“The secret of achievement is to hold a picture of a successful outcome in the mind.” Henry David Thoreau
Now What Q&A-Unemployed and Interviewing
Today’s question comes from a member of our community who participated in a recent Community Call, and is answered by Laura Berman Fortgang.
Question:
My position as a Benefits Manager and HR generalist was eliminated last year. When I’m on an interview, I need a 
better way to answer the question: What have you done in the last year? The caller then described some of the positions for which she had interviewed, yet did not convey enthusiasm for them.
Answer:
My immediate gut reaction is it sounds as if you don’t want a job in this field. I get that you need money and it’s the path of least resistance. In a new field there might be an initial salary reduction but with growth potential. You might like to take a look at the life story exercise in Chapter 4 of Now What?®. Interpreting your life story will help you pick up on themes and generate ideas about future roles to explore.
In terms of how to respond to interviewers who ask what you’ve done since becoming unemployed, the most important thing is to show that you’ve been using the time prudently, whether that includes researching certain fields or learning something new. Focus on the positive and on how you’ve been productive with the time.
Best Job Sites 2012
Here’s a handy list of job search engines and other job sites that may be helpful in your quest.
Today’s Quote: Believe in Yourself
“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” Norman Vincent Peale
Now What? Q&A-Knowing When You’ve Found It
Today’s question comes from a member of our community in Washington, DC who participated in a recent Community Call, and is answered by Laura.
Question:
During the last few months, I’ve been doing some soul searching. Since graduating law school three years ago and
working as an attorney, I realize that I’m not sure I want to continue in this field. Because I haven’t been at it that long, I figure if I’m going to make a change it’s a good time to do it. I have a couple of ideas and am researching them. How do you know when you’ve found the right field? When I consider options, am I turning away because I know it in my gut or out of fear? Sometimes, I’m interested in an option but I think to myself: Am I really going to throw this away?
Answer:
Good for you, that you’ve been researching options proactively. The sheer process of elimination will help. It’s important to be able to tell the difference between fear and “this isn’t right for me”. When I hear people say, “Am I really going to throw this away?” I know it’s about fear. You’ve invested a lot of time and money into your legal career — be assured that none of it will be a waste. From your description of the options you’re investigating (combining law and international education), it sounds like you haven’t yet exhausted the possibilities.
Check out Chapter 2 in Now What?®, to help you see what you’re taking with you as you move from this role to the next. And Chapter 7 will help you get specific with your values and needs so that you can starting matching them to the different careers you’re evaluating. Don’t give up! You’re doing all the right things and asking the right questions.
Purpose Is A Journey, Not A Destination
by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang
(Originally published at Huffington Post )
It’s not uncommon in personal development curriculum to explore what one’s life purpose is. It’s a worthy pursuit to answer the age-old question of “What am I meant to do?” and yet I know it to be a confusing and painful process for some people.
Do you agonize over finding your purpose? Do you reject what you think your purpose might be because it’s not “big enough”? Do you wonder if you are really meant to do anything significant with your life?
I am a huge proponent of figuring out one’s purpose and living it fully. The part I have a problem with is the misconceptions people have about finding it and what they think it should be.
Finding one’s purpose in life is not the destination. Once you recognize it, own it and begin to fulfill it, you have launched yourself on a journey of twist and turns that will take the rest of your life to complete.
You see, purpose is not something you choose. It’s not a slogan or a bumper sticker that if you like it, you don it on your car or business card. Purpose chooses you. It is something you ARE, not something you DO. And that’s where most folks go wrong… they use a WHAT to describe what is really a WHO.
“My purpose is to make a difference.”
“I help other people.”
“My purpose is to make an impact on everyone I meet.”
“My purpose is to create the biggest _________ (fill in the blank with a save-the-world project).”
These are not WHO qualities that are as central to your being as your DNA. These are WHATs or “to-dos” that you think will make you a better person if acted upon.
Purpose reflects your life’s blood. The energy that runs through you that is the unique contribution you make anywhere you go/are. It doesn’t require a heck of a lot on your part. It’s just part of who you are. People gravitate toward this essence of your being that affects them intellectually, spiritually, emotionally or even physically.
Really, no two people’s purposes are alike. Two people may have similar ones, but no two will express their purpose in exactly the same way. For example, maybe you are a voice for justice, a midwife to ideas or to people’s potential, a bridge to peace or communication, or someone who calls forth smiles, or someone who empowers. You may be an action, you may be a noun. It doesn’t matter, but it is something you just are and always have been, even if you stand still and do nothing. People gravitate to you for this.
One of my favorite stories about purpose comes from The Mutant Message Down Under by Marlo Morgan, which is an account of a woman being kidnapped by Aborigines in the Australian outback and being forced to live with them. One of her observations was that no one in the tribe had a biblical or given name. Their name was their purpose in the tribe. The songstress, the peacemaker, the cook, the medicine woman — they were their function. In this case, they are described in nouns but they were not the to-dos of that function. That function was undeniably who they were. They would not be themselves without fulfilling that function. Interesting to me as well was that they only celebrated birthdays when they evolved to a new level of purpose rather than when the lunar calendar came around to the date of their birth.
Imagine the peace you would have if you truly understood your part in the whole in that way. Imagine the focus to your every day. That is the gift of uncovering and living your purpose.
If you are one of the people still not clear about your purpose, keep in mind there are two criteria that tell you you’ve found it: 1) It’s something you already are or do naturally, and 2) it impacts others. No one has a purpose alone in a vacuum.
Not being able to name it gives people a lot of distress, but it could simply mean there is more inner work to be done before you are ready to live your purpose fully.
Many also worry that their purpose needs to be grand or world-changing. I call this the “Mother Theresa Syndrome” — as if one’s purpose is not worthy if it is not on the fast track to sainthood. Ironically, it was Mother Theresa herself who said: “We do not DO great things. We do small things with GREAT LOVE.” And there begins the promise of purpose. When we all give with great care, understanding, respect, and compassion, we are fulfilling our reason for being. The ripple effect is initiated and it is not ours to control.
So, please, forget crafting a purpose statement. It’s not a destination or the promised land. Make the journey to just being real. When you are fully and undeniably yourself, you won’t have to ask what your purpose is, because you’ll already be living it. It is as simple as that. It’ll just be you!
For more by Laura Berman Fortgang, click here.