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Why Joy Matters to Your Success (and How to Enjoy More)

By Laura Berman Fortgang on September 1, 2024

If you’ve been paying attention, there’s been a lot of buzz around the word “joy” over the past couple of weeks. It has even come up in my work with clients.

Why is this, and what does it even mean?

Let’s face it – many people feel devoid of joy these days, like we’ve been robbed of something.

Joy is missing. We sense it, even if we can’t quite point to exactly why.

There’s a difference between what we think of as happiness, and what we view as joy. It’s all along the same spectrum, but one clearly outshines the other.

When you’re happy, you’re content. All things considered – life is good. You’re feeling pretty positive about what’s going on in your world.

Joy, on the other hand, is exuberant. A delight! You’re so full of pleasure in that moment that it’s overflowing.

Think about how you enJOY an experience or enJOY a meal. It’s a real treat! In fact you’re “IN” joy in that moment.

However, many of us find joyful moments hard to come by lately.

We can point to a laundry list of reasons and scapegoats: the uncertainty, the economy, the lack of unity, the politics, the loneliness, the comparison (the thief of joy) . . .

The reality is that joy is an inside job. Certain conditions make enjoyment easier, of course — not denying that! But don’t forget that some people, even in the most miserable of conditions, exude joy.

I challenge you to consider the following:

You are very likely robbing yourself of joy.
You may worry about things you can’t ultimately control.
You may be allowing someone else to overlook you or put you down.
You may let yourself get roped into drama that’s little more than a distraction.
You may be so intent on creating joy for others that you neglect your own needs.

I want to remind you that you have the power and resources to bring joy back into your life.

Maybe you don’t like your job. You can find moments of joy in what you do — by looking around, shifting your perspective, practicing gratitude, or focusing on a bigger why.

Perhaps things are tough in your business right now. You can experience moments of joy — no matter how fleeting – in creation, through connection, and deciding your next steps.

You can enjoy the moment. You can be IN joy.

How to Get Over Yourself

By Laura Berman Fortgang on August 25, 2024

Like it or not, we’re all in the game of sales.

If you want to be successful at anything at all, you have to be able to make the sale.

Looking to land your dream job?
You’ll need to sell yourself as the right person for the role.

Eager to sign your next ideal client?
You’ll have to sell yourself and your service as a solution.

Want people on board with your big idea?
It’s up to you to sell it as something worth buying into.

However, one of the biggest challenges that I see clients struggle with is that they avoid (and dread!) the difficult task of making that phone call or presentation that will begin the process of making a sale.

If you can’t motivate yourself to take the necessary action, let’s fix it.

Hmm…🤔

OK, let me save you some time: You’ve got to get over yourself!

I’ve heard it all, excuse after excuse — you’re shy, nervous, unsure, fear rejection, have imposter syndrome, worry you might fail.

You have to get over yourself!

Easier said than done, but here’s how you do it.

Think of something bigger than you. Instead of focusing on yourself and what could go wrong, focus on what could go right.

Do you create stellar results for your clients?
Focus on the transformation.

Does the company you want to work for have an important mission?
Focus on the good.

Would your kids benefit from your big pay raise?
Focus on your family.

Have you always longed to support causes that matter to you?
Focus on raising those funds.

Winning isn’t about you.

This may sound counterintuitive, but the bigger your desire, the larger your apprehension – the less it should be about you.

Here’s what I mean.

Early in growing my coaching business, a whirlwind of opportunities came my way: radio, television, partnerships, and more.

Even Oprah called! It happened fast, it was intense, and I found myself standing in a spotlight far brighter than expected.

I almost got in my own way; I nearly started selling myself short.

There was only one thought that kept me going with grace: “This is bigger than me!”

Coaching was an emerging profession on the cusp of helping millions. I had an opportunity to represent it on a national stage, and I knew it could uplift my colleagues along with me.

Instead of letting doubt sabotage my contributions to our progress…

I focused on the good that could come from this work.
I got over myself.
I stepped out there to sell coaching as an effective tool for personal and professional growth.

Remember, when you need to get over yourself, you need to focus on something bigger than you.

