Now What?® Coaching

from Laura Berman Fortgang

Inspiration to Follow Your Blueprint

Five Women, Five Wake-Up Calls, Five Dreams Pursued

By on

An attorney who tapped her childhood roots to incorporate more creativity.

A reporter who learned how to say “no thank you” and returned to school for a degree in social work.

A publicist who decided it was time to start taking risks in her life.

A food editor who was drawn to the field of acupuncture.

A Wall Street sales trader who realized she “needed” to be a yoga instructor.

While each is unique, these five stories contain the common thread of listening to what’s calling you and taking a risk to do something different.  It’s interesting, too, that the work involved with making these changes –going back to school or figuring out how to make the numbers work– didn’t dissuade them from taking action.  That’s what happens when the passion is strong enough and the work is meaningful.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

“Career Transformations: How 5 Women Found Their Dream Jobs.”

How Good Are You At Asking For Help?

By on

By Ginny Kravitz, Deputy Editor

72 Thank-You Notes

After months of networking and doing all the right things that a professional does when laid off from a 30-year career, Genevieve hit a low point. During two painfully quiet weeks waiting for the phone to ring, all she felt was discouraged. Then it happened. In a matter of a few days, six invitations for interviews streamed in along with a solid job offer. Marveling at how things could change so quickly, Genevieve was grateful to see the seeds she had planted finally sprouting.

The very first thing she did after accepting an offer was make a list of people to thank. That list had 72 names on it — that’s 72 people who helped her in some way during her job search. As she set to work writing thank-you notes, Genevieve told me she had “writer’s cramp for a great reason”.

Picturing Genevieve writing all those notes got me thinking about my own list of 11 people who —just within these past two weeks— have helped me in some way with a current project I’m working on.  Considering that this list would be longer if the snapshot was of a month vs. two weeks, I’d say I’m not shy about asking for help!

Opening Up To Accepting Help

Rebecca, who completed the Now What?® program earlier this year, recently called to tell me how happy she is with the direction she is pursuing and that after going through a period of uncertainty, she has recently made great progress. I asked her what had made the difference in creating this new momentum and without hesitation she answered: “Opening up to accepting help. Accepting that we can’t do it all. You work it out by letting go. Piece by piece, you learn to let go of many things. Opportunities show up. Things fall into place once you start moving.”

My niece Mary Grace, now a sophomore at Villanova University, wrote about this issue in one of her college application essays. Acknowledging that she previously viewed needing help to be an admission of inferiority, Mary Grace states, “Now I consider the art of asking for help not as a sign of weakness, but of self-assurance, maturity, and courage. So at the risk of appearing imperfect, I ask for help anyway.”

Who Can Help You With That?

Rebecca cites opening up to accepting help as the breakthrough from uncertainty to momentum. Mary Grace now considers asking for help an “art”. How good are you at asking for help? If your answer is “not so good,” make it a point to get better.

This Week’s Call to Action:

Within the last 30 days, who has given you some kind of help? Whether it was in large or small ways, appreciate the value of what was offered and apply it well.

Name three people who can help you with a current problem or endeavor. Reach out to them now.

“…I eventually realized that learning comes at least as much
through exposure to and interaction with others’ gifts and knowledge
as it does through individual effort.”
— Mary Grace Mangano

Have You Found The Entry Point?

By on

by Ginny Kravitz, Deputy Editor

Clarity Takes You There

“If this isn’t it, I trust it will lead there.” I smile when I hear someone I’m coaching say those words. Brenda is at the point of trusting the clarity she has received enough to move forward. This is especially significant as she’s been at the same crossroads six times before over the course of her life. Each time Brenda chose what felt like the more predictable path instead of what captured her interest the most. This time she is choosing differently.

At some point in your life and probably more than once — when you’re younger, older, or somewhere between — you’re bound to go through the process of trying to figure it out: the answer to what will make you happy and fulfilled in your work as well as take care of you financially. What typically follows soon after the discovery of what you would like to do is a stream of doubts and worries about how realistic it is and what the chances are of success. You’ll wonder: Is this really it?

