Now What?® Coaching

from Laura Berman Fortgang

Job Search

Career Lessons Learned from the Royal Family

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We just witnessed the end of an era.

After a lifetime of service to her country, the reign of Queen Elizabeth II came to an end — a sad day for so many worldwide.

We also witnessed a new beginning, as the man we’ve always known as Prince Charles transitioned into his role as King Charles III.

Career lessons learned from the royal familyAt nearly 74 years old, he’s stepping into a job he’s been planning and training for since childhood. Talk about succession planning!

As a career coach, I can’t help but find this fascinating.

While most of us set out to land a job that best suits us, we often make compromises that land us where we never expected to be. We don’t always get to follow the plan we charted from the start.

When Queen Elizabeth took the throne at age 26, she declared that no matter how long or short her life was, she was committed to being of service.

If you’ve ever been in survival mode, you might find yourself muttering “must be nice.” Being of service is a whole lot easier if paying the bills isn’t at the forefront of your mind. But hear me out…

If you’re finding yourself in a career conundrum right now, with no idea where to turn next, you’ll find your answer in their story.

I know, I know — it might not seem relatable.

But like Charles, you’ve been preparing for something all these years too. Like Elizabeth, you can answer the call to service too. Sure, you don’t have the royal family’s coffers behind you, but we’re all human, and we all have the ability to make the most of our lot in life.

Think about it. Ask yourself:

  • What do I have? What are my skills? What is my training?
  • Where are the places I’ve been fortunate enough to be that have prepared me to be of service?
  • What are the experiences that have built my career and life to this point?

Here’s a hint: The answers aren’t in your resume.

Think about the big picture. Consider what you’ve overcome. Reflect on the things that made you who you are on a deeper level. This isn’t about job titles or tasks completed; it’s about who you’ve become in the process.

We opened up registration for our new and improved (and sweetly priced) Now What?® Experience, where participants will do the “soul search” before the job search with our guidance and support. We close registration Tuesday at midnight eastern. You can still join us there!

Should You Soul Search Before the Job Search?

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Your teeth are clenched, your stomach lurches, you might even be breaking out in a nervous sweat, but you are proud of yourself for finally applying to a couple of jobs online and reaching out to two contacts that might help in your search.

Why the nerves?

Well, maybe you know it’s time for a change, but you can’t name what you want to do. Taking any action feels better than taking none, but will it get you anything better than you have now? Grasping at straws could lead to another mismatch, but if you take the time to do a little check in with your soul, you will sharpen your job search and get better results.

How do you do that?

I’m tired of hearing professional career guides talk about matching your job search to your values. Not because it lacks validity, but more so because the guidance is vague. There is so much more to the “soul search” part of the job search. It’s about you knowing yourself deeply, and then trusting that you can get the world to respond in kind. I find that once you know who you are, what you’re built to do, and what you want, it’s not that hard to make it happen successfully. (Sometimes, even where you are already working!)

Here are some things to be mindful of:
  • Triggers/Needs:
    You’re human. Your unresolved “stuff” is going to get in the way no matter where you work. Name them to master them.
  • Themes of Success:
    What is repeatable? Where do you easily get results?
  • Themes of Challenges:
    What are the things that grow you and stretch you? Are they surmountable?
  • Your “Artistry”:
    Your “special sauce.” The stuff that no one else can do.
  • The Outdated Motivator:
    MOST of us got where we are to overcome something or prove something that got planted in you as a reaction to something negative a verrrrrry looooooong time ago. You’ve got to recognize it, decide if that motivation still serves you. (HINT: not likely) Replace it with something empowering. Something you can create a future on instead of just reacting to the past.

What you’re good at isn’t always what you’re meant to do, and so many of us are still using the paper road map we were guided by in high school and college. It’s outdated! You need to fine tune your GPS. Don’t skip this step.

Join our next Career Clarity REBOOT September 12-16th (with bonus days September 17th and 18th)

WAKE UP! Feel Your Way to A New Career

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Stop thinking!

Rationalizing, logically ruminating, and plotting are not the most successful ways to figure out what’s next for you in your career and work life. They are good skills and have worked before. However, once you’ve landed on my site or email list, you’re frustrated and looking for new answers.

I’ve got them.