Whenever you feel uncertainty start to creep in, cut it out and stop the nonsense. You can get it done.

Find the mission, identify a sense of purpose, and sell, sell, sell!

Are You Counting Yourself Out Before You Try?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on June 30, 2024

As a coach, I could talk all day about the many ways I’ve seen people hold themselves back, but today I’m diving into one of the most common.

I have to come right out and say it: Far too many of you are putting yourself through the wringer for no good reason!

You’re placing obstacles in your own way, adding steps that don’t need to be there, and slowing down your progress unnecessarily.

I’ve figured out one reason why.

If you’ve ever gone to college or pursued some sort of formal qualification (or you’re simply familiar with the process), you’ve heard the term prerequisites (or prereqs for short).

It refers to the classes you take or another requirement you need to meet before you’re eligible to enroll in a program or class to move on to the next level.

We’ve come to believe this is the way it must be — moving up step by-step-by-step. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Here’s what I mean:

I was working with a client who was gunning for an executive career. He’d proven himself an effective leader with a track record of results. But when his dream division VP role opened up, he almost counted himself out. At the time, he was a senior director and figured he needed to go after an assistant VP role first … still, the division leader opportunity was calling his name.

Instead, we developed a game plan, and I encouraged him to go for it. He landed the job! Skipping the make-believe interim step. Waiving his imaginary prereq.

The topic came up again this week. I had a client who wanted to coach corporate clients, but she didn’t have a corporate background, so she counted herself out.

How could she knock on the doors of these big corporations without the portfolio and qualifications to back up what she was selling? She assumed she’d never land a contract.

Instead, we developed a plan for her to skip the closed doors altogether and go straight for the people who work at these corporations. Corporate leaders are deciding to work with her, individually, some even using their professional development perks to get reimbursed.

She skipped the make-believe interim step. Waived her imaginary prereq.

Soon enough, she’ll be able to knock on enterprise doors pointing to the results she got for leaders at megacorps, and she’s building her corporate prospect network in the process.

Now it’s your turn.

Look at the roadblocks you put in the way, thinking you need X before you can achieve the Y you want.

What do YOU really want? Go for it now!

Have You Reached Your Expiration Date?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on May 5, 2024

My family often teases me because I tend to overlook expiration dates. I’m not going around guzzling sour milk, but I might add a dollop of sour cream to my potato before noticing it expired last month.

The other day, they made fun of me over a jar of olives I should’ve tossed weeks ago. What can I say? Time flies when you’re having fun. I could’ve sworn I just bought those olives!

But after a good laugh, I got to thinking. Isn’t it funny that almost everything has a shelf life?

What are you holding onto past its expiration date?

Maybe it’s a car that’s draining the bank with repair costs, a friendship that feels forced because you’ve grown apart, or a pair of running shoes that no longer put a bounce in your step.

Perhaps it’s your career or business that has hit an expiration date.

Don’t worry; I’m not saying it’s time to put yourself out to pasture, or quit on a whim to pursue a pipe dream. But I am saying there may be something about what you’re doing that has outlived its usefulness.

A vendor you’ve come to rely on could’ve let their service quality slip, making you look bad!
Have you been using the same apps or systems in your business for a decade, ignoring the new and improved competitors that could save you time and boost your profits?
Are you relying on an outdated social media or sales strategy that has lost the advantage it once gave you?
A client who’s been with you from the start could be dragging you down, paying lower rates, expecting you to be at their beck and call, and undervaluing your progress and growth.

It’s time to clean out the fridge! This time, don’t put the moldy strawberry jam back on the shelf after you’ve wiped it down.

In other words, I’m urging you to clear out the things in your career and business that have hit their expiration date. If it’s no longer serving you, get rid of it, and replace it with something fresher and more desirable.

What needs to go?

Clear out the old energy and bring in the new!

Every A-List Coach Has This Nailed

By Laura Berman Fortgang on April 28, 2024

I want to clear something up. This has to be said. Far too many people want to be successful coaches, but they don’t want to do what it takes to have a successful coaching business.

