Job Search

Could this syndrome be what’s holding you back?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on June 18, 2023

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been talking to a lot of folks lately who are finding themselves feeling overwhelmed, overworked, and underappreciated.

Something interesting I’ve noticed is that many of these people seem to share a lot in common.

As we’re talking, I’m hearing the same complaints again and again. There’s definitely a pattern of symptoms here.

I’m not a doctor (and I don’t play one on TV…) but I’ve been quietly diagnosing people with what I like to call Hero Syndrome.

If you’ve been feeling swamped with responsibility, yet undervalued for the work you do or overlooked despite your contributions, keep reading.

See if any of this sounds familiar —

Are you someone who…
…everyone depends on in a pinch?
…people only call when they have a problem?
…has a hard time receiving praise?
…always wants to feel wanted and needed?
…thinks being “indispensable” is job security?
…never seems to be recognized for your hard work?

It might be Hero Syndrome (which is kind of like the opposite of Imposter Syndrome).

Let me give you an example.

One of my clients was working in research and development for a quick service restaurant company — the department that came up with new and innovative products.

She felt like she was doing a great job, but she kept getting overlooked for promotions and had no idea why. So she hired me as her career coach.

It wasn’t long before I discovered her Hero Syndrome.

She volunteered for all the stuff at work that had nothing to do with her job — the company picnic, fire safety representative, you name it. She was pulled in a million different directions and totally hooked on being the go-to team player around the office.

By making sure people had to depend on her, it meant HER needs were being met, and it felt GOOD. But it wasn’t doing a thing for her actual career!

She told me she wanted to be known for coming up with creative and innovative ideas for the company. Instead, she was known for doing a little bit of everything.

So we put a plan in place to clear the deck, and after about six months, she got the promotion she was seeking.

If this sounds like you, the good news is you can turn things around too. Here’s how:
a. Start saying no. Remember NO. is a complete sentence.
b. Begin setting boundaries. Get clear on what you’ll accept and what you won’t, and make sure everyone else is aware of that too.
c. Unhook from the need that keeps getting met by saying yes to everything.

You have to clear the Hero Syndrome up! Only then will you have the time to focus on what you really want to do. This is how you’ll create the space to step into and become known for the thing you want to be known for.

Want to start a business? Ask yourself these questions first.

By Laura Berman Fortgang on May 21, 2023

Clients often come to me looking to make a career change — into a different job, different industry, or different level. Sometimes it’s a little shift, sometimes a big step up, and sometimes a major pivot.

And it’s never easy, but always worth it. Because if you’re feeling uncomfortable and that nagging feeling that you want something more isn’t going away — it’s time to get moving!

But fair warning: the biggest nag of all can get you into trouble if you let it.

I’m talking about the entrepreneurial bug — that pesky voice that’s telling you to go out on your own, hang your shingle, and do your own thing…there’s no shutting that bugger up…

So, if self-employment is calling you, you need to take it seriously. Don’t allow yourself to make the leap into business before giving it the attention it deserves.

Hear it out, push back, and get crystal clear on your plans for success. Skip this step, and you’ll kick yourself later. Trust me on this.

Start by asking yourself some key questions —

What are you selling?
What are your specific services?, and going to charge?
Will you become an LLC or incorporate?
What kind of seed money will you need?
Who are your ideal clients and where will you find them?
Who’s going to hold you accountable and keep you on track?

The reality is, it takes 1-3 years to build a sustainable service business. Most likely, you’ll be chief, cook, and bottle washer for a while. You may even have to do some work for free in the beginning. There’s a lot to take into consideration…

Are you willing to take the risks? Make the sacrifices? Do what it takes?

You can do it, but you’ll want to go into it with eyes wide open.

What are you scrappy and hungry for?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on May 14, 2023

I don’t know about you, but I am “scrappy and hungry, and I’m not throwin’ away my shot…”

If you’re one of the millions of people who enjoyed the hit sensation Hamilton, you may recognize this tune. Consider it our theme song for today.