Wake up to how you’re feeling to move the needle on your career exploration!

How you’re feeling is a much better indicator of career satisfaction than thinking.,
do you feel about doing your current job?
How do you FEEL about the things you’d do if you could wave the “magic coaching wand?”
Two different feelings, likely. Am I right?

I know. I know.

    “Yeah, I’d love to do that thing (that feels better) but:”

  • I don’t know how to make it happen.
  • No one will hire me.
  • I can’t make any money at it.
  • I’ve invested so much in what I’m doing now.

Did I miss one?

OK. Look. Let’s get real. Yes, there are many obstacles to doing “the thing” that feels right. Biggest one is your thinking (and logic and all that mentioned at the top of this article!) So, what do you do?

Gather the data. What feels right contains data. It’s in your DNA (in my humble opinion); however, we live in a world that doesn’t honor that as it should, but you have to. Harvest this information.

Observe how you can transfer some or all of what feels right into your current situation or a new one that is immediately more attainable.

For example, let’s say that your “magic wand” move would be to be a writer. Finding your way to writing full time and getting paid for it may seem far off, but that should not be a sign to abandon it.

How do you get writing into your life now? Can you do it as a hobby? Can you do more writing at your job? Is there a job change you can make internally that can include more creativity?

Often, the thing we most want to do can be done in some other “form” (novelist vs. adding creativity to your current job) that brings about more satisfaction and fulfillment.

It’s not necessarily a substitute, but rather tapping what you truly want out of being a writer in the first place (to be creative).

This is just one example. Yours is as unique as you are.

What I hope is that you can see that you’ll not logically find your way to a next, satisfying career move. Your body – your feeling – is your best indicator of what’s next.

Wake up. Listen deeply.

Tap us/me if you need an assist.

The Stages of Grief When Changing Careers (By choice or by force)

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Losing a job or choosing to change gears because you’re miserable in your current role, can bring on grief and mourning like the loss of a loved one. That’s probably not surprising if you’ve been suddenly let go, but it may be news to you if you are choosing to move on.

I’m currently working with someone who saw very quickly in our process that leaving their job and current career was no longer a pipe dream but rather, a “must.”

We determined the criteria for happiness* in a career for them. They determined areas of interesting employment that fit that criteria, and then, when there were a couple of obstacles, grief kicked in. They had stepped out into the abyss of the unknown and it was emotionally intense.

If you are working through the morass of change, walk through Kubler-Ross’ stages of grief with me. Knowing the stages, will help you recover from them more easily. You’re not alone and there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re grieving and fearful or maybe someone you love is.

  • Denial, numbness, and shock: Checking out mentally to not feel pain is a common coping mechanism. For those of you who know you’re in a job you hate, you likely go numb just to get through the day. Perhaps you’re even in denial that it’s time to move on because it’s scary to face and unknown and all the work it takes to find the next step.
  • Bargaining: You may be playing over in your mind what you could’ve done differently to not have been fired or downsized or perhaps you’re making deals with yourself that if you can last two (five, ten, fifteen) more years, you’ll finally do or have that thing you’ve been putting off so it’s worth staying.This stage is holding off reality with all your might. If you catch yourself bargaining, realize what’s really going on.
  • Depression: Everything is real and registering emotionally now. You might feel helpless or like you’re rolling in a wave in the ocean that has overtaken you and you’re not sure how you’ll get out.Practice being patient with yourself. You are grieving, after all. Get professional help from a therapist if depression persists. Professionals recommend seeking help if symptoms persist more than two weeks.
  • Anger: Heck yes, there will be anger! You didn’t ask (or plan) to be without a job or disrupting the status quo of your life and livelihood! You have every reason to be mad.If you are leaving a position or career by choice, having surprise setbacks, or hitting obstacles to getting to your new destination can frustrate you and maybe even make you angry at yourself for leaving a ‘sure’ thing. You’ll likely get made and question the whole attempt.Do not despair! This is normal. Hopefully, you can start to channel that anger into determination instead of defeat.
  • Acceptance: In time, we assimilate the loss. Whether it’s the loss of the job itself, the identity that came with it, the stability you mourn or the people you used to be with almost every day, you will reconcile with reality and find a path forward.
Grief is serious emotional work, and it can take its toll on you. Seek professional help if the feelings are overwhelming. Journal about it.

