Inspirational Quotes

The BEST Holiday Gift You Can Give

By Laura Berman Fortgang on December 24, 2023

If you’re scrambling for last-minute holiday gifts or second-guessing the gifts you’ve already given, then let me throw you a lifeline. After all, no matter how often you’ve heard “the best gifts in life are free,” it’s important not to toss it aside as a mere cliché. While the material stuff is nice, it’s never the best we can give.

So, what do people really want, more than anything?

They want to be seen, heard, understood, accepted, and validated.

In fact, the people who are special to you deserve more than just a token of appreciation. This is your opportunity to give them deep acknowledgment.

Now, you might be wondering how.

Well, this is one of those things that I categorize as simple, but not necessarily easy. It requires tapping into a spirit of generosity.

Therefore, you need to be fully present; that’s the gift. (pun intended)

You must be willing to give your time and attention — undistracted and wholehearted.

First, put away your phone.
Next, make eye contact.
And then, be curious.

Ultimately, make them feel like there is nobody else in the room.

As you gather with colleagues, friends, and family over the holidays, remember that this is what people really want. YOU are the gift. You have the gift. So, give generously and enjoy!

What is “Enough” for You?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on December 10, 2023

A recurring theme has been showing up in my conversations with clients and people in my community over the past couple of weeks — a spirit of discontent.

More than usual, people seem to be disappointed and miffed that they’ve missed some arbitrary mark.

I have to admit — if I were new to coaching, I might be feeling a little distressed myself. But I’ve been at this for decades now, and I know exactly what’s going on here. It’s the end of the year…

Folks have launched businesses, filled programs, and met revenue goals. They’ve been featured in magazines, interviewed on popular podcasts, and appeared on TV. They published books, got promoted, or quit their corporate job. Impressive stuff!

But it wasn’t enough. And for some, it’s never enough.

Especially around this time of year, as people pause to reflect, I’ve come to expect it. So I thought you could use a heads-up . . .

No matter how much you’ve accomplished in 2023, there’s a good chance you might find yourself feeling it too: you didn’t do enough, your results weren’t enough, and you are not enough.

However, I want you to know this —

Suffering happens when you don’t meet your own expectations. The tricky part is that your expectations can become a moving target as your hopes, dreams, and aspirations evolve, grow, and become influenced by what you see around you.

How can you reduce this suffering?

Remember that ambition — Your passionate and dedicated drive to want more is good! BUT discontent — the feeling that you’ve let yourself down — doesn’t do you any good.

How do you strike the sweet spot? I have to thank my good friend, best-selling author and writing coach Jennifer Louden, for this one. She suggests coming up with your very own “conditions of enoughness.”

Look inward, give it some deep thought, and determine…

What is enough money?
What are enough sales?
What is enough time?
What is enough fame?
How will I know when I have enough?
How will I know when my desires are met?

You control the relationship you have with your desires. How’s that going for you?

When you’re not happy because you’ve let yourself down, you’re causing your own suffering. It’s often what causes that paralysis — when you want something better but can’t bring yourself to take action. The tension forms a chasm that’s difficult to close.

Creating from a wounded place means creating more suffering. Everything becomes more difficult.

If you want to experience success, fulfillment, peace, and happiness, you must find your “conditions of enoughness.” From there, striving for more is easy; it can come and go, and you’re still okay.

Creating from a place of contentment not only feels better, but it’s your ticket to experiencing the success you desire.

How (and Why) to Forgive in Time for the Holidays

By Laura Berman Fortgang on November 26, 2023

The holiday season is upon us, which brings with it a mixed bag of feelings for many folks.

There’s a lot of talk about gratitude this week, which is important, of course…

But let’s face it, sometimes we’re not exactly in a grateful mood — especially when gathered around the table with people who push our buttons, or when avoiding gatherings with people who’ve hurt us, or when being haunted by feelings of abandonment by those missing from the table.

This time of year kicks up a lot of emotion; it can be rough.

However, I’ve found one of the best ways to brighten a dampened holiday spirit is to practice forgiveness.

Hold on – bear with me here. I’m not asking you to accept unacceptable behavior.

What I am encouraging you to do is detox your system from the poisonous effects of holding onto pain from the past, whether it’s a slight grudge or a deep wound.

Forgiveness is for you, not the person who hurt you.

People come from the limit of their own growth and experience.

If someone has transgressed, trespassed, or done something bad, understand this: they’re doing the best with what they have.

It doesn’t mean they’re right; they could be dead wrong. It simply means that, for whatever reason, that person is (or was) limited by their own growth and experience. Something went wrong somewhere, somehow.

Forgiving isn’t excusing. It’s about gaining freedom from the thing that’s weighing on you.

Here’s how to do it —

Step One: Accept that the person is/was limited. No matter how lacking or wrong their actions.

Step Two: Imagine the future YOU want for yourself. Do you want to get along with this person? Do you want to go “no contact” with this person? Decide what outcome you desire.

Step Three: Detach yourself from the situation and the outcome. Stop giving it energy. Don’t add fuel to the fire. No more talking about it, venting about it, or thinking about it. Focus on moving on.

Remember — whether you choose to keep this person in your life or remove them from your life completely — forgiving does not mean you are making what they did (or continue to do) okay.

This is not giving this person your blessing.

You’re not agreeing with behavior that goes against your value system.

Simply practice forgiveness for your own good.

May you forgive and may you be forgiven.

For those who celebrated, I hope the Thanksgiving holiday was a bright moment!

How to Create Your Own Luck

By Laura Berman Fortgang on November 19, 2023

Do you ever find yourself thinking, “she’s so lucky”?

Maybe you’re scrolling through your socials and see the woman who has it all — a successful career, a beautiful home, a seemingly perfect family, and a timeline full of vacation photos.