Just how much of the trail must be in view in order for you to know it’s the right direction? What Brenda realizes is that all she needs to solve for right now is the entry point: the trailhead to take that will open up her future.

What’s Enough To Go On?

The reason it made me so happy to hear Brenda’s words is that learning to trust the entry point is a critical life skill that is more important than seeking any one right answer.

Trusting the entry point often involves a leap of some kind. This is different from making impulsive choices that lack staying power. There is a due diligence to perform, a process where you can align your decisions with:

  • What’s important to you (needs & values);
  • Your disposition and talents (personality, skills & experiences);
  • Who you are (interests, passion & purpose);
  • Other criteria (situational requirements & your preferences).

While not every idea is meant to be turned into a career or life path, if the idea passes through your due-diligence process and feels right to you, it may be time for you to recognize it as your entry point and step onto the path.

What’s next is what you need to know. What’s “next after next” you don’t need to nail down. The details will work themselves out. When you go for a mountain hike, you look at a map and there are various trailheads from which to choose. You pick the one that you think will give you the best hike. Once you’re out on the trail, you can alter the route if needed.

Trusting Your Entry Point                                                        

As you consider what’s next for you, ask yourself: Do I have clarity and have I found my entry point?  If not, seek input from others as you conduct your due-diligence process.  Am I acting on my clarity and moving forward? If not, identify people who will encourage you and support you to take that bold step.

Trusting the entry point is acting on the clarity you have right now and letting the rest unfold.

“We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal
and then leap in the dark to our success.”
— Henry David Thoreau

When “Success” is Not Enough

By on

by Kirsten Meneghello, Now What® Facilitator 

Laurie is a “successful” attorney according to most people. She has earned an advanced degree, prestige as a lawyer, a good salary and is recognized as an expert in her field. Her co-workers and colleagues look up to her as a respected leader. But Laurie doesn’t feel that way about herself. She feels like an imposter at work and lately has begun to dread going to the office. She doesn’t like her work environment because she feels it’s not collegial and team-oriented. She feels like everyone is out for themselves and their own interests.

When Laurie called me, she was really down and feeling isolated. She knew this was not her dream job. But how could she justify walking away from a career at which she was successful? Through the coaching process, we started to unpack the difference between what others expected of her and what she wanted for herself. I find that many people in mid-life are in this same place. There is a lot of societal pressure to stick with a job or career when you are successful on the outside, even if you are miserable on the inside. If you are in this position and tell a friend you are unhappy, they will probably think you are crazy to consider changing jobs or professions.

Success is often measured by fame, an impressive title, having a big salary and a fancy car. But all of those are fleeting and leave you feeling empty in the end (sooner or later!). How you truly find success is to identify your unique purpose and bring your purpose to your work. When you are able to apply your special talents and passions on the job every day, it results in deep personal fulfillment and the satisfaction of contributing to society in a meaningful way. At that point, you will truly be “successful.”

So how did Laurie do this? She discovered through our coaching sessions that her life purpose was to provide solutions. She does this naturally everywhere she goes.  For fun, she enjoys solving complex word puzzles and researching dense legal regulations. You might think to yourself, “What? That’s not fun.” It is to Laurie. She loves solving problems and helping others. She found that what made her current work environment so difficult was it did not allow her to provide solutions. In fact, finding solutions was actively discouraged. It was killing Laurie one day at a time.

Once Laurie got in touch with her gift to provide solutions, her perspective on her future career paths changed dramatically. She is currently defining what kind of job she is looking for next. It may or may not be in a legal field, but it will allow her to provide solutions every day and she is so excited. The best part is now Laurie does not define success by whether or not she wins a legal argument or how many hours she bills, but by how she is able to provide solutions every day. By identifying her unique purpose and finding a job at which she can apply her purpose, she knows that she will be successful no matter what she does.

Today’s article by Now What?® facilitator Kirsten Meneghello first appeared in Inspirational Woman Magazine and is posted on our blog with permission.

