Now What?® Coaching

from Laura Berman Fortgang

Now What? Newsletter Articles

JUST SAY ‘YES’ AND BEAT THE ODDS

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by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

Weather, global finance, national recovery: It’s such a time of negative, gloomy news that it’s easy to get dragged down. There is plenty of evidence that the gloom and doom is true and may be apt to set your expectations accordingly.  But should you?

Absolutely not!

As naïve as it may sound, there is no better time to become determined that YOU will beat the odds!  In recent weeks, I’ve had clients get great job offers, sell a home at a good price, get more work at a higher fee than previously and land a seemingly miraculous opportunity.  In a time when those things are supposedly scarce, how did these people do it?

They said “YES.” 

First of all, they said yes to themselves.  They knew they were worth what they wanted and they behaved accordingly.  They asked for what they wanted instead of underbidding in fear that tough times could not accommodate their true wants.

They made a YES list.  They were specific about what they wanted, how much they wanted to be paid and the conditions that would surround getting the result.  So, it wasn’t just selling the house; it was selling the house for more than was needed for the next place, to people they were happy to sell to.

Finally, they also entertained every offer or step with an open mind.  They did not judge or become jaded. They were open to meeting anyone who showed up in their life as a possible vehicle for the next step in getting to their goal.

Whether it’s a job search, starting a new business, growing an existing one in a new direction or taking on some other thing that conventional wisdom balks at right now, be THE one that beats the odds.  It really just a matter of saying YES.

BORROW FROM THE PAST TO CATAPULT YOUR FUTURE

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by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

For at least two years, I have been seeing a pattern in career transition clients that has confirmed a theory that I have relied on for a long time. It seemed that every time a client was really at a standstill in the progress of their career or even their job search, the key to reclaiming momentum and positive results was to pick up a piece of their past passions and add it to the current mix.  Reinventing by including a forgotten piece of a person, seemed to unlock the doors to luck and results.

Recently, I could even add myself to the list of anecdotal evidence.

This year started with a slow drag.  A long time employee had to leave suddenly and one of my children had to spend time in the hospital (all is fine).  It was not the momentum I had anticipated.  Once I finally surrendered to the inevitable pace, I had some time to think and I recognized that I wanted to have a lot more fun with my work.  A series of ah-ha’s finally coalesced to one big volcanic flash of understanding.  I needed to bring a huge piece of my past that had been put aside happily for seventeen years into the present.

You see, at the top of the year I had also treated myself to performing in my first musical in almost twenty years. It was more fun than should have been legal, and although I never consciously thought I missed performing because speaking fills that need for me, I realized I had left way too much of that part of me behind.

The ah-ha then was that I needed to include this in my plans moving forward. I did that by creating three new keynote speeches that included theatre within them instead of my normal, expert-based talks which always included humor but I did not ‘act’ in them.  Within days, I wrote a blog post based on one of them.  In less than 24 hours, I was asked to speak the following week on the topic and two more bookings of the other new keynotes followed.  In a month’s time, two former speaking clients came to me to book me for events, one of them choosing one of these new topics.  The speed and momentum at which this all occurred was monumental.

The doors flying open and the ‘yes’s’ that have ensued are too numerous to list here, but suffice it to say, it has been a welcome infusion of energy, satisfaction and money. Certainly, I also interpret it as a sign to keep moving forward with this new direction.

This is what I know to be true for many of our Now What? clients.  Reinvention today is not about pulling a new idea of the sky, but rather, about folding a forgotten piece into a new form that matches who you are today.  You must identify what that is and engage it now.  Let us know if we can help.

What Language Do You Speak?

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by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

Spanish? French? Arabic? German?  Those are not the languages I am looking for when I ask what language do you speak?  I am wondering if you up-language or down-language when you write or speak about yourself.  By that, I mean do you undersell, oversell or get it just right?

Whether you are marketing yourself as a business owner or a job candidate, the use of words is critical to your success.

I have had the recent pleasure of working with a director-level job candidate who exemplified the power of our choice of language.

Her resume read like a younger person with less experience than she really was.  The language was underselling her accomplishments and despite almost fifteen years in her industry, her resume read like that of a young hopeful.

She reworked the language to be more powerful and to better exemplify her solid experience.  Entries like  “Established a ____” became “Maintained full responsibility for ____”.  And  “Implemented _____” became “Pioneered the implementation of ____”.

It was no surprise that interview opportunities started to show up more readily once the changes were made.

Your word choices are colored by how you see yourself.  Are you afraid of bragging? Do you lack confidence in your accomplishments?  On the other extreme, do you embellish the truth too much?  Finding the right balance is key.  A strong self-image is important as long as you can wear ‘the suit’ you carry yourself in well.

Try this:  Have someone read your website, business brochure or resume out loud to you.  Then, answer these questions:

  • How did it feel to hear the language used in your materials?
  • If it was hard to listen to, why do you think that is?
  • Could the documents use some toning down or some ‘up-languaging’?

Before you change anything, have your buddy listen to you reading it.  Get their opinion of your answers to the above and make some changes accordingly.

If your language needs upgrading, be aware that you’ll need to practice saying those words in a mirror or mock interviews to get comfortable wearing them.  If you over embellished, practice being more truthful and know you are enough as you are.  Finally, become very conscious of what you say and please, choose to speak the language of success.

What “I Don’t Know” Really Means

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by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

“But I don’t know what I want to do!”

“I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know!”