Don’t get me wrong. Being a good coach doesn’t necessarily mean you need to be good at business. You might be coaching in your job, coaching for a firm, or running a hobby coaching practice that doesn’t pay the bills.

But when you’re ready to become an A-list coach with a successful coaching business and the prosperity that comes along with it, it’s time to get serious about what it really takes.

In my experience, it all comes down to what I call The 4 M’s — Messaging, Methodology, Marketing, Management. (And you have to nail all four!)

1. Messaging
When you don’t have clear messaging, your audience has no idea what to do with you. If you’re confused, they’re confused. Your messaging needs to be straightforward and get right to the point.
For example, my message for my coach audience is simple: “I help coaches differentiate themselves in the marketplace and prosper.” What’s yours?

2. Methodology
Your potential clients should also know HOW you get the job done. What’s your approach for getting results? You need to have your own way of doing what you do that sets you apart from the next coach.

3. Marketing
You must get the word out so people know about your products and services. You don’t have to be a dancing polar bear on TikTok; you simply need to get your clear messaging and methodology out there in front of the right folks through speaking, teaching, writing, etc.
No need to stretch yourself thin or be inauthentic. Lean into your strengths.

4. Management
A successful coaching business requires effective management. You need to manage your business — operations, tools, support, and resources. And you need to manage yourself — handle your personal growth by taking on each “new level, new devil” challenge with grace and confidence.

If you’re trying to build a coaching business without nailing the 4 M’s, you’re making it a whole lot harder for yourself than necessary. I’m just going to say it: without the 4 M’s, you won’t make the A-list.

The Truth in Coaching

By Laura Berman Fortgang on February 4, 2024

When I started in the coaching industry 20+ years ago, most people were unfamiliar with the term “coaching” — outside of sports, of course. These days, I rarely meet someone who doesn’t know what coaching is — in the context of life, health, business, or careers.

We’ve come a long way! But when it comes to recognizing the difference between a skilled coach and someone who just slapped on a title? Not so much.

Coaching isn’t a regulated industry. You don’t need a license or specific training to call yourself a coach, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing; it allows for autonomy and creative freedom. However, when hiring a coach, you need to know what you’re getting into. And when you are a coach, you need to know what skills help your clients get results. What makes a coach good at their job?

You may have heard me say I’m a Master Certified Coach (MCC), the gold standard credential in coaching, issued by the International Coaching Federation. To earn this designation, I had to demonstrate evidence of advanced coaching skills and meet certain standards. It’s something I take seriously.

BUT the credential itself isn’t what makes me, or anyone else, a good coach. What makes someone a good coach is the skill of telling the truth.

Most people avoid the truth at worst or tell “polite” truths at best.

An effective coach will call you on your stuff and tell you the truth in a snap. We won’t let it slide.
Does this mean good coaches are all-knowing truth-tellers? Of course not.
It means we’re able to recognize incongruencies — when you say something that doesn’t match your actions, or when you act in a way that’s out of alignment with the groundwork and goals we’ve established.

For example —

You: My family is the most important thing to me.

Skilled coach: You mentioned that your family is important, but you also shared with me that you haven’t spent any time with your family this month. In what ways are you prioritizing your family? Where else are you directing your attention? What’s really getting your time?

It’s the coach’s job to pay close attention, notice when something is “off,” and question it. Inquiring into what you say, think, and do is what helps you see the truth — YOUR truth.

I know we’re getting somewhere when a client says, “Wow, that’s a really good question,” or — better yet, “I hate you for asking me that.” Bingo – we’re onto something!

It’s important to remember that when you enter into a coaching relationship, you’re agreeing to get called out on your stuff. You’re signing up for the truth … because living in our truth is where we all want to be.

This is how coaching changes lives and organizations. You have to answer some tough questions and confront big truths about yourself, your leadership (we are all leaders somewhere, even if it’s just with family) and your choices. Are you ready to face facts?

If you’re a coach, you need to learn how to work with the truth — to ruffle feathers (but in a productive way), and to uncover layers so you can get to the good stuff. It’s a skill set that requires training and practice.