Or maybe you find yourself scoffing, “she’s just lucky.’

You stumbled across your competition quoted in the New York Times, learned your coworker got a big promotion, or heard that a coach who started her business after you landed a major book deal and hit multiple six figures this year.

We all do it sometimes.

But are they really luckier than you?

Maybe…

But did they also play a part in creating their own luck?

Without a doubt!

Sure, some people are born on third base, but there are no guarantees. No matter where you’re starting or what your circumstances are, your best bet to strike it lucky is to go out there and create the circumstances by which luck can find you.

I always say, one of the biggest benefits of coaching is that it helps you learn how to create your own luck.

If you want to become a luckier person, here’s what to do —

Clear the slate.
Get rid of the things that aren’t serving you — unfinished business, belongings you don’t need, baggage from the past, and toxic relationships. Think of your best life as a UFO, hovering and waiting for you to sweep the landing pad free of obstacles.
Set boundaries.
Protect your time. Protect yourself from people who don’t respect you. Create clear guidelines on how you want to be treated and let them be known.
Get specific.
Be explicit about exactly what you want. Hone in on your defined goals. Stay focused on precisely what you’re looking to accomplish. Leave no room for misunderstanding.
Take action.
Take twice as much action as you think you need. Don’t leave anything to mere circumstance; do what needs to get done.
Practice detachment (this is the toughest part!)
Avoid getting too caught up in the outcome. Don’t allow yourself to be crushed if what you want doesn’t work out. Be light about it. Know that you’ve done your best and you’ll be okay either way.

Just as you enjoy a beautiful bouquet of flowers, but have to let it go after about a week, don’t make your goals so precious that you’re hurt by the need to adjust or abandon them.

I wish you great luck as you head into the holidays and begin closing out this year and planning for next.

Are You Prepped for Year-End?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on November 12, 2023

We’re heading into the end of the year. How are you feeling about it?

I don’t know about you, but things tend to get edgy around here.

People start to become anxious about hitting their goals and preparing for the year ahead — all while caught in the whirlwind of holiday shopping, navigating festivities, and hunkering down for the winter.

It’s a lot. If you allow it, the anticipation of everything that has to get done can get the best of you.

I always know it’s coming, so I like to get ahead of things and help my clients get prepped for the coming season. With a little readying, it’s possible to avoid the chaos and overwhelm as you wrap up this year and head into the next.

Here’s how —

1. Purge.
Get rid of anything that’s no longer serving you. Whether it’s physical or mental clutter, it’s time to let it go. From old holiday decorations you’ve been meaning to toss to old business offers you’ve held onto for too long—into the 2023 trash bin it goes! Keeping things neat, clean, tidy, and clear of baggage lightens your load and helps you feel in control.

2. Reduce what you tolerate.
Make a list of the things you’ve been putting up with and start crossing off the worst of it. If you’ve been letting people ignore boundaries, it’s time to reestablish them. If you’ve been putting up with clunky systems in your business that waste your time, it’s time to address that. Don’t walk into 2024 permitting the same old agitations to keep irking you.

3. Stock up.
Make sure you have the things you need to endure. You may not need to store food and stack firewood to make it through the winter, but your body is gearing down for a slower, hibernating pace despite your mounting to-do list. What can you have on hand to make the coming months easier?

If you take the time to prep for year-end now, you’ll see that the most important things will begin to emerge for you. You’ll create the space and ease to focus on finishing up what matters.

Business Lessons My Latest Hobby Taught Me

By Laura Berman Fortgang on October 15, 2023

Earlier this year, I discovered a new hobby: Furniture Flipping.

In case you’ve missed this trend all over social media, it’s when people take tired old vintage, antique, or boring mass-produced furniture and freshen it up with paint, refinishing, and other creative ways to give it some oomph.

When I was clearing out some of my mom’s things, I found that people weren’t interested in buying outdated pieces — no matter the quality. The reality is, without some sprucing up, too many unloved items end up in the dump.

Once I started noticing what was hot on the market, I began looking around at my own things with a new perspective. Let’s just say there was room for improvement. I got to work on an antique dresser and fell in love with the results … and the process.

It turns out, furniture flipping is relaxing, fun, and fulfilling!

Before I knew it, I’d restored, upcycled, or modernized — and sold! — nine pieces.

Don’t worry, I’m not shutting down my coaching practice to flip furniture full-time, but I’m having a ton of fun and learning a lot along the way.

Here are the lessons I’ve picked up so far from this new hobby.

Everything takes longer than you think it will. 
Whether it’s stripping furniture stains or building a new website for your business, you have to be willing to stick it out and see it through to the end to get the results you want.

2. Mistakes are a skill builder. 
You could be aiming to deliver a perfectly smooth finish on a furniture piece or to deliver a perfectly polished conference talk. In either case, there’s probably room for improvement. Learn from where you went wrong and do better next time. Start reframing mistakes as skill builders, and you’ll benefit from every brush stroke.

3. Being flexible is a must. 
Things don’t always go as planned. When an antique piece you’d hoped to restore turns out to be too damaged to salvage, you may have to pivot, paint it instead, and give it a new life. The same goes for your business. That course you wanted to launch could be more profitable as a one-on-one offer. Being too precious about the original plan could end up costing you.

4. Find the joy.
Sometimes, even with the best intentions, you get in over your head. Maybe you took on a whole bedroom set before noticing the intricate carving and details, or maybe you took on a massive project with unexpected obstacles. You want the outcome, but the work is dragging you down. Stop, take a deep breath, look around, and find the joy again — the peace, fun, satisfaction, or fulfillment. What is it that brought you to this moment and how can you savor it?

I’m passionate about this hobby and plan to keep it going. As always, I’m growing, evolving, and finding lessons to share with you in everything I do.