Laura Berman Fortgang

How To NOT Quit on Yourself

By Laura Berman Fortgang on August 6, 2023

When you’re working towards a goal, quitting often seems like the easy way out.

Everyone wants to throw in the towel sometimes — when the going gets tough, when you hit a hiccup, or when you’re just not feeling up to it.

Getting up every day, chugging along, and doing what it takes — no matter what — isn’t always easy.

And sometimes quitting just makes good sense.

But if you really want something, quitting — on your career, your business, or yourself — isn’t the way to go.

If you give up now, chances are you’ll kick yourself later. I’ve seen it lead to a lot of regret.

I’ve even seen quitting become a habit. People do it again and again and never get to where they want to go.

Far too many disappointments and broken dreams could’ve been avoided, if only they’d learned how to NOT quit, which may sound easier said than done, but it’s actually quite simple.

There’s only ONE way.

THE key to getting through tough times is to focus on the bigger picture.

Laser in on something bigger than you.
What’s the goal?, your mission? and the greater cause behind what you want?

Here’s what I mean —

I’m working with a team right now that’s under a lot of pressure. Their industry is taking a hit, they’ve been through rounds of layoffs, and morale is at an all-time low. But this team is playing a crucial role in the organization, so they need to stay on their game and focused on the mission, which is producing work for an important cause. It’s their collective passion for that cause that’s keeping them going while the going is tough.

So, what’s your personal cause? It may be something different in every scenario.

If you feel like quitting, look for something bigger.

Think about it. One of the best ways to get yourself out of a funk is to do something for somebody else.

If you’ve been around for a while, you may know that I went through a period of severe depression in my 20s. The best thing I did for myself was to begin helping people who were less fortunate, delivering food to individuals who were shut in with illness or old age. It changed the trajectory of my life!

It’s not all about keeping your nose to the grindstone. Look for the greater meaning in the work itself. If you don’t find it there, seek meaning all around you.

Hitting your business goals may allow you to give more financially to causes that matter. Changing careers may allow more flexibility in your schedule to volunteer at your kids’ school.

It doesn’t have to be altruistic. Making that next sale or bonus could fund a girl’s trip to Napa Valley you’ve been craving, or a dreamy backyard makeover, or bump up retirement by a year.

THE key to getting through tough times is to focus on the bigger game.

4 Ways to Strengthen Your Personal Foundation

By Laura Berman Fortgang on July 30, 2023

After last week’s post, my inbox was flooded with questions. Which is always a nice surprise, honestly. It seems I struck a chord.

Many of you wanted to know more about what it takes to stand strong when something comes along and tries to knock you off your game.

I’m glad you’re curious!

All too often, smart, capable, driven people are letting disappointments and setbacks muck up their day, throw them for a loop, and ruin their plans.

If this is you, I know you’re sick of the disruption.

The client you hoped to land ghosts you.
The recruiter for that dream job sends a rejection letter.
The folks who bought your coaching program’s credit cards are declining.
Your new VP left you off a “big deal” meeting invite.

And you’re SO sick of letting it all shake you up. But you don’t know what to do about it.

You know your personal foundation needs some work, but you don’t know how to go about building a solid one.

I get it; you either have it or you don’t. The good news is, once it’s built, it will stand the test of time. Even when it crumbles a little, you’ll know how to piece it back together and pack it down tight.

Here’s what it’ll take.

1. Stop taking things personally. That might sound easier said than done, but it can be done. Because — A.) Whatever it is, it’s not about you. And B.) You’re not damaged or broken. You’re learning.
2. Spend time with yourself. Ideally, learn how to meditate. At the very least, take three to five minutes every day to clear your mind, pause the ruminating, and think about nothing. Don’t make it hard. Start with searching for a guided meditation on YouTube. Tuning into yourself is a great reminder that your foundation is stronger than you might think; you’ve already overcome so much.
3. Know your triggers. We all have them! We’ve had childhood trauma or negative experiences as an adult, and reminders can pull us into an emotional loop. By identifying those triggers, possibly by working with a therapist, you’ll be able to catch them sooner and avoid the spiral.
4. Become friends with fear. Why? Because it’s never going away, so you may as well embrace it. You can let it take you over like The Blob in the 1950s horror film or brush it aside like a mosquito bite. Fear is simply trying to protect you from something; learn to listen to its underlying message and use it for good.

There you have it. Incorporate these four tips into your life and your personal foundation will be stronger than ever. It’ll take work, but it’s so worth it!