“If only I knew what ‘IT’ was that I was supposed to do!”

I’ve heard all of these statements and more from seminar participants and clients. That overwhelming, anxiety-producing, adrenaline rush bordering on despair, which only someone searching for their next steps can feel. It’s very real, but experience has shown me that it is also grossly misinterpreted.

Sure, sometimes there really is not even an inkling of clarity and that usually requires more down time and stillness to get a spark to come. But for most people, I find that “I don’t know” really means “ I am too afraid to admit it”. You see, somewhere deep inside and maybe secretly expressed, is a dream, a wish, an inkling of an idea that is just too scary to admit. If you do recognize that you have a germ of a direction that interests you, then you may have to take action on it. You may have to be held accountable. You may have to give up life as you know it (suffering and all) to have it. That is HUGELY scary.

I find that “I don’t know” is a knee-jerk reaction to avoid the pain of the truth. “I don’t know” is like a shot of whiskey that keeps you numb and causes procrastination to persist. It amuses your friends or wears them out, but it serves the purpose of avoiding change.

I remember a participant at my Kripalu seminar one year who amused the whole class with her giddy repetition of the ‘I don’t know’ mantra until I finally asked her to take a deep breath and stop laughing when she said she did not know. She sobered up and once out of her adrenaline high could not longer repeat the phrase. I asked her to seriously tell us what little bit of clarity she already had about her career direction. She tried to fly off into giddiness again but I did not let her. Out it came. She admitted that she wanted to start her own business. Her husband, who was sitting next to her, instantly piped in and said: “She’s known that for years but she always has an excuse as to why she can’t do it.”

Busted! She spent the rest of the retreat weekend coming up with a plan instead of playing her ‘less than’ role of a giddy, flaky woman who did not know what she wanted.

What about you? What truths are you covering up with “I don’t know’s”? Put pen to paper and write down the truths you may be too afraid to face.

If you need a kick in the pants to do it, contact one of our facilitators or join me for the Kripalu retreat on April 29th- May 1st.

I don’t believe you don’t know. I believe you are just too scared to admit it. Tell the truth and take action. The world needs what you are afraid of doing.

CUT OUT THE MIDDLE STEP

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by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

Four years ago, at a bookstore event, a woman asked a question about a career strategy she was hatching.  Her goal was to become a global director for the multinational company she worked for.  Her question was about her next move to attain an interim position that would get her to her goal.  Immediately, I realized she did not want that interim step but it was what she thought was necessary to get what she wanted. I recommended just going for what she really wanted instead.

I never heard from her again until a few weeks ago. She told me she had been holding that global director position since shortly after she asked that question.

Another woman had come to get some short-term coaching to confirm she had made the right career choice for herself. She was in a pharmacist’s training school.  Once we got to work it was clear that being a pharmacist was not what the woman wanted at all!  She chose that field because she felt it had job security and she could build a good financial future for herself. The truth was she was miserable and hated every minute of it.  She wanted a strong financial future, not a pharmacist’s life.

Both these women and countless others, male and female, mistakenly put a middle step between where they are and where they want to go.  Every path we take in life has its stepping stones.  No one is going to get a driver’s license and then fly an airplane.  You’d need flying lessons and getting the required hours before getting in the air.  However, there are other life steps or career steps that are not necessary but rather, mere creations of our own mistaken rules for accomplishment.

If you hear yourself thinking:  “ I need to do x to get y” think again.  Take out the ‘x’ and re-examine your strategy.  The truth is “I want Y”. The question is ‘how do I get that?’.  That is what should form your strategy.

Life will tell you if there is indeed an interim step you need, you don’t need to make more work for yourself. Take out the middle step and see how you springboard into opportunity.

REINVENTION: LESS ABOUT ADDITION AND MORE ABOUT SUBTRACTION

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by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

We are clearly in the Age of Reinvention. So many industries are doing complete makeovers of themselves and some are even disappearing.  The result: Those wanting to stay or become employed have to reinvent right alongside this trend or be closed out or left behind.

Publishing, automotive, retail, advertising, manufacturing.  These are just a few of the sectors that are being rethought completely. So, whether you are an executive or a line worker, things are changing and so must you.

The tendency is to think you must be more or do more or add a missing skill or edge to keep yourself in the running in this job market.  In some cases, that is true. Maybe there is a degree or a certification that has to happen, but the truth is, the next step for most people who need to reinvent is to subtract something from their approach.  It’s not about adding. It’s about subtracting!  Subtracting what’s in the way of what really lights you up. Maybe it’s even more accurate to say, while you do your math, reinvention is about borrowing….from the past.

The reinvention formula seems to be, based on our collective research and experience at Now What?® Coaching, as follows:

The PRESENT-THE DEAD WEIGHT + SOME Marginalized Passion,talent or wish from the past= NEW MOMENTUM/ANSWER TO REINVENTION

Becoming a chef after years of ignoring that passion as an unhappy lawyer ,opening a chocolate shop after being laid off from a ‘secure’ government job  or performing in a musical after being away from it for 17 years to find that the next step is to bring more performance nuance to my speeches.  (YES, my own current reinvention)

These are all examples of listening to the stirrings inside you that have been set aside in the name of logic, conventional wisdom and security.  Those are what need to be subtracted to finally add opportunity, momentum, satisfaction and maybe even joy to your life.  And these will go far to create financial opportunities as well.

Make 2011 the year of your reinvention. Let us know how we can help.