Accept that there will be negative and positives, good days, and slower, heavier days. Working with a like-minded group of folks in a group where folks are up to the same goals or similar circumstances might help too.

In closing, remember that grief is a normal part of being human, even in the context of job and careers. There is no shame in it. There is a new chapter trying to emerge. Keep looking for the possibilities instead of focusing on what you are leaving behind. Keep moving forward.

*Your Criteria for Happiness is one of the modules/chapters of our Now What?® 90 Day to a New Life Direction book, online course and one on one coaching.

The ‘Great Resignation’ and The Myths of Summer

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Have you caught wind of this month’s viral prediction? Experts are predicting the Great Resignation.

Post-pandemic, more people are clear about what they do and do not want from work and a vast percentage are considering quitting their jobs.  Contrary to previous assumptions about the season, there may be opportunities this summer. This presents some challenges to how we normally think about landing a job in the summer months.

Myth: No one is interviewing in the summer

TRUTH: You must be patient with vacations and things taking longer, but interviews happen in the summer because companies want everyone running full steam with full teams come fall.

Also, since many believe this myth, you’ll have a better chance of cutting through the usual noise and getting attention.

MYTH: You’ve got all summer

TRUTH:  No, you don’t.  Summer is not necessarily June, July, and August. It varies across the United States depending on school schedules.  Some states have kids out late May and going back in August. Others have kids out the end of June and going back after Labor Day. This determines vacations for most folks. Obviously, not everyone has school age children or children at all, but vacations usually follow these norms. Job seekers should think and plan accordingly.

Again, people want to fill openings  to hit fourth quarter running so assume nothing and stay in action.

Myth: The pandemic is over

TRUTH: Things are looking good in the U.S., but remember we had lots of freedom last summer too. The real test will be how we fare in the fall as we head back indoors again.   Will we be at herd immunity?  Will the variants affect our freedom to move around?

It matters to landing a job only because of the chaos it causes.  Therefore, another argument to use this summer wisely.

The Great Resignation has not yet come to fruition, but we see in our Now What?® community many people considering leaving their jobs. That creates opportunities as people move around. For those of you considering finding a better fit, stay in action identifying where you DO want to be and do let us know how we can help.

Should You Cast a Wider Net?

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In uncertain times, we want to be open to any and all possibilities. It sounds like a logical strategy. Except, it’s not. It’s like being at a shooting range and firing your weapon in all directions hoping one of your shots hits the target.

Should You Cast a Wider Net Career TransitionA sharp-shooter, an archery master, a martial arts practitioner, even a gymnast, all have to focus their energy into one contained, clear, and accurate attempt at their goal.

The same goes for figuring out what your next career move or what you want to do with your life.

There is a time for casting a wide net, experimenting, gathering intel as you network and try things, but when you want results – a job offer, a new career direction altogether, or to achieve a big goal in your own business, it takes attention and singular focus to fully find success.

In the last few weeks, I’ve been privy to conversations that highlight our tendency to choose safety over our true desires. One client spoke with passion about a training program that would bring him the knowledge and direction to future work that was exciting and challenging.

He knew what was calling him, but he still brought me an angst-filled conversation about casting a wider net with a different training program to cover all his bases.

Did he want to spend two years studying in that domain? No. Did that setting even appeal to him? No. He told me no! Then why even have it on the docket?

Deidre just took a severance package to give herself time to plan the next chapter of her life. She could afford to make a big change. She could even retire if she really wanted to.

Week after week, we made steady progress on her discoveries towards what mattered to her and what next steps may be.

And week after week, she would report on jobs friends asked her to interview for that did not yield offers. She was spinning with uncertainty and anxiety.

She would readily admit that she didn’t really want a new job, but she kept feeling compelled to stay in the game. Why? The devil she knew was better than the unknown future we kept trying to lasso in.

Stop covering your bases.

Wider is not better. More is not better when you already know what you want to do. Bearing the discomfort of the unknown comes with great reward. When you know — when the path does become clear – it’s a feeling that will compel you to take action and make your desires come true. Focus on the target and put all your energy THERE.

Let us know how we can help . . .