Is Your FOUNDATION Concrete or Sand?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on July 23, 2023

In my work, I talk to people every day with big goals, a wealth of knowledge, and exciting ideas about what to do next in their life, business, or career.

But accompanying their eagerness, I often detect at least a hint of apprehension —
“Will this next phase go as well as I hope?”
“Am I up for the challenge?”
“What if something goes wrong?”

As they make progress along the road to change, this uneasiness often grows. They’re trying to build something different and better, but it’s not going as planned.

While it’s true that things never quite go as planned, some folks really seem to falter easily.

As soon as the wind blows in the wrong direction, everything starts to fall apart.

“I didn’t get the job! I knew I wasn’t director material.”
*applies for a lower-level role making $30k less*

“My boss ignored my idea. Guess it wasn’t so great after all.”
*keeps even better idea to self*

“That sales call was a disaster! I’m going to end up on the streets.”
*spends afternoon in bed reading about scammy promises of passive income*

“I worked so hard on my email newsletter; hardly anyone read it. What a waste of time!”
*waits six months to send another email, this time asking people to buy something*

One moment they’re a go-getter, full of hope and fired up about possibilities. The next, they’re ready to give up or whining about how nothing ever works out for them.

Their mental well-being and outlook on life are completely circumstantial.

Why? Because they don’t have a strong personal foundation.

They’re trying to build on shaky ground. No wonder they’re liable to topple over at any moment!

So here’s the thing —

Pushing ahead with building plans, desperately trying to stack the pieces of your dreams — isn’t going to work.

A solid personal foundation is the cornerstone of success.

When you have a solid foundation in place, you’re less shaken by the bad things that happen. You may have a setback or a rough day, and you may trip or stumble. But when you know your core foundation is concrete, you’re able to brush yourself off, get back up, and keep going.

No matter the endeavor, building your foundation is THE step that can’t be skipped.

But when you strike out on your own in the pursuit of building a business, I’ve found that it’s even more critical.

You need a strong personal foundation AND a strong business foundation. Otherwise, the precariousness of the structure or situation can do you in.

One sales call went awry?
You need the fortitude to make another and another.

Nobody read your email newsletter?
Figure out what they want to read and send another and another.

Your cat threw up on your desk right before your client call?
Wipe it up and keep it moving.

Found out you need surgery while planning a launch?
Adjust the plan to prioritize your health while keeping your business alive and well.

When I’m working with my business owner clients, I always look for evidence that they are building their business on shaky ground — and warn them! Because the fallout comes with nasty consequences.

It typically looks something like this:
1. Your income is sporadic; you never know what you’re going to make from month to month.
2. New leads are sparse, so you have no idea where your next client is coming from.
3. Your mood determines your business-building activities.
4. Your clients don’t refer to you. They like you ok, but they’re not sending new business your way.
5. You’re hiding, avoiding business conversations and networking opportunities.

And it’s all because they don’t have a blueprint for putting the proper infrastructure in place. The foundation is shaky.

They’re missing stuff like…
Having systems, repeatable processes, and automation in place.
Packages and programs with compelling offers and clear pricing.
Plans and scripts for overcoming client objections.

In other words, they’re flying by the seat of their pants, operating on a whim — stacking assorted building blocks on nothing but sand.

You simply can’t build a sustainable career or business without a solid foundation.

The Neuroscience of Selling

By Laura Berman Fortgang on July 16, 2023

I often hear people say they hate selling. It usually sounds something like this —

“I’d start my own business, but I hate sales. I’m not any good at it…”
“I’m great at what I do, but I’m bad at selling it. I wish I didn’t have to sell; I hate it!”
“I hate being sold to, so I hate selling. Nobody likes salespeople; I want people to like me.”

It always makes me cringe a little bit because — I hate to break it to ya — there’s no way around selling. You can’t avoid it. We’re all selling, all the time.

Whether you’re selling your services…
You’re a parent selling your kid on going to bed…, negotiating a raise at work…,
and trying to get your friends to try a new restaurant…

You’re selling your ideas, and your point of view.

But the idea of selling is such a charged thing for people to grapple with. And it all comes down to neuroscience.

When you’re the one being sold to, your brain goes into fight or flight mode.

When you’re the one doing the selling, your brain’s fear of rejection shoots adrenaline into overdrive.

Our reptilian brain is scrambling for safety, and sales can feel like a threat.