I believe being scrappy and hungry is one of the under-appreciated keys to success. Sure, we say things like “hard work pays off,” but we tend to look at the people who’ve “made it” as capable, confident, and poised, forgetting they were once just getting started — scrappy, hungry, and willing to take a shot!

Their goals were worth it to them. Going after their dreams was worth the risk of being judged, getting it wrong, and putting in the work.

What about YOU? What are you scrappy and hungry for?

My clients often tell me they want to serve people, make an impact, grow a business, create change in the world, further a cause, make more money…the list goes on. They claim to really want it, but they’re not doing anything about it.

So my question for them and for YOU is this: If not now, WHEN?

Because I’ve asked it so many times, I have a pretty good idea what your answer is: “I don’t know.” And there’s a good chance you’ll follow that up with, “HOW do I know?”

I’ve noticed we humans have a hard time recognizing when we’re ready. There’s no clear-cut way to know for absolute certain, of course, but there are some telltale signs —

- You’re miserable.
- You have an “itch” that keeps nagging at you that something isn’t right.
- You’re daydreaming a lot, scrolling social media, envying folks who are doing what you want to do.

This is the universe, your internal guidance system, or whatever you believe whispering (or shouting!) at you that it’s time to TAKE YOUR SHOT.

But here’s the sign you most likely won’t get: an undeniable sense that you absolutely, without a doubt, feel ready. If you’re waiting for that, you’ll be waiting forever.

You’re going to have doubts. That’s normal. DO. IT. ANYWAY.

Get scrappy, listen to your hungry desire, and give it a real shot. Make your dream a priority.

Want to write a novel? Wake up every morning and write 1,000 words before getting out of bed.

Want to grow an audience on social media? Start posting valuable content every day; learn what they want from you.

Want to build a business? Focus on getting ONE customer or ONE client, and grow from there.

Career Change in the Land of Possibility

By Laura Berman Fortgang on October 30, 2022

I was working with a client recently who had 23 years of experience in the mortgage industry. She didn’t think she could do anything else because her resume said she was a professional lender. This client honestly couldn’t imagine any other possibilities.

I had my work cut out for me, but I knew my methods were proven and that we’d find new paths. Above all, as a coach, you know our job is to stand in the Land of Possibility. We can’t believe the “story” that there are no other options.

That doesn’t mean we are out of touch with reality. I’m always telling my clients I’m not going to lead them off a cliff or ask them to run away with the circus. I am here to help them decide where to invest their time, attention, and energy.

Are they investing in what can’t happen? Or are you investing in what CAN happen? Are you investing in what can’t happen or what can? (for yourself)

Consider this —

People often tell me they can’t land their dream job, change careers, reach for their dream income, or start a business because of their age.

Is there some truth to that? Yeah!

But does it serve you to dwell on it? Does the fact that limits exist mean you should sit at home, doing nothing — investing in the impossibility of your next moves? Of course not.

Limitfull thinking won’t get you anywhere.

When you’re a committed pessimist, you are vying for the worst possible outcome — fully vested in proving yourself right. But what if you’re wrong? Why pursue defeat?

This is why it’s important to make a distinction between what’s possible and what’s probable.

Think about it…

When we first created the U.S. Space program, did we think it was probable that we’d make it to the moon on the first shot? Well, it wasn’t likely. But somebody had to think it was possible, or why bother? And look what happened.

Now consider what you’re telling yourself about your career:
”I’m too old.”
“I don’t have the enough experience.”
“Nobody’s gonna hire me.”
“This’ll never work.”

Does investing in this “impossible” thinking serve you? No.

What does serve you is standing in the Land of Possibility.

With my client — the professional mortgage expert I mentioned earlier — we broke down the blocks she was experiencing, and l got her back in touch with all the things she LIKES to do but had stuffed down as impossibilities.

That list came in handy when she found herself facing big industry shifts and a potential layoff two months later.

Rather than staying stuck in the “impossible,” I challenge you to invest your time, attention, and energy into what’s possible too.

I challenge you to do the work and explore the Land of Possibility with clarity and gusto.

Seeking Answers? Look in the Mirror.

By Laura Berman Fortgang on October 16, 2022

Have you ever been stuck in a rut, wondering what you’re doing wrong or what you could do better?

