start of the ‘holiday season’.

It’s that time of year again. That time when we re-evaluate and think about what we want the next year to bring.

It’s a time when we reignite charity in our hearts and feel a little more tender, maybe even sentimental.

In light of the recent attacks on Paris and elsewhere in our world, I’d venture to guess we are all just a little more aware of life’s fragility.

When we’re sensitive, more aware and even a little raw, we often benefit from heightened clarity. Our focus narrows and what is truly important becomes painfully clear. The superfluous melts away.

What matters?

That’s what begs to be answered, and I offer you this question as the appetizer to your holiday season.

What matters? What is really worth your time and effort and resources? What will ultimately make a difference?

Recently, I participated in a high-level mastermind group. I came in to the three-day event prepared to ask for coaching on a business idea I’d been brewing for a couple of months.

I was anticipating a flurry of ideas and a show of support for the direction I was considering. I was unprepared for what my colleagues actually helped me discover.

Being great coaches, they focused on what I said that made me light up. I was passionate about making the Now What? approach to career clarity and strategy the new norm, especially with young people

. I was excited about how schools and parents might use it to guide our young people toward a natural and meaningful path for them. Before I could even understand what direction I was spinning towards, they were throwing contacts at me that made me want to curl up on the couch in fetal position.

The names and places they were suggesting would be a big stretch.

After I shook off the shock, I realized that they had helped me to see what really mattered. As is often the case, it was clear to them before it was clear to me. I have no choice but to take the big stretches

. All the other priorities faded to the background. They don’t even seem to matter anymore.

It’s scary. It’s daunting. It’s a game changer. And, it’s really exciting.

What matters to you? What makes you scared and excited all at once? Act on THAT.

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you meet the season with peace, strength, and an awareness of and commitment to what really matters. Wouldn’t that be better than all the hype and stress?

Let me know how we can help.

Standing in front of 100 people the other night at a public lecture, I had two men sitting across the aisle from each other who did not know each other, but who unfortunately had a lot in common.

One was my 83-year-old father who has been retired for twenty years. Retirement wasn’t his idea, but there was this nuisance that he was being forced to learn on his job that he believed was a ridiculous fad. That fad was also known as a computer.

The other man was in his fifties and he was complaining about his recent interviewing experiences and how it’s been difficult to land a new job. We began brainstorming about unusual ways to run his job search, and I mentioned being on Linkedin. He immediately barked back that he didn’t ‘do’ social media. Not a great strategy for someone with a strong resume looking to expand their network and find new opportunity.

I understand that things change faster than most of us can absorb, but to flat out refuse to accept what has become the norm is self-sabotage. There is no excuse for that and no sympathy if things are not going your way.

Changing gears a bit, we’ve often heard of the ‘game’ of politics in a workplace. Politics are not everyone’s cup of tea and those who choose not to engage in it may or may not suffer the consequences. One could argue that it’s also a saboteurial move to not engage in office politics. But I don’t agree.

Fitting in with the culture of an organization is important, and if you are not a fit because you don’t ‘play the game’ you may well need find something else. However, it’s not detrimental to your employability.

On the other hand, refusing to master technology required to do your job or conducting a job search based on outdated strategies is not about honoring your values or not fitting in with a culture. It’s about making yourself obsolete. Please don’t do it.

How do you know if a new “fad” is worth following or not? Easy. Look at your results. Are you getting what you want? If not, you owe it to yourself to consider what you’ve judged as unnecessary. The bottom line is: Is the stance you’re taking hurting or helping you?

I am not without empathy in our rapidly changing world. Change is hard. When entire industries are disappearing or being forced to reinvent, we do not have the luxury to stand still.

In the 1980’s movie, War Games, two teens hacked a government computer that was playing all the possible moves that could result in nuclear war, and it became their job to beat the computer and save the world. The end game was discovering that ‘the only way to win was not to play the game’. For office politics, I’m on board with that. For changes to how we do business in this ever-changing landscape, not so much. You’ll take yourself out of the game altogether.