Which Job Should I Choose? A Common Career Conundrum Solved

By on

By Paula Gregorowicz, Now What?® Facilitator 

Imagine you have more than one career direction to choose from but you’re not sure which one to choose. Whether you’re 19 or 59 years old the circus in your mind might sound like:

  • Do I choose the one I love? Yeah, but it pays less. Yeah but it has a killer commute. Yeah but it means I’ll have to relocate to the middle of nowhere.
  • Should I choose the one that pays great? The pay and benefits are really great but it’s not very interesting work to me, it’s more of the same old, I can’t really get jazzed about this.
  • Everyone else thinks I should choose this job, and they probably know more than I do, so maybe I better make that choice…

And around and around and around you go…

(Cue scary sounding carousel music)

Have you ever done that?

How great did that feel? (NOT)

I know I have sure been there. It’s a form of self-torture that feels like there is all this chatter going on around you from people you respect or love (I think you should do this, or I think you should do that, or wouldn’t it be a better, safer, more responsible choice if you did this?) coupled with the madness in your own head trying to weigh all the options. It’s an absolutely horrible feeling. It feels like the weight of the world, your entire future existence rests on this one decision. You feel immense pressure to make the right decision.

I recently watched a family friend walk this path of self-torture regarding the choice around her first job out of college. I can remember those days and how overwhelming the decision seemed. For all intents and purposes you never really outgrow what feels like the enormity of a decision when it comes to career (whether you own your own business or work for someone else). However what I know for sure is that the way the cycle plays itself out by default is not the path to the best decision. How could you possibly make the best and wisest decision for yourself with all those voices clamoring at you (both inside your head and from those around you)? It’s too damn noisy and confusing!

I can remember the fall semester of my senior year of college. I interviewed for and received a lucrative job offer. Everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) told me how I had to take it. I’d be set and could enjoy my senior year! The salary was great! It was a reputable company! Great experience!

I felt so conflicted I could (and did) vomit on more than one occasion as I considered my decision at the ripe age of 20. So what did I decide? I chose to turn down the offer gracefully much to the chagrin of parents and advisors alike. It was not easy and frankly looking back was a bold move on my part for which I am eternally grateful. Why? Because I trusted my gut and the intuitive wisdom I was receiving. I knew deep in my heart I didn’t want a job that was 95% travel and I wasn’t about to put my life on hold for several years under the guise of “getting experience” for a career field I already knew was a dicey fit at best.

What I know for sure, from all my own experiences plus that of my clients is that there is no such thing as the “right” decision. There is only the wise and best decision for you at this moment in time. No decision is final or forever.

The secret to making a wise decision that you can feel confident about is quieting all the noise. You actually don’t need to think harder or analyze more. This only results in analysis paralysis as you listen and try to sort through the myriad of internal and external voices telling you what you “should” do. Paradoxically you actually need to think less and feel more. You do this by welcoming silence into your mind and heart and truly reflecting on the choice at hand. You use powerful and specially designed questions to help guide you so you can separate the noise from the wisdom. For example, ask yourself: How do I most want to FEEL as I navigate through this decision and once I’ve moved ahead with my choice? Hear the difference between your intuition and story-filled mental tapes. 

When you choose from this state of being, this deeper knowing rather than the “oh my god I am stuck in a blender on high in a state of conflict and need to come up with an answer (as you hear the clock tick down to zero as if on a nightmarish episode of Jeopardy)” approach, you know you can always count on yourself. You experience certitude in your choices. You ultimately create the experience and the future you most desire rather than expending all your energy hedging your bets trying to avoid having your worst fears come true.

 

What Makes A Job Satisfying?

By on

Here’s a list of 10 factors that psychologists correlate with job satisfaction.  Which ones stand out as important to you?  How does your current job or previous jobs you’ve held measure up when these factors are considered?   Are there others you would add?   Some that come to our mind are: Values (how your values line up with those of your employer), Passion (degree of interest in the work), Creative Expression (getting to put your own stamp on things), Purpose (whether the work is meaningful to you).  While some of these may overlap with the list provided, it’s an interesting exercise to come up with your own unique job satisfaction barometer.  What would yours look like?

“10 Psychological Keys to Job Satisfaction.”