Personally, when I’m in a situation where someone is trying to sell me something, I want to be in control. It’s my way or the highway. If I want to think about it, my guard is automatically up.

How do you handle the people you want to sell to?

The first order of business is to calm your nervous system. Then, think about how you can help the other person get out of fight or flight.

Think about common objections:
“I don’t have the time…”,” don’t have the money…”,and need to go ask my spouse…”

Don’t go on the offensive and try to convince them to ignore their own defenses. Instead, try this —

Thank them for sharing their concern with you.

This will immediately help them feel relieved that they don’t have to fight back.

Next, use what Dr. David Hawkins calls “green words” (as opposed to the “red words” you want to avoid in a selling scenario). These are the words that invite them to keep talking and keep the lines of communication open.

The idea is to use the neuroscience of selling to ensure everyone gets their needs met.

What does freedom mean to you?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on July 9, 2023

I’m not sure where you are in the world, but here in the US, we’re in a season of celebrating freedom. We just marked our nation’s independence on the 4th of July and commemorated the emancipation of enslaved people in the US on Juneteenth.

So “freedom” is in the air…

But the true meaning of freedom goes far beyond historical triumph and jubilee. We each have a personal definition of what feels free.

We all strive for the freedom to do, to be, and to have whatever we want.

As long as you’re not hurting anyone else, operating in life as you see fit is the ideal measure of freedom.

Freedom to love and form the relationships you want,
Create the lifestyle that you want for yourself and your family.
Freedom to have meaningful work and make the kind of money you want.
Etc, etc, etc.

Again, what does freedom mean to you?

Here’s what it means to me:

1. Emotional Freedom — not being controlled by my emotions or mood and having the ability to handle things easily, with low stress. Freedom to simply be and do.

2. Freedom of Time — having control over my schedule and, most importantly, the ability to work less and make more money.

I value spending time with family, doing fun things, and focusing on my hobbies and creative pursuits. I can’t do any of that if I’m a servant to my emotions or constricted by time-wasting obligations.

I love looking at my schedule every day and seeing plenty of room in it while continuing to make the money I want to make. THAT is FREEDOM to me.

What’s your story?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on July 2, 2023

In case you haven’t noticed, we’re living in an increasingly disconnected age.

For all the good technology does in bringing us together, it also adds distance and puts up walls.

We’re bombarded with information.
Overloaded with messaging.
Everyone is vying for our attention.

As a result, everything sort of gets jumbled together. Sometimes we can’t remember where we heard something or who said what.

All too often, rather than standing out, we blend into the scenery and become easily forgotten.

Unless….

We have a good story, and we all do.

Our STORY is what sets us apart from the next person. People remember stories.

If you haven’t seen my TEDx Talk yet about my client, I recommend you go watch it.

Because I’ll tell you my phone continues to ring because of that story.

When I get on a call with a potential client, they’re always mentioning “that story you told,” and it lets me know that it really resonated with them.

They related to it and were able to see that I could potentially help them in the way I helped my client.

That story has done more for my business in the last five years than anything else I’ve ever done.

It really drives home a point: in the world we live in, people are craving transparency, authenticity, and truth.

Whether you’re giving a TEDx Talk, writing for your website, posting on LinkedIn, or engaging in a sales conversation … your story matters.

Consider this —

Your audience is constantly asking, why, why, why?

Why you? now?, this program?, this topic?, and this price?

There’s a meaningful and genuine answer to every one of those questions, and it can best be conveyed in a story.

If you’re a business owner, that starts with your BRAND story.

If you’re not yet sure what that story is or how to tell it, I suggest starting by asking yourself these three questions:

Q1: What results do I create?
Q2: What moves me to do what I do?
Q3: What do I do that no one else does? What’s my way?

Here’s a quick peek into my story:

Q1: I help people create a career that they love, and I help people start their own businesses.

Q2: I don’t think anyone should suffer to make a living. Because I grew up with a father who HATED what he did, and he made us all miserable because of it.

I felt guilty for every dime he spent on me, for going to college, for making him beholden to that job that sucked. I had to overcome that feeling and avoid repeating his mistakes by doing my own thing.

Q3: I’ve untangled the quandary about what to do with your life and where to find answers.

Now it’s your turn. Take out a sheet of paper or pull up a blank screen, and jot down what first comes to mind. It doesn’t have to be perfect or polished. Just begin thinking about your story and work on it from there.