Grow, stretch, and remain relevant. Dig your heels in too deep and you’ll watch the world pass you by.

Coaching Questions:

What changes are you dragging your feet on that you know you must act on?
What do you know you need to stop or start doing immediately?
What will make the difference to your project, mission, or goal right now?

Let us know how we can help.

*From the movie War Games (1983)

As an actor, author, speaker, business owner, parent and community leader, there are many moments when someone wants me to do something on a timeline that is not of my own making.

“You need to jump on that opportunity!”
“ You know what we really need? You should…..”
“If you don’t do that now, you won’t get/ have….”

There’s some wisdom in acting while the ‘iron is hot’, but rushing isn’t always the best strategy either. How many messes and regrets have been created by acting in haste? I’m sure you can count a few. So can I.

On the other end of the spectrum are the people who have big hopes and good intentions who can’t seem to take action or get traction at all! There are so many aspects to the exploration of timing.

How do we know the time is right for something? How do we know if our lack of action is self-sabotage or some divine pause that promises great result? Here are a few things to consider:

Push vs Pull—Does this new to-do make you feel heavy and downtrodden or does it excite you and interest you even if you have no idea how you’d possibly make it happen? It must compel (pull) you.

If you feel like you’re being pushed to do it, think twice.

Check Your Gut—The next time someone throws a ‘should’ at you, take the time to pause and feel your gut reaction. Is it a yes in your deepest core? If not, take more time to think. Don’t force it to become a yes. If you do have to force it, you’ve got your answer.

Watch The Pain—If you are wondering if you’re procrastinating or just operating on your own special timing, notice how much pain you’re in. It’s pretty simple.

If you’re suffering in your current situation, beating yourself up, feeling anxious and/or reacting to your timing, you could stand to take a bold move to break the inertia.

If you are really not feeling prompted to make a change and there’s no emotional cost to you, play it out. Sometimes, ‘not now’ is appropriate.

Call for Help—If you’re stopped from making a decision or taking action because you get overwhelmed by the workload, the order in which things should happen, or you need a sounding board, it’s time to ask for help. Friends, family or a pro, the decision is yours.

Everyone has their own pace. Some of us stroll, some of us can’t bare anything slower than a frenetic sprint. Get to know your pace and how it changes in certain scenarios.

There are only so many ‘front burner’ projects we can have. Just don’t let the pain get too great if you are considering a big move and dragging your feet.

Time waits for no one. Choose with awareness, and don’t rush.

Let us know how we can help.

If you know my story, you might remember that I suffered a devastating breakdown in my twenties that I created my own comeback strategy for. Anxiety and fear completely ruled my life for three torturous years. It was a hard-won, yet simple, adjustment in my focus that allowed me to re-enter life as a healthy person.

Chaos and confusion can cause many things but one of them is overwhelm.

Us humans, when faced with overwhelm, break down, go manic or shut down completely because our systems can’t take it.

There is another solution.

Adjusting your focus.

In overwhelm, we are flailing to do too much or get paralyzed not knowing where to begin. The key is to block out the noise and narrow your focus onto something you CAN control.

Make it simple by narrowing the aperture and dealing with the ‘subject’ that is right in front you. It may just be breakfast, an essential meal to fuel your brain and body to get ready for the rest of it. It may be the person in front of you that needs your attention most at that moment. I may be just stopping and taking ten deep breaths so you can center yourself. Whatever it is, it’s a narrower focus being called for so your vision can become clear again.

We are offering a way to do that if you are working on your next step in work or life.

Join us this week for our Now What? Summit this week—Unusual Strategies and Proven Results for Making Your Career Transition.

9 sessions with 9 different areas of focus that will help you get moving . No more blurriness! Only sharp focus which will result in action. And it’s ABSOLUTELY free.

TUES, WED and THURS this week! See you there. REGISTER NOW