You look everywhere for answers — books, blogs, seminars, friends, therapists, coaches, turning over rocks, praying to god, chatting with complete strangers online.

And you just can’t figure out how to get unstuck.

You think to yourself, “whyyyy can’t I get this right?…reach this goal?…make this change?”

It’s a crummy, lonely, desperate feeling. The longer you let it go on, the worse it gets.

So what do you do when it seems like there’s nowhere left to look?

Sometimes the answer’s right in the mirror.

Sometimes the very thing that’s frustrating you most is something you are doing yourself.

Does nobody ever take your advice? Maybe it’s because you’re always ignoring the advice you’re given.

Not landing a job — any job! — even though you’ve told countless recruiters you can do pretty much anything? Maybe it’s because you don’t really know what you want, so they don’t really know why to hire you.

Can’t find clients because nobody wants to invest in your services? Maybe it’s because you’re not investing in yourself or your business for the services you need.

It might sound like I’m blaming you for what’s going wrong, but I’m not.

I’m simply suggesting that you might need to give more of what YOU are not getting.

You might need to look in the mirror to figure out what that is.

No, you won’t always find the answers there. But it’s another place to look — one that’s most often overlooked.

I know this isn’t the easiest advice to accept, but you’ll thank me later.

So why not get started now?

I want to challenge you to identify the ONE biggest point of frustration in your career or business today. Then take a look in the mirror. Can you see where you might need to give more of what you’re not getting?

To your success,
Laura

How to Make a Tough Career Decision

By Laura Berman Fortgang on October 2, 2022

Figuring out where to go next on your career path is rarely an easy decision.

It often keeps people up at night, tossing and turning, wondering what their next best move might be.

When considering an opportunity, sometimes it’s a clear “hell no!” or “heck yeah!” But more often than not, folks find themselves grappling in the gray — not knowing which way to go.

We’ve all been there.

You make a list of pros and cons.
You ask everyone you know for their input.
You’ll even start flipping coins if you’re desperate enough.

But if you really want to find the best answer, here’s what you need to know —

When you’re nervous about making a career decision, there’s a good chance your brain is working against your best interests.

Your gut is trying to steer you right.

The small voice inside that we refer to as instinct or intuition is pretty spot on. If the idea of pursuing the opportunity feels exciting and lights you up, that’s a big hint that you’re onto something.

But then the fear starts to kick in.

You’ll recognize it when you hear yourself saying, “yeah, but…”

Here’s a tip I learned a long time ago from a career counselor:

“The number of ‘yeah, buts’ you say is in direct correlation to the depth of your fear.” – Adele Scheely

Your fear is simply trying to put on the brakes to keep you safe, but it can keep you stuck if you let it.

‘Yeah, but’ is your logical thinking flexing its muscles.

Let it help you anticipate the obstacles you may face and chart a clear path forward, but don’t let it stop you.

Discernment is important because there’s often another tricky conspirator attempting to push you forward while further clouding your decision-making — your emotional needs.

Are you really excited about this career move because it’s the right thing for you? Or are you doing it in an attempt to fulfill some unmet emotional need — seeking approval, recognition, or validation, for example?

Your emotional needs are aching to be fulfilled, trying to get your attention because you didn’t get enough of whatever it is as a kid.

It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but it is something to be mindful of. Don’t let the need to feel loved, heard, or appreciated override good sense.

See what I mean? Not easy.

Career decisions come with real consequences.

Without the ability to work out the decision from a place of awareness and confidence, you can find yourself miles down the wrong path, wondering how you got there.

You may even find yourself walking in circles or hesitant to take the next step because you are already lost. This is especially true if you’ve made poor decisions in the past that got you to a place where you didn’t want to be.

You may have lost some trust in decision-making. So let’s work on that.

In my experience as a coach, I’ve found the best way to reach a healthy decision is to feel your way through it. If you’ve lost touch (or trust) with your gut instincts and intuition, you can learn to tune back in again.

So if you’re grappling with a big decision and want some guidance feeling your way through it, join us over in the Career Clarity and Direction Community on Facebook.